His eyes squinted, “I saw you in my--o,” He grabbed his stomach in pain.
Mariah’s eyes clouded with worry. She feels like she caused this. How? She doesn’t know him. She gulped strangely.
She watched his mother rub his shoulder gently. He was still weak. His arms bore scares visible and bright to anyone. Almost as if he purposely made them be seen. His face and skin were deathly white as she wondered more about what happened to him.
His mother than looked in her direction. She stepped back. The look she was giving Mariah was the same one she remembered her own mother giving her when she woke up. Only, this look held a more heartfelt gaze.
Mariah’s heart broke with this woman’s. She can’t imagine the pain going through her mind, but oddly, she feels it.
His mother made her way to Mariah slowly taking a hold of her hands, “I’ll be right back. I just can’t be in this room too long. Thank you for understanding.”
Mariah nodded sincerely, “Of course.”
She almost felt as if she might cry on the spot as she dropped her hands and made her way out the door. When the door was shut, Mariah looked down at her feet. Shivering as the ill silence surrounded them.
She heard rustling and looked at the man in the bed. His eyes piercing her, strangely, she was intrigued. She spoke softly, “Are you OK?”
The man winced as he took his time sitting up in bed, “I am. Who are you?”
“Mariah.” She said, simply.
He looked down than up, fixing his focus on the girl. There was more to know. He wanted to know more than just her name.
“Like the singer?”
She scoffed inwardly, “No, not like the singer. I mean, well she had it before me so I guess.”
He tried to laugh and winced slightly in the process, “Interesting.”
She felt really uncomfortable now. “What is?”
He smirked, “The way you put the answer. It was sort of one of those yes or nos.”
She was a little confused, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I guess.”
He started laughing again, this time coughing. She came a little closer to him suddenly, “Are you alright, do you want some water?”
She was really close now and it was distracting him. She noticed this and kept her distance from before. He cleared his throat and looked at her, “No, I actually have too much here already. My family likes to make sure I have everything, in the two-packs.”
She nodded, “Oh, OK… Well, I--”
He was looking at her seriously now. That was a little outlandish. He felt like she was about to say something really personal. But than again, she knows about what happened to him. God knows how she met his mother. He just let it alone. Last thing he wanted to do was pry into a stranger’s personal issues.
She cleared her throat gently, “I was just going to say that I wouldn’t know what that feels like.”
He hadn’t expected her to say that. There was that weird silence rising up again. She didn’t know what to do. The florescent lights caught a glimpse of the pinkness that paled from her cheeks. She was getting flustered. She dared to look at him. His forehead appeared crinkled with lines. His breath was strange. It seemed if it had sped up faster by the second. Something plagued him suddenly, “How do you know my mom?”
She took a deep breath and sat down on the visitor’s chair. “I really don’t. I just met her actually.”
Would explain the uneasiness she portrayed. But than again, in light of the current situation, she could just be uneasy about what had happened. He was confused but it made sense still.
“I see.” He eyed her. She was looking down in thought. It bothered him how quiet and uno-sentenced she is.
He observed a smile forming. Made some light come through the dark impenetrable room. “Guess I’m making things more awkward for you. I don’t know what made me come here, but somehow I was just pulled to.”
This is something new. Where did this come from? More importantly, why was it making sense to him? He felt it too, suddenly. This strong magnetic pull. Out of nowhere. The strangest thing. It seems like a second chance is being given and he wasn’t the only one.
He looked at her with a slight tilt of his head. “Really? Strange thing is, in fact, a lot of strange things have happened this past week.”
Mariah raised her hand as if she were in class. “Amen. A lot of things have been unexplainable. I feel like praying or something but than I remembered I’m a reformed atheist.”
The corners of Josh’s mouth turned upward. “Good to know. I think a lot of times I wish I didn’t have to force myself to believe in something that seems ridiculous.”
Mariah fiddles with the bottom hem of her sweater, “My family was kind of too invested into organized religion. Personally, I think it’s a neurological disorder. That’s probably the reason why I did what I did.”
His eyes squinted, “What was that?”
She braced herself and took in a deep breathe, as long as they’re in the personal zone, “It was wild. At first it didn’t hurt. Made more sense than anything I’ve done. All I wanted to do was stop it. I couldn’t breathe and when I reached my breaking point, it was easier than I thought. It made me feel alive.”
She stopped when she realized how silent it was. She pursed her lips and looked up at him. He was wide awake with that same look displayed. Maybe she shouldn’t say too much.
She laughed nervously, “Yeah, well, I should get going. I mean, this… I don’t know what this is but I should really go.”
She waited. She watched Josh’s eyebrows raise up. Something’s not right. She watched his mouth as he spoke, “Are you uncomfortable?”
She gave it some thought but didn’t need it. “Somewhat, I am.”
"OK, are you leaving?”
“Leaving?”
“Are you leaving the hospital?”
She nodded slowly, “I should be…”
He suddenly held her hand. Not in a brisk way but in a genial manner. Like a friend. “Why? You don’t have to. I feel like you know what I’m going through more than anyone else.”
As in dueling suicides, yeah they had something massive in common. She felt him take a firmer grasp, felt like a silent promise. What? She pursued the question mentally.
“Why do you think that?”
“Just the way you talked about what went wrong.”
