Chapter 20

Justin pushed up the sleeves of his long sleeve orange University of Tennessee shirt and started folding a pile of clothing. He hummed along with a familiar song that was playing on repeat on his stereo. He smiled at whose voice it was. He folded a few shirts and neatly placed them in the duffel bag laying open on his bed. After packing a few things he decided he was hungry and wanted to eat some dinner.

Justin walked down the stairs and shuffled to his kitchen. He opened his refrigerator and scanned. Picking up a Tupperware container, he opened the lid and turned up his nose. He practically tossed the container back into the fridge and sauntered over to the phone. He flipped through the phonebook and ran his long finger down the columns searching for what it was his was looking for. He found the number and dialed.

A heavy accent came across the line. "El Cocino, how may I help you?"

Justin turned around and leaned his back on the counter. "Yes I'd like to place a take out order."

"Go ahead."

"Dinner special of chicken fajitas. That's it."

"Chican?" The man replied in a strong Mexican tone.

Justin chuckled slightly. "Yes, chicken."

"OK, that will be ready in 15 minutes. Name please..."

"Justin.”

"OK, thank you."

"Yeah, bye." Justin hung up the phone and immediately the doorbell rang.

His brow connected in confusion and his scrunched his lips to one side, wondering who it could be. Someone who knew the code.

He peeked through the glass surrounding the large wooden door and smiled. He opened it and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Oh noooo, not YOU!" Justin shut the door in her face and he heard a scoff on the other side. She banged on the door a few times and screamed.

"Let me in Timberfake!" He smiled and opened the door grandly.

"Why Meredith! What a pleasant surprise!" He mocked.

"Oh shut up." She pushed past him and he grabbed her waist.

She smiled as they began to walk slowly through the foyer; him attached to her back. "What are you doing here, baby?" He used their newfound nickname for each other.

"I thought you might want some help packing. Since I didn't get to see you all today and barely yesterday with work and school." He dropped his arms from around her and picked his keys off the edge of a counter in the kitchen.

"Hey, I just put in an order at El Cocino. I need to go get it. You wanna come or just stay here?" Justin asked walking toward the door that led to the garage.

Meredith opened the door for him and leaned against it. "I'll stay here. Is there anything you need to be washed so you can pack it?"

HE thought for a moment and his eyebrows rose in realization. "Umm, actually, yeah. The laundry basket in my bathroom, those clothes NEED to be washed."

"OK." She nodded and smiled.

"You are a sweetheart, I'll be back in 30 minutes." He gave her a super-sexy smile.

"Bye, baby." Meredith kissed him lightly. He cupped her cheek to deepen it and she pushed him out the door with a giggle.

"Bye." He quietly said and hopped into his Roadster.

Meredith watched him back out of the driveway and happily sighed. She closed the door and sauntered up to the stairs. She yawned as she made her way to his familiar bedroom.

Piles of neatly stacked clothes were everywhere. 3 pieces of luggage were placed around the room. She groaned a whine as she made her way to his bathroom and had to pass his huge sleigh bed.

She wanted that bed all to herself. She LOVED that bed.

Meredith entered the bathroom and was hit with the smell of Justin's aftershave, cologne, and soap all mix together. Of course it was a very faint smell, but it made her smile none the less. She found the clothes hamper and rolled her eyes when she saw it was overflowing with clothes. Even a few were on the floor. She struggled picking up the basket and finally got it balanced. She laughed with what was right there in front of her face. A pair of Tighty Whiteys.

She KNEW she would give him hell for this.

Meredith walked back into the room and was almost at his doorway when she dropped the basket and let all the contents fall onto the floor. Her mouth slowly dropped and she turned her head to the stereo that was softly playing a familiar voice. A singing voice that she knew VERY well. TOO well.

Her OWN voice.

It scared her a little. Then she realized when, where, what. She stomped to the CD player and popped the CD holder, picked up the CD and looked at it. It had no label on it. She left the pile of clothing where it was and stepped on it as she stormed down the steps gripping the CD. She put it in the boze stereo system that filled his white living room and took a seat on the couch. She pressed play on the remote control and listened to her own voice over and over again. The Boze system was a lot clearer than the one in his bedroom. Somehow the music had been added to it. The song was Dido's "Thank You". It was if they took the song and had replaced Dido's voice with her own.

