I don’t know what to do at all. I want to run out of this room and make sure Justin is alright but I can’t! Mostly cause I already tried. I took this damn heart monitor thing off and the nurses came rushing in here. I had to calm down before they gave me something that would knock me out. So here I sit in my hospital bed crying like a big baby cause I don’t know if my Justin is ok. A few minutes later I hear a knock on the door and it starts to open. I can tell you right now I have never been more relived to see that face before in my life!

“OMG you’re ok!” I get out while crying even harder. I see Trace and Misty walk in behind him

He walks over to my bed and gives me a big hug. “Yea I’m defiantly ok now that you know I’m ok.” He says

“I had this awful feeling in my gut and then when I saw the news and talked to Trace and Misty I was going crazy!”

“I know I know. Everything is ok now.”

“What about Devon? Where is he?” I ask almost afraid to know.

“They took him into surgery. I think he will be fine but I don’t know for sure.”

“Hey Justin, Misty and I are gonna give you and Anais some time alone. I’ll let you know when it’s time to go.” Trace says while opening the door.

“Thanks man. Hey Misty would you mind coming back in here and sitting with her after I leave?” Justin asks.

“No not at all.” She smiles and she and Trace walk out the room.

As Justin is sitting down all these thoughts are running through my head and I’m crying and I’m just so happy that he is ok I say something that has been on my mind for almost a month now.

“I Love You too Justin!” I blurt out.

He just sits there and looks at me for a second not sure of what to say so I start talking again.

“I know we never finished the conversation we were having on the island that night. We got so consumed with the PI and then all the work we had to do when we got back. We just basically left the conversation alone. But I never stopped thinking about it and I do love you so much. I’ve loved you since that night after we had sex. I just didn’t know how to say it or what to do. I was so afraid that you didn’t feel the same. I just buried it inside.”

I can see the tears in his eyes and then Justin gives me the shock of my life.

“Snuggs I… I think we should stop seeing each other for a while.”

“You what? Why would you say something like that?” I ask

He looks really nervous. “I started seeing Veronica again” He says simply

I look down at my hands as the tears start to roll. “Oh.” Is all I can get out.

“Anais I’m sorry. I thought that since you didn’t say anything about it you just weren’t feeling me so I went back and tried to fix things with Veronica. So far we are doing good. I don’t want to just drop her cause we had a life and death situation. I think you’re just saying you love me cause of everything that has happened today and you’re saying it’s cause of other things because you don’t want me to think it just cause of this.”

“Justin I know how I feel and I’m not saying it cause of what happened. I’m saying it cause it’s true!!” I can feel myself getting angry.

“If it was so true why didn’t you say it to me a month ago?” He throws back.

 I can tell he is starting to get angry and I can’t fight with him right now. It’s not in me. “You know what Justin I can’t do this with you. I think you should just leave.” I say

“See Anais that’s what I mean by you’re just saying it cause I got hurt. I don’t need you toying with my heart. I’ve had to many other girls do that. I don’t need you doing it too.” He says and walks out the door.

How did we go from being happy about everything to this. I’m right back were I was before he came in sitting on my bed and all I can do is cry.

3 weeks later

So I’m out of the hospital and back at work. I had some one else take over all of the stuff I was doing with Justin. I know he had to reschedule everything because of the shooting. At any rate would you believe we haven’t talked to each other since that night at the hospital. He was treated and released the same night. I however had to stay an extra day. Everything is fine with me and I don’t have any permanent damage done so I can still have children some day.

Trace has been trying to at least get me to talk to Justin, but that has been a no go. Mostly because we are both so stubborn. I don’t want to see him, I mean how can you tell somebody you love them and then turn around and get back with your ex-girlfriend who you by the way called my name in the middle of sex. Men are just so stupid sometimes. I’m not sure what his excuse is for not trying to contact me and right about now I don’t care.

“Anais, you have a phone call on line four.” I hear my secretary buzz.

“Who is it?”

“A Lynn Harless.” She replies.

Great now with everything else I have to talk to Mama Lynn. In my most chipper yet professional voice I answer the phone.

“Anais Taylor”

“Hello Anais. How are you doing sweetie?”

“I’m alright Mama Lynn.”

“That’s good. I’m sorry I didn’t get to call you sooner but everything has been so crazy lately.” She says.

“It’s ok. I understand. How are you?” I ask

“I would be much better if you and Justin were talking.”

I knew this conversation wasn’t going to be a hi how are you thing.

I sigh. “Well I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Anais just talk to him.” She says.

What am I suppose to say to him? I mean I confess my true feelings and he says I’m only saying it because of everything that happened. Further more as I stated if he was so in love with me how did he just so easily get back together with Veronica. I want to yell all of these things to Lynn, but she isn’t the reason why this is happening.

So I take a deep breath before I say anything else. “Mama Lynn I know you mean well but I really don’t want to talk about this. I’m not going to beg him to talk to me and I know two wrongs don’t make a right , but I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Anais just please try and work things out with Justin. You all have been best friends for far too long.” She pleads.

“I have to go. I’ll call you later.” I say before hanging up the phone.

I get up from my desk and head to the “closet” as we like to call it to pick up the clothes for P.Diddy’s shoot. I’m glad I have something to keep my mind off of things at least for a few hours.