JC had taken Logan to see his doctor or so the note said when I saw it on the whiteboard attached to the fridge.

I bit my lip, the whole thing seemed simple enough to do. It was than I was faced with the decision of my memory or the baby growing inside of me. I’m sure JC would probably chose my memory because what he had said earlier. I would too and I did till I found out the out come of the babies life.

I had always been neutral on the whole abortion factor knowing that I would never hate or love someone for their choice on it alone. It was their body, their baby. their circumstance to choose what was right or wrong. Not mine, but now I didn’t know what to think. Sure I doubt it wasn’t technically considered abortion if it was in the health of the parent involved to take something that would in the end kill the pregnancy but I couldn’t help feeling like I was sitting on a pointed fence and no which way I sat was comfortable enough to stay put with.

I had read up on the information my doctor had printed me about my “disease”, and yea it was weird to say I had one too. They said it was a mutation of Alzheimer’s and Amnesia, that fixed upon the memory sometimes it worked out on its own, sometimes it grew to become like full blown Alzheimer’s till you couldn’t function at all.

My doctor had said that mine was a mild case, since I was remembering things now and remembered the night before I had forgot everything. Though he said the likely hood of me coming through this on my own was unlikely.

Biting my lip I knew what was the right choice and I knew that in the end I would regret loosing my child but I would regret my self and I was beginning to think JC would regret me too if I didn’t go through with this.

What had caught my eye was the factor that most of the information of the baby and taking the medicine and been 50% true in some causes and 70 or more in others. There hadn’t been a case where the child had been born and survived, there had been at least a couple where they child was born a dead, or born and dead within its first week on earth.

I didn’t know if it would be better to just go ahead and do an abortion and than go on medicine. Though I think at this point I’d rather not have that on my conscience as well as not knowing damn shit about my life too.

--

Later that night after taking care of Logan and finally getting him to take his medicine after fighting with him on it I sat on the couch and stared at the blank TV screen till I hear JC clear his throat.

“Hey,” I said looking down at my lap.

“Hey,” he mimicked me as he sat down next to me and to a breath.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened today, you seem kind of quite,” he said.

“Well they baby’s healthy and um, I found out about the other test I took you know about memory loss thing,” I said and watched him nodded.

“They said its like a mutated version of Alzheimer’s’ and Amnesia,” I said making him turn to look at me.

“Your gonna get worse,” he questioned with big eyes looking at me.

I shook my head.

“I have a mild case,” I said as I began to play with my fingers.

“There’s something your not telling me,” JC said making me look up at him.

I watched his face look at mine trying to sort out an answer with out me telling him.

“Well first, its curable,” I said and saw him smile a bit till he registered what I said.

“But,” he questioned.

“Its more than likely that little Chasez number two wont make it,” I said softly.

“Baby,” Jc said pulling me to him.

“Jace, I just I want to be back, I want you to have me back I hate what I did making you think you lost me,” I started to rant till he placed his finger on my lips.

“You think that I hate you because of this,” he asked.

My face made an I don’t know yea look as I shrugged.

“Honey, we married remember for better for worse for memory loss or not your stuck with me till you die,” he said making me chuckle at the way he said the last part.

“Really,” I questioned, and felt him nodded his head as it leaned against my forehead.

“Yes, and I know this is hard for you and I don’t want to tell you to choose to give up another child because I’d love to have another kid, and there is part of pregnancy that women go through with having a kid that I will never understand but you do,” he said looking at me in the eye.

“Even if you lose me,” I asked.

“Baby, your still here a little confused and bruised right now but memories are all around us and I’d rather make new ones with you and be sure their here to stay till when were old an gray than have this get worse later on and loose you entirely,” JC told me place his hands on my cheeks.

I smiled.

“I’ll make an appointment next week to start the medicine,” I said.

JC nodded, “That’s my girl, now lets go to bed.”

I let him pull me up off the couch as he pulled me by the hand and turned off the lights as we made our way up stairs ad to bed for the night.