Chapter 11

Early this morning, Justin and I head out on the four hour drive to Maggie's lake house in Redding, California. Both of look like death, Justin's skin is pale and blotchy, and I have horrible bags and blood shot eyes. We're still in our clothes from last night, since that's all we have. Neither of us slept at all. I think I drifted off for thirty or forty minutes but a noise came from outside and it jolted me awake because I though it was Tony. Justin's hand is still wrapped up in the now blood-stained towel that I put on him last night and we've barely spoken two words to each other. Marty is asleep in my lap. He’s lucky to be an animal right now; I would give anything to switch places with him. It's dead silent; the only sound is the occasional passing of another vehicle and the tires against the pavement. It's about to drive me crazy so I reach over to the radio and turn it on. 311's cover for Love Song is playing and I almost laugh from the corniness of that song being played at a time like this.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

How funny is this? Just when I'm in probably the last few days of my short life, some dumb ass disk jockey has to play this sappy shit. It's kind of like the movies, you know? Justin and I riding off into the sunset with 311 confessing love through song. It does get me thinking of our relationship and how Justin has really turned my life around. I look over at him and take in his delicate features. He stares intently on the road, his beautiful eyes never breaking their lock on the endless white lines that separate one traffic lane from another. His forehead is scrunched up and worry lines have made their appearances on his milky skin. He has a death grip on the steering wheel, so I know he's scared, who wouldn't be? Some crazy asshole is hunting him down and won't stop until blood is spilled.

He blinks ever so often but then his tires eyes get back to the task at hand. The top is down to the Mustang and the wind is running freely through our hair and over our bodies. You know how when you're a kid, the only thing you could think about was getting outside and feeling the grass in between your toes. I always used to love stepping outside and feeling the wind playing with my hair. When you're a kid, we were just like the wind. We had no worries, no obstacles, no set backs; we were free, like the wind. But then, we get older, we graduate from high school and get jobs, get married and have kids. And while we're busy doing those things, we forget what it feels like to be free like the wind. We forget to stop and take a look outside and thank the lord for letting us see another day. We forget the little things.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

I'm now remembering the little things. I look over at Justin again and a slight smiles twitches at the corners of my lips. I remember the first day he moved into the neighborhood. Olivia and I were sitting out in the backyard when we heard him pull up in his Mustang. He had N.E.R.D blasting so being the nosy whore we are, we walked around the side of the house and gawked at the beautiful piece of man named Justin Timberlake.

Flashback

"Damn, he is cute." Olivia says as we watch him enter his garage and then come out a few minutes later.

The moving truck pulls up a little while after and the five men begin to unload all of the boxes. Justin directs the men through the front door and even offers to help get down some of the boxes. He takes off his shirt and Olivia and I both suck in a breath, "Goddamn." I say under my breath as the sun beats down on Justin's hard body.

Olivia giggles at me, "We should go say something to him."

"No, he's only been here for ten minutes."

"So what? He's new to the neighborhood, hell, he might even be new to the state. We could show him around or something."

"No Liv."

It gets silent again as we continue to spy on the new stranger. We must have been standing there for ages because I'm sweating like a damn dog. I won't let that get in my way though, for I am in the midst of drooling over a fine piece of ass. Aaah, my favorite past time. Olivia leans up against me to try and get a better look at him, but I brush her off, "Get the hell off of me." I whisper harshly so I don't disturb the beautiful hunk of man across the street.

"Oh shut up. I can't see him since he's moved back into the garage."

"Well, I can't see him either." I lied.

I had a perfect view of him from where I was standing. Olivia leans up against me again and moves her head wildly, trying to catch a glimpse of the man once more. As she stands on her tip toes, the dumb ass looses her balance and sends us both rocketing toward the ground. I knock over a little statue of a squirrel that was sitting on a little concrete bench that was in the corner of my yard. It crashes to the ground and the men from across the street look over in our direction.

"Shit!" I say scrambling to my feet and running back into the backyard.

