Inside Out.
Justin knew the minute he entered the room that something was a miss. He scratched his chin and took a sip of water from the glass in his hand before moving into the room.
There were streaks of orange light that filled the room, falling gently through the open windows and onto the hardwood floors of the study. He walked across the room, causing veins of light to fall on his back, and placed the glass down on the oak table.
It was littered with papers and books, indicating that somebody had been in there previously, and on the matching oak there a black coat was draped loosely over it. Justin pushed aside the top papers, and slowly sat down on the chair.
He reached for a pen on the far side of the table and searched for a blank piece of paper, before he saw it. It lay open, on its leather bound spine, exposing its tattered pages to him and reading the date of September 24th 2007.
It’s today’s date, Justin noted, and slowly picked it up; preparing to close it but the curvy, black calligraphy that embossed the pages caught his attention. He pulled the book closer to him, to get a closer look and despite himself began reading the words on the page.
It was five years ago today that I last saw him, with his tiny fingers wrapped tightly around my large ones and his large emerald eyes staring at me, asking me the unanswered question I have been avoiding all these years. Why would I do this? I am still wondering the same thing. Why did I do that?
But now, as I sit here writing this I think I finally understand why. Back then I was scared, I was afraid of what it might do to me. And now, I feel guilty for it. I feel guilty that I gave him up because I was afraid of what people might think.
He read the words over and over again, trying to make sense to the words that had entangled themselves into his brain, making sure he had read right. He could feel his blood pumping through his veins, and felt his knuckles turn white as he clutched hold of the tattered brown book.
He was so wrapped up in what he was reading he didn’t notice her, standing by the door with her grey tabby cat in her arms, staring at him.
“Justin?” Her voice caused him to jump, dropping the book and staring up at her.
“Kat,” he answered and hastily stood up, and as he did so his knees knocked slightly with the table causing the glass of water to shake slightly as he did so. “You’re back early.” He licked his lips nervously, and reached over to get his glass of water.
“What are you doing Justin?” she asked, the tone in her voice making him so nervous that as his fingers found their way around the glass he knocked it over, causing water to spill all over the desk and onto the diary.
“Shit,” he grumbled under his breath and looked around for the box of tissues that was usually kept on the desk.
“Justin?” she asked again, and he looked up. She put the cat down on the floor and walked over to him. He rubbed his hands on his jeans and quickly tried to cover up the mess he had caused, placing the glass back upright and covering the ruined diary with other ruined papers. “What are you doing?”
“I was just looking for something,” he replied and eyed the box of tissues out of the corner of his eyes as she reached the desk. He reached over and grabbed the tissues, wiping up whatever water he could, trying to distract himself from her hawk like gaze.
“And did you find it?” she asked, he couldn’t tell if she knew what he’d been doing or not. He shook his head, and managed to look back up to her.
“Uh no,” he said and walked around the desk, throwing the tissues in his hand into the trash can that lay beside the desk as he did so, “Let’s go watch some TV or something, I can find it later.” She looked at him curiously, then back at the desk but didn’t say anything, just nodded.
“Alright, if you’re sure,” her voice sounded unsure, as if she wanted to tell him something more. He nodded and took her hand.
“Yeah I am,” he breathed and began pulling her out the room before she could say anything. She stopped hastily as they reached the doorway. “What?”
“Whiskers,” she replied, referring to the cat and as if on cue the cat came out of the room, rubbing itself up against her legs. She let go of his hand and bent down to pick it up. “He needs to be fed.”
“Alright,” he said taking the cat from her, which caused both her and the cat to protest, “I’ll do it. Why don’t you go turn on the TV and find us something to watch?”
“O-Okay,” she answered, there was definitely an unspoken tension in the air that had arisen in the past few minutes.
“Cool,” he nodded, holding his breath as he watched her quickly walk away from him, turning a few doors down into the front room. A few moments later, as he stood there holding the overly plump cat in his arms he heard the buzz of the television being turned on and become part o the background.
He let out a relaxed breath as soon as he was certain she was settled watching a movie and put the cat back down, causing it to rub up against him as well. He stroked its head for a moment before standing back up.
“Sorry bud,” he told the cat and glanced into the study, where the mess they had left was clearly evident. “But I’ve got some cleaning to do.”
He turned on his heel, causing the cat to stumble away from him a bit, and walked back into the study, allowing the cat to follow him inside, obviously hungry. Justin ignored the cat, and walked up to the desk, pushing aside the papers until he found it.
It was soaked through, and the ink ran down the page, blending each word, each letter together like an ink painting. He held it gingerly, hoping it wouldn’t rip and with his free hand managed to grab some more tissues and clean up the mess. He threw the new wad of tissues away, having cleaned up most of the mess and picked up the glass with his free hand.
He turned around and walked out the door, knowing he had to talk her even if she didn’t want to talk to him. But something in the back of his mind, as he remembered the look she had given him when he’d first noticed her standing at the door, told him she’d want to talk to him too.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Chapter Notes:
There are some sensitive topics in here so be warned!! Also wrote this for the sugar shack writing challenge number 3.. enjoy!!
Completed
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
