The ivory keys move underneath my fingertips as my hands dance across the piano. I hum softly, making up much of the melody as I go. The words are in my head already, it’s just a matter of putting them to music. I wasn’t sure if this should be a guitar piece or a piano piece, but something just told me that the guitar wouldn’t quite cut it on this one.
I’ve been so inspired and so filled with ideas lately it’s been difficult keeping up. For a while I could only focus on angry, hurt poetry and lyrics because of John and all the crap he put me through. Now though, now I’m walking on clouds, or sunshine, or whatever other cliché you want to think of.
Being around Channing and just enjoying myself so much has made me extremely happy. Not to mention the kick ass birthday shindig that went down the other night. I know that a lot of the excitement came from the HBO performance that everyone had just put on, but there was a huge birthday cake and I got a lot of well wishes from the people I’m closest with.
Justin had also catered the event with food from his restaurant and it was delicious. If I lived in New York I would probably gain a ton of weight because I wouldn’t want to eat any where else. That food was the shit.
The door to the room clicks behind me and I spot Channing coming in. I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face as he takes a seat on the bench next to me.
“Hey you,” I melt a little at the kiss he gives me.
“Hey.” He sits back, giving me a long stare. This moment is a little bitter sweet because the tour is leaving New York tonight and Channing is staying behind. I’m not really sure what that means for us, but I know my track record with long distance relationships is against me.
“So…” I know what that ‘so’ means. The silence after says a lot, and I’m not sure this is going to be a moment I like.
“I know.” I take his hand, trying to give him an encouraging smile. “There are only a few weeks of the tour left.” It’s hopeful and I’m grasping at straws.
“Yeah, I know.” He fingers the charm bracelet that’s sitting on my wrist. “But I’m leaving in a month for Australia to shoot a movie.”
Well. The air in the room seems heavier with that little declaration. “How long have you known?” I’m wondering if this was just a fling in the first place.
“I just signed the papers today. I had the script for a while but I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it. The production company just upped their offer and I knew it was too good to pass up. I’m sorry, Abbey.”
I nod my head, unsure of what to say. I know that there’s really nothing that can be done about this, and I know that it’s no one’s fault. It’s not like he’s ditching me for another girl or anything. It’s work.
Work sucks.
“But hey,” He gently grabs my chin with his fingers and turns my face toward his, “No need for the sad face.” He smiles softly at me. “I got you something.”
Channing pulls out the tell-tale bluish green box and I instantly squeal like a little girl. I’m not sure there’s any female that can resist excitement when she sees a Tiffany’s box. I’m not sure what prompted Channing to get me something, but I’m certainly not going to turn him down.
“What did you do?” I ask, half filled with excitement and half worried that I should’ve got him something, too.
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing huge.” He hands me the box and encourages me to open it, so I only hesitate a second before removing the cover and opening the pouch inside. A small charm falls into my hand and I let out a small breath as I see the shining Treble Clef.
“Oh,” Is all I can say as my hand goes to my mouth. I’ve never been a really mushy girl, but when someone does something this sweet I can’t help but get emotional. “Channing…it’s beautiful. How did you know?”
I hold up my wrist, the other charms dangling from the bracelet. It was a gift from my father. I have a piano, guitar, and some music notes that I’ve added over the years. Channing’s charm is perfect and I really can’t believe he could do something so thoughtful.
“Oh…some little birdie gave me a hint.” He looks a little uncomfortable discussing it, so I don’t push the issue. Instead, I lean over and wrap my arms around his torso. Leaning into his chest I let out a sigh and thank him again.
“It’s perfect. Thank you so much.” He places a soft kiss on my lips and holds me for a little while longer.
“When do you leave?” He asks, sounding like he’s not sure he wants to hear the answer.
“In a couple of hours. I have to make sure I have everything packed and then grab some dinner before we go. Do you want to come with me?” I really want him to say yes. I’m not ready for this to be our goodbye.
“I can’t. I have a meeting with the production company in a half hour to finalize everything and get my schedule. I don’t think I’ll be done in time to see you off.”
“Oh.” I turn and stare at the piano keys, sitting idly in front of my. I’m not sure what I should say and I’m not sure how I feel. I’ll be busy for the next few weeks and by the time I’m done he’ll be heading off to Australia for Lord knows how long.
“Hey, don’t be sad.” He leans into me, bumping his shoulder into mine. “This has been an awesome couple of weeks, Abbey. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and spend time with you. You’re such a beautiful, incredible person.” He kisses my cheek softly.
“Not that I want to be clingy or anything…” I know that I probably shouldn’t ask this next question because I’m afraid to hear the answer. “But what does this mean for us?”
Channing looks down at his hands, twisting his fingers tightly together.
“I don’t know,” is his answer. I guess that it’s going to have to be good enough for now. I can’t say that I have any better ideas myself. I hate to leave and have this be the end, but I also hate thinking that I have to handle another long distance relationship.
“Ok.” We seem to be short of words at the moment.
Silence falls over us for a while, and I start to squirm with the awkwardness of the situation. To break the moment, I start to play the piano again, moving back to the song I was working on when Channing came in. It seems to break his spell because he gently places his hands over mine to stop the music.
“I know that I plan to call you a lot and talk to you as much as I can.” I smile, knowing that he’s trying and it’s all I can ask for. “And I would hope that you might come to Australia to visit when ever you get some time off.”
“That sounds like a good plan to me.” I grin again, happy that it’s not really over but there’s no definition, either. I think I can handle that.
~*~
The grunt that escapes my lips is both loud and slightly barbaric. I sit heavily on my suitcase and attempt to zip it for the hundredth time, but it just won’t close.
