Yet again she’d tried to argue with him about who took the couch and yet again she had lost, though he might as well have taken the damn bed for all the sleep she was getting. Instead she was out here, sitting in a chair with her knees hugged tightly to her chest, the cold caress of the night breeze chilling her slowly down to the bone.

It was any number of things keeping her awake. She’d had insomnia a few times before but only on those really lazy days when she’d done nothing and simply hadn’t tired herself out enough to sleep; now she just had too many thoughts fighting for attention in her brain. The day had been extremely fruitless. They’d only managed to get to two or three stores and none of them had yielded the prize. On a positive note, it was a few places crossed off the list of possibilities.

The really infuriating thing was that they probably would have managed to do at least twice the number of stops if it hadn’t been for the fact that everywhere they went they attracted attention. Renee had always scoffed at celebrities in interviews when they insisted that they just couldn’t stay incognito in public. She had looked at the designer clothing and the huge entourages and the bodyguards that did more to draw interest than deter it and thought that maybe if they went out looking like normal people then they wouldn’t have that problem.

They had gone out looking as normal as anybody - him in jeans and a t-shirt, her in a sweater and combat pants, both hiding beneath baseball caps. They looked like anybody she would see on campus at Michigan any day of the week and she had thought nobody would look twice at them. She had been very wrong. They attracted stares and whispers, people wondering if it really was them but not able to take a close enough look. Every time that had happened she and Justin had to start some very elaborate evasive manoeuvres and then had to lay low and it had completely loused up everything.

They didn’t have time for that: especially if the necklace had been sold on already. She’d done the counting and they had four days left. Only four days to find the thing and reverse the wish, or she was stuck here, and she wasn't sure she could cope with this life full time. She hated the whole stupid thing where she couldn’t go anywhere without people knowing her face. She hated the people surrounding her in her career. She hated the idea that her grandmother had to read what her granddaughter was doing in the gossip pages. She hated the idea that her success had split her parents up and sent her father into some mid life crisis where he went and hooked up with his secretary who wasn't that much older than Louise.

But then she remembered how much fun she’d had learning choreography - once she’d got over her initial ‘where the hell am I and what is this’ panic. She’d missed dancing more than she realised, even after a number of years. Being on stage at the VMAs had been the most terrifying thing she’d ever done; yet the rush was the most exhilarating thing she could ever have imagined. Disapproving as she was of the track listing, she had liked putting a CD in the stereo and hearing her own voice, and watching herself on the interviews and the Making The Videos… she’d looked like she was having fun.

Justin would hate her though. He hated her enough as it was for all she’d done to him and if through her earlier indecision and failure to start looking for the necklace he lost his real girlfriend… she didn’t think he’d ever forgive her. He’d found her before she managed to leave the hotel, apologised for overstepping his bounds and convinced her to come back up to the room before anybody realised she was there. Of course the hotel manager knew but Justin had promised him a hefty amount of cash if he kept his mouth shut about their presence and kept even the hotel staff away from their room.

Renee felt really bad about Justin. Not only about him, for him. She herself had caused him some pain, but she was terrified that after all he was going through to get the other Renee back he was going to be sorely disappointed. Who knew, maybe she’d come back more appreciative of him. Or maybe not: she certainly didn’t think so, not after what she’d seen that day.

Renee had had her second flashback. Why, she didn’t quite understand, not from what Claire had said their purpose was – that purpose being to save her from any huge foul ups. But she had seen everything - she’d seen a frustrated pop star who wanted to stretch her wings tell her boyfriend that she wanted a break. She had seen that pop star at some dive of a bar basking in the attention of those few males brave enough to approach the unattainable pin up girl. She had seen one dark haired, Mediterranean looking guy getting really lucky. She had seen Renee falling back into Justin’s arms. Then she’d seen the Mediterranean guy again. For some reason, she knew his name was Marc. And she knew that her alter ego had cheated.

Worse, she knew why, and contrary to the usual disgust she’d been feeling as she discovered more about the other woman… she kind of understood.

She felt the loneliness, the frustration and the confines of the gilded cage, and she felt the sudden need to rebel against it, to push back. She understood the need to have the attention and even the most false of affections on call when what she really wanted was perpetually out of reach and on promotion. Of course she didn’t understand why the hell if you loved the person you were with you were cheating on him with some guy who was strictly a booty call and who you didn’t even like all that much… hence she really couldn’t bring herself to believe that this trip to normality would bring the other Renee back a changed woman.

