It’s freezing out here. I don’t mean that it’s a little chilly I mean it’s like minus five out here and a nor’easter is coming through. I look outside and shiver seeing as how my heat is out and the electric company is threatening to shut off my electricity soon anyway. A stack of bills to be paid remains on my counter but without one of those things called a job comes around I don’t have one damn way to pay it. So there you go.

I sit back down on the couch, trying not to imagine being homeless for the coming new year. Nothing in my life has gone according to plan. I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do to get it back on track and the days just keep slipping by without end. I wish I could just pause it for a minute to catch up but somehow I just keep falling father and father behind.

I go to the fridge and extract the last thing in the fridge, a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Nothing like eating something colder than you already are to make your holiday really special.

A shiver runs up my back as I look at the calendar. Two weeks until Christmas. The man at the church I slept in last night told us to hold out for hope, that God would take care of everything. That’s a load of crap. If there’s a God I’m still waiting for the evidence.

“God. What God? At this point it’s going to take a miracle for me to survive the remainder of this year.” I sigh, hitting my head against the back of my futon.

“Alana.”

I turn around to see a man standing by my fridge, looking in it. I jump up off the couch and look at him, “Who the hell are you?”

“Damien.”

“What are you doing in my apartment?”

He closes the fridge, “Obviously not eating anything,” he says, slamming it closed.

“Look, I don’t have anything worth any value but you can have whatever you can find,” I say, backing myself up against the wall.

“I’m here Alana because you seems to be doing quite the complaining lately about your life.”

Okay, obviously this guy just broke out of a psychiatric hospital, “Listen, I don’t have any money but there is a shelter around the corner if you want me to take you there.”

He starts to laugh and I grab the phone quickly, “I am going to call 911 if you don’t get out of here right now.”

“I’d like to Alana but the big guy upstairs says I can’t so I’m stuck here with you until my job is done.”

“Okay, that’s it,” I say, punching the numbers into the phone but it won’t dial. I look up at the man and start punching the numbers harder.

“It’s not going to work Alana.”

I look up shakily, “What did you do?”

Damien rubs his arms, “It’s cold in here.”

“My heat’s out,” I say cautiously walking towards the door carefully.

He smiles and points to it. Instantly a sound comes out of the radiator and with a loud groan, the heat comes on. I stare at it before making a run for the door, grabbing a hold of the doorknob but it won’t turn. I try to pound on the door but it makes no sound. I spin around and stare at the guy now positioned on my futon making himself comfortable.

“Who are you?” I breathe, trying not to cry.

“I told you, my name is Damien.”

“What are you?”

He smiles again, “An angel.”

I snort, “I don’t believe in angels.”

“Well then this is going to be even more fun than usual.”

“You’re insane you know that?” I say, still trying to turn the doorknob with my hand.

“I’m here because you seem to be complaining about your life lately and blaming God.”

“I don’t believe in God.”

“Then if I were you I would rethink cursing at him when something bad happens if that’s true.”

“So if you’re really an angel, shouldn’t you have wings or glow or something?” I mock.

“We’ve changed uniforms as of late,” he says dryly.

I roll my eyes, “So what is your plan? Give me a winning lottery ticket or something to make up for the crappy hand I’ve been dealt?”

He shakes his finger at me, “That’s the thing about you humans. He gives you free will and every bad decision you make you blame him.”

“What?”

“You made your own decisions in life. I’m going to show you what would have happened if you had taken a different path in life. You put yourself here all by yourself but seeing as how it’s almost Christmas the guy upstairs agreed to cut you some slack.”

“I don’t understand.”

“That’s okay, you don’t have to. Just remember, you were the one that made the decisions in life.”

I twist the doorknob as it suddenly opens and I run down the stairs. Suddenly the stairs drop out from under me and I’m in what feels like a tornado. I’m going to die I know it. Everything starts to spin and I close my eyes, preparing to give up on life.

________________________________________________________________________

I move my body, feeling something cool underneath my body. I open my eyes slowly to see sheets. I push my body up off the sheets to see a bed. First off, I don’t own a bed, let alone sheets. I sit up in shock and put my hands in my hair. Suddenly my hair is down my back instead of down to my hips. My fingernails have polish on them and suddenly I can’t feel my ribs through my skin as I look down and see myself clad in only fancy underwear.

My legs swing over the bed and I go over to the huge mirror, examining myself. No longer straggly, I’m filled out a little more with actual breasts. I examine myself in the mirror until a voice behind me causes me to jump, “Hey sexy, put on some clothes and let’s go.”

I cover my body as the man grins at me, “Ally, as adorable as you are I can’t do you right now. Put on your clothes on because I’m leaving in five minutes with or without your beautiful body in the car.”

My lips don’t seem to work as he leaves and I’m left to panic. Where the hell am I?

“Welcome to your other life.”

I turn around to see Damien sitting on the bed, “Damien!”

“Good morning Alana.”

I grab a towel from off the floor and wrap it around myself, “What is going on?”

“First, we’re spirits which means we don’t feel sexual emotions, so you don’t need to cover up. I see you in the bathroom. Second, this is your life.”

Air doesn’t seem to be coming to me and I reach out for the bed. Damien rubs my back, “Try not to hyperventilate as I explain. This is a look at what your life would have been like had you made different decisions.”

“I can’t do this,” I say, taking deep breathes.

“It will come to you as you go on.”

"You see me in the bathroom?" I say, taking this all in very slowly.

"Is that really a question you want to be bothering me with?"

Okay, the man has a point. Or should I say angel. Oh hell I don't even believe in this stuff.

“Who was that?” I ask, pointing in the direction the man left.

Damien holds out his hand as a magazine suddenly appears in his hand, giving it to me. I take it hesitantly and look at the cover. On it is my picture next to the guy who had just come up. It reads, “Justin Timberlake and Alana Morrison, the perfect couple.”

“Oh holy shit.”

“Watch the language," he says standing up, "See you Alana.”

“Wait!” I say, grabbing his arm, “Don’t leave me here, I don’t know anyone or anything for that matter.”

“Don’t worry Alana, I’ll be around. For the time being, I would start enjoying the time you have here.”

And with that he disappeared, leaving me to figure out what was going to happen next.

Fuck.