When I woke up I couldn’t even reach over to turn off the alarm. I am so fucking tired. I wish I could say I was out last night until 4am living it up, partying and drinking. The truth is I was in bed by 11. I had a busy day. No, I didn’t have a busy day, the truth is I woke up late, got breakfast, went to play golf then came back to the hotel and hung out by the pool for the rest of the day. I’m getting old.
I am getting old. I’m 27 today. 27. Fuck.
I think I’ve been up every year when the clock struck midnight to welcome my birthday since I was seven. Now I’m twenty-seven and I’m in bed by eleven. After you reach a certain point birthdays are depressing. Every year my birthday makes me think. If I’m in a relationship I wonder if she’s “the one”. If I’m not in a relationship I start planning my life alone with cats until I die.
I don’t have too much to complain about this year. I’d feel like an asshole complaining about my life. I’m on a sold out world tour, I’ve sold millions of records; I have a great family and great friends.
A part of me does wish I had someone to share it all with. I know I’m sharing it with plenty of people but it’s not the same. It’d be nice to have that one girl that’s mine that I don’t have to share with anyone. One girl that has my back no matter what and I have hers.
Thinking about this shit gets me depressed. I always have to worry about that shit every birthday, it never fails. I need to look on the bright side; it’s my birthday so I get my mom’s death by chocolate cake.
I feel very well rested. I guess that’s what happens when you’re busy dancing on stage for two hours every night but then there’s a night off. Oh what a magical night off it was. It was the best day ever. We haven’t had a day off in awhile so I was very excited to do absolutely nothing. Happy birthday to me. Although I did have to go to the shooting range with Justin so I guess that's not absolutely nothing. It was fun though so I'm not complaining.
It is my birthday. I’m not too big on birthdays, I mean after you reach 21 there’s really nothing to celebrate. Now I’m 24, that’s a boring age. At least next year I get to rent a car. Whoopee!
I have to share my birthday now with the superstar. That sucks that we have the same birthday. I was so mad in second grade when Jennifer Lewis moved to the neighborhood and we had the same birthday so we both brought in cupcakes and it wasn’t even special.
I’m over that now though. I know it doesn’t seem like it but I am.
“Happy birthday!” I heard as I walked through the venue trying to make it to the catering area.
“Thank you” I smiled. It’s strange that everyone knows my birthday, even though I know they only know because it’s also Justin’s birthday.
“Dallas,” I heard being sung across the hallway and I turned around to see Justin walking towards me.
“Happy Birthday!” I yelled.
“Happy birthday, come here” he said as he stretched his arms behind his head and cracked his knuckles, “Come get your birthday punches.”
“Are you sure you want to do that? You are three years older than me buddy. That’s three more punches,” I asked as I rubbed my hands together getting ready.
“I’m not scared,” he grabbed onto me, “I go first,” he pulled his arm back and formed a fist like he was going to punch the shit out of me. “One,” he said as he hardly tapped my arm then pulled back again, “Two.”
“That’s it?”
“I’m just getting started Dallas. Two at a time, that’s four” he punched me again, “One on the side, left and right,”
I laughed as he hardly even touched me, “I’m going to make you cry.”
“I bet you are. What am I on?”
“I’m not telling you, if you loose track it’s over.”
“If I loose track I get to start over,” he answered with a smile.
“That’s so not how it works.”
“Oh it’s so not how it works huh?” he mimicked with a laugh; “Eleven, twelve” he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me down while he continued giving me the birthday punches.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he laughed, “You’re turn. I’m ready.”
“No, I’m doing the sneak attack. You won’t know when”
“The sneak attack… ooohhh I’m shaking in my boots”
“Good, that’s the point.”
“Alright old lady.”
“OK, older man.” I smiled, “Can I split them up?”
“What?”
“The punches. Can I do a couple now and a couple later or do I have to do them all at one time. Let’s set the rules.”
“No you can not split them up,” he crossed his arms, “You’re a fucking cheater.”
“I am not, I asked the question. I want to get the rules straight because I know you’ll start shit.”
“Yeah I’ll start shit if you’re going to split them up. Obviously that’s not how you play or I would have split them up.”
“Alright then, fine. Relax,” he’s so competitive with everything. I am too but I’m not that bad.
I can’t believe she really is trying to say that she can split up the birthday punches. Who ever heard of that? She’s so damn competitive.
