Twenty-six. Twenty-six fucking years old and alone. Boy, am I’m a winner.
It’s 12:58 AM and I’m spending the start of my birthday on a bus somewhere between Toronto and Montreal. Granted, I chose to spend it on a bus but I didn’t think I’d be this God damned depressed. It’s like birthdays have suddenly become my wake-up call, screaming, “JUSTIN. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ALONE”. And that, my friend, is my worst fear.
I know, I’m being a pussy… but fuck, man. I’ve been in serious relationships for almost half my life and I’m still alone. You have to admit that something about that is fucked up, and that has me really fucked up. It’s got me thinking that maybe there’s something wrong with me. This shit has me thinking, am I too good of a boyfriend? Am I too clingy? Am I too serious? And Jesus, it even has me asking gay ass questions like, “Am I attractive”?
Alright. So maybe I did really want to know what Tanith thought; but that’s beside the point.
I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m just not meant to find “the one”. Maybe I’m just supposed to be in long-ass relationships that are destined to fail from the very beginning.
I feel the bus come to slow stop and a little relief swarms over me at the fact that I’ll be able to get some fresh air and stretch. As I swing my legs off the couch, I hear a knock on my door.
“Yeah?” The door creaks slightly open and I don’t move to get up.
“Happy Birthday, man,” Alan eases with a smile. My first birthday greeting came from my bus driver… can’t exactly call it conventional but to be honest, it does put me in better spirits and I can’t help but smile back.
“Thanks, Al. Did you stop just to greet me or can I actually get out and get some air?” I joke, standing up and readjusting my hoodie. Alan laughs and pushes the door open wider.
“Nah, you can go ahead. We’re just stopping for a few minutes to fill up.”
“Sounds good,” I nod, making my way past him. Before I can reach the middle of the bus, I hear the door slam open.
“JUSTIN!” The scream is harsh enough to make my eyes roll into the back of my head.
“Fuck, T… are you trying to blow out my eardrums?” My question is easily ignored as she charges towards me and sharply jabs her index finger into my chest.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” I want to laugh or make a joke or say something cocky but she looks really pissed. It’s cute and sexy as hell.
“I don’t know?” I question my answer.
“Justin,” she manages through gritted teeth while digging her finger deeper into my chest, “…why. didn’t. you. tell. me.”
“It’s not that big a deal, T,” I shrug. She opens her mouth to speak but quickly snaps it shut.
“Happy Birthday,” she lazily replies in a monotone voice. I grin as I look down at her finger still pressed into my chest.
“Thank you. This is possibly the best birthday greeting I’ve ever received.” I look up to see her fighting back a smile. My grin grows bigger as I lean in toward her until a full smile breaks out on her face. She slaps my chest with her hand and laughs.
“You’re an asshole.” She’s so charming.
“Really T, you really know how to make a person feel special on their birthday,” I squint at her. I expect her to throw another jab at me but am mildly surprised when I feel her arms slip around my waist and her head press into my chest. Now this is the kind of greeting I was waiting for.
“I could have gotten you something. I feel like an idiot for not even knowing in the first place.” I have to chuckle at her mumbled words as I wrap my arms around her.
“Knowing you I’m sure you would have just gotten me a blow-up doll or something. So I’m good without the present.” She pulls back and I look down at her shocked face. I roll my eyes and hug her even tighter.
“You know I’m just kidding.”
“Actually, that face wasn’t because I was offended. It was out of shock. It’s like you can read my mind!”
“You’re an asshole,” I laugh lightly. As we stay embraced, I can’t help but notice how good it feels to hold her. To my displeasure, Tanith pulls away just in time for me to see Caylee bouncing in.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” she all but shrieks. Good grief, the women on this tour really need to learn how to contain their fucking voices. It’s bad enough I have to endure two and half hours worth of screaming and shrieking almost every night.
“Thanks, Cay,” I smile at her, leaning down to giver her a quick hug. Pulling away, she turns to face Tanith and turns back to me.
“Oh honey, you're going to feel like such an idiot,” she simply states while shaking her head and patting me on the cheek before turning on her heel and leaving just as quickly as she came.
Confused, I look to Tanith for some sort of explanation and she has her arms crossed over her chest with a half smirk on her lips. Without saying a word, she moves towards the front of the bus and hops down the stairs, me in tow. The feeling of fresh air is liberating and any previous thoughts I had melt away as I close my eyes and take a deep breath to inhale it. When I open my eyes, I realize that I’m alone again. My vision shifts to the right and I see Tanith laughing over something one of the dancers said and I smile at distant sound. Before I can make my way over to her, I feel a pair of hands cover my eyes and my first instinct is to scream for help. But a voice soon makes its way into my ear and the initial panic I felt immediately translates into annoyance.
“Guess who,” she whispers and I fight back the urge to shrug her off. I sigh as I bring my hands up to the ones covering my eyes and pull them off my face.
“Hi, Morgan,” I manage as she moves to stand in front of me. Taking note of her pretty scandalous outfit and the smile playing on her lips, it looks like she still hasn’t gotten the message that I’m no longer interested.
“Looks like the Birthday Boy’s in a bad mood,” she teases, placing hand on my arm “… anything I can do to help?”
