September, 1982

Back, forth.

The squeaking of the swing chains echoed through the little girl’s thoughts as she stared into space.

Back, forth.

The world swayed before her as she swung lightly, her toes scraping through the dirt and her fingers gripping tightly around the chains as the other kids ran in groups around her.

The first day of school was the absolute worst. It was a day of first impressions, when kids judged whether you were someone they would hang out with, if they thought you were cool or if you would be the class 'geekwad'.

Apparently, she’d been voted 'geekwad' for Ms. Morgan’s first grade class. Not one person had spoken to her, save for the teacher, and that was only when roll was called this morning. Of course, that was how the new kid was usually treated. She’d seen it a few times last year. This class was full of kids who knew each other from kindergarten, knew who would be the coolest friend to have and who to ignore.

She didn’t know anybody and nobody knew who she was, either, so she was going to have to make that extra effort to fit in, to meet the others. But she was shy and really didn’t have the guts to stand up and announce her presence to the entire class. She was much more comfortable right here, sitting by herself on the swing set, watching everybody else run around and play on the other equipment.

The soles of her sneakers dragged the ground as she looked down at her neatly pressed jeans and Smurf t-shirt, a small smile crossing her features when the theme song from her favorite cartoon escaped from her throat in a hum. The smile quickly faded as she realized how kindergarten the cartoon was. It simply wouldn’t work for a first grader. Determination made her eyes narrow, and she vowed to find a new favorite television show before she fell asleep that night. Something not so babyish. Something more suitable for a kid who’d turned six a few weeks ago.

She didn’t realize she’d come to a stop until the swing creaked softly, swaying gently with the soft breeze that had picked up. Lifting her small hand, she let it move with the slight wind, not minding one bit that she wasn’t swinging. She turned her face into the breeze, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, letting the pure air cleanse her spirit and clear her thoughts.

“Do you need a push?”

Her head whipped around, wide brown eyes flying open to clash with brilliant cobalt.

He was smiling shyly at her, his hands shoved into his pockets.

She recognized him as the boy from the back of the classroom. He was quiet, but his smile, though somewhat crooked, was soothing, prompting her to smile back at him. “If you want. I’m not gonna make you, though.”

Stepping forward, he placed his hands firmly on her back and gave her a good push, sending her rushing forward.

Within moments she was flying.

She threw her head back, letting her ponytail stream behind her, her smile unmistakable from his view every time she whizzed past him, the expression on her face revealing exactly how she felt … free.

----------------------------------------

November, 1984

“Are you sure you want to go all the way to the top?”

“Yeah. Come on, it’s not that much higher. Just a few more branches.”

“Well, you go right ahead. I’m happy right here.”

“Chicken. Live a little.”

“I’m eight. I live plenty.”

“Whatever.”

“Be careful, okay? It’s really high up there.”

“It’s fine.” He stretched upward, determined to make it all the way to highest branch, rolling his eyes at her caution.

Her eyes widened when he grabbed onto a weak-looking branch. “Josh, don’t try that one, try a different one.”

“I know what I’m doing, okay?” His hand tightened on the limb, which bent dangerously as he pulled up his weight.

“Josh …”

The limb snapped in his hand, and she caught his terrified expression as he scrabbled for a solid branch as he fell.

She was already swinging herself down when he landed with a thud in the pile of leaves at the base of the tree. Her feet hit solid ground right next to him and she immediately fell to her knees, her eyes scanning for blood that might stain his clothing. “Josh, are you all right?”

He didn’t respond. No movement, twitch, moan. Nothing.

“Josh?” Her hands traveled from his head to his shoulders then moved down his arms, unsure of what she was looking for, but she’d seen it on television, so there had to be some point to it. “Josh?”

Still nothing.

Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she smoothed her hands over his head and face once again, brushing the leaves from his hair. “Josh. Come on, Josh.” She could hear her own tears as her voice wobbled.

Her arms snaked around her legs, hugging her knees to her chest as she sat next to him, crying quietly as she scrambled for an idea of what to do. The only thing she could conjure up was a panicked, frightened blank and she buried her face in her knees, the tears soaking through her jeans as her shoulders hitched with her deep breaths.

Then, in a moment of silence, she heard it.

Quiet laughter. Crunching leaves as he rolled.

“Hey, don’t cry.”

She raised her head to meet his eyes, which quickly turned from laughing to regretful when he saw her tear-streaked face.

