January 11, 1996

“Is this the last one?” JC grunted as he took the box Chris passed to him, maneuvering it into the stack on the left side of the largest basement storage room.

“Yeah.” With a quiet groan, Chris moved through the double doors and plopped down on the new couch, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the new TV across the room. “She really didn’t have to do this, Jace. I mean … you, I understand. Me?”

“You were gonna be homeless, man.” Closing the door in the hallway, JC came into the living room of Chris’ new apartment and collapsed on the other end of the cushions. “What did you expect her to do?”

“I know, but …” He paused, gesturing with one hand around the redecorated room. “I just … really? All I needed was a place to sleep. She didn’t have to update everything and add furniture down here, too.” Running his fingers over the fabric covering the armrest, he shook his head. “This was already nicer than the last apartment I had.”

“You should’ve been there when she made me go shopping for my space. All I wanted was a new comforter for the bed, but she corrected me fast.” JC’s tone was light with humor. “Trust me, just go with it. She’d originally planned to put you in one of the rooms upstairs, but thought you might like to have a little more privacy. Plus, Maggie and her drama group are down here all the time because of the studio, so it’s not like they won’t be using it while we’re gone.”

“Yeah, okay.” Closing his eyes, Chris leaned his head back and yawned. “Are you ready to go? Tomorrow’s gonna be a hell of a day.”

“As ready as I can be, I guess. My bags are in the hallway next to yours.” A sigh carried through the room. “I’m glad the others stopped by today. Jenny’s already a wreck, and too many big goodbyes at one time might’ve done her in.”

“She’ll be okay, C.”

“I know. But she’s hurting right now, and it tears me up because I know I’m the main reason for it.”

“Well, like he said, I’ll be okay.” Both looked up at her voice, finding her leaning against the doorjamb. “It won’t be the first time I’ve missed you, Josh. I’ll get used to it, I promise.”

“Hey, Gracie.” Chris smiled, getting up from the couch to go to her for a hug. “Thanks again …”

“Don’t mention it, Spazz.” Jen glanced around, noticing how all the boxes had been removed from the living area. “Everything work out okay?”

“It’s perfect.” His expression dimmed when he saw her red-rimmed eyes and he stepped back, raising his hands to her shoulders. “I don’t know how long it’ll be …”

“As long as you need it, it’s yours. Mi casa es su casa.” She stretched up to kiss his cheek. “I can’t believe I bought a house this big just because I fell in love with a window seat. I have to fill it somehow.” Laughing softly, she pulled away. “You guys have been down here for hours and Maggie is due in anytime. I’ve got chicken tortilla soup with fresh chips ready if you’re hungry.”

“Sounds great, Boof. Thanks.” JC rose to his feet, sending her a grateful smile. “We’ll be there in a few.” As she headed back through the studio and up the stairs, the guys looked at each other, concern mirrored on their faces. “You see what I mean?” Distress colored JC’s voice as she disappeared into the hallway. “I feel like I’m ripping the soul right out of her.”

“Well, Jace, of course she’s upset. You haven’t exactly been Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky these past few weeks, either.” A dark brow rose in challenge. “I’d guess that’s because you love her just as much as she loves you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Well, that was easier than I expected. Usually you fight me a lot harder.” Chris laughed in surprise. “What gives?”

“Why try to deny it? You and J were both in that grocery store and saw the entire thing.”

“Oh, you mean that time you tried to set a fire beside the brownie mixes? Now that was some heat.” He grinned at the blush spreading up JC’s neck. “I guess the real question is how many times has that been repeated since?”

“None. I didn’t want to string her along.”

“But you explained that to her, right?”

“Not exactly.”

“Not exactly? What does that mean?”

“Okay, so we haven’t talked about it at all.” JC cringed at Chris’ incredulous expression. “When she didn’t bring it up, I avoided the entire thing.”

“And that’s where you’re screwing up, C. You can’t be hot one second, then cold the next. You’re just going to confuse her and frustrate yourself.” His hands came to his friend’s shoulders, forcing him to make eye contact. “She’d wait for you, you know. All you have to do is ask.”

“Wait for how long? One year? Five years?” An exasperated sigh escaped as he shook away and moved toward the stairs. “That would be the most unfair thing I could ask of her. I can’t do it, Chris.”

“I think it’s more unfair that you aren’t giving her the chance to decide for herself.” Shaking his head, Chris followed him up to the hallway. “It might be easier on her if she knew you wanted her to. At least her heart wouldn’t be breaking as badly as it is. You need to be honest with her and tell her how you feel.” He grabbed JC’s arm, pulling him to a halt before they reached the main level. “And not just the parts you think she needs to hear, either. Tell her everything. She won’t disappoint you, I promise.”

“I never thought she’d disappoint me. I’m terrified that I’ll disappoint her. I can’t be here for her and it’s killing me.” Horrified, JC felt tears gathering in his eyes. “No matter how badly I want her to wait for me, a bigger part of me wants her to have someone who can be here for her. She doesn’t just need that … she deserves that. She should have someone who can stand beside her and support her, someone who can hold her hand, take her out and kiss her goodnight.” He turned and sat down on the steps, dropping his face into his hands. “It makes me sick just thinking about someone else being that person for her, but I love her enough to want her to be free to find him, since it can’t be me.”

“But what about what she wants? And don’t you think she should be the one deciding what she needs? I know the distance sucks, but it’s not like you’re never going to talk to her or see her. They have phones over there, you know. Lance got us set up with that e-mail thing so the time difference won’t be such an issue. The deal states we’ll have regular visits home, and she’s already said she’d like to see Europe. You’re totally overthinking this, Jace. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by blowing it out of proportion.”

