All the dancers on this tour are amazing. Honestly, I didn’t think they would be. It’s like a big summer camp on the road; I don’t want this whole thing to end. And to think I didn’t even want to come.
We all sat down in the catering area eating lunch and fooling around. Justin walked in and sat down with us, stuffing his face before he even sat down. All of a sudden everyone got quiet. I looked around to see what was going on and everyone was looking towards the door where two girls walked in. I looked around to see everyone’s reaction and people looked worried; I wish I knew what was going on.
“Why’s everyone quiet?” I whispered to Justin.
He shrugged, “No idea Dallas, dude let me get the salt.” He didn’t whisper at all, I think he spoke at a normal volume but no one else was talking so it sounded like he screamed, and everyone looked at him like he did.
People started whispering and then suddenly everyone was back to
talking like normal, “What happened to the opening act?” somebody asked.
Justin ignored them and continued buttering his bread, “Huh?”
“Those guys that opened, what happened to them?”
“Oh, they’re gone.”
“Why?” ten people must have asked at the same time, ten people including me.
Justin shrugged again before taking a bite out of his bread and waiting to chew it before answering them, “They had some scheduling conflicts,” he answered before changing the subject, “Marty can you reach the butter? Let me get another one?”
Marty threw a pack of butter at him and then let a chuckle escape. A few people started laughing, mostly the guys. I feel out of the loop completely.
“Are they gone for the rest of the tour?” Marty asked.
“I guess,” Justin answered, “Let’s move on.”
Even Rachael laughed this time, Justin looked pissed off and I still have no idea what’s going on. “What’s so funny? I don’t get it.” Now everyone is laughing, “Apparently I’m out of the loop.”
“We’re all out of the fucking loop,” Justin stood up and grabbed his plate before walking out of the room.
“Now you’ve done it,” Marty laughed, why is everyone laughing?
“Seriously guys, what’s so funny?”
“Your little click doesn’t get it,” someone answered. I couldn’t tell who it was because everyone is laughing so loud. I feel like I’m the punch line of some joke and I’m not really into that. And what’s up with that little click shit? What are they inferring?
“OK then,” I finished my lunch and stood up. I think I just changed my mind and I don’t like them all very much. It’s kind of like high school all over again.
There are so many fucking clicks on this tour it’s overwhelming. The dancers form this fucking group you can’t get into and they think they know everything. I’m moving on. I hung out in my green room until the show so I didn’t have to deal with everyone. It’s usually at this point of the tour that I get so fucking sick of everyone on the tour. I’ll be over it I a day or so but for now I need to be alone.
After the show I was feeling better. It usually works that way. It’s really difficult to be angry after being on stage in front of thousands. The high is impossible to hide. I walked out of the room, making my way to the bus when I met up with the dancers. “What up Dallas?”
“You tripped me, I’m not talking to you.”
I laughed, “I did not trip you, you were in my fucking way.”
“So you just bang into me? Why didn’t you just knock me off the stage?”
“I should have, good idea. Next time I’ll feed you to the lions.”
Dallas laughed and rolled her eyes. I ignored the fact that there are three dancers in front of us walking slowly so they can hear everything. We’re back to middle school.
“I got Cloverfield,” she nodded her head, I didn’t win her over yet, “and Doritos.”
“What kind?”
“Buffalo.”
Her lips curled into a smile, “OK.”
“OK what?”
“I’ll watch it with you.”
“What makes you think you’re invited to watch it with me?” I asked.
“OK, fine then. I’ll go sleep.”
I laughed and grabbed onto her arm as we walked to the buses, dragging her onto my bus. She sat down on my bed and I threw the bag of Doritos at her. “What’s going on Dallas?” she’s in her own world, just looking at the television, phased out completely.
“Huh?”
“What’s going on?”
“Do you just feel like we’re the butt of every joke on this tour?”
I laughed before falling on the bed, “Everyone always talks shit. Touring is like summer camp.”
“I guess…”
“Who is talking shit?”
She laughed, “Who isn’t?”
I nodded my head, she’s obviously not enjoying the ridicule, not that I am but I can deal with it. “I’ll talk to them.”
“Yeah, that’ll be good,” she answered sarcastically, “You could fire them.”
‘That works,” I grabbed a handful of chips.
Dallas took a deep breath, “So… what happened with Jess?”
I shrugged, “She’s cool.” I don’t really want to get into it right now, especially not with her.
“OK… are you going to put in the movie?”
“Yeah,” I stood up and quickly put it on to end the awkwardness. We watched the movie. The movie is about a monster attack in New York City so obviously people are going to die. It’s not a good monster; it’s a bad one, the kind that kills people. I feel like I’m stating the obvious but to some other people it’s not so obvious.
I looked over at Dallas and saw she was crying. Someone just died and she’s crying because the monster attacked him. “Are you seriously crying?” I laughed.
“No,” she wiped her eyes so I wouldn’t see even though it was too late.
