Chapter 25

As soon as the doors opened, Meredith stumbled upward and slowly walked out of the elevator.  She wanted to run, she wanted more than anything just to run away.  But her legs would barely move.  She shuffled to the lobby and headed to the doors.  There were two people talking at the front desk but she didn't even realize they were there.

"Hey Girlie!!  How was the trip?  I haven't seen you in FOREVER!"  Dre called out to her.  She kept walking to the door and he looked at the secretary he was talking to and then back at Meredith, strangely.  She opened the door and walked out.  A slight Florida breeze wrapped her in coolness and she rubbed her upper arms to add a bit of warmth to her body, as she walked around the building.  She realized that she didn't have her car keys or anything with her, so she just plopped down on the curb of the sidewalk and watched the cars go by on the street a few hundred feet away. The sky was a very dim gray color.  There was an overcast and the sun wasn't even TRYING to shine. She was numb to the silent tears flowing from her.

Meanwhile....

Dre watched as Justin sprinted through the lobby.  He heard JC's and Lance's voice call out. 

"STOP HIM!" 

Dre knew it was something to do with Meredith.  From the tears he saw on both their faces.  So, he did what he was told.  He quickly walked to where Justin was at the door and grabbed his shoulders.

"Slow down, cowboy."

"LET ME GO DRE!"  He screamed, causing the secretary to widen her eyes in shock.  Just then, JC and Lance went up and helped Dre, who was actually struggling to keep Justin still.  Chris, Joey and Johnny weren't far behind. 

After a few more tries Justin went lax and sank against the wall holding his head in his hands.

"What's going on?"  Dre asked them, keeping a careful eye on Justin.

"Did Meredith go through here?"  JC asked.

"Yeah, she just walked outside about 5 minutes ago. Why?"  Dre asked still clueless.

JC jogged out the door.

Chris looked at Justin and looked at everyone else.  They were just standing there.  Johnny explained to Dre what he knew, as Joey and Lance talked to themselves trying to figure this out. Yet Justin was sitting there, all alone with no one.  So, Chris nominated himself to make him not so lonely.  Chris and Justin had always been extremely close.  They shared all the same interests.  Though the whole group considered each other brothers, Chris and Justin were truly the closest of friends.

"It'll work out J, it'll work out."  Chris said calmly as he sat down beside him.

Justin looked up and rubbed his hands all over his face.  "No, I feel it in my heart, Chris.  She doesn't want me back."

Chris put an arm around Justin and Justin leaned his crying face on Chris's shoulder.  At any other time, they would have been picked on and scolded for this movement.  But not know, this was too serious. 

This WAS serious.  Because everyone at that moment knew that if things didn't work out between Justin and Meredith, that Meredith might leave her job and Florida for that matter.  She was a friend to all the guys, but Justin was her main strength and support.  HE had given her a new life in Orlando, with a little bit of help from the guys.  But it was HIM who showed her that she needed to live in the moment and not the past.  The guys would lose it if she left.  They seriously needed her there.  They had found a need for her to do the small things for them, and they all loved her like a sister, except Justin that is, who loved her like a soul mate.  Because that's what they all believed that she was, his soulmate.  He believed it.  And she HAD believed it.

"Justin, she might not want you back, but she needs you back.  She can't just throw you away that easily.  She loves you way too much."

"No, she HATES me.  Did you see the way she treated me and acted towards me? She hates me."  Justin sniffled.

"She acts that way, but we all know Meredith.  She'll put on a front if she is scared.  And THAT'S what she is.  I bet you ANYTHING she is terrified.  Did you see her eyes Justin?  Did you?  They weren't mad or angry.  They were hurt and upset.  If she hated you she wouldn't be upset or hurt.  She LOVES you and THATS why she is so upset."  Chris took a deep breath and continued. 

"Now, I don't really know what happened that night, but I know you.  And I know you can do some stupid things.  This is kinda like deja vu, from this summer when we went to the beach.  But this is way more serious.  I also know that you love her. and.."

Justin pushed Chris away and shook his head. "Oh god Chris, if you only knew how much I love her.  If you ONLY knew.  I cant...I...I'm speechless."  Justin let out a quick sob and then his rage built up.  He screamed at the ceiling.