“Oh, man. I was just kidding. Don’t cry. I’m all right.”

The trembling of her fingers was obvious as she wiped her eyes, then swung a fist to punch him sharply on the shoulder. “Don’t you ever do anything like that again, you jerk! You scared me to death!”

“I’m sorry. Come on, get up.” He helped her to her feet, pulling her into a hug. “I’ll never do it again, I swear.”

Her hands clutched at him desperately, then she pushed him away, wiping her eyes again to glare at him. “Right.”

He followed her as she walked away from the tree and toward her house. “Come on, Jenny. I’m sorry.”

“Just give me a little while to get over it, okay? For a minute there, I thought you were dead.” She turned to face him in her driveway. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

“Is that why you freaked out? You thought I was dead? I was breathing, Jen. You thought of everything but that.”

“I panicked. So sue me.” Her shoulders rose in a poor attempt at a noncommittal shrug, and he could still tell that she was shaken.

When she turned to go up her front steps, he grabbed her arm and turned her around, pulling her back into another hug, where she started sobbing against him again.

“Hey. Everything’s okay. I’m fine. You’re fine. The tree’s fine.” A watery laugh escaped, muffled by his shirt, reassuring him slightly. “There’s nothing to worry about. I was stupid and I’m sorry.” His brow furrowed when he felt her trembling, her whole body shaking as she fought to take deep breaths. “Come on, calm down. I’m right here.”

Finally, she was able to raise her head, her fingers coming up to dry the fresh tears. “You’re my best friend and I thought I’d lost you. That … that scared me. Losing you is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.”

“Wow.” His eyes widened. “I didn’t know you cared so much.”

She rolled her eyes as she unlocked the door, then motioned him in. “Guys are so dense. Don’t you know by now that I love you?” He stopped to look at her, and she grinned. “Through thick and thin, friends to the end. Right?”

With a smile, he leaned over and wrapped an arm around her. “Right.”

----------------------------------------

April, 1988

“I still can’t believe she said yes!”

Jen rolled her eyes as she bent to dig the baseball out of the bushes. “Yeah, shocker. She’s just been after you all freakin’ year.” She muttered to herself as she got down on her knees and crawled into the branches, until she finally found it underneath some low hanging leaves. As she stood, she plastered a grin on her face and dusted off her jeans. “Yeah, Josh. It’s awesome.”

“Candice Patterson said yes to me, Jen.” He was bouncing in place, that silly smile still lighting up his eyes as he swung the baseball bat back and forth. “The most popular girl in our grade is going with me to the sixth-grade prom. Not Adam Levine. Not Mike Hill. Me.”

“Adam and Mike are both losers. You know that.” She tossed the ball up and caught it in her glove. “Why everybody wants to be around those jerks … I just don’t get it.”

“They might be losers, but they’re the popular guys.” He laughed. “And she said no to them and yes to me. This is gonna be such a blast.”

“It’s the last dance of the year for us, of course it’ll be a blast.” Her eyes followed the ball as she flipped it into the air and caught it just before it hit the ground. “I really don’t think it’ll matter who you’re there with.”

“Oh, yeah, it matters.” A deep breath escaped as he looked to the sky, his voice going dreamy again. “Dances are always fun, but … well, Candice makes this one perfect.”

At his words, a pang of hurt streaked through her. Every other dance, they’d gone together. And while she knew he wasn’t trying to say that Candice was better company, his words caused a pain all the same. Ignoring the lingering sting, she shook her head, the ponytail on the top of her head swishing over her shoulders. “How long have you had a crush on her, Josh?”

His head jerked down and he stared at her. “What?”

“Candice. How long have you had a crush on her?”

“Oh … um, well …” The tips of his ears turned red with his blush. “I don’t know. I think … maybe since October.”

“October, huh?” She tilted her head and studied him. “What do you like about her?”

“Well, she’s cute. And she’s a cheerleader. And she’s smart.” The bat went around again as he thought. “And she’s nice. And funny.” He lifted his eyes and grinned as he watched her toss the ball once more. “She’s not like the other girls in our class.”

“Yes, she is.”

“What?”

“She’s exactly like every other girl in our class. They all want to be her, so she’s probably more of a ringleader than anything else.” Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the ball, pressing it into the palm of her glove forcibly. “You’re a guy, so you don’t see it.”

“No, you’re a girl, so you don’t see it.” Blue eyes moved over her contemplatively. “She reminds me a lot of you.”