Olivia is right behind me and as soon as we stop, we almost die from laughter, "Do you think he saw us?" I choke out while holding my now aching stomach.

"I don't know but if he did, he probably thinks we are the weirdest bitches on earth."

We dissolve into laughter again and soon go back to our lazy afternoon.

End of Flashback

A laugh escapes my lips but Justin doesn't hear it. He just keeps starring at the concrete, like it's gonna get up and walk away if he takes his eye off of it. But, that might be the only secure thing for him right now so I'm not going to say anything. I'm going to at least let him have that little bit of peace.

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

As I sit here, bringing up old memories and stuff, my mind floats off to the future. If Justin and I make it through this and we're still together, I think I would marry him, that is, if he wanted to marry me after this is all said and done. Ashlynn Timberlake; that has a nice ring to it doesn't it? Then maybe we could have two or three kids. Ha, three little curly headed, blue eyed, caramel skinned toddlers running around; that would be cute. I've found myself thinking about that type of life lately and the only reason I'm bringing it up now is because I need to keep myself from going insane. I'm even mentally naming our non-existent children. That's kind of pathetic, I know. But I'm thinking about Ethan for a little boy and Michaela for a little girl. That would be so nice. Not having to do anything but just raise my babies and take care of my husband. I wouldn't have to worry about crazy ass ex-lovers and dead puppies. God, I wish I could do that now.

I wonder what Justin's thinking about.

______________________________

Justin's P.O.V.

Every time I close my eyes, I hear Tony's voice in the back of my head.

You had better watch her like a hawk or one day, she might not come home

And seeing what he did to the puppy shook me to the core. Now I know that he intends to end up hurting someone and getting his hands on my girl. I'm trying to be strong here, I'm trying to make it seem like I'm not worried so Ashlynn doesn't suffer a mental breakdown. I think she saw through my cover last night because she told me not to act like a hero. I have never been so fucking scared in my life and that's the truth. Never in my life, would I have thought that I would have to drive four hours to a lake house to get away from my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. This shit only happens in the movies. I can't help but think that I wouldn't be in this damn mess if I never started up with Ashlynn but I hate hearing myself say that. It's not her fault that Tony's obsessed with her, it's not like she knew this would happen either. But at the same time, these last few months would have so much easier if Ashlynn and I weren't together. I wouldn't have had to constantly watch my back and I wouldn't have been so paranoid. I think I'm starting to regret meeting her.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

What the fuck am I talking about? I love this woman sitting next to me. If we had never met, she'd probably be dead. He would've gotten to her so easy and she wouldn't of had anyone to fight for her. I'm such a moron, how could I say that I regret meeting her? These eight months that we've been together have been amazing. If someone gave me the chance to completely erase her and this situation from my life, I wouldn't. I remember when I had just moved into the neighborhood. She and Olivia would sneak around and stare at me when I'd be outside. I knew the whole time they were looking at me, I liked it though, stroked my ego pretty good. I would watch her too though. Like when she'd be watering her flowers or planting something.

Flashback

"Damn dude, you're staring her down pretty hard core." Trace said breaking me from my little fantasy world.

"I wasn't staring at her."

"Yes you were dirt bag."

She's watering her flowers again. She's wearing these really short denim shorts and a powder blue halter top. Every time she bends over, shivers just crawl down my spine. I've always been an ass man, and goddamn, has she got ass. She turns in the direction of my house and I quickly avert my eyes from her. I look back over a few moments later to see her sipping on her water bottle. She tilts her head back to down the rest of it and the sun hits her chest, accenting those two beautiful, round mountains positioned perfectly on her torso. I lick my lips unconsciously and feel Trace elbow me in the side again.

"You're doing it again. She is fine though, look at those tits."

I squint my eyes at him, I hate it when he does that shit, "Shut up man. You have no respect for women."

He laughs wildly, "Are you fuckin' kidding me? I have no respect for women when you're practically drooling over her. Yeah, you're a model citizen."

I roll my eyes and get back under my car. I look up a Trace again and see him staring down Ashlynn, "Don't." I say harshly.