“But I …”

“Josh? Chris?” Suddenly, she was there, standing in the hallway, obviously confused at their odd positions on the stairs. “Are you guys okay?”

“We’re absolutely fine.” Chris smiled, putting out a hand to help JC up. “C was having a bit of a stress-out moment. It’s all good.”

“Okay …” Her eyes were narrowed suspiciously, traveling from one face to the other as they came to stand in front of her. “Yeah, I’m not buying it, but I’m not gonna push. Soup’s simmering on the stove, chips are on the counter, there’s sour cream and shredded cheese in the fridge if you need it. I’m heading up to take a shower.” She glanced to JC with a tired smile. “Can we watch a movie later? Or something?”

“Anything you want, Boof.” He pulled her into a tight hug and rested his cheek against her hair, his brow furrowing when he felt how her fingers clutched at his shirt. “I’ll grab a bite to eat and then head for a shower, too. Go get comfortable and I’ll meet you in the living room in a little while.”

“Okay.”

“Uh … hey, Jen?” Chris cleared his throat quietly. “I was thinking about calling Mom and my sisters tonight. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is.” She stepped away from JC with a sigh. “There are separate lines in the office and basement if you don’t want to stay in the main rooms.” Her hand patted his shoulder on her way by. “Just pick one and take as long as you want.” As she started up the staircase, her voice floated back to them. “Josh, you might want to do the same thing. Aunt Karen probably wouldn’t be too happy if she didn’t hear from you before you left.”

It was eight o’clock before he could finally head for the living room, baggy lounge pants swishing around his legs, hair still damp from his shower, a few stray water droplets soaking into the collar of his t-shirt. He found her curled up at the end of one of the couches, hugging a pillow to her chest as she flipped through the channels on the television. “Hey, Jenny. Sorry it took so long. The entire clan was over for game night, so I had to talk to everybody. They all said to tell you hi.” Making his way around the furniture, he paused behind her to lean down and kiss the top of her head. “You still in a movie mood?”

“Yeah.” She looked up at him with a smile, trading remotes so she could control the VCR, pressing play so the previews would start. “Do you want popcorn?”

“Nah, I’m good.” He relaxed back into the cushions, grinning when he saw that she was wearing the fuzzy tie-dyed pajama pants he’d gotten her for Christmas, topped by an oversized Beatles shirt … a gift from Justin, if he remembered correctly. “I’m glad you like those. Do they fit?”

“They’re a little too big, but that’s how I like them. And they’re the softest things I’ve ever worn.” Her fingers rubbed against the material, pressing it against her leg as she looked down at the bright fabric. “Too bad I can’t wear them to class. I’d have it made.”

“Go ahead. Make a fashion statement.” His teasing earned a small grin, and he turned to the movie, laughing as the opening credits began. “Spaceballs? Really?”

“I wanted something funny, and I thought The Princess Bride probably wouldn’t cut it.” A brow arched as her glance cut over to him. “Is this okay?”

“As you wish, Boof.”

“Ha ha.” She whipped the pillow she was holding toward him and he caught it, sending her a triumphant look as he began hugging it himself, not inclined to give it back. “Fine, you win.” Shaking her head, she laughed quietly, shifting until her feet were on the cushion beside her and propping her elbow on the armrest so she could rest her chin in her hand.

He knew how hard she was fighting to keep things light and easy, and he felt a twist in his stomach when he saw her biting her lip to keep it from trembling. By the time Princess Vespa had escaped from her wedding to Prince Valium, tears had escaped, and she was trying to choke back sobs. “Jenny, come here.” Sliding across the cushions toward her, he pulled her into his arms. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I know.” Twisting around, she straddled his lap until she could press her face into his shoulder and wrap her arms around his neck, just as she’d done whenever she was upset as a little girl. “I know …”

His arms tightened around her as her sobs increased, his head tilting down until he could feel her hair against his cheek. “You’re breaking my heart, Boof.” He began rocking side to side when he felt her tears soaking through his shirt, trying to comfort her. “Maybe you shouldn’t come with us to the airport. I’ll never be able to walk away from you if you’re this upset.”

“I’ll b-be fine.” She forced the words out between hiccupping sobs. “Just l-let me get this p-part over with.”

Continuing to rock her, he let the fingers of one hand slide into her hair and pressed his lips to the side of her head, letting loose a few tears of his own as he prayed that she was right. In the past, whenever she was upset, it only took one good cry for her to begin settling down, and he hoped that this time would be no different. For both of their sakes.

The spaceship had just gone plaid on the television when she began to calm down, taking deep, steadying breaths as she relaxed against him, sniffling away the last of her tears. As she backed away, her hair caught in the black cord around his neck, pulling his necklace out from underneath his shirt. “Sorry.” Combing her fingers through the strands to untangle it, she focused on the silver pendant on the cord and froze, a small smile forming as she looked up at him. “I can’t believe you still wear that.”

“I’ve had to replace the cord a few times, but I really haven’t taken it off since you gave it to me.” His hands came up to her face, his thumbs wiping the tears away from her cheeks. “And I never will. You’re always with me, Jen. No matter where I am.” A flash of something sparked in her eyes and he couldn’t help a smile as he kissed her forehead.

