Home sweet Home. 

I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am that we’re finally in Tennessee.  I can’t wait to see everyone, and to get a chance to hang out and have some fun.  Not that performing isn’t fun, but the bar scene in Memphis kicks ass and I’m totally ready to get drunk.

I always make sure there’s an extra day when we stop in Memphis so everyone can go out and not have to worry about getting up the next day.  It’s a good chance for all of us to unwind and enjoy ourselves for a minute.

I’m excited because Jill’s on her way too.  She’s been pretty busy with the show lately, and she told me she’s got some auditions coming up, which is exciting, it just means we barely talk now.

Sometimes I think dating someone in the business is a good thing, because they know what it’s like to deal with the pressures and all that, but at the same time…she’s busy as hell and so I am.  It gets pretty lonely on tour and I figured she’d be able to spend time with me, but now she’s really getting serious on the show so she doesn’t have any time to take off.

Not gonna lie, I need to get laid.

Not that that’s the only reason I want to see my girl, but c’mon, I am a man, I have needs.  Speaking of my girl, she’s supposed to be here in about and hour and I can’t wait.

We’re all going out after the show tonight, and we have the whole day tomorrow off, which means I’m going to my Gran’s and getting some of that amazing home cooking.  I might be looking forward to her peach cobbler more than sex…OK, so that’s a lie, but it is damn good cobbler.

The only down side to this whole stop in Memphis is that along with Jill, John’s flying in too.  I try and stay out of the personal lives of my friends and tour mates, but it’s pretty damn difficult when I’m constantly watching Abbey cry over something the douche bag has said.  I can’t believe she’s allowing him to still come out here.  I know she’s hoping they can work things out, but I just want him to make one more mistake so he can be gone for good.

I can’t figure out where it comes from, or why it’s there, but I feel fiercely protective over Abbey and I can’t stand the idea of some asshole coming out here and ruining any good time she might have.

Whatever, that’s not what I’m going to focus on right now.

“Hey fucker, what’s up?”  Trace barrels into my dressing room and I can’t help the grin that stretches across my face.  He’s been here for a couple of days and I shouldn’t be admitting this aloud, but I missed his ugly mug.  He’s been back in LA taking care of William Rast stuff, so he hasn’t been able to spend much time, but even he wouldn’t be dumb enough to miss the Tennessee stop.

“Hey dick head,” I throw a chip at him from the bag I’m eating out of and he catches it in his mouth with a grin.  “Where have you been?”

He plops down on the couch next to me and snatches the bag out of my hands.  “I had a conference call with Billy, and then I had to chase after this hot piece of ass I saw in the lobby.”

I raise an eyebrow at him, “And?”

He shrugs. “Not so hot close up.  She had a mustache.”  I let out a deep laugh.  This is why this kid is my best friend.

“I thought you were banging that chick, what’s her name?  Katie?”  I grab the bag back and hold it out of his reach when he tries to steal it again.  “Get your own bag.”

“I was with Katie, but she got a little boring and predictable after a while.”  He stands up to find something else to much on from the table the venue provided me with.  “She kept asking if she could come out on this trip with me.  She claimed it was to see my roots, but after the fifth time she dropped your name I just had that feeling.”

Ouch.  “Sorry man.”  This thing happens a lot, and I feel bad that he can’t seem to find a good girl.

“It’s OK, she was pretty kinky.  The sex was definitely worth it.”

I laugh and catch the bottle of water he tosses my way.  It’s so great to have a chance to be one of the guys again.  I’ve been spending way too much time with Rachel and Abbey that I was afraid I’d lost my man card.

“Speaking of freaks, when’s Jill getting here?”  I throw him a glare for the freak comment.  Trace tolerates Jill enough, but sometimes I think he only does it for my sake.  I’m not sure why, though, because she’s pretty mild compared to some of the other girls I’ve been with.

“She should be here in an hour.  Rachel’s getting her and Abbey’s folks and John at the airport.”