He laughs again, "Oh I see, you're already starting to get jealous."

I stand erect and throw my arms across my chest, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't pull that bullshit on me man. I know how you get. You see someone you like and you want to kill anyone else who looks at the broad." How does he know me so well?

"Whatever." I get under the hood and scold myself for being so obvious.

Trace chuckles again and brings the beer bottle up to his lips to take a drink. I take a side glance at the beauty across the street but to my disappointment, she's has disappeared inside. I hear someone shuffling through my grass and look up only to see Mrs. Buchanan heading my way. She catches me eye and waves and being the polite person I am, I wave back and give her a smile.

"Shit." I say lightly under my breath.

Trace breaks out into laughter again and greets Mrs. Buchanan as she comes up beside him. I hate this woman, I really do.

End of Flashback

That seems so long ago now, when things weren't so complicated. I feel like Ashlynn and I have lived an eternity together and I don't want it to end here. When we get out of this craziness and when Tony is behind bars, I'm going to marry her.

Me saying that I regret meeting her is bothering me. I'm just stressed as hell, that's the only reason I said it...right? I mean, I love her; I want her to be the mother of my children. I want to wake up to her every day for the rest of my life. Yeah, I'm just stressing out but once this is over, these horrible thoughts and feelings will go away. Or will they? Maybe this is a sign from up above that I'm heading down the wrong path with her. Maybe we weren't meant to be. After this is done, maybe I should just cut my loses and move on without her. I mean, I can't go through this again. This is really wearing on my nerves and I can't just act like it never happened. This is going to change me for the rest of my life; I'm not going to be the same person after this. How will I be able to look at her the same day in and day out know what she's put me through?

I look over at her and sigh. She looks worn and just plain tired. Her dress in wrinkled and her hair is stringy because she didn't get to brush it out this morning. I hate myself, why am I thinking this way? God, I wish that someone could just give me a button to push and make all of this go away. I love Ashlynn. I love her.

About an hour later, we pull up to the lake house and I shut off the engine. Ashlynn gets out and lets Marty down so he can run around and stretch his little legs. We head into the house and I turn on the lights and open the windows to air the place out. Maggie hasn't been here in a year so, it needed a little fresh air. I let Marty back into the house and look out around the property from the back porch. There are two teenagers making out down on the sand but other than that, it looks okay. There aren't any other cars around or anything so for the time being, I don't have to worry about Tony jumping out from anywhere.

"I think I'm going to take a shower." Ashlynn says softly from behind me.

I turn to face her, "Okay, there's a bathroom upstairs through the master bedroom which is to the left. Maggie leaves a lot of clothes here so you can slip into those when you're done."

She nods and I watch her walk up the stairs and then disappear around the corner. She looks so defeated. I hate myself even more for thinking these crazy thoughts, Ashlynn deserves more than that. I need to shower and get changed, I feel disgusting. I walk up the stairs and into one of the guestrooms that I used to stay in. I open one of the drawers and find some old t-shirts and jeans of mine. I pick them up and head to the bathroom that is joined with the room. I disrobe myself as the water heats up and I step into the warm water.

About fifteen minutes later, I feel a little bit better as I pull on my jeans. I shut off the light and head back downstairs and find Ashlynn sitting on the couch, watching TV with Marty in her lap.

"You are going to spoil that dog." I chuckle as my bare feet meet the carpet.

"I know. He's probably going to loose all of hair because I've been petting him so much."

It gets quiet as I sit next to her. She sighs and I put my arm around her back, "What are you thinkin' about baby?" I ask.

She shrugs her shoulders and looks back down at Marty, "I don't know. A lot of stuff."

"Tell me."

She’s quiet for a minute, "Just how crazy this whole thing is." She laughs a little.

"It's going to be okay Ashlynn." I'm lying. I'm a horrible person.

She looks at me and shakes her head, "Why do you keep saying that?"

Please don't start this again, "Because it's the truth."

"Do you really understand what going on here?"

