Abbey’s finally fallen asleep next to me, her arm carelessly thrown across my stomach.  I should probably move her and get up and sleep on the couch, but I’m really comfortable and I don’t want to risk waking her right now.  She looks like hell warmed over and I know that she really needs to sleep.

I run over the song that she wrote in my head, and I almost wish her album weren’t finished because it’s a kick ass song.  I feel bad, though, because it was obvious that she was pretty torn up about the fight with John.  She tries to play tough, but most of the time I can see right through it.

Her phone is sitting next to me on the night stand and I get an idea.  I snatch it up and check to make sure she’s really sleeping before I open it and start to scroll through her contact list.  It’s really important that she feels comfortable while on tour, and it’s important that the people she cares about come to visit as often as possible.  I’m speaking from experience on this one, and I figure that if John’s not smart enough to surprise her, I’ll do it for him.

I grab his number and program it into my phone.  I then grab her parents’ numbers and put those in my phone too.  I’m sure they would love to come out and see their girl play, and I know that Abbey doesn’t expect them to come out anytime soon, so it’ll be a double surprise.

Out of curiosity, I go through her speed dials.  I’ve merited the # 5 spot.  Hmph.  She’s got her Dad, her Mom, John, her friend Becca, and some name I’m not familiar with set for numbers one through four. 

I’m her manager; I should at least be number three!

Abbey makes a noise next to me and I freeze in place as she settles into a more comfortable position.  It isn’t until she’s sat still for half a minute that I let my breath out slowly.  That was close.  I set her phone back on the table and carefully get out of bed.  We should be at the hotel soon, but I want her to get as much sleep as she can.

I make my way up to the front of the bus, stopping to ask Benny how much longer.

“We should be pulling up to the hotel in about 45 minutes.”

“Thanks, man.”

I plop myself down onto the couch and close my eyes.  I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep, but there’s not much else to do right now.

My phone vibrates against my chest, causing me to jump a little.  I wasn’t expecting that.

It’s a text from Jill.  She’s just gotten out of filming and she wanted to tell me good night.  I calculate the time difference in my head, and it is 2am in LA.  I can’t imagine why she’d need to be filming for such a long time, but then again, I know nothing about soap operas.  Hopefully she’ll get time to sleep and relax.  I worry about her, she seems to be working herself too hard sometimes.  She’s happy, though, and she really loves what she’s doing right now.

I text back quickly, telling her I miss her.  I blame my mushiness on the obscene hour.

Jill made flight arrangements the other day to come out when we’re in Tennessee, which is in three weeks.  I wanted her to visit my family with me, and she happened to have a break in filming then, so it all worked out.

I’m thinking I’ll call and see if I can get Abbey’s folks and John to come out then too.  I know how much it sucks to not have family on tour, and it’s even worse when you have to sit back and watch someone else with their’s.  If I can get everyone out to Memphis at the same time, we’ll all have people to hang out with and I think it could be a lot of fun.

Shows in Memphis are usually different than any of my others, just because it’s my hometown and I really love playing to the crowds there.  Plus, the spots we go to afterward are really chill and a lot of fun.  I always look forward to that stretch of the tour.

I let out a long sigh as I go over everything that needs to be done in my head.  Sometimes I think I’m really stupid.

Don’t let anyone else hear that, I’d never live it down.

But seriously.  It’s a big deal to have taken on an artist for my label, and I have to make sure I do everything I can to get her career on the right track.  What’s stupid is that I decided to take on this artist at the same time I’m releasing my sophomore album and taking off on a huge ass world tour.

Don’t get me wrong, Abbey is amazing and I would be kicking myself if I’d missed out on her talent.  It’s just…I’m exhausted and I’m freaking out that I won’t be able to handle this.

I know, I know, Justin Timberlake doesn’t get scared.  But really, this is a big deal.  Not only do I have to worry about me, but I’ve got to make sure that I don’t screw up with Abbey.  I just…I care a lot about that girl, and I know she’s got a lot of talent to share with the world.  I’d hate to be the one to fuck it all up.

Performing has always come naturally for me, but sometimes I feel like I’m about to forget steps, or lyrics, or something.  I’ve just got all this shit on my mind and even when I’m on stage I can’t seem to let it all go.  I’m really hoping that once there’s a crowd I’ll be able to relax and just let the music take over, but lately I haven’t been so sure.