“Ahh, family affair.  I’ll bet Abs is excited.”  I watch as he starts to wrestle with Buckley and laugh at the drool my dog gets all over his back.  That’ll teach him.

“She doesn’t know about her Mom and Dad being here.  John was supposed to be a surprise too, but the fucker ruined that one.”

“Not too fond of the boyfriend, I take it.”  I send Trace a look that expresses the understatement he just made.

“I swear he makes her cry just about every other day.  He even went as far as to accuse her of sleeping with me in order to get her record deal.”

“Shit.  And she’s still with him?”  I have to laugh when Buckley starts to hump Trace’s leg.  The look on his face is priceless.

“Yeah.  I think she wants to be able to work shit out while he’s here.  I just hope he doesn’t ruin the weekend.  I might have to fuck him up if he does.”

Trace stops his attempt to remove my dog from his leg to stare at me.  “What?”  I’m really confused as to why I’m getting ‘the look’.

“Justin, why the fuck do you care about Abbey’s personal life?”  I shrug and the look just gets worse.  “Seriously, dude.  Who cares if they get into it while he’s here?  She’s a big girl, she can handle it.  And if it gets that bad, she’s got a couple of body guards to take care of it for her.  You know that getting involved is only going to end badly.”

I stop to think about his words but I can’t seem to completely agree with his logic.

“I know.  I’m just protective of her.  After the millionth time of watching her break down and cry because of this asshole I’ve gotten a little involved.”

“Wow.  Justin’s turning into a softy.”  I chuck my water bottle at his head and laugh when it hits him in the mouth.  “Fuck!”

“Don’t fuck with me, dick head.”

“Whatever.  You’re just pissed because I’m right and you’re turning into a pussy.”

“No way in hell, little man.”  He stops rubbing at his lip and stares at me, a smirk on his face.

“OK, maybe it’s not because you’re turning into a pussy.”  There’s a pause and I’m sure that I’m not going to like what’s about to come out of his mouth.  “Maybe it’s because you’ve got a thing for our little Abra Kadabra, and you want John gone so you can have her to yourself.”

There’s a moment of solid silence before I fall over onto the couch and crack up laughing.  That has to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in a long time.

“You’re seriously messed up if that’s the conclusion you’re coming to.”  Brennan comes over and starts to lick my face.  I have to stop laughing or she’ll stick her tongue in my mouth.  Hey, it’s happened before.

“Right.  Well, then you must be a pussy.”  He grins at me.  The grin slips though, when Buckley attempts to mate his leg again.

“Apparently Bucks thinks you’re one too.”  I get the bird in response.

Have I mentioned that I am so happy to be home?

~*~

I’m cranky.

Now, I should start by saying that I had the best damn time out on the town last night, and I’m currently getting pampered by both my mother and my grams, so I should be content.  But I’m cranky.

Last night’s show was one of the best we’ve had.  I don’t know if it’s just because the home town crowd always feels more alive, or if we really pulled together more, but I’m so proud of everyone for a kick ass show.  Even Abbey’s set was more amazing than usual.

After the show we all got together and headed out to the local bars, which I love.  A lot of the places around here have come to expect me when I’m in town, so it’s usually easy to get in and out without a lot of hassle.  The owners know not to advertise or allow tons of people in, so things stay low key and everyone has a great time.  In fact, it was so great I don’t even remember much of it.  It’s the eighth shot of tequila where things start to get fuzzy.

I got to sleep in this morning, which is a blessing in and of itself.  There are very few days while on tour that I get the luxury of sleeping in without anything pressing to pull me out of bed.  What helped even more was that I woke up next to my woman and I no longer have the problem of needing to get laid. Heh.

But that brings me to my current crankiness. 

