It’s been a really long day and all I want to do is put on my sweat pants and crawl under a blanket.

I finished my album two days ago and today was filled with meetings, press conferences, rehearsals, and more meetings.  I barely had time to eat lunch, which is a sin in my book.  My boss saved me though, he brought me a steak and cheese sub and I’ll be forever in his debt.  Well, maybe until tomorrow, then I’ll go back to annoying him.

Justin has me dancing now too, which I am still pretty sore at him for.  I understand that I have to put on a show, but I think there are other ways to impact a crowd without dancers and impossible moves.  Although, I have one male dancer that is not bad to look at, just don’t tell my boyfriend!

Speaking of John, I haven’t talked to him all day and I’m getting a little upset about it.  He’s usually the person I call when I need to calm down a little, but I couldn’t get a hold of him at all today.  He better be in a ditch or something, because I’m not in the mood for anything less dramatic.

I sigh when I see my apartment door just down the hall.  I wish this hallway would move me toward it so I didn’t have to expend any more energy, but it doesn’t.  I take the few steps necessary and struggle to get the key in the lock.  I just want to get inside.

I let the door bang open and I drop my stuff as soon as I step over the threshold.  Automatically I sense that something is off.  It smells like smoke and candles, neither of which belongs in my apartment.  I can also hear something, a scratching sound, and I’m starting to get freaked out.

“Hello?”  Perhaps it’s a stupid idea for me to make my presence known if there’s a murderer or something in my apartment.  I reach for the closest object I can find, and I end up grabbing a decorative walking stick that my grandpa carved for me when I was little.  I’m not sure how much protection it’ll provide me with, but it makes me feel better to have something in my hands.

I hear something that I’m positive are foot steps, so I brace myself for an attack and get ready to swing. 

“Congratulations!”  I stop short of knocking John out with my stick and it goes flying from my hands and crashes into the lamp at the end of the couch.

“Jesus!  You scared the ever loving shit out of me!”

He cringes at the crash and barely saves the cake in his hands from falling to the floor.  That would explain the smell of smoke and candles.

“Sorry…I wanted to surprise you.”  He shows me the cake and it’s been decorated to look like my CD.  “I thought we could celebrate the completion of your album.”

I smile at him and let the tension fall out of my shoulders.  This totally makes up for not being able to get a hold of him all day.  “Is this why you wouldn’t answer your phone?”

He gives me a sheepish grin and shrugs.  “I’m horrible at lying to you, you know that.  I knew if I spoke to you today you’d know that something was up and I’d end up spoiling my surprise.”

I laugh.  He’s right, too.  The boy can’t lie to save his life, but I adore him for it.

“Well thank you,” I finally take the steps necessary to close the distance and give him a solid kiss.  “Could you take that into the kitchen and poor me a glass of wine, too?  I want to go change.”

I watch as he makes his way back into the kitchen and smile.  I like my men a little lanky, but John has a great ass.  He’s got that Orlando Bloom look, dark hair, beautiful eyes, and he looks good slightly scruffy.  If I could only get him to master that British accent, we’d be all set.

We’ve been dating for a little over a year now, and so far it’s been really great.  We bicker a lot, but it’s the kind of fighting that we know is stupid, and it never gets to any point of real anger.  I worry, though, because I’m leaving for a huge tour and he’s staying here.  We don’t spend every waking moment together, but we’ve never really been apart, either.  I’m not sure how well he’s going to handle me being gone and busy, especially when he can’t really take a lot of time off to come visit.

John’s a graphic designer, and when he first told me that that’s what he did, I had to ask him what it was.  He owns his own company and basically designs logos and t-shirts and all that stuff for other people.  It’s pretty cool, but he has to work hard to keep up revenue and he doesn’t like to take time off.  I sense that this might be a problem.

But for right now, I’m not going to let it worry me.  I’ve got a hunk of a man in the kitchen with cake and wine, I really can’t complain.

~*~

I hate dancing.  No, scratch that, I hate Justin for making me dance.  I understand that I have to put on a show and all that, but I’m sure I could still wow the crowd from a piano bench or a stool.  I mean, I’ve worked hard at my music and I’m confident in my playing skills.  Justin says I need to be a better, well rounded performer.

I think he just likes seeing me squirm.

I’ve been given two male dancers and a female dancer, so there are four of us.  All three of my dancers are incredible, and they’re hot too.  I actually feel slightly upstaged by them, but when I said this to Justin he told me that just means I need to work harder on my dancing.  Jackass.  You know, for a producer and a manager he doesn’t always seem too concerned with what I want.

Currently, I’m sweating my ass off in a studio preparing for a tour that kicks off in a month.  I thought we were going to be headed off sooner, but apparently Justin’s stage show is massive and he needs a lot of time to put it together and work out the kinks.  They’ve been putting this thing together for a while now, I’m pretty curious to see it, actually.

“Stop!  Abbey, you’re behind on the beat, pick it up girl!  Your dancers are making you look bad.”  Marty, Justin’s main henchman (besides Trace) and the world’s worst slave driver likes to yell at me.  He doesn’t settle for anything other than perfection, and I’m pretty sure that I barely reach satisfactory.

“Can we take five?  I need some water.”  He gives me that look—the one that tells me it hasn’t been three hours and a break seems absurd—but he nods.

“Abs, wait up.”  Kevin, Marcy, and Tony jog behind me.  They’re a lot of fun to hang out with, and they’ve been pretty supportive on this whole dancing thing.

“You ok, Girl?”  Tony is the hot one (that my boyfriend will know nothing about) and he’s taken me under his wing.  I appreciate the fact that all of these people are invested in the performance and they’re willing to help.  I feel a little pathetic that I’m supposed to be the star and I’m getting help from my dancers.  Justin will never live this down.