Next time, I’ll make sure I’m on a break when Abbey has an album come out.

The bus slows and I sit up to notice that we’re at the hotel.  Thank God.  It’s been a long day and I just want to crawl into bed and sleep.  I was smart enough to schedule rehearsals to start at 11am, so everyone will have plenty of time to sleep in and get something to eat before we start.

I peak in the back and smile at Abbey.  She’s buried under the pillows and all I can see are her feet and one hand.  I hate to wake her, but I’m sure she’d be much more comfortable in the hotel bed.

“Hey, Nate,” I call to one of the bodyguards standing out side of the bus.  Technically he’s Abbey’s personal security, but she says that she’s not famous enough to need protection so she kind of ignores him.

“What’s up, J?”

“I’ve got a sleeping singer that needs a lift into the hotel.”  He nods at me, heading up the stairs to the back of the bus.  I make sure someone grabs her luggage before I make my way inside.

I spy Rachel standing by the elevators and she gives me the OK, which means I’m all set to just head to my room.  I love my cousin.

“Hey JT.”  She nudges me with her shoulder before wrapping an arm around my waist and falling into me slightly.

“Hey.  Tired?”  I get the ‘don’t be stupid’ look and just laugh.

“Where were you?  I went onto the bus to bring you inside but you were MIA.”  She lifts herself off of me, the moment of affection apparently over. 

“I was on Abbey’s bus.”  Her eyebrow slides up, a strange look on her face and I suddenly get defensive.  “She had a fight with John and she couldn’t sleep.”

“And you did what?  Cuddle with her and wipe her tears?”  Again with the eyebrow.  It’s really kinda creepy.

“No, I helped her work on a song.  When we stopped at the gas station a while back she was messing around with some lyrics so I offered to help her finish it.  I knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep if she kept worrying about John, and I was bored as fuck on my bus.”

“No need for profanities, cuz.”  I let out a sigh when she pats my chest.  The elevator doors finally open and we both step on.  I just want to go to bed.  “Where is she now?”

I shrug.  “Nate was taking her up to her room.  She passed out in the back about an hour ago.”

There’s a moment of silence and I remember that I wanted to book plane tickets.

“Hey,” I wait for my cousin to look at me, “Can you get me some flight times from LA for the same week that Jill is coming out?”

“Uhm, sure.” She pauses, “Why?”

“I thought I’d call up Abbey’s parents and her boyfriend and get them to come out for a surprise visit.”

This time Rachel starts to make this clicking noise with her tongue and I’m really getting annoyed.  I don’t need this, not tonight, not at all.

“You’ve been pretty focused on Abbey lately,” The insinuation hangs in the air around us and I silently count to ten in my head.

“She’s my artist and I care about her.  Of course I’m going to be focused on her; I’ve got her career in my hands.”  I think it comes out calmly, but the look on Rachel’s face tells me differently.

“No need to get defensive, Justin.  I was just making an observation.”  The door dings and we both step out.  Can I go to sleep yet?  “Normally you’re so closed off at the start of a tour it’s a surprise if anyone can find you before a show.  I’m just…I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“Yeah, well…” I don’t really have a comeback and she knows it too.  She smirks at me before slapping my key card into my hand and waving as she walks down the hallway.

“Get some sleep, superstar, I’ll see you in the morning.”

I shuffle my way into the room and sigh at the sight of the bed.  I don’t even bother to brush my teeth or change into actual pajamas.  I just flop down onto the bed and let my body sink as far as it can go.

I do manage to set the alarm and shimmy off my jeans before I crawl under the covers and pass out.

~*~

I’m doing a pretty good job at hiding it, but I’m nervous as fuck right now.  This is our last day to rehearse and get things together, and so far it’s been near disastrous.

Everything that could possible go wrong has, and I’m just about at my breaking point.  I mean, we should be set right now.  This should just be to get out the little technical glitches and give the dancers and band one more chance to feel out the stage before we go live.

But no, it’s nothing like that at all.  It’s a good thing I keep my hair relatively short, because if it were long enough I’d be pulling it out right now.

The truck with all of the costumes got lost last night, so we’re without those for now.  I’m not sure when they’re going to get here, but from the way I’m being avoided I’d guess it won’t be any time soon.  On top of that, half of my dancers and crew have caught the flu and everyone looks like shit.  I keep covering my face with my t-shirt because I really don’t want to catch anything. 