She didn't know why she was mad. In fact, it was very sweet that he was listening to her voice. HER imperfect voice when he could be listening to REAL musicians. But she had told him not to record it. And he did anyway.

20 minutes later and after hearing the song over and over, the door in the kitchen that connected to the garage opened.

"Honey I'm home!" Justin yelled with laughter, throughout the house. He set the bag of food on the island in the kitchen and tossed his keys with it. He peeked in the laundry room and was surprised to see her not in it and even more surprised that no laundry was being done.

"Mere?" He called out.

"In here." She said with no emotion.

Justin strolled over to her sitting on the plush white leather couch and smiled.

"What are you doin?" He questioned wrapping his arms around her neck from behind the couch. She pressed a button on the remote and the room was filled with her song. Justin slowly brought his arms back to his sides and stood up straight. He walked around the couch and sat down beside her.

He sighed and finally spoke. "Listen, Meredith-"

"No! YOU LISTEN, JUSTIN!" Justin's eyes widened at her tone and he almost laughed.

Her tone softened. "I asked you NOT to record that Justin. And you did anyway. I don't know whether to slap you for going behind my back or to kiss you for wanting to listen to it."

He smiled and turned on the couch so he was facing her. "I'd choose the latter." He giggled and she turned her head to him.

"Justin." She whined and relaxed her shoulders.

"Baby, I'm sorry I did this behind your back. But, I like to hear you sing. And I know you wouldn't let me record you unless you didn't know about it." Justin scooted closer to her and brought his mouth to her neck.

"I love your voice. I love YOU, angel." He kissed her neck gently and she smiled. He continued to caress her neck with his lips and just when she was about to tilt her head to give him better access, she snapped out of her trance.

"That's not going to work." She stated firmly and jumped off the couch and walked quickly into the kitchen. She peeked into his bag and smelled the strong scent of Mexican food.

Justin turned off the stereo that was still playing her song and followed her. He walked slowly trying to figure out something he could say to let her forgive him.

"Meredith, what can I say to- " He stopped dead in his tracks and raised an eyebrow at her. The box that was containing his fajitas was open and she had a fork in her mouth. She looked at him like a deer caught in headlights.

"What are you doing?" He asked her like she was crazy.

She swallowed loudly and removed the fork. "Nothing." She said a little TOO quickly.

"YOU are eating MY dinner." He walked over to her and sat down in her lap.

She squirmed. "Get off of me! You're heavy." She tried pushing him off, but he pressed his butt down harder on her lap and started eating HIS food.

"Now you are calling me fat. This has been a great night." Justin said sarcastically and brought his hand in the air and started counting on his fingers. "You've yelled at me, You wouldn't let me kiss you, You ate MY supper, and NOW you are calling me fat." He turned on her lap and looked at her. "What's wrong witchew?" He finished in a thuggish accent.

She couldn't help but giggle. He turned back to his food and continued eating. Meredith finally gave in and wrapped her arms around him clasping her hands together on his stomach and resting her forehead on his back.

"I'm sorry, J. I shouldn't be mad at you. No, I should be a little mad, but I shouldn't have blown up like that. Forgive me?" When he didn't answer she tickled his tummy and he squirmed.

"Yeah, yeah. I forgive you."

"OK, now get off me, my legs are asleep!" He laughed and got off of her and moved to the stool beside her.

"So, how far along are you on packing?" Justin asked sliding his plate of food over in front of him.

"Almost done. I saw you were still in the process when I went up stairs." He picked off a piece of chicken from his plate and put it in front of her lips. She opened her mouth and he placed the chicken on her tongue. Meredith closed her mouth down on his fingers. He smiled and slowly brought them out of her mouth. She giggled while she ate the piece of meat.

"Yeah. I cannot wait, Meredith. This is going to be SO much fun." Justin did a little dance and Meredith raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm going to go pick up your clothes from where I dropped them up stairs and wash them for you, k?"