"DAMN ME TO HELL!  JUST DAMN ME, OHH GODDD..."  He covered his face in his hands.

Everyone was really shocked at Justin's outburst, he was acting like she had died.  They didn't realize that in a sense, she had.

"Justin what happened that night?"  Johnny asked after he had calmed down a bit.

"JC and Meredith went dancing and I was left with a group of people, everyone else started dancing and then Kim came up to me and I asked her to dance.  I mean it was just a dance, you know?  I've been over her for like 8 months now.  Anyway, so a slow song comes on, and we just continued to dance.  I saw Joey and Meredith dancing.  Oh gosh, I remember how cute she looked, dancing with you."  He pointed to Joey and let the back of his head hit the wall as he sorta smiled.  "You guys were going all out.  You were twirling and dipping her, and I wanted to be you so bad, but I knew I would get a chance to, later.  Sorry, didn't mean to.."

"It's OK J, just keep going."  Lance calmly smiled.

"So, Kim had a glass of wine in her hand, and she brought it up to take a sip, and somehow, I really don't know, she kinda tripped and the wine landed all over me.  Kim said that Chad had some extra shirts I could borrow in that hotel where everyone was staying.  She gave me a key and I went to the room.  I went in and looked through the suitcases there, feeling kinda weird, because I wad looking through someone else's stuff.  I took my shirt off thinking I had found the right suitcase and when I opened it, it was girls clothing.  Chad must have not even BEEN there."

Justin let out a painful sigh and continued.  "Then I heard the sound of a door open and I turned around and there she was.  Kim.  Only in her underwear.  She had come out of the bathroom.  I didn't know WHAT the hell was going on, and the next thing I knew she was kissing me.  I pushed her away and she got all "I miss you" type.  I was really confused by it all, so I sat down on her bed and then as soon as I did that she was on top of me.  I pushed her away several times, but she was much stronger than I thought and pulled me down with her.  Finally I got away from her and got out of there as soon as I could.  I..I didn't want to tell Meredith and her get all upset, so I was just going to wait.  I just was going to wait a few days until we got back.  I was going to tell her I swear.  I was going to right after they aired the statement on TRL, but she never showed.  She never...." 

Justin couldn't finish.  Chris stood up and offered Justin his hands.  "Why don't I take you home Justin?"  Justin looked up and reluctantly gave Chris his hands.

------

All this time, JC had been outside with Meredith.  He had walked around the building to find her just sitting there.  He walked up to her and sat down beside her.  They didn't speak for a good while.  She finally rested her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her.

"Why did I have to fall for him, Josh, why?"

"Fate, maybe?"

"Fate can go to hell."

"You don't mean that."

"I don't know what to do now, JC.  I'm lost."

"There isn't anything you HAVE to do Meredith."

She pulled away and looked at him. "Yes there is. I have school here, well kinda.  I'm surprised they haven't kicked me out, because I'm ALWAYS away and asking for assignments ahead of time.  I have a job, which, I don't know if you guys know this, but I LOVE my job.  I LOVE IT.  It's THE best job in the world.  I get paid very well. And I get to hang out with the people I care about. Even if it weren't you guys I would love it.  Do you KNOW how much fun it is?"  She managed a sort smile.

JC chuckled.  "No cant say that I do.  You LIKE doing our paper work."

"Shut up.  That's not important.  JC, I have a life here in Florida that I LOVE.  But, it..I can't see this life without Justin in it.  Ever since I fell for him I haven't seen my life without him.  I don't know if I can do this."

"Why don't you hear his side?"

"Because it doesn't matter."

"Meredith..."

"JC you haven't seen the pictures."

"So, you know how those things can be blurry and stuff.  You KNOW how tabloids are."

"You want to see the pictures?"

"You have them?" 

She nodded slowly. "Yeah they are in my car.  I was going to send them to Justin with a note saying it was over, but this happened before I had a chance."

"G..."

Meredith stood up. "I'll just go get my keys and we can look at them."

"Mere..."