“Penny for them.”

Renee looked up and saw Claire had materialised quietly in the chair beside her. “I’m confused. Nothing new.”

“How’s it going with Old Blue Eyes in there?”

“I think he hates me.”

“Now I know that’s not true.” Claire stretched out: not that she could feel her muscles any more but the habits of the living didn’t die so easy. “He’s just having trouble dealing.”

“Because he hates me for lying to him.”

“No. Because you’re forcing him to open his eyes and he hates himself for being so voluntarily blind.”

“She didn’t even tell him that I… she… we auditioned for Mouse Club.” Renee had some trouble finding the appropriate term. “I don’t get it. She cheats on him when I know she loves him, I had…”

“Another flashback, they told me.” Claire nodded and pushed a phantom piece of hair behind her ear. “You gonna tell him?”

“What’s the point?” Renee answered her tone nothing short of morose. “I doubt he’d believe me. Besides, all it’ll do is hurt him and you know I just… I feel like I’ve been dealing with enough of her stuff, trying to keep it all together just the way she left it… maybe I’m being selfish but I feel like if he’s gonna get hurt it should come from her and she should get the fallout because she’s the one who did it, not me. I don’t wanna hurt him any more. Even if he didn’t believe me, which I seriously don’t think he would… it’d still fuck with his head and it hurts me doing nothing but hurting everybody. My parents, Lou, my grandma… enough already.”

“I feel now is the time to inform you that the kid you gave an autograph to at that kiddie dance class, the little boy? He gets so badly picked on for dancing that he was considering suicide and you telling him he was talented actually saved his life.”

Renee’s jaw dropped in shock. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. So don’t tell me you do nothing but hurt everybody.” She changed the subject because technically she probably shouldn’t have divulged that information. “But back to the point, your flashback.”

“I just… it seems so stupid. She wants Justin, so she sleeps with some very bad possibly Greek substitute. And it seems like there’s so much stuff she keeps from him, Grandma, MMC… I can’t explain any of it. It just… I don’t get it and you know my DNA is identical to hers so if I don’t get it…”

“The cheating I can’t explain but the Mouse Club… you know she gets a lot of crap about Christina?”

“She does?”

“Yep,” she replied. “Another thing you and Britney have in common. A lot of people like to say that Renee Anderson is a poor man’s Christina Aguilera and no matter how many concert tickets she sells or how many more albums she pushes than Christina that never seems to go away. My guess is she didn’t want to give people an excuse to say that Christina was always better. That and it’s got to be embarrassing when your boyfriend and his band mate and half his showbiz buddies all got on the show and she didn’t.”

“When you put it like that it does sound kinda like me.” Renee said slowly, thoughtfully, playing with the ends of her ponytail with one hand and hugging her knees a little tighter with the other.

“Like fifth grade when we were all getting our ears pierced and you said you never liked earrings but actually your mom just wouldn’t let you?”

“That was dumb.”

“That’s you. You never liked admitting you couldn’t do stuff.”

“I guess I don’t.” She laid her head on her knee and shut her eyes, remembering her first ever college assignment and the big fat D she had got on it because she’d been too nervous to go ask the professor about it. “Don’t suppose your guys up there got a lock on that necklace, do they? I want this over with. Sooner I get home the happier I’ll be.”

“Will you?” Claire asked softly, causing Renee’s head to jerk back up sharply.

“What? You mean I’m supposed to stay here? I thought you said it was my choice?”

“Exactly, Ren,” the brunette pounced. “It’s your choice. Don’t let Justin make it for you. I’m not saying that you should go or that you should stay but if you let him choose then all you’re doing is abdicating responsibility and missing the whole point of why they sent you here. You can’t let somebody else make your destiny for you.”

“God.” Renee bit back, not sure what to say, feeling remarkably stung. “They make you swallow a dictionary in life after death?”

“Hey. I know secrets of existence now; I’m allowed a better vocabulary.”

“Speaking of which… which religion is right?”

Claire was about to laugh before she realised that Justin was not far away; since he could see and hear her now, she could wake up him. “Naughty, naughty. I can’t tell you that, you’re supposed to keep your own faith.”

“Spoil my fun.”

“A good person is a good person, Ren.” She smiled softly. “No matter who they are or what they believe or what mistakes they make - it’s all the same underneath everything.”

