Silence was a very awkward thing, Justin found.

It wasn't always like that. There were a few people in his life he never had that trouble with, people he could sit in total silence with in a room without it feeling uncomfortable or stilted. Precious were the folk who could keep the atmosphere pleasant without having to resort to inane babble - that was what Justin had found.

Renee Anderson, funnily enough, had never been one of them. He could say that equally of each version, this world or the next. Head over heels he might have been, but he'd never experienced a single moment with the woman where some form of communication hadn't felt necessary. It didn't have to be talk - certain actions spoke louder than words anyway - but she had just never been one of those people. Half of him thought that was simply because he was so head over heels he couldn't go without, the other half wondered if maybe they weren't as comfortable as he liked to think they were. One way or another, he'd always had to be conversing with her.

Today was no different. She had turned up on his doorstep at roughly ten in the morning; it was now mid afternoon and the pair of them had yet to say a single word to each other. It had been hellish. Justin was absolutely dying, and the resentful look on her face wasn't making life any easier. He didn't understand why she'd bothered even coming over if she had no plans to talk to him, but in all fairness he had yet to form any kind of sentence himself.

It didn't help that he was having a hard time looking at her. The hair might have been the wrong shade of brunette, but it was still throwing him off, as was the sudden change in dress sense - it was like looking at a hybrid. The hair was between the bleached version and the chocolate version, the outfit was still too pop-starry and revealing to be his own Renee's style but it certainly took a step that way and all in all it confused him. The sun dress was a little too revealing, the jeans too tight, the heels too high and the make up too heavy, but enough had changed to make it a lot harder to look at her and not see his girlfriend.

Even as he was thinking about it, she wafted into the room, hair bouncing around her face. With a strange delicateness she walked over to the refrigerator and moved the carton of orange juice from it. Moving swiftly and quietly she had grabbed a glass, poured herself a drink and drifted straight back out of the room before Justin could even draw breath to speak, let alone say something.

He was annoyed. It was annoying. He'd never known himself have so little to say.

***

"Lou I'm serious!" Renee exclaimed, protesting as her evil sister decided to laugh instead.

"Yeah, right. You want me to fly up there and interrupt your little game of House with lover boy? No thank you. Watching you two making out every five seconds is not my idea of fun."

"We wouldn't be!"

"You said that last time! Besides, I'm busy. Work's been a pain in the ass and I can't take off right now."

Renee could have made a pretty convincing argument for her sister as to why such the making out scenario was unlikely, but it would only land her in the psych ward. Instead she had to sigh and give in, changing the subject.

"Fine, leave me to waste away. See if I care."

"You're supposed to be recording anyway, when you gonna have time for me?" Louise riposted. "I'll still see you in a couple of weeks, sweetie. Besides, weren't you guys supposed to be going to Vegas soon?"

"Oh, yeah."

It seemed hard to believe that with her relationship under so much scrutiny she had forgotten her anniversary, but the big day was looming. It was looking less and less likely her boyfriend would be around for it, however, so she wasn't holding her breath. Claire still hadn't deigned to show up, Justin was still holed up in the studio doing anything but thinking about what he was supposed to be thinking about, and Renee was despairing. Finally she had called her sister for some comfort (and also a conversation that didn't sound like it could have taken place on Dawson's Creek).

"It's nice that you're now so high up in that superstar stratosphere that such things mean nothing to you."

"And on that note I'm going," Renee said dryly. "Bye. I'd say I love you, but since it's clearly unreciprocated…"

"Whatever, loser. I'll speak to you soon."

"Bye."

She pushed the end call button with a sigh, tossing her phone on the coffee table and pulling her knees up to her chest. Pulling the fur throw off the back of the sofa (clearly not real, but it looked good), she curled up into a ball in the corner and laid her head wearily on its arm. It was amazing how she could feel so old and so young at the same time - she was behaving just as she had when a child and upset, yet she felt like the frown she'd been wearing for so long was beginning to etch premature lines on her face.

It was no less than four in the afternoon. There was no sign of anybody at all, and she was worried. It seemed like the sigh of relief she had breathed when Justin had told her he would make the wish again had been too hasty; Claire had ordered him not to, he seemed more inclined to run from his problems than face them and it wasn't like she had a grip on anything herself.

Perhaps she ought to have been thinking of what she would say when her boyfriend got back, whether the two of them were destined to hurt each other as much as their counterparts, what she was going to do. Maybe an idea of what she'd do if he wound up staying after all should have popped up. Instead she fell into a troubled sleep, and it was there she remained even as Justin crept quietly into the suite, more than four hours later. Clearly the insomnia the night before had finally caught up to her.

He said nothing, merely readjusted her slipping blanket and quietly went into the other room. There, he sat himself down at the table to write.

***

"Okay…" Justin was proud; it was his first word of the day… a mere ten hours later. "Don't you think we should talk now?"