"The funny thing is, is that he just made a statement saying that we were together, at least I think.  I never watched it.  Isn't that funny." Meredith forced a laugh and turned to walk back to the building and kept rambling on, and forcing laughter.

"MEREDITH!"  JC jumped up after her and turned her around.  She was now shaking instead on laughing and her eyes were shut tight, even though the tears fell from her eyes.  She clung to him as his arms went around him.

"What am I going to do?"  She whispered into his shoulder as she sobbed.  She started getting tired and he somehow noticed and picked her up.  She straddled the front of him and clung to him, as if she was a toddler and JC was her daddy. 

"You want me to drive you home?"

"Yeah."  She dragged out.

"OK. I'll take your car and I'll have someone else bring me back here OK?"

"OK."  She whispered again.

"Do you think you can go inside, he might still be there."

"I'll just close my eyes."  She sounded like a child.  She felt like one.  But she didn't care.  It felt very good to have someone to hold on to.  She had been SO alone the past few days and just to have someone hold her, was what she needed.

JC lifted her higher onto his torso, as she clung to him tighter.  She closed her eyes, and pretended to be asleep.  JC got to the glass doors. HE looked inside, and saw everyone standing around talking as Justin paced back and forth.  As soon as he opened the front door, everyone looked up at them in shock.  Before anyone had time to do anything else, JC brought a finger to his lips as to shush them and slightly nodded to the "sleeping" girl on his shoulder.  Justin, walked up to them, and JC wasn't sure what to do, so he just stood there as Justin eyed her.  The room was silent.

Justin spoke calmly, and lovingly, and scared all at the same time. "You're not sleeping.  I watch you sleep all the time. I KNOW when you are sleeping.  Your breathing isn't as loud and, and...nevermind."  Justin eyed her and let a single tear fall from his stained but dry cheeks.  She slowly lifted her head, and looked at JC.

"I'll go get my keys myself.  I'll be back in a few moments."  She lowered herself down, so that she was standing on the floor.

"You sure you don't want me to go with you?"  JC eyed Justin who was now staring at her.

"I'll be fine."  She turned and slowly walked down the hallway to the elevators, running a hand through her hair as she took it from the sloppy bun it was in.

Justin pleaded with JC to believe him, and surprisingly JC did.  JC thought Meredith was his sister, basically.  But he had known Justin for too long to know that he would NEVER pull something like this.  He still wanted to see the pictures.  Everyone did.

"I'll ask Meredith if I can show you the pictures once I see them, OK?"  JC said quietly to Justin as Meredith neared them down the hallway.  She got to JC and handed him her keys, she now had sunglasses over her red eyes. 

"Johnny, you don't mind if I-"

"Go ahead, call me if you can't make it tomorrow."  Johnny smiled at her and she nodded.  She walked on out the door, not looking back.  JC pushed the door opened and looked back at everyone standing there.  He finally turned to Justin.

"We will fix this.  It might take a while, but we will fix this.  I swear on my life."  With that he followed Meredith to her car.  He unlocked the doors and they both got in.  She picked up a brown envelope and JC stopped her.

"Let's look at them when we get back to your place."

"K."  She whispered and set the pictures back down.  He cranked the engine and left the parking lot.  The ride was silent.  JC concentrated on driving, and Meredith stared out the window. 

The drive ended and JC looked over at Meredith.  She was practically glued to the window.  But he did see the one, lone, fat tear, silently fall down her already soaked cheeks.

------------------------

3 weeks later

Meredith was BEAMING.  She was SO excited.  She clicked the keyless entry button to her car and smiled as the front lights flashed, as an indicator that the car had unlocked.  She hopped in the car and smiled as she pressed a button and the hood flew back.  Her hand put the keys in the ignition and she groaned as the soft purr of the engine started. She pushed a CD into her car and put her sunglasses over her eyes as the sounds of Limp Bizkits "Take a look around (Theme to MI:2)"  came on.  She put the CD player on pause and picked up her bright red Nokia phone and pressed 4 for speed dial.  She waited for about 5 rings and the answering machine picked up as she drove on to the Orlando Freeway, wind blowing through her newly colored hair.