“Stupid piece of shit, sonuva bitch…” I grumble angrily at the item, thinking bad thoughts. The only thing that keeps me from continuing my string of verbal abuse is the knock at the door.
“Hey Todd,” I open the door to let my body guard in, glad that he’s there.
“Hey Abs. I need to grab your bags so I can put them on the bus.” He points at the few bags sitting on the floor and I nod.
“Yeah, but I need help zipping that one closed. It’s being a bitch.” He chuckles at me and I send him a glare when he easily zips the bag closed without much effort at all. “Yeah, well, if I were a big brute of a man I could intimidate suitcases into closing too!”
“Abbey…it’s a suitcase, it can’t be intimidated.” He gives me a once over, noting my disheveled look. “Have you been drinking?”
“Oh shut up.” I laugh. “I have not been drinking. I’ve just been trying to get all the crap packed in a very short amount of time. Channing and I were…ah…”
“Saying goodbye??” He supplements and I nod thankfully.
“Yes, saying goodbye, and I lost track of time.” I watch as Todd hoists the bags onto his shoulders with ease, bringing them all out into the hallway to the cart. I notice Justin’s bags on there too.
“Is Justin in his room or on his bus?” I ask, suddenly in need of some company.
“He’s on his bus.”
“OK, I’m going to ride with him for a while, probably until the first rest stop. I’ll let you know when I switch, though.” Todd waves me off as I grab my backpack and head toward the elevators.
Things between Justin and I have been pretty good lately. I haven’t seen a lot of him since my birthday, but we’ve both been really busy with things. I just know that he doesn’t look like he wants to run and hide when I see him, and that makes me happy. I’m not sure what was going on with him before. Maybe he was just really stressed and seeing me made him think about everything else he had to take care of. I’m sure it’s not an easy job running my career while he’s trying to run his as well.
We did get to talk the other day, and he told me that he has a few candidates for my new personal assistant. I’m excited because I think it’ll give Justin a break and get him to lighten up, and it’ll make my life a little easier to have someone with me almost 24/7.
The elevator dings as I read the lobby and I make my way out toward the back where the busses are parked. It’s a quiet, rainy night which means there aren’t a lot of fans waiting outside. Most of them probably think we’re in Boston because that’s where our next show is.
Justin’s bus is the first in the row, and I knock loudly before getting on. “Boss man!”
“Hey Jude.” He calls from the couch. He got his laptop out and his glasses on. I’ve told him a bunch of times that the Buddy Holly look doesn’t really work for him and he should get some wire framed glasses, but he refuses to listen. Oh well.
“Uh oh, that’s a pretty serious look you’ve got.” I sit myself next to him, careful not to disturb any of the papers or files he’s got out.
“Yeah, I’m trying to narrow down my choices for PA for you, so we can set up meetings and you can pick who you like best.”
“I get a say?” That came out bitchy, but I’m really surprised that I’m not just placed with someone. I thought that was how this worked.
“Yeah. I figured that things with Trish were so terrible I should at least give you a chance to see a couple of people and let you make a choice. I just want to make sure I’m picking good people so I can be happy with whoever you chose.”
“Sounds good to me, Boss man. Just let me know when and where and I’ll be happy to pick.” I settle back into the couch, content to listen to the clicking of keys as Justin types. I glance around the bus about to grab the magazine that’s on the table next to me when I spot some familiar looking bags.
“You went to Tiffany’s too?” I reach out to finger the bluish green paper and look over at Justin whose stopped typing to glance up at me.
“Huh?”
“Tiffany’s, you went there today?”
“Uhm…yes, I did. I grabbed a couple of things for my Mom. Why?” He looks confused when I hold up my arm, pointing to my charm bracelet.
“I just think it’s funny because Channing went there too.” I lean forward to show him the new charm and he sits back a little, looking uncomfortable.
“Cool, that was nice of him.” He hastily goes back to typing and I shrug it off, happy to stare at my new jewelry.
“I know. He’s really insightful when it comes to gifts. I mean, he manages to pick my favorite flowers and then he gets me a charm that fits perfectly on my bracelet. I think I’ve really lucked out this time, Boss man.”
I sigh contentedly and close my eyes, remembering my afternoon with Channing. I’m so happy that things are finally starting to come back together. I’ve met a really nice guy that treats me well and seems to actually understand me. I’m really floored by the fact that he’s pegged me so well, but I figure he just pays a lot more attention to me that John did. Hell, than any other guy ever has.
Add that to the fact that I’m on the world’s biggest tour with some of my best friends. I’m having the time of my life and I’m finally starting to enjoy it.
Justin moves next to me, closing his lap top and letting out a long sigh.
“Everything OK?” I ask, suddenly aware that he doesn’t look well.
“Yeah, just really tired.” He doesn’t look at me as he packs up his stuff, putting it all away for the night. I’m about ready to ask him if I’ve done something wrong when he turns in my direction. “You up for a movie or something? I need to lie down.”
I nod, figuring his strange mood is probably because he’s just exhausted. I follow him back to his room, jumping on the bed and snuggling into the soft comforter.
“Let’s watch something funny, Boss man. You look like you need to be cheered up.”
He gives me a wry smile before popping in ‘Dumb and Dumber’ and climbing up onto the bed next to me. The busses started rolling a while ago and the lull of the road is starting to get to me. I sneak a glance at Justin whose eyes almost instantly closed, and I sit up to take off his glasses and set them on the bedside table.
With a contented sigh, I curl up under the blankets and drift off.