"What's to say?" Renee shrugged as she continued perusing the pizza menu. She had spent most of the day hiding in Justin's studio, playing around with some vocals. "He's clearly not wishing us back, you might wanna get used to it."

"Four hours is a long time," he replied unconvincingly.

She snorted derisively. "In politics maybe but this is the real world."

"GOD!" Exhaling sharply out of his nose, trying not to get angry at her again, Justin breathed heavily. "You're impossible."

"Yep. That's why he's not wishing us back; I'm the crappy one remember?"

"Oh play a different fucking tune," he grouched, fiddling anxiously with the hem of his Beatles t-shirt and trying to remind himself that beer might cause more problems than it solved.

"I'll tell you what, we'll let your girlfriend ditch you for somebody else and see how well you take it!"

"I took it better than this!" Justin said, settling for a water bottle instead of the beer and sitting himself on the counter next to the fridge. He had in fact been cheated on and dumped for somebody else; he wasn't unfamiliar with how it felt to get ditched. "Yeah, I was pissed, and then I was bitter, but then I decided to get up and get on with my life. You've been walking around like this for two frickin' years!"

"I'm sorry, can you count?" Renee laughed evilly, purposely brushing up against his legs as she herself went to grab a soda from the fridge. "You've been here three weeks."

Justin replied with a sardonic smile, shrugging his shoulders up high. "You've been doing this woe is me, I must suffer shit ever since he found out you cheated on him. Instead of trying to fix it and getting on with it, you watched it all go down the fucking toilet because for some weird reason you think you deserved it. So, yeah, two years sweetheart."

Renee's mouth dropped open for a moment before she seemed to recover herself, tossing her head lightly and glowering at him. He tried to pretend he was unperturbed, but the closer physical resemblance to his girlfriend now meant that her looking pissed off with him had greater effect than before.

"Don't talk like you know shit about my life."

"Don't talk like you know shit about my girlfriend," he responded pettily.

Her face curved into a disturbingly cat like smile and she sidled over to him, making him almost tip his water all over his crotch as she ran her hands over his thighs. He hadn't expected that remark to prompt any kind of seduction there.

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" She traced a finger over his left knee. "Fact is I am your girlfriend. It's all the same, right down to the part where both of you are too dumb to catch on. Hence why you both seem to think she's so darn gosh perfect and I'm some loser."

Throwing her hands off his knees, Justin scooted over on the counter, placing himself away from her, and jumped down to prevent any more touching and feeling.

"How many times do I have to tell you she's not perfect? But there's a fucking big difference between you both right now - she's made an effort to get her shit together and you seem happier to sit around blaming everybody else instead of doing something to fix it yourself. I know he was an asshole to you, but you were too busy with the self pity to actually get off your ass and stand up to the guy. Nobody's to blame for that but you, so will you please change the fucking record and quit blaming me or her or anybody but you?"

"God," she said in disgust as she threw her hands in the air and walked away from him, "we're clearly stuck with each other, I actually try to reach out to you because I think you're a nice guy and we could be good together and then you act like this."

"Hey, you're the one who molested me!"

That really did make her burst out laughing. "Oh please. It's not molestation if you kiss me back, moron. Which just proves my point - on some level, you know it's all the same and we could be good together, you're just in serious denial. Still, midnight's gonna come around and snap you out of that real quick."

"You think we could be good together? Sure, because the last couple of days with you have been so fucking pleasant," he snorted. "Do you not get it? You are not her. I am not him. We have been through two totally different lives. You are totally fucked up and will continue to be fucked up until you get off your ass and start fixing your life and you'll forgive me if the last thing I wanna do is date somebody who's only with me because I look like the ex she's not over."

Even as he said it, Justin realised how true it was. Despite his confusion, despite the guilt and the pull he had felt towards her, there was no question of them ever dating. He was fairly sure that in any dimension any version of him cared to live in there he could fall for Renee Anderson, but you couldn't fall for a second version if you'd already gone ass over feet for a first. Maybe in another life, had they not met the others first, but not this way. What that said about his girl he wasn't sure, given that she hadn't met him first, but he could never be in love with this one and if she would actually be honest with herself she'd feel the same. They weren't interchangeable.

Maybe he'd lost sight of that for a moment when he'd let her kiss him, but he was now understanding his reaction. He'd been afraid that he was feeling things he shouldn't be, when actually his gut was telling him the opposite.

"Are you deaf?" She sounded more exasperated every time she spoke. "This is not about him."

"This whole thing is about him," he contradicted her. "It's about you and him, I don't even factor into it. Only reason you're trying to make me part of this is that I'm here and he's not. But I am not him and you cannot fix whatever's fucked up with him by coming onto me because I. Am. Not. Him. To be honest though I'm not even sure you can fix it with him. You might be better off breaking up with the dude and attempting to fix yourself first."

A short, sharp sting hit Justin's cheek, and it took him a moment to realise that she had reached across the counter and slapped him. Oddly, his reaction wasn't anger or irritation or any form of comeback. Oddly, he began to smile.