"OK." Justin whispered as he leaned over and stared at her face from the side, about an inch away from it. She turned her eyes first to look at him then turned her whole face. She gave him a funny look.

"What are-" Justin pressed his lips firmly to hers and she immediately kissed him back. She sighed on his lips and let his tongue gently enter her mouth. Her arms went around his neck and his left his plate and pulled her close to him. She stood in between his legs as she kissed him more forcefully. Her hands massaged his neck as his slid down to her waist. The tips of his fingers slid between the elastic of her Express stretch pants and her smooth skin, tracing delicate patterns on it. He moaned into her mouth as her fingers ran through his hair. He scooted to the edge of the stool and pulled her towards him so that all of their bodies were touching. Meredith giggled into his mouth and he pulled away as she assaulted his neck with sloppy kisses.

"What's so funny?" Justin asked catching his breath. She kissed up his neck and finally brought her face up and leaned her forehead against his. She smiled an amused smile and kissed him lightly.

"The beast has decided to make an appearance, I see?" She giggled and his face turned a slight shade of pink.

"Shut up." He mumbled. Just then the phone rang. Meredith giggled and reached to pick it up.

"Hello?" She answered sweetly, turning around so that her back was against Justin's chest. He placed simple kisses on her neck and massaged her shoulders.

"Girlfriend?" A child's voice came over the phone.

"BOYFRIEND! Hey cutie, what's up?" Justin placed his forehead on her shoulder, wrapped his arms around her and sighed tiredly.

"Not much. Is Justin there?"

Meredith turned her head and kissed the top of his head that was still resting on her shoulder. "Sure is." Justin lifted his head.

"It's your brother." She kissed his cheek and walked away to do his laundry.

"Hey bro." Justin said getting up and cleaning the mess he made with his take out.

"Hey, are you spending the night tomorrow?" Jonathan asked eagerly.

"Um yeah, or you can come here. Whatever you want little man." Justin placed his dishes in the sink.

"Oh, mom wants to talk to you. I'll call you tomorrow. Later." Justin smiled at how quickly his little brother was maturing.

"Hey honey." Lynn's sweet southern drawl filled his ears and he immediately began to smile.

"Hi mom."

"Are you coming here tomorrow? I kinda want to spend some time with you before you two go over seas." Justin noticed is mother's tired voice.

"All right, mom are you OK?"

“No I'm not, Justin. I'm worried about you going over there without security. I'm REALLY worried. And when you get to Paris, if word gets out that you are in town, the cameras and reporters will eat you alive. Not to mention Meredith. The press have only gotten a few pictures and none of them have listed her as anything more than Nsync's assistant."

"Please mom, I've already gotten this lecture from Johnny, Mike, the guys, EVERYONE! I don't need to hear this from you too." He sighed loudly.

"Justin Randall, do NOT get an attitude with me, young man."

"Sorry mom. I know you are just caring about me, but.." Justin looked around to make sure Meredith wasn't listening and lowered his voice. "...the more you guys keep talking about this stuff they MORE I start to worry. And when I worry I know Meredith can sense it. I don't want to have to spend my whole vacation worrying if someone is going to pop out of the bushes."

"Baby as much as you hate to face reality, you are going to have to. You are one of the most popular people on the earth. People want a piece of you, and some will go to extreme measures to get that piece."

"I know I know. Maybe I should...nevermind." Justin placed his elbows on the counter and started massaging his temples with his free fingers.

"Say it darling."

"Maybe I should call Lonnie." He said quietly.

"I think you and Meredith should talk about this."

Justin subcontiously nodded. "Yeah you are right."

"Think about it, honey. Call me tomorrow, OK?" Justin could picture his mom smiling on the other end. It gave him some comfort.

"OK, Hey Mom?"

"Yes babe?"

"I love you."

"I know you do. I love you too."

"Bye." Justin hung up the phone and sighed in almost a whimper. He was so worried and stressed out. He rested his forehead on his wrists that were crossed. His arms were folded on the counter and he was leaning down on it.