"Hi, this is Josh.  I cant get to the phone right, now but if you-"

"Hello?"  JC picked up before the answering machine finished.

“JC?"

"Yeah, Meredith?"

"Hey boy WHATS UP!"  She said in a weird voice.

"You are in a good mood."

"No, I am in a FANTASTIC MOOD"  The voice continued on.

JC was confused by why she was acting this way. "Why?"

"Can I come over and show you?"

"Right now?"

"YEAH.  I'm already in my car."  She was acting a little snobby.

"OK. I guess its fine.  But umm, EVERYONE is over here."  He said straining the word 'everyone'.

"So?"

"So I mean...Justin...is over here." He whispered Justin's name.

"JOSH!  Oh my GAWD.  That was so, like forever ago.  I'm over him.  DONE! FINISHED!  So can I come over?"

JC was so confused now.  She was acting VERY strange.  "Yeah, I guess."

"OK.  Be waiting outside.  I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"We are outside playing Basketball anyway."

"Perfect.  CHIAO!"

"Uhh, yeah, bye."  Then JC realized that she had cut the phone off before he even got in the last word.  It was weird.  REAL weird.

Meredith had come to work everyday, after the day her and Justin broke up.  She stayed busy and every now and then went out to eat with a few of the guys but never Justin. 

Justin hardly spent anytime at the WEG building.  If there were a meeting he would always arrive late and leave early.  He hadn't done much with anyone in the past weeks.  Everyone knew that he was depressed.  His face was pale and his eyes were always red.  He had bags under his eyes and not ONE person had seen him laugh or smile in the last few weeks.  He was taking this REALLY hard.

Meredith was taking it, unusually well.  She never once seemed down or anything.  And she was actually CIVIL towards Justin.  If they were in a meeting, she didn't mind asking him a question, but he would usually mumble answers.  But, it wasn't like she was the same old person.  She had changed.  Ever since that day, everyone had noticed that she was slowly becoming more and more, materialistic, fake, and kinda bitchy.  JC and Chris had both commented on how she was wearing more make-up and become a lot flirtier.

But then again, everyone understood what was going on.

JC, had taken Meredith home that afternoon and seen the pictures of Justin and Kim.  He took them and showed them to everyone, including Justin.  Justin had calmed down significantly and explained each picture and what was going on in each of them.  Everyone believed Justin, because they knew how hard Justin was taking this, and they knew that he would NEVER do anything like this, especially to Meredith.

But no matter what anyone said, Meredith kept her belief in that Justin had cheated on her.  She was being stubborn and probably wouldn't have changed her mind if Kim herself had told her what had REALLY happened. 

JC and the rest of the Nsyncers, Dani, Leslie, and a "friend" of JC's, Whitney were all over at his house.  The guys were playing basketball, except for Joey who had recruited to talking on his cell phone with a girl he met at a club a few nights ago.  So there were all the guys, and their girls.  Except Justin.  Justin no longer had a girl.

"THAT'S MY BABY!"  Leslie yelled when Lance actually made a basket.

"Man, even I'm impressed!"  Chris smirked, slapping hands with his teammate.

"Lucky shot."  JC mumbled, passing the ball to Justin, his teammate.  Justin caught the ball and began dribbling, but stopped when they heard a slight rumble.

"What's that noise?"  Dani asked, getting up from her chair and walking towards the front of the house where the noise was coming from.  She rounded the corner and screamed.  All the rest of the gang dropped what they were doing and ran after her.  They rounded the corner and saw a NICE Arctic Silver, Porsche Boxster driving up, JC's long and winding driveway.

"No way that's her car!"  Whitney exclaimed.  She hadn't met Meredith but had heard a lot about her.  JC had already told everyone that she was coming. Justin wanted to leave, but JC made him stay and finish the game.

"No, that's NOT her car.  She has an Acura."  Chris said slowly.

The car vanished behind a hill and soon reemerged, closer to the house.  The music was BLARING. Lance noticed the song being a silverchair fan, along with Meredith.  It was silverchairs "I'm a freak".  The car came to a skidding halt about a foot from the rear of Justin's Blue BMW Roadster.  His eyes widened at the sight.  Then his mouth dropped as she opened the door to the car and stepped out.  Everyone was doing the same thing: Looking her up and down.