She shifted forward, raising up so she could touch his face, her gaze trailing repeatedly over his features, committing them to memory. Her lips pressed against the skin just below his hairline, then moved down to make contact on each of his cheeks. Brown eyes softened as they met his and he could feel her fingers brushing against his jaw, heard her take a breath, saw her eyes close, and then she was kissing him, her lips catching his tentatively at first, then with more confidence when he responded.

His hands fell to her hips, squeezing her tightly for just a moment, until he felt her fingers moving, sliding into his hair. He groaned quietly, his arms pulling her closer to him, one hand flattening between her shoulder blades as he raised his chin just slightly, giving her more direct access.

Again and again, her mouth moved over his, until she tilted her head with a whisper of a moan – a sound that he felt more than heard – and pressed herself even more fully against him. For a moment, he couldn’t think past how perfectly her curves fit to him, as if she were made specifically to be held in his arms. Then her fingers tightened in his hair and he felt her tongue touch his, setting off a shivering reaction through him so intense, he had to try to put a little space between them.

“Jen …” Another kiss cut him off and another shudder went through him, his body responding eagerly despite his efforts to keep himself in check. Everything in him was begging to turn her onto her back, press her down into the cushions and go with the feelings, to hell with the consequences. But his brain won over his body, his hands grasping her waist and pushing her away from him. “Jen … Jenny, stop. We really need to stop.”

“I know.” She let her forehead fall to his shoulder, her breathing just as ragged as his as she tried to regain control, cringing as words from the past began bouncing around in her memory. “I know. I’m not very good at this.” He felt her shake her head slightly, clearing her throat. “I’m sorry, Josh.”

“What?” His brow furrowed in confusion as he reached up for her, pushing against her shoulders until he could almost see her face. “You’re not very good at what?”

“This.” Her gaze briefly met his before lowering to stare at his chest, a blush seeping into her cheeks as the old insults resurfaced. “The … uh, 'hands on' stuff.”

“You’re joking, right?” Incredulity lifted his voice as he touched her chin, making her look at him. “Please tell me you’re not serious right now.”

“Well, at first I thought he was just mad because I wouldn’t have sex with him …”

“Who was mad you wouldn’t have sex with him?” A hot fury burned through him, his voice sharpening. “Luke?” He growled when she nodded. “I really wish you’d have let me deck him. Just once.”

“It wasn’t just him, really. I tried dating a few other guys and apparently …” Insecurity flared in her eyes, dimming them just a little as he studied her. “Considering recent events, I think I’m finally realizing that it’s a popular opinion.”

“Jen …” Pain streaked through him at the thought of her with guys he hadn’t even known about, then his heart sank when he realized what she was telling him. “I’d never … if I made you feel that way, then I’m so sorry.” She leaned into him and he gathered her to his chest. “God, I’m sorry, Boof. I didn’t think … okay, here’s the deal.” He took a deep breath. “I really didn’t mean to start anything between us back in November. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I’m leaving, and I didn’t want to be unfair to you. Then you took me by surprise, and I couldn’t help myself.” Out of habit, he licked his lips, the faint flavor of cupcakes prompting a smile to enter his voice as he combed his fingers through her hair. “Once we were alone again, you have no idea how hard it was to not pick back up where we left off in that grocery store. Just … wow.”

“Huh?” She straightened up to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, that’s how you put it.” With a quiet laugh, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek quickly. “You, Jennifer Lawson, are completely wow. At least, you are for me.” He cleared his throat. “And it’s not just when we’re 'hands on', either. It’s pretty much anytime I’m near you.” Tilting his head, he looked at her with a thoughtful expression. “Although, I don’t think we’ve ever really been 'hands off'. Have we? We’ve always been clingy and … well, touchy with each other. It never crossed my mind to be anything else.” One eyebrow arched questioningly. “I’ve never thought twice about touching or holding you. Does … does that bother you?”

“No, of course not.”

“And when I kissed you in November, did it weird you out?”

“Did it seem like I was weirded out?” She shook her head, staring at him. “I’m pretty sure my kissing you back showed I was more than fine with it. Even though …” Her nose wrinkled slightly as she felt the blush starting to deepen. “Tonight was a little more than just wow.”

“Yeah, that was intense. That’s why I had to stop.” He leaned his forehead against hers, smiling softly. “I know part of it was because you’re upset about tomorrow, but … you know, I’m a guy and I’m going to respond like one. You were getting dangerously close to the Point of No Return, Boof. I’d say you’re pretty fantastic at the 'hands on' stuff. Especially with me.” His smile became a grin when she groaned in embarrassment. “But that’s not somewhere we need to go.”

“Right.” Her voice was uncertain as she pulled away from him. “Because we’re just friends.”

“That’s not what I was trying to say. How we react to each other should prove it’s not true, anyway. But we’re not even dating, so taking us and jumping all the way to that step in one night … you would’ve totally regretted it, Jen. There’s so much that should happen before that. If it had gone any further tonight, we wouldn’t have even made it to my bedroom, and you deserve much better than a quickie on your living room couch. It would’ve changed everything between us, at ludicrous speed.” His brow arched as he referenced the movie they were supposed to be watching. “We’re nowhere near ready for that. Not like this. And definitely not right now.”

“It’s okay, Josh. I understand.”

“Do you?” A sigh lifted his shoulders. “The timing on this is just horrible. In twenty-four hours, I’m gonna be on a different continent and there’s no telling when I’m gonna be home again. I’ve been fighting with myself for months over how I feel about you and … and I really don’t know what to do.” One of his hands came up to her face as his gaze met hers. “I know what I want to do …”

“What’s that?”