Jill’s been on conferences calls and out to meetings all fucking day.  She stayed in bed with me this morning until about 10, and I’d fallen asleep so when I woke up she was gone and instead of finding my girl I found a note.  That sucks.  Apparently the only time she could audition for this movie role was while she was here in Memphis, so she’ll be gone for most of the day and she won’t be able to stay with me tomorrow, either.  I’m pretty pissed, actually.

I mean, I don’t want to stop her from finding work, and I’m excited that she’s got offers, but I can’t believe that the only time she gets to come see me she’s fucking working the whole time.  I just wanted to hang out and relax with her.  Mom was a little upset too, because she figured that Jill would be with me today and she knows that Jill’s absence is the reason for my crankiness.

I can’t even seem to enjoy myself now.

I don’t know.  Something feels off with us.  I mean, it was so great to get to see her, and I loved knowing that she was in the audience watching.  It just made me want to perform even better.  And I’m not going to lie, the sex was incredible too.  There’s nothing like ‘I-haven’t-seen-you-in-weeks-and-it’s-been-even-longer-since-we’ve-boned-sex’.  It’s great.

But after all that…it just feels off.  I want to say she’s being distant, but that’s a little obvious because she’s not even here right now.  I hate to think that our spark is fizzling out, but maybe that’s it?  I don’t know.  I just know that I want my girl to be here and it’s pissing me off that she’s not.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pray that it’s Jill calling to tell me she’s on her way.

It’s not.

“Hey Jude.”

“Well, hey, don’t sound so excited to hear from me, Boss man.”  Her cheery voice comes across the line and it’s nice to know that someone’s having a good time.

“Sorry.  Bad day.”

“What, peach cobble burnt?”  Oh, she did not just say that.

“Fuck off, Jude,” I’m kidding when I say it, but I do take offense to any bad comments about Grams’ cooking.  “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to see how things were going.  My parents wanted to invite you and Jill and whoever else out to dinner with us tomorrow before they leave.  And I wanted to say thank you for bringing them out here, I didn’t get the chance earlier.”

I smile at the memory of Abbey spotting her parents when Rachel brought them to the venue.  She was so surprised that she couldn’t even speak for a minute.  I will run that in her face for ever, too, because it’s a feat to get that girl to shut up.

“You’re welcome, Jude.” I lay back in the lounge chair I’m sitting in and let the sun warm my skin.  I wish I could truly be enjoying this time off.

“So, are you up for coming out?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  I might come, but I know that Jill won’t be able to make it.”

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise?”

“Like you should be talking.” I scoff. “No, she’s just been really consumed with this movie stuff.  I’ve barely gotten to spend time with her.  It’s kinda bumming me out.”

“I’m sorry, Boss man.”  There’s some muffled noise before her voice comes back on the line. “Hey, John and I are going out to grab some food and go bowling tonight, you should come with.”

I don’t really want to be around John any more than I want to be alone, but I know wallowing in my self pity will only make it worse.  “I don’t want to intrude.”

“Nah, you won’t be intruding.  I think that Marcy and Trace are going to tag along, too.  I saw them in them earlier and mentioned it.”

“John won’t be mad if I’m there?”

“John can kiss my lily white ass if he’s mad.  I want you there, Justin, and if Jill can make it too, the more the merrier.”  I scrunch my nose up at the image of John kissing Abbey’s ass.  Ew ew ew.

“Sure, I’ll be there.”

“Awesome, meet us at the hotel around 7.”

We say our goodbyes and hang up.  I toss my phone down next to me and let out a sigh.  I can’t help but feel that this is a bad idea and I shouldn’t be going out with them.  I mean, I know she said it’s a group thing, but I just wanted to avoid being around John so he wouldn’t get mad and say something stupid again.  Apparently he’s pretty jealous, and even if it is a group thing that’s not going to stop him from getting pissy.

Whatever.  This was totally supposed to be a kick ass weekend.  I should be spending time with my girl and getting as much sexy time as possible…not worrying about pissing off some asshole.

I am still cranky.