Renee fully remembered the very first time she had woken up in Justin Timberlake’s arms. The night before had been much more innocent than it was this time around, but the overall experience had been something of a guilty pleasure. It had been nice to wake up all warm and cosy and snuggled up next to a guy.
This time it was all of the guilt and none of the pleasure.
She was mentally screaming profanities at herself, wondering why the hell she had been stupid enough to sleep with him again. The guy had been wounded and needy and had only come onto her because she was some supposedly purer version of his actual girlfriend and what had she done? Put up a pitiful fight and succumbed to temptation at record speed. Now she was too afraid to move because while he wasn’t all over her and didn’t have his arm around her or anything, the sleeping Justin was fairly close and it would be fairly easy to wake him up.
Renee really didn’t want to wake him up. Waking him up would mean having to talk to him. It was an incredibly awkward situation and emotionally it was very complex. The easiest thing for her predicament would be if he were to just apologise and say that he’d been a little overwrought and in need of some cold comfort and that they should forget it - except that wouldn’t be so great for her ego, being told she was the sexual equivalent of somebody’s baby blanket and mom’s chicken soup.
If he’d actually meant any of last night it was going to create hugely huge problems, yet even more guilt complexes, and she was way too young to be getting worry lines. They certainly had chemistry but everything in her was telling her that acting upon it last night had been a terrible decision. Renee was beginning to feel a migraine coming on.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Renee stiffened slightly as the mattress shifted beneath her, signalling movement to go with the sleepy voice that had just greeted her. Justin’s mouth met the back of her neck, oblivious to the tension in her muscles.
“How’re you feeling?” He asked her as his arm slipped over her stomach. Apparently he wasn't having the same difficulty she was with the situation.
“I’m okay.” That was as positive as she could make her answer. “You?”
“I’m good.” He squeezed her in a hug and she could feel his upper body against her back. “You wore me out.”
“Eh-heh…” It was as lame a laugh as she could muster. This was not good; he was talking like they were a couple in some movie having morning after sex flirty talk.
“You really okay?” He smoothed her hair back from her face and his hand trailed over the back of her head as he did so.
Renee was officially in hell. If this had been the morning after any of her previous conquests she would have been ecstatically happy – the college guys she’d been with had a tendency to drop the romance and the tender stuff once they got laid. That was not to say that all of them were all about getting laid and that they dropped her as soon as they scored, but there was a serious downhill turn in the handholding and cuddles and stuff.
However, none of those guys had technically been dating somebody else when they’d hooked up and none of those guys were having girlfriend identity issues. Then again, on the other hand, none of those guys were Justin Timberlake with the hot body and the beautiful blue eyes. She was confused. It was confusing.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She lied, turning over to finally face him. “I just… wasn't expecting that.”
“Me neither.” Justin chuckled before his face relaxed and looked a little more serious. “I’m not sorry though.”
“Oh.” The word ‘oh’ was wonderfully vague - was it a question or just a statement? God, did she have to psychoanalyse every other thing she said for fear of what he might take from it?
“It was…” He searched for an appropriate word to express himself. How did you tell a girl it was good without being crude and how did you tell her you liked your time with her without being sappy? “Nice. I really… I mean that, Ren.”
“It was nice.” She smiled tightly at him. Yep, it had been nice; it was the fallout crap that was the problem. She didn’t know what to think right now.
“You know maybe…” Okay, she was sure she hadn’t had any hair in her face that time. “Maybe it’s a good thing we didn’t find the necklace. Maybe… maybe we weren’t supposed to.”
“You really think that?” She stuttered.
“I just… I really like you, Ren. And I mean you, the real you.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” Justin smiled at her before picking up her hand and letting his fingers play with hers. “I know I started out being an asshole but I’ve really liked spending time with you these last couple days. And I like it when you talk to me about college and your family and that weird girl Kristi and whoever. You make me feel real, y’know?”
“Wow.” She bit her lip slightly, focussing on his chin and the slight stubble beginning to make itself known there. He had to go and be sweet, didn’t he?
“You make me feel the way I used to feel,” he whispered to her. “And I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”
Hhe had to go and spill his guts too: all while looking abnormally perfect for a guy who had only just woken up after not enough sleep. Sighing deeply, Renee moved over a little on the bed and slung an arm over his chest, laying her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes as she felt his hand glide over her back so he could hold her too. Her blonde hair hid most of her face but Justin pushed it back, leaving it to splay over the pillow behind her.
She really didn’t know what else to do. He was being so sweet to her and what he said had meant more than she cared to admit, and all she could do in return was just to hug him, as if that small gesture could tell him how much she appreciated everything he’d just said.
It didn’t take him long to fall back to sleep; she could tell by his steady breathing, even though she hadn’t brought her face up to look at him. It was just so much easier and more comforting to hide her face in his skin while the thoughts whirled around her brain. And she did have some serious thinking to do.