"Baby?" Meredith whispered. He stood up straight and turned to face her.

"Yeah?" He said in a choked up whisper. He didn't realized how fast his emotions were coming to him and when he saw her there, he could barely stand up straight.

Meredith noticed his painful face and silently walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. The flood broke and he started crying uncontrollably. They sank to the floor and Meredith cradled Justin's crying face against her shoulder as she rocked them back and forth.

He kept repeating, "I'm so scared, baby. I'm so scared."

-------

"Justin, what is it? Why are you scared?" Meredith quietly asked him and he held on to her.

"I...I..." Justin stuttered and shook his head.

"Look at me, J. What's wrong?" Meredith took her hands and lifted his face to hers. He stared at her with intensity and pain. She stared back with confusion.

"Don't worry about it. I need to go pack." Justin looked away and stood up. He quickly walked out of the kitchen to the steps.

"Justin, wait." Meredith pushed herself off the floor and ran after him. He was running up the steps 2 at a time. She followed.

"Justin." She called once she got to the top of the stairs. He kept walking.

"Justin!" She said more firmly, now he was at his door.

"JUSTIN!!!" She basically screamed. He turned around in a huff.

"WHAT?" He said impatiently.

She shook her head and looked at him confused. "What's wrong?"

He sighed and walked into his room. She followed him and watched him as he busied himself packing and folding clothes.

"OK, I am going to say this again. WHAT IS WRONG?" She put her hands on her hips. He glanced at her with wide eyes.

"Nothing." He turned back and continued.

Meredith was so angry. She stormed to him and grabbed his arm and dragged him into the bathroom. She flicked on the light and pointed to the mirror.

"Look at yourself!"

"What?" He asked confused.

"Look, Justin. Look at yourself. You look like you could punch a wall and that your dog just died. DO NOT tell me nothing is wrong. I KNOW when something is bothering you. It is FINE if you don't want to talk about it. It is FINE! But DO NOT lie to me and tell me NOTHING is wrong when I know DAMN well you are upset about something."

She turned around and left the bathroom. He stood there and looked at himself. He did look upset.

"Meredith..." He sighed and walked out of the bathroom to find her putting some clothes in his suitcase.

"Justin, it is perfectly OK if you don't want to tell me. But don't act like nothing is wrong when something obviously is. OK?" She asked in a very sweet and caring voice.

He walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug. She kept folding and packing as he held on. He gently grabbed her wrist to stop her and kissed her cheek from behind.

"Sit with me." He whispered. She obliged and watched as he sat down on the floor. She sat in-between his legs and leaned back against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm scared of going on this trip without security." He said in a voice barely even a whisper. Meredith just nodded.

"I'm scared that if people find out I'm there they might track us down. I'm even more scared of what they will do when they see us together." He sighed and leaned his head on the side of the bed that he was leaning against. "I'm so tired of living like this. I just wish I could go out to eat and not have put reservations in another name. I hate going out at 10 at night and wearing sunglasses. I feel like an idiot. I hate my security gate. I feel like a prisoner in my OWN house. I just wish I could be anonymous." Meredith just listened intently as he kept going on and on.

"Meredith I really, really want to tell the public about you." She turned her head sharply to his and looked at him in shock. "I want people to know that we are together. I can't keep telling people you are my cousin whenever we go out, the very FEW times we get to go out. But I'm scared of what might happen to you. I don't care what the fans think; I don't care what the press says. But I DO NOT want you to be hounded. I don't want you to live the life I do. Anonymity is a gift I took for granted. I can barely even remember a time when I had it." He let out a deep breath and she turned on the floor so that now she was facing him and resting on her knees. She saw that one tear had escaped and she wiped it away for him.

"Truthfully, I don't know what to say." She bit her lip.

"I know, I'm not asking for a response. I just wanted you to know." He put his hands on his bent knees and gave her a half grin.

She thought for a while and finally spoke. "Do you want Lonnie to go with us?"

He looked at her and slowly licked his lips in nervousness. She nodded and grinned. "I'll call him."

"Thanks. You don't mind?" He asked sincerely.

