Mariah's POV

When I opened the door I rushed inside to my room, trying to find a hiding spot. I hid inside the closet and closed the door.

"I'm gonna get you." He was inside now but I wasn't scared.

I opened the door and ran over to the bathroom. I had a feeling he was gonna find me soon so I changed places. It didn't last long. He caught me before I could go inside.

"Ha, Josh, no." I ran around to the other side and hid behind the door, hoping he didn't see.

"Gee, I wonder were the little princess is. Could she be... here." I peeked a little as he checked under the bed and got.

I hid fast so he wouldn't see. Damn, this is the worst hiding spot ever. I had to move or I'll lose this game. I hated losing.

Damn it, he stepped next to the door. No! I was trapped.

"Is she here?" He pulled open the door and grabbed me.

"Not far, I didn't have a head start."

"You had enough head in the car princess." He kissed a line on my neck.

"Not the same thing, Josh. Hey, come on, you barely gave me a chance to hide."

His grip on me was so tight I was struggling for air. He held my hips down so hard it was like he was gluing me to the ground.

"You did a bad thing before. And I told you that you're not getting away with it." He started unbuttoning my shirt and snaked his hand inside, cupping at one of my breasts.

Something was off. I knew he meant it as a joke but my body and mind weren't playing along. I couldn't allow him to continue, not like this.

Flashes of my dad shook me as I blurted something out, "Josh, no. I can't do this."

He was sucking on my right breast and kissed in between them up to my lips and captured them before he whispered something.

"I need you. I missed how this feels." He kissed my cheek and pulled on my ear with his teeth softly.

My heart wasn't into the game anymore, "No, please. I can't."

He pulled back and look at me with glassy eyes, "What-what's wrong?"

This time I was the one who leaned my forehead against his, "I don't know. I just can't. Something about it is just wrong now."

"Alright, I understand."

His grip on me finally softened. I was grateful. Now I could breath a little better.

"Josh, I just need time. I can't do this again. I still can't trust you." I walked away from him and opened the screen door to let Maggie out.

I forgot about my life here. Distractions, distractions. Not again. He won't last, I have to keep reminding myself that. I felt a chill and covered up my nakedness on top and buttoned my shirt up.

Its 11:30pm and no Dina. Shit, I need to just go to bed now. She's doing this on purpose but she doesn't know him, he'll follow me until I give in. I almost did and I hated that.

I knew he was there I didn't have to turn around. "Josh, I'm going to bed. You should too. In the guest room."

"For whatever I did, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to get like this. I only thought we were having fun."

I turned around and walked right passed him toward my room.

I closed the door and leaned up against it. "I almost gave myself. How could I be so stupid?"

There has to be a way to avoid him. I couldn't do this. I couldn't trust him knowing he'll just hurt me again. I could feel it. Pains me to say I felt it in his touches.

The winter here is cold and bitter
Its chilled us to the bone
We haven't seen the sun for weeks
Too long too far from home

I took in a deep breath and cleaned up around my bed. Just clearing a way to walk around. Trying to forget the fact that he was still here and wouldn't leave me alone. I needed time. I wasn't ready for this. I needed to be as far away from this as I can. For the rest of the night.

I just needed to be by myself. I couldn't have him staying here, reminding me of the inevitable.

I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low

I looked around my room and closed my eyes. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open even a little bit. I could hardly think. My mind was so tried of the screaming and vicious taunting all I wanted to was drown myself now. But I couldn't. Don't ask me why. I'm all talk when it comes to complete suicide.

Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this

I heard a knock on the door and looked over at it. I saw a piece of paper being pushed underneath the door.

"Please read it. Goodnight, Mariah."

I hesitated for a second. But I was curious. I walked over and quickly grabbed the letter and placed it on my night stand. I walked away to the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. I needed to clean up. I finished, wiped my mouth on the towel and shut off the lights.

Full of grace
My love
So it's better this way, I said
Having seen this place before

I shed my clothes and put on my PJ shorts and tank. The folded letter still laying there for me to take. My fingers were pulling toward it. I knew I had to read it. He must have written it before he came here.

I sighed, walking calmly over to my night stand, sitting on my bed first. I picked up the letter and unfolded the page...

Mariah,

I'm trying to write this just in case I couldn't tell you everything in person. I want everything out in the open. I mean everything. All the lies, all the nightmares, and everything else that you thought I was keeping from you. Mariah, I say this over and over but you have to know this isn't easy for me. Lies and secrets tend to come out eventually in the worst ways. I don't want that to happen to us. I do believe in us trying to rebuild this because it brings me life and the peace I dream of. Let's start with the truth. I love you. I haven't felt this way about anyone else and you can say whatever you want, I know you think I don't mean it, but even a year ago I couldn't stop thinking about you. About us...

