The tour started on January 5th. We had a week off to go home for Christmas and New Years and met up January 2nd for three days of practice before the big thing. I thought everyone was nervous before but damn; it’s like such a weird vibe around here. Everyone is always freaked out. You would think they’d get used to it, we’ve been touring for a few days, but still it’s like walking on eggshells here. I wasn’t that nervous until the first show when I could hear kids screaming since noon that day.
Touring life is kind of fun. I mean, I’m all for sleeping all day and being up all night. All the parties are going to kick my ass though. There’s not that many parties, but it’s more than I’m used to, that’s for sure.
Today is our first day off since the tour started. And what do we do when we have a day off? Go golfing of course. Honestly, I would rather just hang out at the hotel but Justin has different plans for me.
Justin is trying to get his mother into golf and it just so happens that she’s not really into it. She’s trying I guess, but according to Justin she just doesn’t think it’s a sport for girls and she’d rather go shopping. Personally, I would rather go shopping today. It’s not that I don’t like golfing, obviously I do, but it’s a cold January day in Phoenix and it’s more of a shopping day. However, Justin has different plans and when the superstar wants something the superstar gets it.
“Good morning darling,” Justin’s mother gave me a hug. I just smiled because it’s too early for me to talk, especially since I didn’t get back to the hotel until one at the earliest last night. I need more than five hours of sleep to function. She looks cute in her plaid capri pants and polo shirt. There’s something about this family wearing plaid on the golf course. Someone should really tell them it’s not a rule.
Justin came down to the lobby smiling wearing his plaid pants and carrying a tray of coffee. “What’s up ladies?” he smiled. I don’t understand how he’s wide-awake. He’s always wide-awake even when he only gets an hour of sleep. He’s like a robot or something that doesn’t need sleep. I gave him a look and he laughed, handing me a cup of tea. “Morning Dallas.”
“Thank you Justin,” I took a sip of the green tea, hopefully it’s extra caffeinated.
“I got the Cranberry orange muffin for my mom, but you can have anything else, I didn’t know what you wanted,” he handed me a bag.
“So you bought the whole store?” I looked through the bag and grabbed a cinnamon scone.
“Yeah,” he laughed, “What’d you get so I know next time?”
“Cinnamon scone, you’re going to remember that?” I asked with a smile.
“Sure,” he laughed. There’s no way.
“He has an amazing memory.”
“We’ll see about that,” I smiled as I got in the backseat of the car.
I kind of love Justin’s mother. I think everyone does, she’s not really the kind of person anyone could dislike. She reminds me a lot of my mother. That helps a lot because I will admit I’m getting a little homesick already. Not really homesick, I mean I just saw my family a few weeks ago, but I do wish I could see them more. Oh well, moving on. Her accent reminds me of my mother, even though it’s really different, they still say some things the same.
“We got some,” Justin said as we started to play.
“Some what?” I looked around to see what he’s looking at but got nothing.
“Always,” his mother said as she shook her head.
“Some what?” I repeated.
“Assholes following us around,” he pointed.
Oh, look at that, there are really three grown men hiding behind trees and in bushes with cameras with huge lenses. I could see where that would be annoying. And we’re not even in LA you expect it there. But in Phoenix Arizona one would think the kid could golf in peace.
“I feel like we’re some endangered species that they’ve never seen before and have to sneak up and take pictures so they don’t disturb us from our natural habitat.”
Justin laughed as he practiced his swing, “Like Bigfoot?”
“Exactly. You should do a cartwheel or something, give them something to talk about.”
“Then it’s in every magazine that I’ve gone crazy doing cartwheels on the golf course.”
“It’d be worth it though,” I smiled.
“Oh yeah,” he answered sarcastically, “Alright Ma, you’re up first.”
“Why do you make her go first when she doesn’t know how to play? I’ll go first.”
Justin laughed after I took a shot, “That is why I wanted her to go first.”
“Why?” I don’t get it.
“She can’t do that.”
I laughed, “Neither can you.”
“That’s why I wanted you to go last,” he said with a smile.
“Well sorry,” I walked over to his mother who looked like she had no idea what she was doing, “Just make sure that you get the bottom of your swing at the front of the ball. That way you’ll hit the ball and not the grass. Just swing it and go for it, and if you hit it in that spot,” I picked up the ball and pointed, “See, there, then you’re golden.”
She nodded her head, “That’s a lot easier said than done Veda,” she answered with a laugh.
“Yeah, but practice makes perfect.”
“Just hit the shit out of it Ma.”
“It’s all mental too, that’s your son’s problem but he doesn’t want to talk about it,” I smiled and she laughed.
“What’s my problem?” he asked stepping away from where he was practicing his swing.
“The mental aspect, you’re always worrying about how bad I’m going to kick your ass.”
“Funny Dallas, adorable. I have a good pre-shot routine. You don’t even have one.”
“Yes I do.”
“What is it then?”
“I can’t give away my secrets,” I smiled, “It just doesn’t take me twenty minutes and I don’t psych myself out even more when I do it like you do.”
“I like her,” my mother said as we went back to the room after golf and lunch.
I looked at my mother’s smiling face and nodded my head as I opened the door, “yeah, she’s cool.”
“No, I really like her Justin. She’s beautiful and she’s funny, and she’s smart and she knows all about golf and you love golf,”
“All right Ma,” here we go.
“And you two just have this chemistry, there’s no denying it Justin.”
“Alright Ma, don’t play matchmaker.”
“I’m not, I just think she’s adorable. Don’t you like her Justin?”
“Yeah, of course I like her or she wouldn’t be here. I just don’t need you to set me up with anyone.”
