Mariah's POV
I opened my eyes only to be blinded by the white illuminated around my room. I laid in bed, scared. Was I cured? Did something happen to me? This can't be. Was it too late? I was moving but my body felt like it was being controlled. I wasn't sure what really happened.
Was I dreaming? This felt like a dream. Everything was extra light and it just feels fake. Feels like anything can happen. Does anyone know I’m here? Should I call out? Oh man, this is scary. I mumbled and groaned as I tried to sit up, slowly raising my body. I was checking to make sure I was still real.
Oh no. I can't feel my legs. I can't feel anything. Everything looks so blurry. I wasn't sure if I still had my eyes.
“Hello?” I shot up.
I opened my eyes wider and took a deep breath. I could still breathe. That's something. Maybe I'm not dreaming after all. Everything was still white. Blinding white. I couldn’t get passed the over-the-topness of it. I needed to wake up. I had this sinking feeling that this wasn't real.
Why the hell was I here? Who brought me here?
I took out the oxygen tubes from my nose and pulled the monitor straps from my body. They hurt so bad when they were pulled off. I forgot they were almost glued to me. I pulled the stiff bed covers off me and tried to stand up. My eyes were barely in focus. All I could see was white still. Nothing was in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bed. I struggled to stand one more time. Finally, it paid off. I was on my feet, wobbly and scared.
I turned around and the bed was gone. OK, now I know something is fucked up here. Strangely, I can see bits of fuzziness. I see a glass, looked like a room. I can see! I can finally see! God, I was never so happy to get my eyes back.
But. Wait. What's that? Who's that? Its a... no, is that? Can't be. It can't be.
Is that, is that Josh? Who is that he's touching? That can't be me?!
I'm in the room? No, it can't be. I was in my room just 2 minutes ago. I actually felt when I was brought in. I felt it, I remember that.
I banged on the glass as hard as I could. My banging was soundless and it was no use. I couldn't look at it anymore. I felt like any second now, Frank Capra will come back from the dead and yell cut. I was stuck in a movie. Nothing seemed real. I looked at my hand.
It started disappearing right before my eyes. Rapidly, the rest of me was becoming translucent and I felt a shock jolt me up. I reminded asleep but I felt everything. Air? I had air! I can't breathe. I could feel my heart come alive. The jolts had stopped and I heard voices. They weren't in my head this time. There was motion and action in the distance. The shocks had buzzed me enough. I could feel my eyelids lifting. Oh my god.
"No, no! Let me see her. Is she Ok? No, move let me through!" I knew that voice.
I remember it from anywhere. He didn't leave me. God, why can't I open my eyes faster. It started to look bright at first, but the paleness withered away when I saw colors. I blinked completely and opened my eyes while coughing myself awake.
I raised my hand but it was caught by another. I tried to lift up my head and focus my eyes. I could see him. His silhouette. He came into focus suddenly. I remembered everything.
I groaned, "Hmm, mhmm... Wha-what's happening?"
He looked sad, his eyes were so red I couldn't make out any white spots. "I love you. My god, I love you so much." He kissed my hand, "you came back."
I coughed even louder this time, "I'm trying to remember. My--ah..."
My stomach started to seer in excruciating pain. I had to slow myself down. My heart beat was off the charts.
I tried to move more than just my hands. It didn't happen. My body was still in repose. At least I could feel everything. Josh urged me to relax with his whispers. He kissed my cheek and came closer.
I wanted to say so much but I was weak. My head was spinning in circles. Someone shut off the lights and I could finally see normally. It was way too bright before. I brought my attention back to him. His eyes... God I missed them.
"Hi," I said, dryly, my voice still adjusting.
He brought my hand to his lips and took his take kissing each finger. "I almost lost you. You came back to me. I started breathing again. I prayed so hard for this. If you go, there's no reason left anymore. We go together."
I pieced together what he said, trying to think of a response. Maybe I had it all wrong. I don't know anything. I had him all figured out since the beginning. I believed he was this stranger I'd come across who'd charm me, force me to gain his trust, and ruse me in the end. All that stuff I learned about his life; his other life. The one who used to hide from me.
It was the letter. He told me everything in that letter. I touched it. I remember now. I picked it up, reading every word. Taking in his writing as I said a silent goodbye. I wasn't good enough. I could never be good enough for him. I just didn't want to be lied to anymore. I didn't want my heart to get crushed and cry myself to sleep every single night.
But I remember the letter. I held it in my hand as took in the last of the dust. And I let it fall to the ground. I said goodbye.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to handle going on any longer. I need help." That was even more painful than my stomach.
He nodded silently. "I should let you rest, the doctor said you were supposed to be composing alone but I couldn't leave you. He let me in because I was family."
"You're family?" I placed my hand on my throat rubbing it and suppressing the roughness that came out.
"Friends, girlfriends aren't family. I said you were my wife. They finally said I can sit with you. I couldn't leave. I stayed in the room while they were reviving you."
"I understand. How long was I asleep?"
"Two days. Dina was trying to calming me down outside the room. I tried not get so upset when they told me to wait. I still can't believe they said that."
It was then that I noticed the bandage. Why did he do this? I sat up and placed the pillow so I was propped up against the hospital bed.
All I could say was, "You didn't leave me. You're here..."
I was imprinting those words for life.
"I always will be. I can't go on without you." He whispered gingerly.
He loves me. Its real.
We were interrupted by a knock on the door. The nurse opened the door just slightly. She motioned for Josh to come outside. He looked at me to let me know what was going on. I nodded and he reluctantly got up, kissed my cheek and hand before going to leave the room. He closed the door behind so gently I didn't hear a click.
I slipped down to my original position, pulling the stiff covers over my body. One thing I'm not going to miss is the beds.
I turned over to my side carefully. I didn't want to sit on any wires. I really wanted to take the oxygen tubes out of my nose. I'm starting to regain my breathing. My heart slowed down a lot since I woke up. It was almost normal. I'd have some time to think and probe into everything. Now I need to rest and get better. The first step: closing my eyes and thinking of black.
Story Tags: oral love hospital