“Veda this package came for you,” one of the stage hands handed her a box, “Happy birthday guys.”
“Thanks man,” I said as Veda quickly opened the box.
“Thank you Steve,” she continued ripping the tape off the package and let out a squeal when she finally opened it, “It’s my mom’s chocolate cake. So good. Want to try it? It’s the best cake in the world.”
“I don’t know my mom makes the best chocolate cake.”
“Please,” she laughed, “I love your mom and everything, she’s great but there is no way her cake is better than my moms.”
“Want to bet?”
“Yeah I want to bet. Give me a piece and we’ll have my mom’s tonight.”
Dallas looked at me and rolled her eyes, “You just want to try my moms,” she laughed.
I grabbed a forkful and the look on her face was priceless, “What?”
“You’re gross, you don’t just take a forkful of the cake, cut a fucking piece.”
“I didn’t see a knife,” I smiled before putting it in my mouth. Shit, it’s good.
“You like it huh?” she must have been able to tell by my reaction, “You love it, it’s better than you’ve ever had.”
“Whatever, go get ready.” I stood up and found a knife to cut myself a big ass piece. It’s probably not a good idea to have a huge piece of cake before going onstage and dancing around for a couple hours but fuck that. It’s my birthday.
“Don’t eat all my cake.”
“Nah, I’ll save you a piece,” I smiled as I walked away, eating the cake. It’s fucking amazing; she’s giving my mother a run for her money.
“Don’t forget I still get those punches,” she called out to me.
“I know, and I’m so fucking scared you have no idea,” I answered sarcastically, “Go get ready!”
I hate Justin. Seriously. I know we play around a lot and we have a lot in common but he really is a complete jackass sometimes. He knows I do not like crowds. I have issues just going on stage every night when I’m like a sideshow act. I mean no one is looking at me. I had to assure myself of that before the first show because the idea that all those millions of eyes are on me even at one point during the whole show makes me sick to my stomach.
So here I am, hiding under the stage while Justin is out there getting ready to give his normal toast that he gives every night. This is the part after we did a couple songs and I get to have some water while Justin goes out and flirts with all his fans.
“Alright, let’s get to it,” he began his speech like he usually does “How are you feeling Vancouver?” the crowd screamed, “We got a loud one tonight. Today, some of you may know, is my birthday,” now they’re really screaming, “Thank you, thank you. I can’t think of a better way to spend my night than with all of you. Tonight is also my girl Dallas’s birthday, so I want to bring her out. Veda Dutra everyone, dancer extraordinaire.”
I hate him. I can’t believe he’s calling me out like that, he knows how much I hate it.
“She’s a little shy. Let’s give it up for her so she’ll come out.”
They started cheering for me but it’s not really going to work for me. Then Marty and Kenny literally pushed me out. Thanks guys.
“Here she is, the birthday girl, Veda Dutra. Come over here Dallas.” He laughed at the look I gave him, “She’s pissed now.”
“You’re hilarious.”
“She says I’m funny.” Everyone cheered, he doesn’t get that they’ll scream no matter what he says. “I think I’m pretty funny,” he laughed, “Come on Dallas, we’re going to do a shot.”
Yes, I would very much like a shot right now.
“Usually I like to have a shot of tequila at every show and I don’t always have a reason. But I got one tonight. So hold up your drinks with me. Think you can handle this Dallas?” he handed me a shot and laughed before grabbing one for himself, “Let’s try not to get out of hand alright?” he laughed and everyone laughed with him and screamed even though they have no idea what he’s talking about. But I like it that way; I’d rather him not tell everyone that I’m a whore when I have tequila. “To all the beautiful ladies, to Canada, to uh… you got anything Dallas?”
He held the mic in front of me, “To Karma.”
Justin laughed and the crowd cheered, “Alright, to Karma, and to having a fucking amazing night.”
Dallas was seriously pissed that I called her out on stage. She has got to be the only girl on this tour that does not like attention. It’s actually refreshing. Everyone else on this tour is always fighting over the limelight. Not that I should talk, hell I was once fighting for the limelight. But now that I got it sometimes I’m fighting to get away from it.
After the show we rented out the restaurant at the top of the hotel and had quite the party. We ate; we drank, and just went crazy. Not too crazy, at least I didn’t go too crazy. Not too many people did actually. It was fun and low key. I’m lucky to have such cool people on tour with me. I know it sounds cliché but we really are like a family already and the tour just started.