This sucks.

“Justin,” Abe, my main tech calls me over.  This doesn’t look good. “There’s some problem with the stadium’s system.  We’ve got to rewire things and work out the glitches, but that means you’re not going to have sound for at least an hour.”

Oh, fuck me.

“An hour?”  He nods slowly, his eyes wide with fear.

I let out a breath and run my hands over my head and down my neck.  I don’t need this right now.  Not the night before my first fucking show.  Not now.

“Ok.”  I start slowly, trying to figure out what to do.  My watch tells me that it’s close to four.  “Well, if we don’t have sound there’s not much we can do.  I guess we’ll just break for dinner and come back when it’s all fixed.”

He nods again, picking up his radio and talking to who ever is on the other end.  I turn and walk away from him, heading back to my dancers and band.  They all look as miserable as I feel.

“Well, it looks like we’ve got some technical difficulties.  So, everyone go get something to eat, take a quick nap or something.  Be back here and ready to rehearse by 5:30, and don’t be late!”

Everyone scrambles to get up and leave before I come up with a way to make us practice without music.  I’ve been known to do shit like that, so I don’t blame them for the speedy exit.

“Hey, Rach!”  My cousin is in one of the stadium seats chatting on her phone.  It’s probably business related, and I feel bad that she probably won’t get much of a break because I’m about to give her more to do.

I make my way over to the edge of the stage, which is pretty close to where she’s sitting.  “What’s up, JT?”

“Can you cancel anything I have before the show tomorrow?  Any interviews or meetings.  I have a feeling that things aren’t going to come together tonight and I’m going to need tomorrow before the show to work things out.”

She gives me a sorry look as she writes things down and checks through the notebook on her lap.

“You really want to cancel everything?  What about the meet and greet?”  Shit, I forgot about that.

“What time is that at?”

“Five.  Abbey goes on at 7:30 and you start at 8.”  I run things through my head, figuring it out.

“OK, keep the meet and greet.  Everything should be set by five anyway, and if it’s not I’ll want to meet with my fans anyway so I can apologize a head of time.”  This gains a laugh and I manages a small smile.

“I’ll get right on that.”  She starts to get numbers from her phone and I shoot her a ‘thank you’ before walking off stage and heading to my dressing room.  I’m in a really bad mood.

I’m surprised to find Abbey and Trace sitting in my dressing room, playing on the floor with Buckley and Brennan.  Abbey’s on her back with Brennan lying on Abbey’s stomach, licking her face.  It’s pretty funny looking.

“Hey, Justin.”  Trace spots me first and I throw him a wave. “What’s going on?”

“Sounds down, we can’t rehearse for at least an hour.”

“Oh, shit.”  He gives me a look that lets me know he feels bad, but it doesn’t really do anything to lift my spirits at the moment.

“Yeah.”  I stand in the door way, not really sure what to do.  I kind of want to be alone, but I’m a little afraid that I’ll manage to freak myself out even more if I am.  Buckley starts to whine at my feet and I scratch his ears.

“I should probably take the two hounds out to pee, and get them their food.”  Trace stands, and Abbey gets up off the floor, looking flushed from all of the giggling.  No one says anything ass Trace grabs the leashes and herds the two dogs outside.

“Hey Boss man,” She gives me a small smile and I attempt to give one back.  It’s not working.

“Hey Jude.”  I scuffle over to the couch and fall onto it with a thud.  Abbey sits herself on my back and starts to rub my shoulders.  This girl kicks ass.  “That feels good.”

“You know what we used to say in theatre?”  She finds a knot in my neck and I let out a groan.

“What?”

“Well, it’s kind of superstition that if the tech rehearsal goes horribly wrong that means the opening night is going to be amazing.  We all used to think it was bad luck if we made it through a tech without something going wrong.  Days like today are considered really lucky.”

I think about her words for a second, letting them sink in as she continues to work on my shoulders.

“Thanks, Abbey.”  And I really mean that, too.  For the first time since this horrible day has started, I actually feel like I might make it through this alive.

“No problem, Boss man.”  She works out another knot and I remind myself not to take this girl for granted anytime soon.  I’m not sure where I’d be right now without her.

Just don’t tell Rachel that, she’ll find a way to turn it into some secret burning desire or something.