“Me?” The disbelief was written all over her face, and she had to fight to keep the disgust out of her tone. “You can’t be serious.”

“Why not? Smart, nice, cute, funny …” He ticked the adjectives off on his fingers. “She’s a blonde version of you. The cheerleader part is just an added bonus.”

A laugh escaped and she kept her eyes on the white sphere as she tossed it in the air once again. “I’m cute? Yeah, right.”

“Seth Akers thinks you are.” His smile turned evil as he kept going. “He told me so.”

She froze, not even noticing the ball hit the ground at her feet. “You’re joking, right?”

“Nope. He stopped me in the hall the other day to ask about you. Wanted to know if you were coming Friday night. I had to tell him I didn’t know.” If possible, his expression became even more devilish. “He’s got your phone number, though. He may just ask you for himself.”

“No way.” Eyes wide, she shook her head back and forth, stammering as her words caught in her throat. “I’m not … I don’t … He’s not …”

Ignoring her stuttering, he tightened his grip on the bat and swung it around again. “Just face it. You won’t be able to tell him no. And you’ll come to the dance and we’ll have a good time, just like always.”

She blinked several times, then shrugged. “Well, yeah. I guess.”

He sent her a knowing smile and took a hitting stance. “How about you stop guessing and throw me a good one?”

“Sure. If you can hit it, I’ll be amazed.”

As always when he was at the plate, everything slowed into half time as his grip tightened around the bat. Blue eyes locked on the ball in her hand as she wound up, her arm whipping forward to let it fly. He bit his lip as the ball flew toward him, then swung the bat, the wood connecting with the ball in a very satisfying cracking noise. The ball sailed high over her head and they both just stood back and watched it sail …

Straight through the Lawson’s living room window.

The glass shattered with a loud crash, followed immediately by a second breaking sound … the lamp by the couch.

“Holy God in Heaven.”

Her hand was covering her mouth, her eyes wide as his voice was the only thing she could hear. Turning to look at him, she saw his horrified expression, the bat still poised over his shoulder as if he’d just finished the swing.

“I’m dead. I’m so dead.”

“Jennifer Nicole!”

The scream from inside the house was deafening and it snapped her brain back into action. Josh had broken the window. A broken window meant definite grounding. For her, grounding meant no dance. She really wanted to go, but not nearly as badly as he did. There would always be another dance to go to.

For him, grounding meant no dance, but that also meant no Candice. He was looking forward to that, so excited about being there to hang out and dance with the popular kids. Dances weren’t a rarity by any means, but chances were, there wouldn’t be another time that he could say he’d taken the Princess Candice to a school dance. Plus, backing out on Candice Patterson, no matter what the circumstances, was a major social no-no.

A quiet sigh escaped when she realized that there was no way she’d be able to live with herself if she let him take the blame and miss his sixth-grade prom. He deserved better than to be stuck going to every dance with his best friend, who rated no higher than just being one of the guys. Her heart sank as she realized how badly she wanted him to have the chance to go on a date with one of the prettiest girls in their class.

Glancing down at the glove covering her hand, she swallowed hard, knowing that she’d do anything for him to be that happy, no matter what it cost her. Without another thought, she was pulling the soft leather from her fingers and rushing over to him, taking the bat from his hands and shoving her glove against his chest. “Get over there.”

“Huh?”

“She didn’t see who did it.” She groaned and pushed him until he was positioned where she’d been standing. “Stay here!”

He looked around, dazed, his eyes widening as he realized that it would seem as though he’d been pitching. “Wait. Jen …”

“Shut up! Here she comes.” She was able to send him a reassuring glance before the front door slammed open and Lisa Lawson was storming across the yard, just the sight making them both tremble in fear. By the time the woman had reached them, the bat was visibly shaking in Jen’s hands. “Oh, God. Mom, I’m sorry.”

“How many times have we told you to hit the ball away from the house?”

“Mom, I ..”

“Just wait until your father gets home, young lady …”

“He’s already home.” All three of them turned at the new voice, surprised to see Steve Lawson coming around the corner and into the side yard. “What happened here?”

“Your daughter just shattered our living room window.” Lisa glared down at Jen. “And my grandmother’s antique lamp.”

Jen swallowed hard as she watched her father’s eyes flicker over to the house, then back to give her a stern look. “Jennifer?”

“I didn’t mean to, Daddy. It was an accident.” She flinched when the bat slipped from her fingers to land on the ground.

