The music is blaring so loudly that I can barely hear myself think, but the buzz I’ve got going on has got me so I don’t really care.

I cast a glance out into the crowd below me and grin when I spot the man that’s responsible for this party and my current happiness.  Right now, there are hundreds of people celebrating the release of my album and I can’t quite wrap my head around it all.  Today was a whirl wind of promotions and interviews and celebrations all leading up to tonight.  My album will be released at the stroke of midnight and I’m about ready to pee my pants in anticipation.

I have no idea if people are going to like my music or not.  I put in a lot of work on that album, and Justin assures me that it’s a hit, but with today’s market, I’m not sure I believe him.  I suppose I’ll have to wait until the numbers come out.

To be honest, I’m enjoying myself but I’m also absolutely exhausted.  We had the video shoot for my first single, and that finished up in the wee hours of this morning.  I had enough time to grab a shower, change, and eat something, but then I was thrown right into today’s promotion and I can’t remember the last time I slept.  John is here with me, and he’s been trying his best to keep me awake and enjoying myself, but I’m getting close to that line of exhausted/cranky.

“Hey babe,” John places his hand on my shoulder and hands me a glass.  I eye him skeptically but he just smiles.  “Don’t worry it’s water.”

“Thanks.”  I lean on him, allowing his arms to wrap around me and support my weight.  I really want to go home, but I don’t want to leave my own party.  I’m not sure anyone would really care, especially since the majority of these people are strangers to me, but I know Justin worked really hard on pulling this together and I don’t want to disappoint him.

“Are you ready to go home?  You look about ready to pass out.”  John’s lips find my temple and I let out a sigh.  Yes, I’m ready to go home and never leave my bed again, but I think I should make at least one more appearance.

“One more dance, so I can say goodbye to Justin, and then we can take off.”  John looks a little apprehensive, he’s not much of a dancer either, but he nods his head and leads me out of VIP and down to the dance floor.

It takes us a second to find Justin, but we manage to bust through the people swarming him.  He’s dancing with Rachel and Trace in a sort of group, and he’s currently doing the running man.  He must be drunk to be dancing like that in public.

“Jude!”  He shouts at me, a lazy grin on his face.  “Where have you been?  Get over here girl, we need to dance!”  Now I know he’s drunk, because Justin would never voluntarily ask me to dance if he were sober.  Despite what he says about me being able to learn how to dance, he knows I have no rhythm.

“I think I’ll pass on that one, I’ve got my own man.”  I pull John close.  I know he hates dancing too, but I need the moral support at the moment.  He’ll get over it.  Luckily the tempo of the music slows down just a bit and John and I are able to sway to the music without looking too lost or ridiculous.

“Are you enjoying yourself?”  Justin’s lazy smile is replaced by a serious concern and I give him a grin and nod my head.

“You outdid yourself on this one, Boss man.  I wasn’t expecting anything at all, forget a huge bash like this.”  His grin returns and he pulls Rachel into him, swinging her around until she stumbles into Trace.  Now I’m really happy that I declined to dance with him.

I do notice that Justin’s girlfriend is MIA and I’m surprised that she isn’t here, eating up the attention that would no doubt be thrown upon her.

OK, my exhaustion has just crossed the line into cranky.

The DJ interrupts my thoughts by announcing the time and declaring that my album has officially been released into stores.  A wave of dizziness falls over me and I lose focus for a moment as I’m passed from person to person, hug to hug.  I can’t keep the smile off my face though, and I can’t actually believe this moment is here.

“Congratulations, Jude!”  Justin’s hug is the longest and the tightest, but he’s worked just as hard on this album as I have, so this is just as much a moment for him, too.

“I can only hope the numbers don’t disappoint you.”  I can’t stop my apprehension, even though it’s keeping me from fully enjoying this moment.  I get a side long glance from my boss and he looks about ready to lecture me, but someone else grabs his attention and I’m able to escape back to the safety of John.

“You ready to go, babe?”  He wipes my hair from my eyes and smiles at me.  This time the dizziness is less from the alcohol and completely from this man.  He’s certainly got charm.

“Let me say goodbye to these guys and then we can go.  OK?”  I watch him nod before turning around and grabbing Trace by the shoulders.  He turns in shock, but smiles when he sees me.

“Hey lady, how are you feeling?”  He starts to dance with me, but I manage to push him back enough and disarm him with a smile.

“Exhausted, actually.  John and I are going to head home.  Thanks for coming.”  I give him a hug and ignore his protests which eventually turn into perverted comments about John and me.  Rachel’s next, and she gives me another hug before pushing me into Justin.

“Hey Jude, taking off?”  Apparently I’m easy to read.  I nod my head and he grins, catching me in another tight hug.  If I didn’t know these people as well as I do, I would be screaming about personal space violations.

“Thanks for everything, Justin.  This…this is all amazing.”  I take a second to glance around the club and I’m in awe that this is all for me.

