This was becoming a little bit familiar.

A little TOO familiar for Alexandria's liking. It seemed like now every single time she woke up in Justin's bed in the morning, he wouldn't be there. She sat up and looked over at the clock, keeping the sheet around her torso as she squinted to see what time it was. The clock was flashing 3:47 am. The power had come back on and Justin hadn't bothered to change the time. She looked around the room, seeing Justin's piled clothing in his chair and her own clothing scattered on the floor.

Justin had fallen asleep shortly after the events of the night before, but Alex lay there, exhausted and sleepy, but unable to get her mind to stay still. And now as she scrambled around to get some clothes on everything hit her...again.

There was something off with what had happened the night before. Justin had been fairly forceful, and yet in the middle of everything when she looked up at his sweaty face...he looked like he was in pain. He looked like he hated this. And that scared her.

She thought it was her imagination, but when he collapsed on to her she could have sworn she heard him mutter an "I'm sorry."

Alex shook her head as she closed the bedside tables drawer shut, blocking the small box of condoms that rested inside there from her view. She took the foil wrapper that was lying on the floor beside her jeans and threw it quickly in the trashcan.

She had a bad feeling. A VERY bad feeling. She didn't like the way he was last night. It wasn't like she minded being with him that way; it was the way that he seemed during it all. The vibes that she usually got made her tingly and almost overpowered with love. But last night's vibes were almost like he was somewhere else. His mind wasn't on her or what they were doing.

When her hand touched the doorknob to open the door to the rest of the house, the rest of her world, she had some weird feeling to look back at his bed. The sheets were all wrinkled, her pillow had fallen off the bed and his was scrunched up.

She hated this. She hated not waking up next to him. In a way she was starting to miss him. And her thoughts from the day before about him pulling away were starting to be more clearly impressed in her brain.

The air condition seemed to be working a little too well when she carefully went down the steps. She was just in his boxers and her T-shirt from the day before, but the house had never seemed this cold before.

A boom of thunder sounded when she reached the foyer and she peered outside to see that it was still raining...Hard.

Dr. Ellis and Dave were right. This storm was heavy, and it wasn't going anywhere.

But when she heard one word be spoken from Justin, the storm seemed to rage inside. This was become way too familiar. It was like deja vu. She heard his voice in the kitchen. She heard him say "Trace..." into the phone.

She immediately got worried.

It was like a dog seeing someone unfamiliar pull up their driveway. Her eyes widened, her ears seemed to pick up every sound, and uncertainty crossed her features. She had never met Trace, and it wasn't that she didn't like him, she didn't even know him. But the last time she had heard Justin and him talk on the phone had caused a lot of turmoil.

She didn't think Trace was a problem, but now when she thought of Justin talking to him on the phone she had this remembrance of their day apart.

She nervously stepped into the kitchen.

If she thought it was deja vu before, this was REALLY deja vu. He was sitting there in jeans and a tee shirt, like always at the bar of his kitchen island. The phone was pressed to his ear, his shoulders were slumped and his head was slightly lowered.

Alexandria bit her dry lips and waited...

"I don't know anymore...It's like we aren't even close...last night I wasn't even acting myself...I'm getting very weird feelings...I'm so worried about it, Trace. I mean, this isn't me. I don't know if there is a future with Alexan, with Lexia...see, I'm starting not to call her by her nickname that I ALWAYS call her. Maybe I'm just thinking to much, but it's been on my mind for about a week now. Ever since we got into a fight over me talking about sex. I mean, come on I'm a GUY! What if I'm just wasting my time...we don't have a lot in common...what?...Yeah, I KNOW I'm rambling...yeah, I know that..."

Justin went silent, listening to what Trace had to say. Alex's world began to spin. He had doubts. She had her doubts too, but they weren't like this. They had never been like this. Her ears started to ring, and her mouth went dry.

"...Trace the truth is, I'm so infatuated with her....no, I'm not saying that I'm not in love, its just like she's becoming this obsession and I know how those aren't healthy, I mean just look at Nsync fans...ha, yeah I know right?..."

She started to gasp, and her eyes welled up with tears. Why didn't he say something before? She would have worked it out. Just yesterday he said he "needed and wanted" her. What happened now?

"...I think I need a break from it..."

Her heart broke in two.

"...Everything, man. It's all becoming too much. I thought this time to work on the album would be stress-free but I got so much on my mind and...I hate saying this but I'm really scared that a girlfriend is one of the things that is holding me back..."

Her heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

"...and another thing is, I don't know if I can trust her....no, I mean I don't think she will do anything like that, but what if one day she tells someone about me, what if she has a change of heart and wants me just for money....I know, I know, but that fear is in me Trace...it always will be....I told you how she acted with the tabloid thing that happened in February...It took her a while to get use to it...what if something else happens. I mean, its likely that if we stay together the press will get to her eventually...she has no idea what its like to be a celebrity. That's why it was cool with me and Brit, she understood me. Lexia doesn't..."