“Dallas you’re crying in a horror movie.”
“It’s sad, they were like best friends.”
“Did you not think anyone would die?”
“OK, shut up and watch the movie.”
I am a fucking emotional wreck. I don’t know why I’m crying, especially while sitting on Justin’s bus. I don’t cry, well like I don’t cry a lot. And I sure as hell don’t cry in front of people.
I’m lucky Justin’s an idiot and thinks that I’m actually crying about a horror movie. He’s been breaking into random fits of hysterical laughter throughout the whole movie, “Who cries in a horror movie?”
“It’s sad,” I figured I’d play along so he doesn’t ask the real reason why I’m crying, especially since I don’t know what the real reason is.
“People die Dallas, it happens.”
“Can you just drop it?”
He did drop it, or at least he didn’t talk about it anymore. He did continue to break into random fits of laughter throughout the movie. It could be because the movie was stupid, although I doubt it. I couldn’t tell you what the movie was about. I wasn’t really watching it.
When the movie was over Justin was talking about something, I wasn’t listening, “Are you alright Dallas?”
“Why?”
“You look fucked,” he laughed.
“Thanks, that’s sweet.”
“Who’s talking shit?”
“No one, that’s not bothering me. I’m just homesick and stuff,” I lied.
“You just saw your fucking family. Fly them out,” he suggested.
I nodded my head, “Yeah, maybe.”
Justin’s phone rang and he grabbed it from his pocket before checking the caller id, “it’s Jess.”
“Go ahead, want me to go up front?”
“Nah, I won’t be long,” he stood up and walked to the front of the bus, closing the door behind himself.
I took a deep breath and fell on my back. I’ve never been more fucking confused in my life. It’s a little ridiculous for me to have this little schoolgirl crush on him. Especially since he’s dating someone else, if he is dating someone else. Once again, I’m confused. What I don’t understand is why he got rid of the opening act. Or why everyone on the tour seems to think something is going on between us. And so do my parents… and like everyone else. Ugh.
I turned the light off and tried to go to sleep. Obviously I couldn’t sleep; I had too many thoughts going through my head. Justin came back in a few minutes later and climbed into the bed, “You’re going to sleep?”
“I’m tired,” I answered, “You can turn the light on if you want.”
“Nah, I’m tired too. Sorry about that Dallas.”
“It’s ok,” I was quiet for a few seconds before speaking again, “So are you guys like… dating?”
“Yeah… I guess,” he answered softly.
I nodded my head even though he couldn’t see me. “Why did you get rid of the opening act?”
“What are you talking about?” Justin asked quickly.
“Why aren’t they on the tour anymore?”
“ I told you, they had scheduling conflicts.”
I nodded my head again. “That’s it?”
“What do you mean that’s it?”
“I don’t know, I mean, that’s the only reason why they’re not here? They had scheduling conflicts?”
“Yeah,” Justin answered softly.
“What kind of scheduling conflicts?”
“I don’t know Dallas, they had something else to fucking do. What do you want from me?” he shouted.
“Alright relax, you don’t have to get so pissed.”
He took a deep breath and turned his back towards me. I wish we weren’t on a moving bus because I would have left. “I don’t know what happened,” he answered calmly, “They just called me and said the guys are gone and we got the new girls. That’s it.”
“You don’t know why?”
“Nope.”
“No idea?”
“No Dallas, what makes you think they tell me shit? I’m not going to ask questions the guys were douchebags.”
“Why?” I asked the question.
“Why what?”
“Why didn’t you like them?”
He laughed at my question, “Are you fucking serious? Want me to list the reasons?”
“Well you could give me a couple.”
Justin took another deep breath, “They’re the kind of guys that get into music for all the wrong reasons.”
“You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”
He sighed before turning the light on and turning around so he was facing me, “Most people get into music for the wrong reason. There’s a few us that get into it for the music, for the love of music. I’m in music because it’s my life. I couldn’t do anything else. They’re in music for free drinks and groupies.”
“You don’t know that.”
Justin laughed, “Trust me Dallas, I know.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’ve been around it my whole fucking life,” now he’s getting angry again, “Most people are like that, I’ve been around it forever. Trust me Dallas.”
“Everyone except you right?”
He clenched his teeth together and I realized quickly I said the wrong thing, “I didn’t say that. You’re in a fucking pissy mood huh?”
“Me?” I laughed, “I’m just asking questions.”
“Yeah, great, my turn. Why are you so concerned about them?”
“I’m not. I’m just wondering why they left.”
“And I told you, so why are we still on it?”
I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry, “Relax, I asked a question.”
“So did I, you’re the one freaking out now. I just don’t understand why you care so much about a couple assholes who tried to get you drunk so they could get in your pants. Unless you’re into that, in which case I apologize for ruining your night.”
And I’m done. Who the fuck does he think he is? I reached over to turn the light off. “Good night Justin.”
“Yeah, good night.”
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