“Anything for my best artist,” He grins because he knows I’m his only artist.  “Go home, get some rest.  I’ll call you in the afternoon with rehearsal schedules and all of that.”

“See ya, Boss man.”  I wave one last time before finally getting back over to John and heading for the door.

The air outside is a lot cooler than I expected, but that might be because of all the body heat in that club.  I’ve never been a big partier, but tonight was fun and I hope that my album manages to live up to all the hype.

John leads me toward the curb and I assume he’s going to hail a cab but he pulls me into his side and directs me down the street.

“Let’s walk.”  I’m about to protest, but he seems determined, so I follow along quietly.  Neither of us drove tonight, expecting to be too intoxicated to drive so we had planned to catch a taxi back to my place.  I don’t live that far away, but I certainly hope that John doesn’t plan on us walking all the way back, my feet would never forgive me for these heels.

The city is surprisingly quite tonight, but it’s a nice change from the norm.  I take a second to get in a deep breath and relax a bit.  I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me, but getting this album out was a huge first step.

“Did you have fun?”  He links our fingers together and lets our hands sway.

“I did.  I think Justin went a little over the top, but I’m excited and I’m glad we all got to celebrate.”  I pause for a moment, reflecting on this past year.  “I never thought I’d make it here.”

“Why not?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  I guess I just never imagined that I would be a part of something like this.  I’ve always wanted to make music…I just never thought that people would want to hear the music I made.”

I look up to catch his smiling eyes and I can’t help but smile back.

“Well, I’m proud of you, and I always love to listen to the music you make.”  He stops abruptly, and I’m pulled back a little bit.  I throw him a glare but he just grins and pulls me into the door next to him.

It doesn’t take me long to recognize that this is a music store, and I’m a little taken aback to see my face plastered on album covers and posters.  Apparently, this CD is a big deal.  John lets go of my hand and heads over to the display, taking a CD and running his fingers over my face.

“You’re much prettier in person.”  I laugh at the silly smile on his face.

“Thank you, baby.  You’re such a gentleman.”  I watch as he picks up one more CD and heads over to the register.  “John, what are you doing?  I’ve got a bunch of CDs at home, you don’t need to buy one.”

He throws me a crooked grin.  “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t support my girl’s career?”  He pays the guy at the counter who hasn’t stopped gawking at me since we walked in the store.  I’m tempted to flip him off but I’m sure that wouldn’t look very good.  He’s probably just not used to seeing artists buying their own albums…and I suddenly feel pathetic.

“You really don’t have to do that.”  I say when he comes back over to me.  “And why did you get two?”

“One, so I can listen to…”  He opens the door for me, a grin still resting on his lips.  “And the other so I can get it autographed and keep it as a collectable.  This is going to be worth some major cash someday, and I’ll be able to say ‘I knew her when’…”

I stop walking for a second so I can stare at him.  I really can’t believe that this man is mine, and that he’s such an incredible goober for doing something like this.  I’m honestly touched and I’m about to get misty on him, so I start walking again and grab his hand in mine.

“Love you,” I say softly, because I’m too wrapped up in this moment to manage anything else.

“Love you too, Abbey.” He plants a kiss on my temple and we walk for a bit in silence.

After a while my feet are just too sore to keep going, so we hail a cab and I’m almost asleep when we get to the apartment.  I must be more asleep than I thought, because the next thing I know I’m being carried down the hall to my apartment. Tonight has been close to perfect.

~*~

Despite any vehement declarations to the opposite, I actually have a pretty big soft spot for my boss.  Just do me a favor and don’t mention it to him, I can’t have my reputation being ruined here.

Currently, he’s standing in front of me with a bouquet of flowers and a tape that I’m assuming to be my music video.  He gives me a smile and congratulates me again for the release of my album.  I let out a squeal and give him a hug, grabbing the tape from his hands and going into the living room.

“Where do you want these?”  He points to the flowers.

“Oh, sorry.” I get up and grab them from him, taking them into the kitchen to find something to put them in.  I’m surprised about the flowers, and I’m even more surprised that he’s here in person, but I won’t complain.

“Here’s the final cut of your video.”  He explains as he pops the tape into my TV.

“I figured as much.”  I sit on the couch, and he plops down at the other end, kicking off his shoes and propping his feet on the coffee table.  “To what do I owe this visit?  I thought you were going to call me today.”

“I was, but I figured it would be easier to go over the schedule in person.  The last time you heard something you didn’t like you hung up on me—”  I cut him off.

“I did not hang up on you!  I lost the call!”  Seriously, I girl loses a call with her boss once and he never lets it go.  The grin on his face tells me he’s enjoying the rise he got out of me, so I grab a pillow and smack him across the chest.

He grunts. “Geeze, woman.  No need to get violent.”  I stick my tongue out in response and pick up the remote so I can start the video.