“Then do it yourself.”
I laughed and shook my head, there is just something about my mother that she is always on the lookout to find me the perfect girl. I don’t know if it’s just a mom thing, but damn. Not all mothers are as bad as she is. “I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m trying to focus on a world tour, would you give me a break?”
“I’m just saying…”
“I know what you’re just saying Ma, let it go.” I fell on the bed and grabbed the remote. It’s really weird for me to get a whole day off with absolutely nothing to do. I could get used to it. Especially if there’s a nap involved.
I only slept for about an hour but I woke up ready to do something. My mother’s gone; back in her room I would think. I’m going to go find Dallas. I’m bored already.
After banging on her door for a good two minutes I figured she wasn’t there. I tried calling her phone and I could hear it ringing in the room. Good job Dallas. I guess I’ll just go for a swim on my own.
When I got to the pool I noticed she was lying out in the sun with a magazine on her stomach, laughing hysterically with my cousin Rachael. “What’s up?” I asked as I laid down on the lounge next to Dallas.
“Where were you? Sleeping?”
I nodded my head and she laughed, “Are you guys going swimming?”
“I want to, are you going? Rachael won’t go with me.”
“It’s freezing,” Rachael laughed as she opened up her magazine.
“It’s not that bad in the sun,” Dallas said as she stood up, “You’re coming?”
I nodded my head and pulled of my shirt, watching her standing there in front of me fixing her bikini. She has such an amazing body, but I need to straighten my shit. I mean, I usually fall for the girls that wear the skimpy bathing suits. She’s wearing a bikini but it has to be the bikini that covers up more than any other bikini ever did. But she still makes it look so damn sexy. I’m not falling for her; I’m just getting distracted.
“Are you having fun yet?”
She laughed, “I am.”
“Good. Dude, don’t you think Zoë looks like Brad from Hey Dude?”
Dallas looked at me for a second and laughed, “You think Zoë looks like a man?”
“No, Brad was the girl. The girl that looks like Zoë, you didn’t watch that show?”
“Yes I did, that was my favorite show. I just haven’t seen in since I was ten.”
“I know, I need to find that. She looks like she could be Brad’s sister.”
“Alright.”
I laughed and splashed water in her face, “She does.”
“I said ok, god. I used to love that show.”
“No lie, I saw Mel once at a red carpet and freaked the fuck out,” I can’t believe I just said that out loud. “She had no idea what I was talking about when I called her Mel.”
Dallas laughed, “Isn’t she married to Ben Stiller?” I nodded my head, “Good move Justin. Did you watch Pete and Pete?”
“Oh yeah, Alex Mack?”
“Oh my gosh, I miss that shit.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. There’s no good TV anymore.”
She nodded her head before going underwater. “I’m craving chocolate cake,” she laughed, “My birthday’s coming up so I’m like all ready for my mom’s cake.”
“When’s your birthday?”
“The 31st.”
“Oh, are you fucking serious?” I threw my head back that sucks.
“Yes, what’s wrong with that?” she asked with a smile.
“The 31st of January?” she nodded her head, “That’s my birthday.”
Dallas laughed, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I’m serious. What the hell? I don’t want to share my birthday.”
“I don’t want to share my birthday. What are you ten?”
“Yeah, it’s my fucking day.”
She thinks I’m kidding; I’m not really kidding. I mean, I’ll get over it, I just like the idea of having a day that’s my day and I can use that as an excuse for everything. Now I can’t.
Dallas laughed and rolled her eyes, “Well it’s my fucking day too, don’t ruin it.”
“I’m not going to ruin it, I just…”
“Justin really, get over it.”
“I’m over it.”
“It sure looks like you are,” she answered with a sarcastic smile, “Don’t worry, I’ll let you have a piece of my cake.”
“What if you celebrate yours on February 1st?”
“Oh my god!” she got out of the water and I followed her closely, “You’re not serious. Please tell me you’re not serious.”
“I’m just saying we have a show on my birthday.”
“We have a show on OUR birthday. And we have one of the first too.”
“OK, how about the 30th?”
“You’re ridiculous Justin. Learn to share.”
“I share stuff.”
“Oh, I know,” she wrapped herself in a towel, “Did your mother have fun golfing?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“Justin, I am not changing my birthday so you don’t have to share. Let it go. Did she have fun?”
“Yeah,” I nodded my head and wrapped myself in a towel and sat down where Rachael was sitting before she left. “She would have rather gone shopping.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t push it on her so much. You’re going to be that dad that makes his kids play basketball and soccer and learn the trumpet and piano and dance class.”
“No I’m not.” What’s that supposed to mean?
“You totally are,” she laughed. She gets that laugh that makes me want to get away from her. I know before I’ve said she has that contagious laugh that you just can’t help yourself. That’s just one of her laughs. The other one is the obnoxious laugh. She’s giving me that one now.
“I totally am,” I mimicked, “What are you doing tonight?”
Dallas shrugged and smiled, “What do you have in mind?”
“Want to get trashed?”
She laughed; the good laugh not the obnoxious one, “Yes alcoholic, I do.”
“Perfect alcoholic, take a shower then come to my room, I got the goods. We’ll get room service and hit up the Jack.”
“Your mother must me so proud of you,” she answered sarcastically. She’s always sarcastic, I’m not complaining, I’m sarcastic most of the time too but she takes it to another level.
“What? I don’t have anything tomorrow until the show. I need to let loose, I haven’t let loose since we started.”
“Alright then Justin, let loose. I’ll be there in like an hour?”
“Yeah, don’t keep me waiting Dallas, I got shit to do.”
“Oh yeah I bet,” she rolled her eyes before going into her room.
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