"I think I hit a nerve. Not the first time that thought's gone through your head, is it?"

"Shut up."

"They say you gotta live with yourself first before you can live with somebody else."

"Shut UP!" Another loud smack sounded through the room and Justin had to stretch his jaw out, surprised at the strength of her. Still he began advancing towards her, refusing to let her drop his gaze even as he saw her quivering torso and tightened lips.

"You were trying to be somebody you weren't long before that hair changed colour," he told her softly. "How'd you expect a relationship to last when one of the people supposed to be in it doesn't really exist?"

"Are you trying to make me kill you?"

"Either way, you gotta figure your only shot at making up with him has to be you being honest and yourself for a change," Justin said as finally he had her backed up into the wall. "Or is that what you're afraid of, huh? Afraid he won't want you if you do?"

It was when she burst into tears and dropped with alarming speed to the floor that he began to wonder if he wasn't pushing a little too hard. He didn't mean to be insensitive or anything, he just seemed to have a talent for it. It almost reminded him of the time he'd made Christina cry during one day of MMC filming because he'd asked her what was wrong with her hair and it turned out she'd spent an hour making it look that way. The guilt began to grip him a little too hard and he began to feel queasy in the stomach area.

Feeling her face begin to burn with heat, Renee hurriedly rubbed at her eyes and nose in an effort to make her tears stop. Trying to get a handle on it was giving her hiccoughs. Wondering how on Earth she was going to answer any of that, she dared to look up at Justin.

He looked confused, and a little green. He blinked rapidly when he caught her gaze, and it looked like he was having trouble forming words. There was a funny twitch in his lip and he was scratching his arm nervously.

"Justin?" She asked, scarcely daring to believe what she saw behind his eyes.

"Ren… you dyed y-your hair," was what he said in response. It was lame, he knew, but he had nothing else.

Three weeks without setting eyes on her, and that was the best he could come up with. It was pathetic.

***

Looking at the desk which had suddenly materialised in front of him, Justin scarcely dared believe his eyes. He thought he knew what had happened, but he didn't want to believe it lest it turn out to be some kind of tease. When his eyes went to his watch, it was his own watch. He was clad in a sweater he remembered buying just over a month ago. He was sitting at a table that looked very much like the one he'd been staying in before the little swap had happened, and when he put his hand to his head there was more than three weeks' stubble on it.

And when he stared down at his hands, flexing and wiggling his fingers as if that could tell him which body they were attached to, he caught sight of a scrawled note he naturally had to pick up and read.

Dear Justin/other me,

I owe you an apology, but I have no idea what I could say to make up for this shit. Just know that I am. Sorry, I mean. Things got a little crazy in my head and I acted selfish because I couldn't deal. Rest assured I'm tossing the necklace.

Shit this is harder than I thought, what do you say to yourself? I just wanted to say that after being you, I kind of admire you. You went for it and took the risks and you got it, hope I can pull that little trick off someday. I just wanted to say that. I didn't do anything while I was here that you need to worry about (unless that is you hate the song me and Tim wrote, hope you don't. It's better than anything I wrote in a long time, even if it's not finished).

I just wanted to say about Renee… keep hold of her. I'm guessing you've seen how badly I messed up by now. Don't do what I did - I took her for granted. I neglected her, didn't realise she needed me until after she had to go elsewhere to find it and then once the shit hit the fan I took everything out on her instead of trying to work on stuff. I think I sucked the life out of her, and believe me when I say you don't realise how easy it is. You won't even notice it happening until it's too late and you're both complete strangers, which is why I'm telling you now… don't fuck this up. Fight for her, she's too much to lose. You guys are older and wiser than we were, and I think maybe you got a better chance at making it work if you just watch out for this stuff. Me and my girl gotta be a pretty memorable warning, right?

Oh, and keep hold of JC too. You won't realise how important he is until he's not there.

Again, very sorry,

Justin

Well, he supposed that settled it. He'd been returned to his rightful place and time. Swiftly folding up the note and stuffing it in his pocket, Justin wandered out into the living room area of the suite, his heart heavy and his mind swirling.

He caught sight of the small body nestled into the corner of the couch. It was amazing how small she had managed to make herself. The familiar sight of her dark hair and even breathing ought to have comforted him, but instead a strange knot had tied itself in his stomach. Dark circles lined her eyes, and even in rest she looked tired. Knowing her as he did, Justin had a suspicion that when she woke up they were going to have to have a very difficult conversation.

He had no idea what to do with any of this, what he was supposed to make of this entire trippy experience. Finally he was back in the world he belonged in, that he was sure of, but any notion of where to go from here eluded him. Then again, it was hard to go from arguing with a crying hysterical woman to sitting in front of a desk reading heartfelt letters from his doppelganger without a little confusion. Maybe he should go easier on himself.

Quietly he sank down on the sofa next to her. Taking care not to wake her, Justin pulled Renee's feet onto his lap and the blanket over the pair of them, watching her sleep as he lightly rubbed her ankle.