She shut the car door and they just stared as she swayed her hips provocatively towards the group. 

There getting out of a BRAND NEW Porsche was Meredith.  She was wearing 3 inch black heels, tight black stretch pants that hugged and accented every curve.  Her shirt was a men's white, button up long sleeve dress shirt, that had one button buttoned right in the middle of her chest and the ends of the shirt were tied in a knot right under that button.  The ends of the shirt, hung over her exposed stomach.  The sleeves were rolled up to right above her elbows.  Her lips were coated in a dark, yet shiny lipstick that made her lips shimmer and stand out.  She had sunglasses over her eyes and her hair was highlighted with auburn, blonde, and other shades of brown.  It was heavily layered, which wasn't anything new, but she looked VERY different.  She looked like....

She looked like a new version of Kim.

"Sup yall."  She purred throwing her keys in the air and catching them with the same hand.  She took her sunglasses off and perched them on top of her head showing her dark eye shadow.

“When did you get that car?"  Dani exclaimed.

"Yesterday."  She smiled flirtatiously at all the guys.

"When did you get your hair highlighted?" Lance asked nervously.

"This morning."  She flipped it off her shoulder.  "So, what do yall think?"

"It's..cool." JC forced a smile.

"KILLER CAR G!"  Chris yelled running to the car, more interested in that than in the "New" Meredith that stood in front of them.

"Damn girl."  Joey breathed checking her out and heading to the car.  As he walked behind her he turned around and starred at her some more.  He raised his eyes to the rest of the people, in front of her and mouthed 'Oh my god.'

"Hi, I'm Meredith.  Who are you?"  Meredith said in that weird voice.

Whitney looked at JC then at Meredith.  "I'm Whitney."  Meredith just nodded. 

Justin took in a sharp breath.  Seeing her like this was too much.  It wasn't her sexy outfit or new car.  But it was the way she was acting.  It was like everything that she WASNT, she had turned into.  Everything that he loved about her for NOT being, she was.  He just sat back in disgust.  He had become depressed, but his sadness was turning into anger with each passing day. 

-How DARE she come here after the hell she's been putting me through. How DARE she.  What a bitch.-

"Justin, check this out.  She's got a 10 disk Boze changer in this puppy.  She's definitely got your milk."  Chris yelled from the driver's side of her car.  Meredith giggled flirtatiously at Chris who was beeping the horn.  Dani noticed.

She and Meredith had become VERY good friends and she didn't like this change.  Meredith was always friendly with the guys, but never flirty.  Especially with CHRIS.  HER Chris

Justin pushed himself off of the brick wall/barrier he was leaning on and walked over to her car.  Staring her down, evilly on his way.  Meredith looked at him and smiled a smug smile.  He looked up at the sky and shook his head, continuing his walk to her car.

"Damnnnn, what's wrong with him?"  Meredith said rolling her eyes.

"Maybe he is a little upset that he got dumped 3 weeks ago for NO reason."  Dani said turning around and walking into the house slamming the door behind her.

Meredith sucked air quickly through her teeth and JC thought for a moment she was going to snap her finger at her. "What's HER problem?" 

"What's HER PROBLEM?  What's YOUR problem?" Leslie retorted putting her hands on her hips and looking at Meredith strangely.

"UGH!  Is it NATIONAL PMS day?  What's up with all the bitchy attitudes?"  Meredith gave a snobbish look and waved Leslie away with the back of her hand and turned around.

She was met face to face with Justin.

"No, I don't think its National PMS day.  But YOU sure as hell have the BITCHY ATTITUDE part down.  WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Justin yelled accusatoringly to her. 

Meredith's snobbish look dropped and her eyes return to the way they were 3 weeks ago. Hurt and Upset.

If this whole charade was the pre-show, everyone hated to see was the next act would bring.  Everyone around them stared at each other.  Something was about to happen.  They all could sense it.

Justin and Meredith stood 2 feet apart, killing each other with their stares. 