The paternal gaze moved from her over to Josh. “And you?”

The glove on his hand began to tremble and his eyes widened as though he were trapped in a set of headlights. “I … I …”

She saw his terrified look and jumped in before he could blow the whole thing. “He didn’t do anything but throw the ball, Dad. It wasn’t his fault.”

“Uh huh.” Steve stood there silently for a minute, a measuring glance moving between the two kids before turning to his wife. “What’s that smell?”

“Oh! My bread!” Lisa took off at a run for the back door, leaving the group behind to sort things out between themselves.

Jen looked at the broken window, then down at the ground. “I’m really sorry, Daddy.”

“I know you are. I’ve broken my fair share of windows, so I know what it’s like.” His eyes shifted back and forth between them again. “Okay, kids. I’m not buying it, but I’m not going to push it, either. Joshua, take your bat and head home. Jenny and I have some talking to do.”

Josh stared at Jen as he took off the glove, shaking his head at her as he stepped up next to her father. “Mr. Lawson, I …”

“He didn’t know I could hit the ball that hard.” She interrupted, pulling her gaze up until she could see them both. “Right, Josh?”

“Um …” He took in her slightly widened eyes, saw the well-masked threat hidden there, and cleared his throat. “Y-yeah. That’s right.”

“Okay.” Steve nodded shortly, his focus never leaving his daughter. “Go on, Josh.”

“Yes, sir.” Josh stooped quickly, picking up his bat and mouthing a silent I’m sorry to Jen before turning to walk down the driveway.

Father and daughter watched as he left, then slowly turned back to each other.

“Any particular reason why you’re covering for him?”

“What?” Jen did her best to keep an innocent expression. “I’m not …”

“I saw the whole thing from the street, honey. I know you were pitching, not him.”

She flinched. “You saw?”

“Yeah, I did. Your shoving him around was quite a show.” He arched an eyebrow at her. “So, why the cover up?”

A deep sigh escaped before she answered. “Okay, so I couldn’t let him get grounded three days before the prom.”

“The prom, huh? What’s so special about a sixth-grade prom?”

“Candice Patterson.”

His eyes narrowed at the name. “Who?”

“Candice Patterson makes it special.” She heaved another sigh. “She’s the most popular girl in our grade and she said yes when Josh asked her to go with him.”

“Ah.” The deep voice above her was tinged with a mix of laughter and understanding. “I think I get it.”

“Yeah. It’s the first dance where he has a date.” Steve’s brow furrowed at her words, his mouth opening to argue, but she barreled on. “His first dance with a real date, Dad. The times we went together don’t count, because I’m just the best friend, not girlfriend material.” Her arms crossed over her chest. “He hasn’t talked about anything else all week. He’s been so excited and happy, I couldn’t let him miss it.”

“And you didn’t want to go?”

“Oh, yeah, I wanted to go. Dances are always a blast and … and I think Seth Akers was going to ask me to go with him.” She tilted her head up to look at the sky. “But I couldn’t live with myself if I took that away from Josh. Not when I know how much it means to him.”

“You’re willing to take his grounding so he can go to the dance with this Candice girl?”

“Yeah, I am. I threw the ball, so that really makes it at least half my fault, doesn’t it?” Brown eyes moved over to study him. “Remember when I was little and you were teaching me about the difference between right and wrong?”

“I sure do.”

“You told me that if it felt wrong, then it probably was wrong.” Her teeth bit on her lip and she cleared her throat. “Well, when I thought about him missing the dance, it felt wrong.”

“And you missing the dance feels right?”

“Kind of. I guess.” She didn’t give voice to the confusion tumbling in her chest, fighting down the overwhelming feeling that going to a dance with anyone other than him was definitely the opposite of right. “Josh is my best friend, Dad. If taking the blame for him gives him a chance like this one, then I’d do it a hundred times.”

“Really?” Steve smiled slightly, fighting to keep the knowing look from spreading across his features. “A hundred times?”

“Yep. In a heartbeat.”

“Well, all right, then.” Silence settled for a few minutes, until he reached up to take off his hat and run his fingers through his hair. “That window still needs to be replaced, Jen.”

“I know.” She bit her lip again, thinking of the money she’d painstakingly saved, dreaming of buying one of the awesome mountain bikes on display at the Outdoor Store. “I’ve been saving my allowance and leftover lunch money for over a year. Take that and I’ll make up the difference somehow.”

“Hmm.” His eyes widened. “What about that bike you wanted?”