"Yes I do Ashlynn. Don't treat me like some kid, I understand perfectly what's going on."

"It's not making me feel any better so don't say it. I told you last night that I don't need a hero."

I stand up and walk back into the kitchen, "Please don't start this Ashlynn. I don't want to fight with you right now."

"I'm not trying to fight with you Justin." She says following me into the kitchen, "I just want you to know that you don't have to act all big and bad."

"I'm not trying to act all big and bad, I'm trying to be strong here."

"And I know that but-"

"But what?! What do you want me to do?! You want me to walk around saying, Oh well, I'm only being chased by my girlfriend’s crazy ass boyfriend. I only have to run out to a lake house so the bastard doesn't kill me. I can't do that Ashlynn!" It's becoming way too heated.

"That's not what I said Justin! Don't flip this around on me!"

"Don't flip this around on you? You're the only reason I'm in this bullshit! Do you know what I could be doing right now instead of running away with your ass? I could be fuckin' lying in my backyard, sipping on a margarita. But no, I can't even do that without constantly thinking about Tony. These last few months have been hell and the only reason they've been hell is because I'm with you. If I wasn't with you, I'd be happy as shit right now. You ARE the fuckin' reason that all this bullshit is happening so don't tell me not to flip all around on you. You're the only person to blame! I regret the damn day you ever came over to my house!"

Her eyes water as she stands there and stares at me. Her mouth hangs open in disbelief as the water in her eyes spills over and runs down her pretty face. I'm so fucking stupid, I didn’t mean those things. She turns on her heel and runs toward the back door. I take off after her and by the time I reach the patio, she's already halfway down the dock. I scream out her name as she jumps off and heads down the beach and toward the trees. I run down the dock and run after her but the tears are blurring my vision.

"Ashlynn wait! Ashlynn!"

She disappears into the trees and I try my best to keep up with her but she's gone. I stop and try to catch my breath and let out a sob, "Ashlynn!"

There's no answer though. The only thing I can hear is the water crashing up on the sand. I try to scream out her name again but my legs give out from under me and I fall to my knees. I've never cried so hard in my life. She's as good as dead as long as she's out here. His words echo through my mind again.

You had better watch her like a hawk or one day, she might not come home.

I just pray to God that he doesn't know where we are.

*****

She's been gone for six hours. I'm going out of my mind. I shouldn't have said those things. God, what is wrong with me? I run my hand over my face and that familiar stinging of the eyes comes back. There's no telling what could have happened to her. The sun is starting to set and for the millionth time, I walk over to the back door and look outside. My hopes of seeing her are dashed again. I throw on my shoes and head back outside to look for her again. I retrace our steps from earlier that day and walk through the trees that she disappeared into. Once I make it through the trees, I come to another lake house but nobody seems to be in. I walk up to the street and begin to walk back to Maggie's place so I can get the car and scale the neighborhood once more.

I run into the house, grab my keys and the dog and go back out to my car. The engine purrs to life and I back out of the driveway and drive slowly through the neighborhood. There's no sign of her, so I head out of the development and drive through the neighboring housing developments. I even drive into the middle of town and look in some of the restaurants and stores to try see if I can find her. Nothing. About an hour and a half later, I pull back into the driveway. I grab Marty and walk back into the house. I turn on the light in the kitchen, put Marty on the floor and throw my keys on the counter. I pick up the wireless phone off of the wall to call the police and hit the talk button but freeze when something is shoved into my back.

"Put the phone back and turn around slowly." I do as I'm told and turn around only to be facing Tony, "Happy to see me?" He asks smiling.

I just stare at him and then shift my eyes to the barrel of his gun, "What? Cat got your tongue? How are you doing Justy? Feeling pretty good?" He asks as he sits up on the counter.

He looks at me and then cocks his head to the side, "You're wondering how I found you right? You know that friend of yours, um... Kace or Stace..."

"Trace." I say swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Yeah, him. Well he wasn't home but I did talk to his little girlfriend for a while. She's cute."