Alexandria's body stiffened. She thought she understood him. That's why she had done so much and given so much and shared so much with him. Did he not realize how much he meant to her? Did he not need her anymore...like she needed him?

She felt as if she was watching a horror movie but she couldn't close her eyes or turn her head from the gory scene. Her eyes and ears were forced to watch and hear him. She didn't notice her breathing get deeper and she didn't even feel the tears slipping down her cheeks.

The house seemed cool before, now it was like ice.

She shivered.

Justin's neck craned a bit to look outside and he slid off the stool. A clap of thunder made him slightly jump and he spoke into the phone. "...Listen dude, It's stormin' like mad over here. I need to get off the phone before I get electrocuted or something. But I'll call ya later on about all this...yeah, I'll try...later man..."

She heard the phone beep off and her icy blue eyes glazed over as he broke off a piece of toast that she hadn't noticed he had beside him and sauntered to the birdcage and fed it to Chester. She stared as he put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the bird, eating in the large cage.

"You are one messy bird..." He mumbled, shaking his head.

He turned his head towards the outside watching the rain and wind and thunder. He thought about his conversation with Trace. It all boiled down to one emotion. And that was fear. Justin was scared out of his mind. It was hitting him how much he was becoming dependent on this girl, and he didn't need another dependency in his life. He was scared as to what Alex would do when he went on tour, when the Nsync frenzy was revved up again. It was pretty bad now, but when they were out there selling albums and touring and doing interviews, it seemed like the fanaticism exploded to a higher height than ever before.

And he was terrified that she might not be able to handle it. And then...he would be left alone.

He shook his head from his negative thoughts and turned his eyes away from the puddles forming in his backyard. He stretched his body by reaching his arms over his head and clasping his hands together, trying to make himself as tall as possible. He tried to manage to get all the kinks out and finally slumped his body back into regular position. A sigh escaped his lips and he turned around on his heels and stepped away from the door and back to...

He stopped.

He had never seen her look like that before in his entire life. In fact, he didn't think he could think of a time ever seeing anyone look like that. Her cheeks glistened with tears, her eyebrows were bunched together and her bottom lip was trembling terribly.

She looked hurt, betrayed, sad, disappointed, scared, and innocent all at the same time.

She had just heard everything he had said to Trace. In a way he was glad...but seeing her like this made him feel like he had just had his heart ripped from his chest and someone was running around him with it in their hands, making him chase after it.

"Lexia...I..."

She sobbed and covered her mouth with her hand.

"..listen, I didn't..."

"No.." She whispered. She shook her head and took in a deep breath. "...answer me this..."

Justin's jaw tightened when he saw a flash of pure anger in her eyes. "...when were you going to tell ME you were leaving me?..."

He thought he hadn't heard her correctly of something. He never said that. She was implying things and taking them way out of context. "I never said that I was leaving you." His voice became stern.

"You didn't have to. I kinda figured that out with the whole 'its not healthy, I can't trust her, she doesn't understand me, it's a waste of my time' speech I just heard." Her voice cut through the heavy air and hit him in the stomach.

Justin knew that if he stayed in that moment right now he would lose it. His now bumbling temper would boil over and burn everything around it if he didn't forget about this. His emotions were high, and the last thing he needed to add to his list of emotions was anger. He needed to get away from her for just a little bit. "I can't deal with this right now..." He walked towards the foyer, passing her as he walked.

"Oh you just can't deal with ME right now, that's it, isn't it?" She grabbed his arm forcefully and shouted at him.

His pot boiled over.

"Dammit stop screaming and don't grab at me like you are one of my fuckin' fans!"

He didn't realize what he had just said when he walked to the coat closet, pulled out his raincoat and tugged it on.

Alexandria froze.

His temper had just burned her in the worst of ways.

He pulled his keys from his pocket and opened the front door to exit this house and this bad atmosphere.

But Alex growled after him. "Don't you ever compare me to one of those girls that grabs at you Justin! Don't you DARE think of me like that! Or do you? Am I one of the girls that gives your brothers nightmares? HUH? Am I just a body for you to use? Someone that annoys you but is sooo obsessed with you, you know you can have their way with them? Is that what I am to you? Am I just your damn whore?"

He stood there for a minute before looking over his shoulder, his eyes piercing almost hatefully into her own. Anger was just added to that list. "You use to not be, but you are sure starting to fit into the whole whore roll. Very nicely I might add."

With that he turned back around sharply and slammed the door shut behind him before being pelted down with rain.