“They’ll always make bikes, Dad.” Slender shoulders shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. “I’ll just start over.”

“And there’s always going to be other dances …”

“Not with Candice Patterson, there won’t be.” She interrupted. “Just take the money. It’s not that big of a deal. Besides, I might change my mind and want something else.”

He looked her over carefully. “Do you think he’ll pay you back?”

“He doesn’t have to. And I won’t ask him to, either.” There was a jingling sound as she shoved her hands in her pockets, making her change from lunch clink together. “So … grounded for three weeks, no dance and I pay for the window. Sound fair?”

“For something you really didn’t do? Sounds kind of rough to me.”

“It doesn’t matter if I did it or not. I’m owning up to it and that makes it my responsibility to fix it.” A small smile played across her lips. “Besides, if I’m not grounded, Aunt Karen is going to know something’s up.”

“True.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Tell you what. You give us the money you’ve got saved and I’ll make up the difference. Then, grounded for one week, but we’ll relax it a little bit.”

“Relax it? How?”

“No dance and no phone, but I don’t think there’d be a problem if Josh wanted to come over. You can’t leave the yard, though. Deal?”

“Deal.” With a bright grin, she threw her arms around his waist. “Thanks, Dad.”

“She’s thanking me for grounding her. Who knew?” He laughed, hugging her back. “And I won’t tell Josh’s parents, either. I’ll leave that between you guys.”

“Great.” She pulled away and began walking toward the house. “How about I go get that money before I start regretting this?”

“Sure thing.” He trailed behind her through the door. “Get washed up while you’re at it, I think dinner might be ready.”

*********************

Friday night

She propped her elbow on the desk, then rested her chin in her hand as she stared out the open window at the night sky. “Well, Josh … I hope it was fun.” Her gaze moved over the moon, picking out a few of the largest craters. “And I hope she was worth it.” With a sigh, she pushed herself out of the chair and moved toward the bed, working her hair into a loose ponytail before pulling back the covers and climbing in.

As she settled herself under the blankets, her eyes fell on the newly empty jar sitting on the dresser. She bit her lip, wishing for just a second that she could have that money back. With a shake of her head, she pushed back the regret, knowing that tonight probably meant more to Josh than a new bike would ever mean to her.

Just as she was reaching out to turn off the lamp, there was a sharp cracking noise against the metal framing of the window, the sound nearly sending her tumbling to the floor when she jumped in fright.

Fighting to catch her breath, she just sat there, waiting to see if the sound would come again. When it did, she pulled herself out from between the sheets and cautiously inched over to look out the window. For a moment, squinting into the darkness as her eyes tried to adjust, she couldn’t see anything. But then she heard it.

“Jen! Hey, Jenny! Over here.”

She turned her head, trying to find where the whisper was coming from, until she finally saw a shadow underneath one of the trees in the yard. “Yeah? Who’s there?”

“Who else would it be?” He stepped out into the moonlight, waving up at her. “Come on down.”

“Are you crazy? If they catch me out in the backyard with you when I’m supposed to be grounded …”

“Go on down there, honey.”

She whirled around, biting her lip when she saw her parents standing in her doorway. “Um … what?”

“Go on down.” Her mother smiled as she walked across the room. “He asked us first.”

“Jen!” He wasn’t even trying to be quiet now, openly yelling at her. “Jenny!”

“Seriously?” She leaned back toward the window. “Shut up before you wake up the neighbors!”

“If you’d get your butt down here, I wouldn’t have to yell.”

“Hang on a minute.” Her eyes wide, she turned back to her father. “What did he ask you?”

“It’s a surprise. Just go on down and find out.” Steve gave her a gentle push toward the door just as another yell came from the backyard. “Hurry up before he really does wake up old Mrs. Ruleman.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” She didn’t even try to hide her smile as she walked out the door and down the hall.

“Don’t stay out there too late, okay?”

“I won’t.” Jen turned back once, sending her mother a quick grin before dashing down the steps and out the back door, pausing only to slip on the pair of shoes she’d left in the back hallway. She stopped on the porch, blinking in the darkness as she tried to remember which tree he’d been next to.

“Are you just gonna stand there, or are you coming out?”

“What do you think? You got me down here, didn’t you?” The corners of her mouth twitched in a smile as she turned toward his voice. “I’m trying to figure out where you are.”

“I’m over here.” He laughed. “You know, you could always turn on the porch light.”