“I want to kiss you senseless and beg you to wait for me until it works out so we can try for something more.”

“Seems reasonable.” Do it. Kiss me, beg me. Please. Make me forget I was ever the worst thing that could’ve happened. She covered his hand with her own, her expression not giving away her inner dialogue. “So why don’t you?”

“Because it’s the most selfish thing I could ever do, and it’s totally unfair to you.” A touch of sadness entered his tone. “How could I ask you to waste years of your life waiting for me when Mr. Right might be walking across campus with you next week? I want that for you. For you to have someone who can be here for you, hold your hand and laugh with you.”

“I want that for you, too.” The lie passed over her lips easily, and she swallowed hard as a sick feeling settled in her stomach at the thought of him with someone else, yet again. “What if your Meant to Be is in Sweden or Germany right now, waiting for you to get there and sweep her off her feet? How unfair would it be if you missed out on her just because you were wasting time thinking about me?” Pain shot through her and she fought back fresh tears as she began to consider that – despite his words indicating the contrary – he was probably trying to let her down easy. Again. “Please don’t waste your energy on me when there could be something amazing out there for you.”

“Jenny …” His eyes narrowed as he studied her carefully. “Time and energy spent on you would never be wasted.”

“And years spent waiting for you wouldn’t be, either.”

“Point taken.” Shaking his head, he pulled her back into his chest. “I’ve got this awful feeling that I’m about to leave something really amazing behind, and no matter what I do, it’s gonna hurt. I don’t want to hurt you, Boof, but I’m afraid we’re not going to be able to avoid it.”

“I’ll be okay. I promise.” She sighed against him, determined to do whatever it took to keep him happy. “So, what do we do?”

“Well, I …” He paused, his brain skipping, desperately searching for the right thing to say. “Okay, so I think there’s potentially something else here. What do you think?”

“Agreed.” Her voice was muffled in his shirt, but he felt her nod. “Obviously.”

“But we have literally no time to see where it could go. I have no choice but to leave tomorrow and you’ve got to stay here for school. I don’t want you to miss out on anything …”

“And you shouldn’t miss out, either.”

“Sure.” A lump formed in his throat when he realized where things were going, and he tried his best to talk around it. “So how about we do like we did when I was here for the show and you were back in Bowie? We won’t be waiting on each other, but we’re going to be in contact as much as possible. I won’t be home as much, but I promise to try to split my time between Bowie and here whenever I can, or you can meet me there for a visit. Whenever we’re together, I want it to be as if I never left. And if things change for either one of us, then we just let the other know. But until that happens, please don’t hold it against me if I need to kiss you every now and again.”

“All right.” It sounded perfectly terrible, but she was grasping for whatever she could get. “We just keep on keeping on, huh?”

“Right.” His hands came back to her face, moving her so that he could meet her eyes. “And if a time comes where I’m back in the States to stay, or if you graduate and decide Europe is for you … if neither of us is attached and we still want to try, then we need to say so.” A small smile lifted his features as his thumbs brushed over her cheeks. “No matter what happens, you’re always going to be the person in my life. You’ll always be my girl. Someday, I’d love to have a chance at something amazing with you, Jen. I want to be able to take our time, enjoy each other and – if it feels right – maybe even work our way back to where we were headed tonight. But for now, the timing just doesn’t fit.”

“I understand.” Another pang shot through her, and she suddenly wondered if there would ever be a time when her heart wasn’t breaking over him. One tear trailed down her face, only stopping when it hit his fingers, and she allowed herself a brief, useless fantasy of an ending where he made his way back around to her. “Is it pathetic of me to wish that someday would hurry up and get here?”

“I hope not, because we’re in the same boat.” Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Are you all right?”

“Not really, but I’ll get there.” Her fingers ruffled his hair as she backed out of his arms, trying to give him a convincing smile as she moved over to the cushions she’d vacated earlier. “I’ll be fine, Josh. I just need some time.” I have to get over you all over again.

“Okay.” He glanced at the TV, laughing when he saw the last of the end credits scrolling across the screen. “So much for watching a movie.” His brow arched and he looked her direction. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah. I promise not to cry all over you this time.” She cut her eyes over to him, biting back a smile as she set the video to rewind. “And I’ll do my best not to attack you again.”

“That part really wasn’t so bad, you know.” Winking at her, he reached over and took her hand, raising it to his lips. “You can attack me anytime, Boof.”

A snort preceded her laughter, the sound making him breathe easier around the knot in his chest as his gaze landed on the hand he still held. Once the movie was playing, she leaned against him as she always did, her hair falling down to tickle his arm, and he turned his hand, lacing his fingers through hers and giving a squeeze before letting them rest on his thigh. For one desperate moment, he tried to memorize the feeling of their entwined hands, knowing he’d just forfeited his chance to lay an immediate claim on this wonderful, precious, beautiful girl … and trying to get around the ugly feeling that he was making a major mistake.

******************************

“Norwegian Air flight D3584 to Copenhagen will begin boarding at Gate 16C in twenty minutes. Norwegian Air flight D3584 to Copenhagen will begin boarding at Gate 16C in twenty minutes. First class passengers please be preparing for the pre-boarding pass check.”

“That’s you guys.” Jen looked over at JC with a smile before moving to get up. “I’m gonna get hugs in before things get crazy. Be right back.” She made her way to the pair closest to the boarding area, laughing quietly as she watched Diane dig frantically through her carry-on bag for something, nodding in agreement to whatever her son was saying.