“I’m fine.  Frustrated, but fine.”  I take a long swing of my water.  “I hate dancing.”

They all laugh and I make sure to scowl at each of them.  Marcy throws an arm around my shoulder.

“Don’t worry Abbey, you’re doing fine.  Marty is just uptight, and he’s used to working with Justin, who is so good it’s unnatural.”  Marcy danced with Justin a few times when he was with *NSYNC, so she and I have bonded over our Justin bashing.  It’s a lot of fun.

“I just feel like…a big loser, or something.”  I finish off my water and look at the bottle in hopes that it will refill itself.  No such luck.

Marty calls us back over to the dance floor, but before we can get back Justin comes strutting through the door with his mini-entourage in tow.  Rachel, Trace, Justin, Mick (The bodyguard that earned the nick name Mickey Mouse because his voice is unnaturally high for such a big man, it was just shortened to Mick so he wouldn’t catch on that we were making fun of him) and Jill make their way across the studio and take a place by the mirrors.  Great, just what I wanted, my boss to watch me make a fool of myself.

I watch Justin and Marty do their manly hugging.  Sometimes I think that those two are a little too close, if you know what I mean.  I’ll have to make sure to give Justin shit for it later.

“Hey Jude, how goes the dancing?”  Justin gives me a smile and I want to hit him.  He brings out the violent side of me.

“I hate you, and I hate dancing.”  He actually has the audacity to laugh.  Jerk.

“Well, let’s see what you’ve got so far.”  I make it a point to stare at each of the people that followed him into the room and then shoot him an incredulous look.

“With everyone watching?”  I’m on the verge of throwing a tantrum.  I think it comes from being an only child growing up.  I like to get what I want.

“You’re going to be performing in front of thousands of fans in a month, seven people that you know is nothing.  It should help you do better, anyway.”  He gives me a stern look but I shoot one right back, “No more whining, just dance.”

I roll my eyes but move into place and start to pray.  Well, I say start to pray, I really start to count in my head.  I may be a musician, but for some reason I can’t seem to get my body to do what my head wants.  I’m hoping this is something I can get over.

Marty starts the music and we all move through the steps.  I’m actually surprised that I manage to make it through without any major missteps, and Marty seems pleased too.  Maybe Justin has a point about being in front of a crowd, but I will never giving him the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Not bad, Jude!”  Both Justin and Marty look more relieved than I think they should.  I know I’ve said that I’m horrible, but c’mon, give me a little credit here.

“I have been working my ass off, you know.  I would hope it’s ‘not bad.’”  That earns another chuckle from my boss and I roll my eyes again.  The first few (hundred) times he did that I thought it was the most attractive thing I’d ever heard, but now that I know the man and I’m over my little crush…it’s just annoying.  Well, sometimes the chuckle can be sexy, but this is not one of those moments.

“All right, guys, we’re done for the day.  Justin tells me he needs Abbey anyway, so we’ll pick this up tomorrow.”  I silently praise my boss for putting an end to my misery. 

“See you later, Abs,” I give a wave to my dancers as the three of them collect their stuff and exit the room.  I’m glad to have people that I get along with and like to be around.  I think that this tour is going to be a lot of fun, especially with the three of them around to help me pass the time.

I throw a towel around my neck and make my way over to the group.  Justin’s still caught up in a conversation with Marty and Trace, so I stop and say hi to Rachel.  She’s a huge part of why I’m even here and I think she’s a kick ass chick.  I’ve often wondered how she and Justin could be related.  I guess I’ll never know.

I don’t miss the way that Jill is eyeing me up from her position next to Justin.  She’s got this death stare aimed at me and I’m starting to get a little pissy.  I almost laugh when she puts a protective arm around Justin as if marking her territory.  I’m tempted to tell her that pissing on him would work just as well too, but I don’t have the energy at this point.

“What’s up with evil eyes over there?”  I quietly ask Rachel and she takes a moment before spotting the glaring Jill.

“Oh, well.  That’s attractive.”  Rachel isn’t a huge fan of Jill, either, but Justin seems to be happy with her and the girl hasn’t done anything horrible.  Except get on our nerves.  “She’s probably just jealous that you’re such a kick ass dancer.”

I give her the bird.  “You’re almost as funny as your cousin, really.”  She laughs at me and I’m getting a little upset with this family.  They are totally not nice people sometimes. 

OK, I’m being a whiney bitch.  I’m sure I’ll get over it.

“Hey Jude, get over here.”  Justin bellows across the studio and I shuffle over to him, making sure to exaggerate my fatigue.

“I hate you for making me dance,” I pout at him while I throw my arms around Trace and rest my head on his shoulder.  I wipe some sweat onto him and he pushes me off with a ‘hey!’

“I’m sure you do, but you’re about to love me despite all that.”  He gives me a cocky grin and I immediately become wary.

“What did you do?”  I’m just waiting to here that he signed me up for ballet so I can do a routine of stage or something.  He would, too.

He manages to look slightly wounded before he finally tells me his news.  “I’m taking you over to check out the stage.  It’s been set up and I want you to get a chance to walk through it.”

Well holy shit.  I’m actually really excited about this.

“Seriously?”  I’m on the verge of jumping up and down, but for the moment I manage to contain my excitement.

“Yeah, grab your stuff.  We’re headed there now.”  This time I let out a whoop of enthusiasm and jump on Trace’s back.  Normally I would’ve jumped on Justin, but I’m still getting the death rays from his lady friend and I don’t want to do anything to provoke the beast.  Hah, beast.

I’m such a bitch sometimes.