The bile rises in my throat and I struggle to keep it from hitting the floor, "You okay there Justy? Don't worry, I didn't hurt her. It turned out the she didn't even know who I was so when I told her that I was looking for you guys, she gave up the information just like that." He snaps, "You know, you should be really careful when you tell people that you're on the run. And then you are stupid enough to give them the address. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now. Say, did you like the present I left for you guys in your kitchen?" He laughs.

"You're sick." I choke out.

"Yeah, I guess so. I contemplated killing your little mutt but he's so cute."

He jumps off the counter and walks up to me, "Listen, I don't have to hurt you okay? Just tell me where Ashlynn is and everything will be okay."

"Go fuck yourself."

He smiles, looks to the side and then back at me, "Go fuck myself huh? What did I tell you about being a smart ass?"

He connects the side of the gun to my face and I fall to the floor. I grab my face and spit out blood that has begun to collect in my mouth. He walks over to my position on the floor and kicks me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I cough violently and then throw up on the floor. When I'm done, Tony grabs by my hair and lifts my head up, "Don't be a prick okay? Tell me where the fuck she is."

I keep my mouth shut and another swift kick gets thrown into my stomach. He picks me up by the collar of my shirt and drags me into the living room where he shoves me forcefully onto the floor. He sighs loudly but another smirk comes to his face, "So you're going to endure all of this pain for that slut? There's not enough pussy in the world that would make me take a beating for a whore. Just save yourself the trouble. The sooner you tell me where she is, the sooner I'll be out of your life alright? Just tell me where she is."

I struggle to sit myself up on my elbows, "Kiss my ass." I say lowly.

Tony cocks the gun and points it directly into my face, "Don't be fucking stupid?! What the fuck is your problem white boy?! Do you want to die? Is that what you want because if it is, I can make it happen!"

"Tony!" a feminine voice screams out.

Tony turns around but keeps the gun on me, "Hey beautiful. Where have you been?"

"Don't hurt him Tony. He's got nothing to do with this okay? I'm here now so you can leave him alone." She says stepping toward us, keeping her eyes locked on Tony.

"He's sassing me Ash. He deserves it." He turns back to me and shoves the gun onto my forehead.

"No! Please Tony? Please." Ashlynn screams out.

Tony stares at me for a moment but the lowers the gun and walks over to Ashlynn and grabs her by the waist. He walks behind her and places the gun next to her temple, eliciting a scream from her. He kisses the side of her face softly, "Why are you hiding from me angel? Do you know how bad that hurts me?"

"I'm sorry." She whispers closing her eyes.

"What did you say?" He asks lifting her head up with his index finger.

"I said I'm sorry." She says a little louder.

He smiles, "I don't believe baby, because if you were sorry, you wouldn't have tried to get away from me in the first place. You know I'm gonna have to kill him Ashlynn."

Her eyes widen with fear as she locks her eyes on me, "Tony please-"

"Don't 'Tony please' me bitch! You're the one that got him involved, so you are going to have to deal with the consequences." He shoves her roughly away from him and she falls to the floor.

He begins to walk toward her and she scrambles away from him. She crawls toward me and I try to grab her wrist but Tony snatches her up before I can reach her. He throws her away from him and she falls to the floor again. He stands over her and a low chuckle erupts from his lips, "Just like old times huh baby?"

He kicks her in the stomach and she inhales sharply. I shut my eyes at the sight and jump when I hear his shoe come in contact with her small body again. She screams out in pain and the tears begin to slide down my cheeks. I can't help her. I open my eyes again and watch as she lies on the floor and clutches her stomach in her hands, while breathing and gasping harshly. I struggle to stand on my two feet, pain shoots through my chest and stomach. I try to step forward but stumble and catch myself on the side of the couch. Tony turns back to me and points the gun at my chest, "Sit down or I'll beat the fuck out this little whore."

"Don't touch her."

"Did you hear what I said?" He begins to scream, "Take one more step white boy and I swear to god, you'll never see her again."