“Hey, Girlie.” Lance grinned as she approached, draping an arm over her shoulders to pull her into his side. “It’s about that time, huh?”

“Yeah, I figured I should collect hugs while people were still kind of calm.”

“So you started with the least travelled of the bunch?” His brow arched teasingly. “Smart move.”

“I started with the one I thought might need more encouragement.” She laughed and turned into him, looping her arms around his waist. “You know you’re awesome, right?”

“Before I came here, I’d probably have argued with you, but I think I’m getting there.” He tightened his hold on her, leaning down to speak softly in her ear. “I was about to quit, you know.”

“No, you weren’t.” Pulling back, her gaze darted over to see Diane nodding, then returned to him, studying his grave features. “Seriously? Why?”

“Because I wasn’t cutting it and I knew it. Half my bags were packed the night before you came to the warehouse. I’d already talked to Mom and we were going to give it a few more days, then book a flight back home if the next rehearsals didn’t go better.” His expression lightened with a small smile. “And then you swept in like some tiny Wonder Woman, tossed us into your basement with a few of your school buddies and things just magically clicked.”

“There wasn’t anything magical about it. You worked your butt off those first few months and you know it. You just needed a little extra help. Everybody does sometimes.” Her eyes narrowed at him and she poked his shoulder. “They need you, Mississippi. It wouldn’t be the same without you. And don’t you ever forget it.”

“I won’t.” He hugged her close again. “I’ve found a family here, and I’m so glad you’re part of it, Jenny.”

“Lance …” She found herself fighting back tears, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat. “Ugh, Josh is going to kill you if you make me cry.” As if he hasn’t made me cry enough. A quiet laugh escaped into his chest and she took a deep breath, leaning her cheek against him as she turned to face Diane. “Thank you both again for the print. It’ll look great in my rehearsal area.”

“I was happy with how it turned out.” Diane smiled, reaching out to place a hand on Jen’s arm. “We meant to have it for you at Christmas, but the framing took longer than expected. I wanted it to be perfect.”

“It is. I kind of feel bad about trying to get out of it.” The group photo from after their Pleasure Island showcase had turned out beautifully, and Diane had selected a gorgeous walnut framing that accented the coloring perfectly. “Thank you so much.”

“After all you’ve done for not just Lance, but for all of them, it was the least we could do.” The older woman held out a white envelope toward her. “I forgot about these when we stopped by yesterday. It’s just a few other photos I found while I was packing up last week, but I thought you’d like to have them.”

“Awesome.” She took the envelope with a grateful nod. “Thank you.” Reaching up, she ruffled Lance’s hair and smiled. “Take care of yourselves over there, okay?”

“We will. You, too, Girlie.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek. “We’ll keep in touch.”

“You’d better. I want to hear all about it.” Her hand squeezed Diane’s as she began to move away, sliding the photos into her back pocket. “See you later.”

“See you later, Jenny.”

Jen had to steady herself as she walked over to the next pair, Justin already bouncing with a grin as she approached.

“Come here, Shorty.” He didn’t wait for her, just grabbed her up in his arms and swung her around, pressing a quick kiss to the side of her head. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m all right.” She laughed, hugging his neck tightly. “Just wondering what I’m going to do without you and Joe trying to destroy my house on a daily basis, that’s all.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “I’ll miss you, too, Jenny.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re going to miss my fried chicken and spaghetti with meatballs, right?”

“Don’t remind me. You’ll get me crying and I’ll lose my man card before we even get on the plane.”

“I think you got a head start on that when you got yourself pierced.” A grin lit her features as she flipped at one of the sparkling studs. “What man wears diamonds in his ears?”

“Lots of us do, if you haven’t noticed.” He leaned down with a laugh, letting her feet hit the floor but refusing to let her back away. “I really will miss you, Jen.”

“And I’ll really miss you, too, kid.”

“I meant what I said yesterday.” Straightening up, he tightened his hands on her shoulders. “I might’ve had a crush on you to start with, but you’re the closest thing to a big sister I’ve ever had. If you need me to beat somebody down, just say so. I’ll be on the next flight home.” His eyes cut over toward where JC was sitting. “Or, you know, if I need to knock some sense into anyone in my corner of the world, I can do that, too.”

“Thanks, J. I’ll keep that in mind.” She sighed and glanced over at Lynn, who was shaking her head and rolling her eyes at her oversized son. “Don’t drive your mother crazy over there, okay? Behave yourself.”

“But it’s so hard.” The fake whine trailed off into a cough, and he squeezed her into one more hug, not noticing the look of appreciation Lynn sent toward Jen. “I’ll be a perfect angel, I promise.” He shook his head when neither of the women could hold back their laughter. “Yeah. Anyway, keep us posted, okay? We want to know all about what’s going on with you.”

“I will. I promise.” She went on her toes and still had to pull him down so she could kiss his cheek. “Later, little bro.”

“Later, Shorty.”

******************************

“You think she’s doing okay?”

JC jumped, startled, as Chris plopped down in the seat Jen had vacated a few minutes prior. “I guess so. She looked like she was getting a little teary with Lance, but she seems to be fine now.”

“Well, she’s about to get to Joey’s bunch … just look at them. I think they have an unwritten rule against sadness or something.” A dark brow rose as he glanced back at JC. “As long as you guys worked everything out last night, then it’s all good.”

“Yeah, we did.” He smiled as he watched Joey dancing with her, spinning her until she landed in his father’s arms, laughing.