She backed away from his grip sternly, “No, I really should go…” she started to stutter now.
He laughed softly, it was music to Mariah’s ears. “Alright, well, it was fun having you here; even though I’m not sure exactly how you got here.”
She managed to smile a little, “Me either.”
“Kinda funny how it makes sense.”
Mariah shook her head. “Hardly.”
His ears perked up, “That’s amusing. Why do you go there?”
“Go where?”
“To that direction?”
Mariah’s head started to throb, “I don’t know, I’ve been through a lot, I guess I just don't feel like talking in general."
Talking was the main thing that troubled Mariah in the past. Everybody always had it down. They knew the words and how to say them. It sounds easier said than done. Mariah hated clichés but this one was a given. It's not just that she's shy, people actually think she's mute sometimes.
It irritated her more than anything. She had an opinion but it was just difficult to share when you know people weren’t going to listen. Mariah had sudden flashbacks to her high school. Everyone had thought she was Edward Scissorhands. Between the nerd and the loner. The freak of nature, only because she didn’t run her mouth every .5 seconds. More like disgusting nightmares, than memories.
She shuddered in the room as she was brought back, she realized she was still in the room. This guy sort of reminded her of the people back than. Always wanting to make small talk. But guys who did that only wanted one thing. Again, Mariah hates clichés.
“Well, do you wanna talk about anything?” He said, scaring her a little.
Her eyebrows bunched together, “Why are you so concerned about this?”
He smirked, “A simple yes or no wouldn’t have been better.”
Mariah rolled her eyes, “Its not that easy. Look, no offense, I really don’t know what’s going on and I think I need to go.”
“Alright, well, you could have gone a while ago but you’re still here. I not a fate follower--”
She cut Josh off, “Yeah, you know, OK. I’m gonna go out now.”
She turned around, determined to make a clean exit and not get sucked into something that will drive her anymore crazy than she already feels.
The last thing she needs is crazy thoughts filling her head.
She turned the handle and stepped out calmly. She ignored the pull to the door that she shut behind her. As soon as she stepped out she felt someone take her hand.
She turned and her eyes were apathetic. Peter Anderson pulled his daughter into a hug and held her there. To Mariah, it was overkill and against her will.
“Hi sweetie. How are you feeling?” He pulled back when he felt her push his body away.
“I’m fine, Dad. Where is she? Are you guys finished?”
He nodded, his mouth turned into a thin smile, “Your mother is finished but afterwards, I saw her talking to another woman here. I wasn’t really a part of it but your mother mentioned that her son is going through a hard time.”
“Well, is she done?” She didn’t want to sound rude but staying here was stifling enough on her neurons.
Peter shook his head, “Not yet, honey. She’s in the waiting room with Karen right now. I was talking to her husband Roy before. He’s out there too. It’s pretty heated. You’re mother’s very emotional now so try to not get her so upset maybe.”
“Yeah, OK. Maybe my suicide didn’t just make her emotional enough. I wish Eric never found me.”
He touched her shoulder and she flinched back, “Don’t say that. Please, we really care about you. We’re here for you OK?”
She didn’t want to hear the psycho babble bull shit anymore. She knows in her heart the real truth how who they both are. If they did care, she wouldn’t be here. If they actually listened to her maybe she wouldn’t feel so destitute. If they did care, she wouldn’t feel the need to swallow massive amounts of pills.
She had a strange night already, and the last thing she needed was it to get strange with such pretentious words.
“No, I’m not going through with this anymore. I’m getting mom and we’re going. Get away from me.” She huffed away toward the waiting room.
Mariah nearly sped past her father and made her way to the wait area. She spotted the coffee machine and sighed in relief. But her mother and what looked like a man and a woman handing hands in deep-sated conversation on the opposite side of the room.
Mariah rolled her eyes and marched over them, praying that she was finished. As she got closer, the woman on her right looked really familiar. When she saw her face, she felt like she’d been socked openly in the stomach. It was her. Josh’s mother. What the hell was she doing talking to her mother like they were close friends.
All the faces had turned to Mariah and she felt like she’d just been caught for shop-lifting something.
She found her voice slowly, “Mom, hi, did you finish everything?”
Suddenly she was afraid to say anything else. She didn’t want to seem like a bitch to people she barely knew.
The woman she prayed would forget her had recognized her, “Mariah, how is Josh?” She made a side note to her mom, “She spoke to my son earlier. I told her it would help him.”
Mariah started to pre-sweat now. “Um, yeah well, I didn’t want to be rude.”
The woman nodded, “Trust me sweetie, everything helps.”
Darla suddenly chirped in, “Honey we’ve invited Karen and Roy to dinner tonight. I figured since, it would help everyone deal with what’s happened.”
Huh? What? Mariah’s eyes bugged out of their sockets, “Uh, mom, no offense, is this the best idea? I mean, I still feel really tired and I just want to go home.”
Darla was impervious, “I believe it is. Besides, its nice to do. Do I make myself clear? The Chasezs are coming for dinner tonight. Understood?”
Oh boy, no sympathy ever. Did she have a choice, “Their son is coming too?”
Karen laughed, “Oh, don’t worry sweetie, you’ve already met Joshua.”
Life has officially sucked from then on.
Story Tags: jc