"What the hell do you THINK I'm doing Justin?  I'm DOING EXACTLY what you want me to do."

"How in any way is acting like a snobby bitch and dressing like a slut what I want?"  Justin glared at her.

Meredith's face was now only sorrowfilled and nothing else.  Her head bowed. "It's how Kim acted."

Justin couldn't believe he was hearing this. "First of all, WHEN will you realize that I didn't do anything with her.  I was TRYING to push her away.  Everyone else believes it, why cant you?  SECOND, you are the one that broke up with me."

Meredith looked up and shook her head.  "WAIT A MINUTE HERE!  Why are you mad?  I'm the one that is supposed to be mad.  I'm the one who got cheated on."

"I DIDNT CHEAT ON YOU!!!"  A crowd had formed around them.  Chris and Joey had returned from her car and stood beside Lance, who was holding on to Leslie's hand.  Whitney was just looking at JC, expecting him to explain.  He had told her about their breakup but not much detail.  JC just stared at the two fighting.  Danielle had heard the commotion and walked outside, only to stop dead in her tracks when she saw what was happening.

"There are pictures."  Meredith voice was quiet.

Justin looked at her trembling chin and knew she was breaking.  His voice softened a bit. "Will you look at the pictures again?  Dammit, cant you see how my eyes are open while she's she's...ugh.  I'm trying to push her away.  CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?  Or are you too far up in your own little world that you don't give a damn about the truth.  I never knew you were this stubborn."

As his voice changed to more accusatory, Meredith got very defensive. "Don't you see that no matter what you say or do I won't believe you.  You lied, you cheated, and now you are going to have to pay."

Justin pointed to her and yelled. "THAT'S THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!!  You don't believe me.  Which means you don't trust me.  You never did.  And THAT'S the problem.  I trusted you with my LIFE.  I still do.   And I will till I am under ground, DEAD.  You know why?  DO YOU KNOW WHY MEREDITH?"  When she didn't move or answer, he grabbed the sides of her face, cupping her cheeks and forcing her to look at him.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!  YOU ARE MY..."  His voice soften and a tear dropped from his eye. "...everything.  You are what I need.  I'm dead right now without you.  Some one might as well shoot me, because I'm more useful dead than alive."

A tear fell from Meredith's own eye and she whispered. "Don't say that."

Justin dropped his hands and crossed his arms over his chest. "WHY?  It's not like you give a damn.  You HATE me.  YOU HATE ME!  If you LOVED me you would be in my arms right now, instead of standing there looking lost.  IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD HAVE BELIEVED ME!  I can't BELIEVE I actually fell for someone who didn't love me.  I guess I'm just an idiot because it's happened to me about A HUNDRED times now.  I thought you were different, Meredith.  I thought you were THE one.  I guess I was wrong."  He turned around and began walking away but Meredith voice stopped him.

More like Meredith's scream. "HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!"

HE turned and narrowed his eyes at her. "What?"

"How DARE you accuse me for not loving you.  How DARE you say that I hate you.  How DARE you write off our relationship like that.  Our relationship has been the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE.  I've spent the last 10 months DEDICATED to you JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.  Ever since that day in the bus right after....ugh, KIM...decided to tell you that SHE CHEATED ON YOU, I KNEW you were the one for me.  HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M NOT THE ONE!!!!!!!"

The silence only made the realization hit harder.  Justin's angry and hurt eyes disappeared and ones of hope filled them.  Meredith looked down at his feet and she figured out, finally, what had happened.

She had been wrong.

She realized that she should have believed him.  She realized that she did all along, but her good 'ol brain had been working for her instead of her heart.  She realized that SHE was the one.  She realized that HE was the one.  She realized that she was SO ashamed of herself at that very moment, she was afraid to even be near him.  She was afraid she might hurt him again.

She had put him through SO much pain.  If only she would have let him explain.  If only she knew how much he DID love her.  She finally realized that.  That he really did love her.  All her life she had been waiting for him.  For her perfect prince to come carry her away.  And when he came, she didn't believe it.  She thought it was a dream.