“I’ll say you did.”

“Huh?” Blue eyes narrowed, focusing on his friend. “What do you mean?”

“Really?” Chris laughed. “Dude, you guys were so into it, you didn’t even hear me walking through the room.” A devilish grin lit his features. “I passed right in front of her. If she hadn’t been so focused on you, she could’ve reached out and touched me.” He shook his head. “I’ve never considered Spaceballs to be a make-out worthy flick, but maybe I’ll have to try it.”

“Chris …” JC groaned, covering his face with his hands. “That was before we talked.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No. She was upset and crying, then she started to calm down and noticed I still wear the necklace she got me when I turned sixteen …”

“Ahh. I’ve been wondering about that. Mystery solved.”

“Okay.” A confused look crossed JC’s face, but he shook it away to continue. “Anyway, one thing led to another and the next thing I know, I’m having to keep her from taking it too far.”

“Damn, Jace.”

“I know.” He groaned. “Hell, if I hadn’t pushed her away when I did, we would’ve ruined everything without thinking twice.”

“But you stopped it and you talked it out.” Chris put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s good, C. Did we end up with a happy ending?”

“Not really.” JC sighed, then smiled when he saw her giving Joey another hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I told her everything: that I thought there could be more between us, how I didn’t want to hurt her and I really didn’t know what to do about it.”

“And?”

“She said basically the same thing.” He swallowed hard as she turned away from the Fatones, walking slowly toward them. “We both think there could be something more, but neither of us wants the other to miss out on anything, either. We’re not waiting on each other, but someday, if the timing is right, we’ll give it a shot.”

“Seriously?” Chris stared at him as if he’d grown another head. “After all that, you guys are just leaving it at 'maybe someday'? What the hell are you doing?”

“I have no idea, man. I literally have no damn idea what I’m doing.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Probably screwing the entire thing up.”

“Jace, you love the girl. Lock her down. Right now. Be honest with her.” Concerned dark eyes jumped back and forth between JC and the quickly approaching Jen. “If you don’t, you’re basically telling her to find somebody else. And she will, no doubt. I’ve seen Brian’s crew around her, and Joey’s brother isn’t exactly keeping it quiet, either. They’re just waiting for you to be out of the picture.”

“We have an agreement, Chris. I can’t go back on it now.” He pasted a smile on his face as she came close, still giggling quietly over something. “Hey, Boof. You all right?”

“Joey gifted me with the Fatone Family Hedge of Protection, whatever that’s supposed to mean.” She shook her head in bewilderment. “It kind of feels like I just got served with a protective order by the mob or something.”

“Well, they are from Brooklyn, you know.” With a laugh, Chris stood up and moved toward her. “My turn, Gracie. What’ve you got for me?”

“All I’ve got are hugs today, Spazz.” A smile softened her features as he pulled her to him. “Will that be enough?”

“That’s plenty.” His lips moved against her hair before he kissed the top of her head. “You’ll be okay, right, Jenny?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. The spring semester’s starting up in the next few weeks, and I’ll be busy with classes and stuff. And Mom said she might be coming down to escape the snow up north, so I’ll have all kinds of distractions.” She leaned back to look at him. “Just drop a line every now and again so I know you’re still alive, okay?”

“Sure thing. Same to you.” He squeezed her tightly. “And if you figure out that file share thing, be sure to use it. You might have missed out on Song of the Year at the Grammys this year, but it still got two artist nominations. I’ll bet you’re a real contender for next year, and I want to be one of the first to hear it.”

“Yeah, I’ll get with Brian and see if he can’t help me out with that.” Her brow furrowed. “Or maybe Adam already knows how to use it. Whatever, we’ll work it out.” A quick glance over his shoulder gave her a brief glimpse of JC, checking his watch and the departure board on the wall, and she leaned in closer to Chris. “Take care of him for me. Please?”

“Of course. He’s in good hands, Gracie. We’ll do right by him.”

“I know, but …”

“But it still hurts that he’s going to be so far out of reach. I get it.” He took in her slightly distressed expression. “You’re going to wait for him, aren’t you?”

“I want to, but if that’s not what he wants, then I don’t see any reason to.” She gave an almost silent laugh. “He has a valid point about not wanting me to miss out on anything. I want that for him, too, even if a big part of me wonders if he isn’t just trying to let me down easy again.” Her eyes trailed over his shoulder once more, completely missing the alertly confused look on Chris’ face as she took in another view of JC’s profile. “I love him, but what if all the best things for him are waiting over in Europe?”

“There may be some opportunities there for him, but he’s never going to find anyone better than you, just like you’re not going to be able to find anyone else who lights up your world the way he does.” Hugging her again, he turned her slightly away. “Please don’t give up on him. He’s fighting against himself because he’s trying to do whatever’s best for you, no matter what he really wants. I still think it’s gonna work out, just maybe not today.”

“I hope you’re right, Chris. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” For a moment, her focus landed on the hoops and studs in his ears, and she shook her head before leaning back. “Enough about my drama. Yours was the only duffel I could get to that had any extra room, so I snuck some treats in for everybody. They’re labeled, if you don’t mind sorting them out once you get settled over there.”

“Oh, man. Already spoiling us from a distance.” Grinning, he set her away from him. “I’ve got you covered, Jenny.” Leaning in to kiss her cheek, he lowered his voice. “Now, go give him a farewell that’ll make him think twice about walking away from you.”

“Yeah, right.” She gave a short laugh, reaching up to punch him on the shoulder. “Talk to you soon, Spazz.”