Everyone was heading out when I grabbed onto Dallas, “I have to give you your present.”
“I have to give you yours,” she answered with a smile, “it’s in my room.”
“Yeah me too, I’ll come down.”
“OK, give me a minute and let me get changed.”
I grabbed two pieces of my mother’s cake that I hid because it went so fast since it’s so good. I don’t know if she got a piece but I don’t want to hear her excuses. Now I will give her a piece so I can make sure she eats it and admits my mother’s cake is better than hers.
After changing into a pair of sweats and grabbing her presents I made my way down to her room. She answered the door wearing a tank top and a pair of baggy sweatpants. “Did you see what Marty got me?” I shook my head and she pulled out a pair of boxing gloves.
“What the fuck?”
“Awesome right? They’re kickboxing gloves with like weights in them,” she smiled her evil smile, “Just in time for your birthday punches.”
“It would be except that it’s two o’clock in the morning on February first.” Her mouth dropped open and I couldn’t help but laugh, “Should have planned better Dallas.”
“But we didn’t do presents yet so…”
“So… who cares, it’s not my birthday anymore so you missed out.”
“Are you really that scared of my punches?”
“It’s not about that. It’s about the simple fact that you missed out.”
She took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. One would think that means she’s giving up but of course not, Dallas always has to have the last word, “Well you’re still getting them.”
“You can’t fucking give them to me,” I backed up but she kept coming.
“Toughen up Justin, don’t be so scared of a girl.” She did not go easy on me either; she was really getting all her frustrations out, all her frustrations from fucking birth.
“Alright, chill.”
“No, since it’s not birthday punches anymore I can punch you as much as I want.”
“Alright, they were birthday punches, thanks. Take off the gloves.”
She laughed and took the gloves off before sitting down on her bed, “OK, open mine first.”
“Wait, I got you some cake first.”
“You got me some cake?”
“Did you have any?” she shook her head, “Alright then, try it and see how it’s better.”
“There was none left.”
“I know that’s why I hid some. It’s the best cake ever so everyone devoured it.”
Dallas laughed and rolled her eyes as she took a forkful, “It’s very good. It’s amazing actually. But my mom’s is better.”
I shook my head because she would never admit it’s better even though she thinks it is. She is so competitive she can’t admit that my mother’s cake is better than her mother’s cake.
“Open my present.”
“Alright,” she handed me the box and I sat down on the other side of the bed.
“You’re going to love it.”
“I bet,” I opened the box to see a nice plaid golfing cap. It was one of those old school caps that your grandfather wears, “I love it.”
She laughed, “You’re going to wear it too.”
“Of course I’m going to wear it,” I laughed, “It’ll match my pants.”
“I know it will, that’s why I got it.”
“You’re a trip kid, thanks.” I handed her the presents I got for her.
“Aww thank you, is something going to pop out at me?”
I shook my head, “You really think that? No.”
“I’m kidding,” she smiled as she opened the box and began laughing hysterically before she even took them out, “You are not fucking serious.” She jumped up holding the pair of plaid pants up, “They’re perfect.”
“Now you can match me.”
“Yay, they’re actually cute, I will wear them. Thank you.”
“Yeah, open the other one.”
She gave me a look and opened the DVD sets and I swear she screamed a little. “Are you serious? Where did you find these?”
“I got connections Dallas, you need to learn that.”
“Oh well then,” she laughed as she looked through the DVDs, “Hey Dude, Alex Mack, and Oh Salute Your Shorts. Oh my gosh I’m so excited.”
“Good, let’s go,” I grabbed them from her hands, “I only got them for you so I could watch them too, what do you want to watch first?”
“Salute Your Shorts, I forgot about that.” I opened the DVD and threw it in before jumping on the bed, “Ugh, it’s fucking cold Dallas!” I yelled as I crawled under the covers.
“Yeah it’s fucking cold, it’s February smart one.”
“Move over, you’re hogging the covers.” I put my head on her pillow.
“You know, you don’t have to share a pillow with me.”
“Yes I do, yours is more comfortable.”
Dallas took a deep breath, “It’s the same pillow.”
“Right, but you have two. There’s only one over here. I need two so I can see the television.”
“So annoying,” she did move over though so we could share the pillow. I always get my way. I have to say this has been one of my best birthdays to date. It’s the first birthday in a real long time that I’m not spending half the time worrying about what is going to happen in my life. I actually like how everything is unfolding.
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