“Well lucky for me I get the chance to rectify my mistake.” Renee replied. “I find that stupid necklace, wish it all back, and then Justin can have his girlfriend back and he’ll be happy and I can forget this ever happened.”

Claire sighed deeply. Much as she loved the blonde girl sitting next to her, she felt like smacking her upside her head. It wouldn’t do her any good though, seeing as neither of them would feel it. Renee had entirely missed the point of everything she’d said; she didn’t think she’d even been particularly subtle on the last part.

“I gotta go; this wasn't supposed to be a long trip. You okay?”

“If you could find that necklace and put everything back so everybody’s all happy and he doesn’t hate me any more I would be.” Renee mumbled miserably.

Resisting the urge to put an arm around her friend’s shoulder, Claire decided that she might as well go before she was dragged away. Somehow, something in the pit of her stomach (figuratively speaking, anyway) told her that this was going to be the last time and it had to be easier to live with if she walked away on her own. She wished she didn’t have go, wished she could sit and stay with Renee as long as she needed her, she wished they still had a life time together. But her time was up, had been up for a long time. This had just been a temporary reprieve and she had to go before it hurt too much to go.

“Just remember what I said, sweetie. Don’t try to make everybody else happy, ‘cause you’ll never do it. Believe me, I know. Be who you choose to be.”

“Clara?”

“Yeah?”

“When did you get all wise and crap?”

Claire chuckled, trying not to cry. She wouldn’t feel the tears but somehow she’d still feel the pain. “About the time you got all smart ass and crap. I’ll be seeing you, Ren. Go inside before you freeze to death, alright?”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She disappeared with a light sniffle.

Renee, still staring out at the sky, was too caught up in her thoughts to really register the sound. Giving a light shiver, she rubbed her arms and hugged herself tightly before realising that the onset of hypothermia wouldn’t exactly be great for the whole mission they were on. Quietly she got up and slipped back through the door, as silently as she could.

She had only just got her second foot into the room when the light came on. The glare hit her eyes and instinctively she squeezed them shut, turning from the brightness. Opening them back up as quickly as she could stand to her eyes fell upon the tall stature of Justin, who stood there in a pair of extremely rumpled boxers.

“What were you doing out there?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Did I wake you?”

“I’d need to be asleep before you could wake me up,” he admitted wryly. “I’m sorry, I was about to come in here and wake you up anyways.”

“Is everything okay?” She asked, mildly worried - you didn’t wake people up at that time of the morning for good things.

Justin caught the concerned look on her face and wasn't quite sure how he felt about it: guilty, mostly, especially since she hadn’t registered that the door hadn’t been open when she’d gone outside. It was difficult for him to have her still being nice to him when he’d been so perfectly happy to blame her for absolutely everything without considering anybody else’s part in the whole thing, including his own. He had completely ignored the possibility that maybe she wasn't having the easiest time of it either.

“Umm… I just… I don’t normally like to take things back but can I take back the thing about sleeping on the sofa?” He finally managed to articulate his original problem. “I think a midget would have trouble stretching out on that thing.”

“Sure.” Renee fluffed the pile of pillows she’d arranged on the bed and straightened out the comforter. “I told you I’d be better off out there than you.”

“No.” Justin grabbed her wrist as she went to leave. “I don’t wanna kick you out either… it’s… it’s a big bed,” he finished weakly. “And we’ve shared before so we know we don’t snore, right?”

She gave him a small smile. “You talk in your sleep.”

“Mom says she can have whole conversations with me.” He smiled back, feeling sheepish and kind of stupid. This woman made him extremely uncomfortable but at the same time she had a strange calming effect - it was really confusing being around her. “But please, you won’t sleep any better out there than me and… it’s a big bed.”

“Okay.” She didn’t know what else to say. “You wanna get the light?”

“Sure.”

He obliged as she split the pillows into two separate piles from where she had arranged them for one in the middle of the bed. They both climbed in together and Justin had to keep from groaning in pleasure at the softness of the mattress beneath him. He turned onto his side and began to snuggle himself in when he wondered which way she was facing. Was it at him or at the wall? He wasn't sure he would feel comfortable facing her, even though there was a respectable gap between them. Then again did it make a difference? Why was he even thinking about it - who cared? It wasn't like he could even see her in the dark and he’d be asleep any way.

Flipping onto his front, he hugged the covers to his body and turned his head to the wall.