“You got it, kid.”

“Norwegian Air flight D3584 to Copenhagen will begin boarding at Gate 16C in ten minutes. Norwegian Air flight D3584 to Copenhagen will begin boarding at Gate 16C in ten minutes. First class passengers please appear for pass check. All other passengers be on standby for row announcements.”

“Hey.” JC put his hat on his head and stood as she approached him, studying her carefully. “We’ve only got a few minutes …”

“Yeah.” Stopping in front of him, her gaze traveled over his face. “Do me a favor?”

“Sure.” His brow arched questioningly.

“I know they’re going to restyle you and everything, but …” She tilted her head. “Do not let them pierce your ears.”

“Hey!” Chris’ voice carried to her, making her laugh at his affronted tone.

“It’s not personal, Chris.” JC laughed quietly and reached for her hand as she kept her focus on him, her smile lighting her eyes, her cheeks turning slightly pink. “It’s just … a preference.”

“No problem, Boof.” Leaning down, he grasped the strap of his duffel with his free hand, then straightened and hitched it over his shoulder, looking around for any place that could offer a little privacy. “No piercings, no tattoos. You know how I feel about painful, sharp things.”

“Yeah, I remember. I just wanted to be sure.” She followed him as he pulled her along toward a vacant corner not far from where Lance and Diane were waiting. Once there, he tucked her against the wall, dropping his bag to the ground. “What are you doing?”

“This is the quietest place that’s close …” Shaking his head, he looked her over again. “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”

“I’ll be fine.” Her hand came to rest on his arm. “Your dreams are coming true, Josh. Enjoy every minute. Soak up all the fabulous things that are heading your way and get rid of that worry. Okay?”

“I know, I know.” He pulled her close, taking a deep breath when her arms went around his waist. “I’m gonna miss you, Jenny.”

“You’re gonna be so busy, you won’t even notice I’m not there.”

“Not a chance.”

“Josh …” She anticipated his next move, reaching up to take off his hat so the brim wouldn’t hit her in the forehead as he lifted her off the ground, dropping it next to his bag before hugging him tightly around the neck, burying her face against him. “Please … please be careful. Please stay safe.” Her chest heaved in a shuddering breath when she felt him pressing kisses into her hair. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will. But you have to do the same.” His chin rested against the side of her head as he squeezed her tighter, beginning to sway back and forth. “God, it’s killing me that I have to leave you here. Who’s gonna have your back while I’m gone? Who’ll make sure you keep yourself at the top of your priorities list? Who’ll keep you from running yourself into the ground?”

“Stop. It’s gonna drive me crazy, knowing that you’re worried about me all the time.” Hugged against him as she was, she felt the outline of his necklace through his shirt and pulled back just enough to see him, her fingers pressing the pendant into his skin. “I don’t want you to worry about me, but could you just … think of me?”

“Always.” His hand came up to cover hers. “I promise.”

“That’s going against our agreement.” Her mouth curved slightly as she reminded him, the sadness in her eyes sending a jolt of pain ripping through him. “I don’t need 'always', just an 'every now and then'.” She pressed her lips to the back of his hand. “Take a sight-seeing boat trip, go up in the SkyView, meet a producer, visit a museum, record a hit song … whenever something amazing happens, or you see something you never thought you would, think of me. Because I’ll never stop believing in you, or in all the fantastic things I know you’re gonna do.”

“My God, Jen.” He closed his eyes, letting his forehead rest against hers as he lowered her to the floor. “I know what we agreed to, but to hell with it. I’m seriously close to dragging you on that plane with me.”

“Not this time. Maybe …” She thought quickly, figuring out her planned class schedule as his eyes opened to meet hers. “Maybe next spring? I know it’s a year away, but if you’re still there, I’d like to come out.”

“Yes. Definitely. Just set a date and we’ll make it work.” His teeth worked over his bottom lip, his gaze moving slowly over her features. “We could take that boat trip together.”

“That’d be nice. And maybe …” Her words were cut off when his fingers slid into her hair, tipping her head back so he could press his lips to hers. Responding to him was almost second nature by now, her arms going around his waist as she matched his every movement, all fears of being his worst anything flying out the window. Yep. Screw the agreement. I’m totally waiting for you. She smiled against him as she made the decision, going on her toes to chase after him when he tried to pull away.

His hands came to cradle her face and she reached up to wrap her fingers around his wrists, holding him to her for a few more kisses before she let him back away completely. “Wow.” A rough sigh shook his chest as he hugged her closely, shaking his head at himself. “I can’t believe I thought I could … God, I’m an idiot.”

“At least you own up to it.” Her hand went to the back of his neck, pulling him down until she could kiss him again. “Just make sure you think about that whenever Gisele or Marta tries to make a move on you.” She laughed against him, her arms going back around his waist as she pressed her face into his shirt and took a deep breath. “Or, you know, every now and again, for the heck of it.”

“Count on it.” He laughed, holding her even tighter. “I’m about to be incredibly selfish, Jenny.”

“Thank God.” Her voice was muffled by the cotton across his chest, and she tilted her head to see him. “What’s wrong with being selfish?”

“With us being so far apart, things could still change. Mr. Right could show up with perfect words and flowers and sweep you off your feet. If he does, just let me know. I’ll understand.”

“My Mr. Right will come bearing stuffed animals. I’d rather have a teddy bear than flowers.” A soft sigh escaped. “And Marta could be your Meant to Be. If it turns out that way, it’ll be okay.” A slight grimace crossed her face. “At least, I’ll do my best to pretend it is until I get over it.”