She realized this wasn't a dream.  This was her life.  THIS was reality.

Yet how in the world was she supposed to let him hold her and tell her he loved her after ALL the pain he had been living the past few weeks. While he had actually shown his hurt, SHE had bottled it up inside and even convinced herself she was OK.  She was good at doing that, bottling things inside.

All the emotions of the past 3 weeks hit her like a brick.  All the pain, hurt, suffering, disappointment, loneliness, and longing, hit her and she lost control. 

Yet she just stood there.

Justin's gray sneakers slowly stepped forward.  His navy running pants made a noise as his two legs brushed against each other. His plain white shirt got closer to her. And his beautiful lips and perfect teeth were for the first time in weeks, smiling.  Memories rushed her when their eyes connected.   How many times had she looked in those eyes and gotten lost?  So many.  She could she her self reflected in his eyes, and it scared her to see that she was crying, HARD.  It scared her EVEN more when she saw her soul, and his... together in his eyes.

He brought a hand up and gently brushed away her tears that were heavy with mascara with his fingertips.  She closed her eyes as the touch of him made her weak.

Then he spoke one word, one word that made her heartbreak.

"Angel..."  He smiled and whispered.

All hell broke lose in her brain and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming.  His eyebrow connected in thought as his head tilted to the side at her confused expression. 

She trembled and looked back into those wonderful eyes.  "I'm sorry."

And with that she ran past him and jumped into her car, starting the engine and backing out.  It took Justin a while to realize what had happened but as soon as he did, he had jumped into his car and sped off after her. 

It looked like James Bond or Mission Impossible was taking place.  Two luxurious convertibles casing down a winding road.  Actually it kinda looked like that scene out of Bye Bye Bye.  Yet, this time, it was the GUY chasing after the girl. 

Justin was right on her tail and as JC's driveway neared the road he was very close to hitting her, as she had to stop and wait for a car to pass.  He was going to try something, anything, but Meredith had skidding out onto the road, spinning a tire in the process.

Justin followed her all the way to the Orlando freeway.  Meredith was doing about 95, zipping past cars and trucks.  She unexpectedly merged to the right and got off at her exit.  But Justin was quick and followed her. 

She got a plan.  She put on the breaks and slowed down to 20 mph in a 40mph zone.  Her cell phone was ringing but she ignored it.  As Justin tailed her only a few feet away from her rear, she quickly changed gears and sped to a nice 60 mph, in seconds.  She was glad she had this car, with her other, Justin and her would be talking right about now. The light in front of her turned yellow and she pressed down the accelerator as far as it could go and flew under the light RIGHT before it turned RED, never looking in her rear-view mirror. 

She made a sharp right turn and took a back route to her apartment building.  After 2 more minutes she arrived at her home.  Justin, thankfully had not followed her, but she had some bad feeling.  Some weird gut feeling that something bad, awful had happen.  But she didn't know what.

She thought it was probably her shame sinking in.  She didn't want Justin to have her.  He was too precious and good for her.  She had hurt him in the worst way and now, all she wanted to do was to sulk in her misery. 

She opened her apartment door and went straight to the TV.  She unplugged it.  Next was the CD player and radio.  Then finally her phones.  Even her computer was shut off.  Anything that could possibly be used as a communicator was turned off.

She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.  Her heels were kicked off and she walked barefoot out onto her balcony.  She untied the knot in her shirt and let it cover her stomach. She pulled the chair closer to her and shook her head at the ash tray and cigarette ashes that were lying on the floor of the balcony. 

She had sworn to herself when she was little and watched her grandpa die of heart failure, that she would NEVER smoke.  He had been a heavy smoker.  Yet in the past few weeks she had bought her first lighter and her first pack of cigarettes, first SEVERAL packs, to calm her nerves. She was disgusted with herself.

She sat down in the chair and propped her feet up on the railing of her balcony.  She opened the bottle and took a long, needed gulp of the water. 

She stayed out there for hours.  Listening to the music of the Orlando evening begin to sound.

At one point she heard ambulance sirens that were faint but clear.  At the noise, her gut got that weird feeling again.  And again she wrote it off as her shame.