"Not at all." She smiled and he returned it.

"Thank you. Thank you so much, baby." She turned back around and resumed her position between his legs.

"I think with the whole press thing. Just, don't lie anymore. If someone asks you who I am, tell them the truth. If the press gets a picture of us together, then oh well. And if an interviewer asks you directly if and who you are dating you can say yes or me."

"Are you sure?" He asked with a furrowed brow. She nodded.

"I'm tired of lying as much as you are Justin. We are both private people. But you can only take so much. And about not wanting me to live the life that you do. It's too late; because, being with you means I have to live your life to some degree. And while I don't like some of the parts, like this, it doesn't matter. I've never been happier than I am when I'm with you. I don't care about all this crap. It doesn't matter."

He sighed happily and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you. And I'm happy with you too, ya know."

"Yeah, I know." She said smart-alecky. "I love this."

"What?" He asked kissing her temple.

"Just sitting with you. Spending time with you. Cuddling. It's so, I don't know, romantic?" Meredith turned her head to face him.

"Yeah, we are pretty romantic couple. Others might not think so, but we are." Justin touched his nose to hers and leaned down to capture her lips.

-----------------------

Meredith lay on Justin bed, talking on the phone, and he stood folding the freshly clean clothes she had washed for him.

"So, you don't mind? Not one bit?" Meredith asked.

"No. It's fine. None of us really want you two going by yourself anyway. This will make a lot of people happy."

"Lonnie you are the best."

"I know, I just have to find me a ticket and reservations but I don't think it will be that big of a deal."

She sighed. "I love you."

"I know, I know. Night Mere, keep that boy in line."

"Will do. Bye bye." Meredith hung up the phone and looked at Justin.

"Well?" He asked.

"He said he'd be happy to and that this will make a lot of people less stressed out."

"No joke." Justin chuckled. After a few moments of special silence, Justin gasped.

"Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you."

"What?" Meredith sat up on his bed, resting against the fully pillows and headboard.

"I got these new boxers. You are going to freak." He searched through a drawer and finally found what he was looking for. He threw them at her.

They were black with orange writing that said "Beware of Dog". She laughed and threw them back at him.

"Those are funny. But, not as funny as some of the other underwear I know you have." She giggled.

"What are you talking about?" Justin asked curiously.

"Oh well, I just didn't know you wore tighty whiteys." She tried not to giggle.

"I do not." Justin said quietly.

"THEN WHAT ARE THESE?" Meredith asked loudly with laughter picking up the pair from the bottom of the pile of freshly washed clothing. Justin blushed and glared at her.

"Don't pick on me." He mumbled as he picked up the now full suitcase and put it on the floor. He crawled onto be bed with her as she kept on laughing.

"I thought you were an all boxer boy, and only wore boxer-briefs when performing, or wearing niiiice TIGHT leather pants." She smiled evilly at him now lying on his side with his elbow bent and head in his open palm.

"So what if I have some briefs. I know you have a thong." He poked at her stomach.

"I do NOT own a thong." Meredith protested.

"Don't lie. I saw it in your laundry basket last Wednesday when you cooked me dinner. It was even black." He smiled and kissed her cheek before resting his head on her shoulder

"OK! So I bought a thong. But don't think I did it for you. I just didn't want my panty line showing when ..nevermind." She stopped, knowing she had already said too much.

"Nuh uh. Don't nevermind me. What?" He looked at her smiling but with seriousness.

"Don't worry about it. It's a surprise."

"YIPPEE!!" Justin yelled like a little kids.

In a desperate attempt to change the subject she spoke. "Hey, HBO is showing Cruel Intentions tonight, wanna go watch it?" She looked at him hopefully.

"All right. I think you just like that movie because Ryan looks so much like me and you get to see his butt." They got off the bed and walked to his door.

"Exactly." She smiled.

They walked together down the hallway to the steps. "Ya know, if you want to see my ass, just ask me."

"Don't get your hopes up Timberfake. I do not care to see your ass." She grinned mockingly and walked in front of him to the game room. He laughed and walked faster to catch up with her.