Now my Momma raised me right and taught me to never demean women but Jesus, this girl is a fucking slut. Seriously, does she not have a clue as to how ridiculous she looks? How the hell did I ever sleep with this chick? Fuck, this is not something I need to deal with right now.
“Naw, I’m just tired,” I respond, moving my gaze back to Tanith and the other dancers who have now taken some kind of interest in the bugs stuck to the front bumper of the bus. I make a face of disgust but am quickly snapped back to attention when Morgan’s hands start to wander down my body. I step back and swiftly push her hands away from me.
Alright. This shit has gone on long enough.
“What the fuck are you doing, Morgan?” I ask in a tone more aggressive than I had intended. She cocks her head to the side and gives me a bored look, placing her hands on her hips.
“You know what I’m doing, Justin. It’s the same thing I was doing on your last tour,” she raises her eyebrows. She takes a step toward me and places her hands on my chest before lowering her voice. “And last time I checked, you liked it. A lot.”
“Yeah, well you fucking need to check again because clearly you got the wrong message the first time,” I step back, harshly pushing her hands off of me again. Before she can utter any more words, I stalk off towards the other dancers. I’m pretty sure she’s going to be pissed at me for that, but I just cannot stand there while she’s practically sexing me up and shit; and against my will, may I add. I should sue her ass for sexual assault or something. I’m sure that’ll send her the fucking message loud and clear.
“Hey, you ok?” I hear Tanith ask. Fuck, I’m so blind with anger and frustration and disgust that I can’t even muster up actual words and just shake my head as I shove my hands into the pockets of my hoodie. So much for being in a better mood.
Tanith doesn’t ask any questions but just purses her lips and nods. She links her arm through mine and leads me away from the crowd and towards the curb of the gas station. I’m forced to take seat on the cold cement as Tanith chooses to sit down. She releases my arm to wrap hers around her legs that are pulled up against her chest as I rest my arms over my bent knees after flipping the hood of my sweater up.
“Just so you know, she’s been talking about fucking you all day,” I hear Tanith blatantly state. I slowly roll my neck to face her.
“That’s not really helping, T.”
“Who said I was trying to help? I said, ‘Just so you know’. It wasn’t meant to make you feel better,” she smartly argues. I’m beginning to wonder if she really just says shit like that to piss me off.
“God, this day has barely started and I already want it to be over,” I groan, hanging my head between my bent legs in hopes to relieve some of the tension in my neck.
“Aw, c’mon J… it’s your birthday,” she chirps while lightly nudging my body with her significantly smaller one. “What’re you gonna wish for?”
I laugh quietly and throw my head up to the sky. Truth be told, I have no fucking clue what to wish for this year. Come to think of it, I probably haven’t made a birthday wish since I was 14. So instead, I take the easy way out.
“If I tell you, it won’t come true.”
“Fine,” she scoffs and runs a hand through her hair. “If you won’t tell me your wish then I’ll tell you mine.”
My stomach drops at her words and I stare silently at her. I expect her to break out in laughter any second but as she raises her eyebrows, my hopes of not feeling like a complete moron go right out the window. Fuck, I had no idea it was her birthday.
“It’s your birthday?” I ease out carefully. A small smiles spreads over face as she nods.
“Surprise!” she peeps out in a singsong voice. “We have the same birthday. Kinda neat, huh?”
I ignore her optimism and turn my body so I can fully face her. The words leave my mouth before I can stop them.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She laughs and smiles snidely.
“Oh! Well, well, well… looks like the tables have turned! What happened to, ‘it’s not that a big deal, T’?” she mocks, lowering her voice to imitate me but it comes out more like some old biker guy named, Razor or Butch.
“First of all, I don’t sound like that,” I push back at her. “And second of all, as your employer, I feel like it was pretty shitty of me to not have known.”
As much as I hate to admit it, I now understand why she was so upset earlier about me not telling her it was birthday. It’s like, when you don’t know it’s someone’s birthday, your chances of doing anything special is shot to hell. You don’t get the chance to be the first one to wish them a happy birthday and you don’t get the chance to be the one who gives the best present. And now that I think about it, I really would have liked to do something special for Tanith. At least some flowers or something.
“Justin, its fine. So I'm 25, big whoop,” she rolls her eyes.
Before I can protest any more, I hear Al’s voice calling for us to get back on the buses. Tanith is quick to get up, brushing her hands on the back of her sweatpants once she’s standing and I follow in her suit. We walk in silence back to the buses and upon reaching mine, I stop her before she can go any further.
“Happy Birthday, T.”
“Thank you,” she smiles brightly. For a quick second, I wonder if I should ask her to ride with me but decide against it. I really need to clear my fucking head and I don’t want to bring all my negative shit on her on her birthday. I figure I’ll be miserable enough for the both of us. She turns to start walking towards the dancers bus and as she reaches the door, I call out to her.
“Hey T, you never told me what you were gonna wish for!” She grins and takes a step to get on the bus.
“I wish that you wish for the same thing I wish for,” she yells before disappearing into the bus. It takes me a second to process what she said and I feel a smile tugging at the corner of my lips once it clicks.
Damn, that girl is something else.
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