“Yeah, sounds about right for me, too. But until then …” She felt him moving, then his voice was directly beside her ear. “I still don’t think we should call it dating, because we’re really not going to see each other much, but everything in me wants to wait for you. So, wait for me, Boof. Please?”

“Yes.” Her arms tightened around him. “That’s all I wanted.”

“Thank God.” The knot in his chest suddenly released, allowing him to breathe deeply for the first time in what felt like weeks. “It might be a few years …”

“You’re worth it.” Turning slightly, she raised her chin to kiss him, almost crying in relief at the whisper of joy that fluttered in her heart when he responded. “Months, years … I don’t care how long. You’ll always be worth it.” He felt her smile before her lips caught his again. “And unless you give me a reason that I shouldn’t, please don’t hold it against me if I need to kiss you every time I see you.”

“Oh, I won’t.” His chest shook with quiet laughter at her rephrasing of his words. “And that goes both ways, you know.”

“It’d better.”

“Norwegian Air flight D3584 to Copenhagen is currently boarding first class passengers at Gate 16C. First class passengers please appear for boarding. Row announcements for all other passengers will begin momentarily.”

“Okay, you’re up next.” Putting a little space between them, she looked up at him. “There’s a gift for you in your bag. It might make the flight a little easier.”

“Thanks.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, smiling against her skin. “I left something for you on my bed. I hope it makes you think of me.”

“Always.” She repeated his promise from earlier, huddling as closely to his chest as she could and allowing herself just a brief moment of total honesty. “I love you, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” His fingers clutched the fabric of her shirt, then he wrapped his arms tightly around her and leaned down until his cheek rested against her hair. “I love you, too, Jenny.”

Pressing her face into him, she took in a deep breath of his scent. Even though she knew he didn’t mean the words to the same extent as she, they were healing all the same. She knew he had no clue what a balm they were to her injured spirit, had no idea how they repaired the small pieces of her that had been chipped away each time she’d found herself lacking, unworthy of him. Hope sprang up in her chest, just slightly stronger than the flutter of joy from a few moments ago, and she thought that maybe she could feel a bit of the spark she’d lost so long ago trying to sputter back to life.

“Norwegian Air flight D3584 to Copenhagen is currently boarding passengers seated in rows A through G at Gate 16C. All passengers please appear for boarding.”

And now she had to let him go.

“That’s you.” Stepping away from him, she bent down to retrieve his hat, then reached up to put it on his head. “E-mail or call whenever you get a chance, okay?”

“I will.” He lifted his bag, adjusting the strap over his shoulder and checking that his boarding pass was in the side pocket before bringing his hand to her face. “It might be nice to have a message waiting when I get there.”

“I think I can do that.” She smiled, turning her cheek into his palm. “Talk to you soon?”

“Not soon enough.” Leaning down, he gave her one last kiss. As he backed away, he let his thumb stroke her skin, then felt himself freeze at the realization that he hadn’t seen the happy spark now lighting her eyes in a long time. Studying her carefully, he tried to remember when he’d seen it last. Yes, she’d been content, and he’d thought she’d been happy, but it just now became clear that the fire he’d loved about her since they were kids had been missing. When had she lost it? And why? What had happened to dim the spirit she’d always had about her?

And – looking at her now – he suddenly knew that whatever had chased it away, she’d needed him to bring it back. He fought against a grin as he thought about the gifts he’d left for her, knowing how perfect they were, hoping she’d be able to see what he’d been trying to tell her. Tugging her close, he hugged her tightly, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo, wondering if she could feel the quick pace of his pulse in his chest.

“Hey, Jace! Let’s go, man!”

Justin’s voice carried from the boarding line, and JC glanced over to see the rest of the guys already waiting, boarding passes ready to hand to the agent. Lowering his voice, he bent until only she could hear him. “I can’t just stay here with you, can I?”

“Nope. I wish you could, but ...” She leaned into him, squeezing him in a quick hug. “You’ve got people depending on you. And your dreams are waiting.”

But half of my dreams are right here. Groaning quietly, he let his lips graze her forehead before stepping away from her. “Okay, I’m going. I’ll see you later, Boof.”

“Go make me proud.” The way she was looking at him made his heart stutter, her smile sending a warm wave through him. “Have a safe flight, Josh.”

He could feel her eyes on him as he made his way toward the line at the counter, stepping into place behind Chris, who was sporting a rather pleased expression. With a sigh, JC pulled his pass from his bag and shifted his stance. “Not now, Chris. Please?”

“I wasn’t going to say a word, C. I think the smile you just put on Gracie’s face says it all.” Dark eyes flashed with his grin. “Happy looks good on her, man.”

“The terms of our agreement have changed.” He arched one brow, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “And?”

“And if you don’t want Joe and J making your life hell for the next sixteen hours, you might want to get that shine off your mouth.” Chris laughed under his breath, reaching out to take his pass from the agent at the counter. “Just a suggestion.”

“Right.” Automatically, he ran the tip of his tongue across his lips, groaning slightly when he tasted chocolate. Handing over his boarding pass, he glanced quickly back across the waiting area, his gaze clashing with hers as he licked his lips again. She only grinned sweetly, then laughed and waved before sending him an exaggerated wink. With a laugh of his own, he shook his head and retrieved the paperwork being held out to him, waving back at her before turning and following Chris down the hallway to board the plane, knowing full well that he was leaving his heart behind.