I’m pretty excited to see it, actually.  Justin got the bright idea of making this a more laid back, behind the scenes type of video, and I’m curious to see how it came out.  We were given a couple of cameras to film with during rehearsals, and then we shot some scenes with the whole group of us just hanging out and being goofy.  The only performance scenes come from rehearsals, so it was really easy for me.

I laugh at the opening scene.  Trace has decided that sticking straws up his nose is something he needs to do more often.  Ever since Justin’s Pepsi commercial, Trace thinks he’s the funniest thing to walk the earth.  None of us have the heart to tell him that he just looks stupid.

“You don’t look half bad up there, Jude.”  I give Justin a pointed glare when he comments on my dancing.  I tried to keep people from filming the dance rehearsals, but they managed to do it anyway.

“I think it came out well.”  I rewind the tape when it ends, throwing the remote back on the coffee table.  “So, how busy will I be?”

The grin on Justin’s face tells me that I’m not going to like this.

“We start rehearsing on the stage tomorrow, and that’s where we’ll be until the tour starts.  You have appearances to make in New York this coming weekend, so you’ll be flying out Friday morning and coming back Sunday night.  Then on Monday you start press here in LA, and we’ve lined up radio stations for you and a couple of interviews. The tour pulls out next Thursday and we head off to…”  He trails off, “Well, whatever city we’re starting in.”

I take a moment to let it all soak in.

I knew that my life was about to get hectic but I don’t think I was prepared for all of this.  I think of the fact that I’m probably not going to get to see John for any length of time after today, and that thought scares me a little.  Of course, it doesn’t scare me half as much as the idea of starting this tour.  I’ve watched Justin’s rehearsals, this bitch is going to be huge.

“Are you still with me, Jude?”  He’s waiving a hand in front of my face and I shake my head, trying to bring back my focus.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”  I bring my feet up and tuck them underneath me, turning a bit so I’m facing him.  “Just a little overwhelmed, I guess.  This is pretty scary.”

He reaches over to ruffle my hair, something he knows I hate.  I slap his hands away and glare at him.  He grins, “You’ll be fine.  I’m sending Trish with you to New York.  I’d go, but I have to stay here and make sure this tour comes together.  But I’ll be with you in LA, and you’re going to be just fine.  You’ve got a kick ass album and a kick ass video and everyone’s going to love you.  Relax.”

“Easy for you to say, Mr. I-sell-millions-of-records-because-I’m-just-that-fabulous.”  He laughs, that deep, vibrating chuckle.  “I guess I’m just scared about being able to keep up, you know?  I’ve never done this before and…well…I don’t want to get left behind.”

He waves a hand at me, dismissing my fears.  “You’ll fall into the swing of things, I promise.  Once all the press stuff is over with you’ll be able to focus on the tour and that’ll become old hat in no time.  Plus, you’ve got me, Trace, and Rachel out there with you.”

“Well, gee, that makes me feel a whole lot better.”  My sarcasm doesn’t miss him, and this time he smacks me with a pillow.  I manage to snatch it from his hands and tuck it behind my head before he can do too much damage.

“So, where’s lover boy?  I figured the two of you would still be in bed today.”

“He got called into the studio.  I guess there’s an issue with one of the new clients and they couldn’t figure it out so John had to go in today.  He’s going to be pissed when he finds out that this is really my last day off.”

“He can come on tour with you any time.  You know that, right?  You can have as many visitors as you want, just let security and booking know and we can place them on the list.”

I shrug my shoulders and start to pick at my nails.  It’s an old habit that followed me out of childhood and I’ve never really managed to shake it.  I always have to do something with my hands, especially when I’m nervous.  “He said that he’ll try and make it out, but he’s really busy with his company right now.”

Justin must sense my sudden sadness, because he punches me in the knee to get my attention.

“Cheer up, Jude.  Even if he can’t come visit, you’ll be busy enough and the tour will be over before you know it.”

I shrug again, not really sure what to say.  It’s nice to hear that things will work out, but at the same time, it’s coming from someone that’s had years to practice this type of stuff.  I’m new to it all, especially the long distance relationship part.  I love being with John and he makes me incredibly happy, I hate to think of things going sour because of my job or his.

“I’ve got to get going, I told Jill I’d pick her up from taping and take her out to lunch.”

That reminds me, “Oh, tell her that I watched her episode of GH the other day.  She was really good.”  Justin looks impressed.  I think he knows how hard it is for me and Jill to get along, especially with her constant death glares.  I don’t think he ever expected me to compliment the girl, but she is on my favorite soap opera.

“Will do.”  He stand up and runs his hands down his pants, taking one last glance around the room before grabbing the tape from the VCR.  “Get some rest today, Jude.  You’re going to need it.”

I wave and him and thank him again, not bothering to walk him to the door.  He’s a big boy, he can show himself out.

Right now I’m just completely overwhelmed with the prospect of touring and what it’s going to mean for my life.  The press buzz has started to get a little bit louder with the release of my album, and I’m afraid that it’s only going to get worse with time.  Here’s hoping that I can make it through all this in one piece.