I shook the paper, "I can't do anything with those easy words."

Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long

I continued on.

About Bobbie. Last year, she came over and asked me about maybe giving us another try. I literally thought, no way. She had hurt me so bad, I was 21 when it happened. Very young and I thought I was going to be with her for a long time. Yes, I did love her. But she didn't love me back, and it isn't fair to bother continuing to love someone who doesn't want you. So I have to say this. I love you. We know that much. I've made plans to stay here for the week because I want to prove to you that I've changed. If by the end of the week, you're still not convinced, I will leave you alone.

That's what is bothering me about this. I'll love you but if you won't love me back, I won't bother or force you to love me in return. I want you to make your own decision. I have to go, they're boarding the plane now. This is what I need to do. Hopefully you will give me chance. I can't wait to see you again. I never forgot your smile.
Love,
Josh

In the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low

Leaving? Just one week? I don't know if I can handle this. I can't let this slip away.

Josh's POV

It was just 15 minutes since I left the letter. I figure maybe she didn't read and probably threw it away. I hoped not. If she did, than at least its a start. I was going to give it to her when I saw her, but I forgot. Too tongue-tied on the fact that I actually pulled this off without her knowing. I figure now, at least she has it even if she hasn't read it.

I looked around the guest room. Kind of boring, what guest room isn't? It was decorated like a cheap hotel room, complete with faux paintings of Monet rip offs. But I couldn't complain. I had this overwhelming urge to knock on the door next to me. But this was up to her. I don't want to be the guy forces things to happen.

I noticed there were a lot of books stacked neatly against the corner wall. The bookcase stood like a New York building. Mostly old books that have collected dust over the years. I spotted something interesting. "Putting the Pieces Together, Class of '94". It had to be a yearbook. I was curious to know what she looked like when she was 17.

I walked over and picked out the black bounded book and started flipping through the pages. I assumed she was in the senior section and I checked out the photos.

Still had that smile. There's something about that smile. The corners of my mouth curved up at the sight.

I felt like I was being a little too nosy. I figure when she's ready to show me this stuff, the time will come. I'm really leaving the decision up to her. I'm not fighting to keep her in my life. Least not in that way. She's had enough control in her life, I couldn't add to it. This isn't up to me. I won't pursue her without both of our hearts into this. No matter how I feel. I closed the book and placed it back in it's place.

I shivered at the cold that passed in the room. I went over to the window and shut it softly. Man, it was super cold here. LA would have been even colder, I didn't long for it so much.

There were bigger things on my mind. The girl who's currently shutting me out for night after she blows me. Not figuratively. Strange, I know. It's fucking weird and out of sorts but I noticed a different side of her there. A more freer spirit emerged and she was doing what came natural. OK, I know you're thinking, how could that be natural?

Well, I could just tell it was out of her character and she doesn't come off as the life of the party. This was something she rarely does. Be herself. It's hard to. Especially when people are fucking fickle and you basically have to impress them everyday. Its a battle in itself.

But she doesn't have to. It doesn't matter what they think. I have to let her know that. I was going to do it now.

I got up and left the room. I was careful not to make too much noise. She might be sleeping.

I did the gayest thing ever. I tip-toed like a scared little girl toward her room and when I reached her door I stopped suddenly. I felt a presence and looked behind me.

"Josh, is that you? What are you doing?" A red-headed woman I barely recognized appeared in the hallway.

I stumbled, forgetting my footing, "Nothing, just, just checking on her."

She raised her eyebrow and came toward me, lowering her voice a little, "Did something happen? Why is she alone in there? I told her I would come back in an hour but the movie took longer than I expected."

We walked over to that kitchen and sat down. I had a feeling she was Dina, I was only shocked at first.

The room was so silent. I didn't say anything back right away because I was still searching for the right words. The words I could live with.

I sighed, bringing both my hands to my face and taking them down as I spoke, "I did what I needed to do. We need time. Only I gave her the letter. I'm not sure if she had read it yet, I hope she did. I told her for the week. I'm not forcing anything or making her love me. It's not my place."

Dina's face scrunched together as she took what I said in. "You don't need to make her do anything. People do that all the time. She loved you on her own terms. She's just a beaten girl and she has problems with letting herself trust anyone. She's been a broken girl for a while now and I think its good that you're here."

Was it really? It's still just the first day. I'm alive, I still have my chance.

I smiled, despite the pit in my stomach. The doubt I feel is bunching up. And than, I thought of that smile. How losing that smile could rip me apart at the thought. I didn't want to. I wanted that smile. I had to keep the smile as long as I could.

"There's always tomorrow." I was determined.