I have to get to her so I try and take another step, "Fine, if that's the way you want, that's how I'll give to you." He says while grabbing Ashlynn up from the floor.

She's struggling to stand on her feet and he delivers a swift bow to the side of her face, knocking her backward onto the kitchen table. I wince at the sight but I build up my strength and charge at Tony. He starts to turn back to me when I tackle him to the floor and start to rustle with him for the gun. I knock it out of his hands and scramble to get it but he grabs me by my foot and pulls me back toward him. He punches me in the face and tries to do it again but I kick him in the chest. He falls back, allowing me time to grab the gun and stand to my feet. I watch him silently with the gun pointed in his face as he stands to his feet and licks the blood off of his bottom lip. He laughs again and rubs his hand across his mouth and looks over at Ashlynn still on the table. I glance over at her and turn my attention back to Tony, "Baby? Ashlynn, call the police." I say.

She doesn't move. I take my attention off of Tony for a second and look back over at her holding herself and rocking softly back and forth. Then I hear hurried footsteps and by time I turn back to Tony, he's punching me in the face again. The gun gets knocked out of my hands again as Tony begins to attack me, pushing me back on the floor and delivering blows to my face. I try to avoid his fists as I grab his throat and begin to choke him. He stops hitting me and tries to remove my death grip around his neck. I use what little strength I have left to roll us over, so that now he's on the bottom. I punch him a few times in the face but he over powers me again and rolls us back to our starting position, with me underneath him.

"I've gotta give it to you kid, you don't give up for shit do ya?" He says while breathing heavily, "Just quite while your ahead."

His hands latch onto my neck again and he tightens his grip ever so slowly. I flail my arms wildly against him but to no avail. I can feel the air leave my body, but not enter again. I'm gasping for air now. My movements start to slow and I can feel my eyes begin to roll to the back of my head when his grip tightens even more. My hands fall limp to the floor and my eyes begin to shut when I hear a soft voice in front of me.

______________________________

Ashlynn's P.O.V.

"Get off of him Tony." I say softly while raising the gun to his back.

He glances at me from the side and then releases Justin who coughs and struggles to get air back into his lungs. Tony stands up and turns slowly toward me and I take a few steps back, "What are you doing Ashlynn?" He asks calmly.

Tears rush down my beaten face and my hands are shaking violently, "Don't fuck with me Tony." I try to sound convincing.

He takes a step toward me, "You better be careful with that. One little slip up and you could hurt someone."

He steps toward me again and I take another step backwards, "Stay away from me, I mean it! I will shoot you dead if you take another step." I say keeping the gun positioned at his chest.

He stops and puts his hands in air, "Okay, okay, just calm down."

I look back over at Justin and he's propped himself against the back wall. His right eye is swollen shut already and his lip is busted. I can tell that's not in a coherent state and I look back at Tony, "You sick bastard. How could you do that to him?"

He looks back at Justin and then to me again, "He deserved it Ashlynn."

"No he didn't! He is a good man, something that you know nothing about." I scream as more tears run races down my face, "I'm not going to let you hurt us anymore Tony. I'm not going to let you do this to anyone ever again." I take a step toward him.

I can see fear run across his face, "Don't do anything stupid Ashlynn." He's scared.

"Now you know how I used to feel. Now you know what's it's like to be out of control. Goodbye Tony."

He starts to say something but my finger squeezes the trigger and the bullet escapes from the barrel and buries itself into Tony's chest. I fire off the gun again and send another bullet spiraling into his torso. He stumbles backward and then falls to the floor. He's movements cease and his chest stops rising and falling. I walk slowly over to his body and look into his eyes that are staring at the ceiling. I drop the gun and run over to the phone and dial 911. A few minutes later I hang up and rush to Justin's side. I throw myself on the floor and wrap him up in my arms and I begin to cry again. He groans and mumbles something into my chest but I can't make out his words. Marty peaks around the corner from his hiding spot and runs over to me. I pick him up and place him softly onto Justin's lap and return my hands around his upper body.

It's over now. My monster is finally gone.

Tony is dead.

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

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