“Yeah, but what fun would that be?” Finally, her eyes adjusted in the sparse moonlight and she could see him leaning against the house a few yards away. “What are you doing out here?”

“Cute pajamas. Are the frog pants new?” He dodged her question expertly, his smile evident in his voice.

“Yeah, they are.” The moon came out from behind a cloud, allowing her to see his khaki pants and suit jacket. “Wow, you look really nice.”

“Thanks. I try.”

Blinking quickly, she got her mind back on track. “What are you doing out here, Josh?”

“I’m paying you back.”

“Paying me back?” Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “For what?”

“For tonight.” He pushed away from the brick wall and walked to her. “You took the blame for the window so I could go to the dance.”

“You don’t have to pay me back, Josh.” She shook her head. “I knew what it meant to you, so I made it happen. That’s what true friends do.”

“No, a true friend would have let me vent and gripe, sympathized that I couldn’t go and went to the dance without me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You didn’t only save me from getting grounded, you gave up something I know you really wanted so that I could go out with Candice.” His smile shone through the darkness. “That’s more than just a true friend, Jen.”

“I didn’t want to go to the dance that badly …”

“I’m not talking about the dance. I’m talking about your bike.” White teeth worked over his lip as he stared at her. “You’ve been saving your money for over a year, talking about it for nearly that long … but you gave it up for me.”

“You’re more important than any bike, Josh.”

“And you’re more important than a school dance, no matter who said they’d go with me.” His fingers combed quickly through his hair. “I should’ve been quicker to figure that out, Jenny. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I did what I thought I had to do.”

“But I still owe you.”

“No, you don’t.” Her arms crossed over her chest. “I wouldn’t have done it if it hadn’t been the right thing.”

“I don’t care. I’m still going to pay you back and I’m starting right now.”

“You are?” A dark eyebrow arched suspiciously. “How?”

“Come on.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the yard. “You had to miss the dance because of me, so I’m bringing the dance to you.”

“What?”

“Stay here.” Releasing her, he jogged back to the side of the house, taking off his jacket to reveal his white dress shirt before kneeling down and fiddling with something on the ground. Music started playing and she had to smile as he walked back to her. “I stole one of the tapes from the teacher’s lounge, so this is about as close as I can get it.” He looked around. “Well, minus the gym and decorations.”

“Josh …” She trailed off in a laugh. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“Yeah, I did.” His arms spread out in invitation. “Well? Are you gonna dance with me or not? I won’t bite, you know.”

“Yes, you will, but you’ve had your shots, so I’ll risk it.” Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, immediately finding the beat of the song and swaying with him. “Was it fun?”

“It was okay. I hung out with Seth and Mike for most of the time, so that was different.” He laughed. “If you’d been there, I would’ve danced more.”

“Really? What happened to …”

“She decided that she’d rather sit with her friends and brag about the New Kids concert tickets her mom was able to get.” She could feel him sigh. “When she told me to go get her another drink, I split.”

“I’m sorry, Josh.” Her arms squeezed around his neck in a comforting hug. “I wish she’d been what you wanted her to be.”

“Hey, it’s all right. You tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen.” He smiled at her. “She just proved me wrong.”

“Wrong about what?”

“She’s not another you. She doesn’t even come close to measuring up.” His arms tightened around her. “I don’t want to talk about her right now. Let’s just dance, okay?”

“Okay.” She nodded, smiling when he kissed the side of her head. The music changed and she had to laugh when he swung her around in time to the Culture Club song pouring over the backyard with the moonlight, completely oblivious to the watchful eyes of her parents, who were exchanging wide smiles on the other side of her bedroom window.

----------------------------------------

October, 1989

“Have a good day, Love.”

She looked up from her bowl of cereal as her father leaned down to give her a hug, swallowing quickly so that she could grin at him and kiss his cheek. “You too, Daddy.” Her head tilted as he stood, reaching for the lunchbox on the counter. “Which site are you working today?”

“The new hotel going in on Fourth.” He checked his watch. “And I’m going to be late if I don’t get going.”

“Jenny! Karen and Josh are here!” Her mother’s voice rang from the living room. “Hurry up or you’re going to be late!”

“Guess that makes two of us.” He cast a stern look at his daughter. “Behave yourself today.”

“I will.” She grinned at him again. “You too.”

He laughed and watched as she dumped the milk from her bowl into the sink and ducked into the bathroom, then turned to move to the door.

“I love you, Daddy.”

Stopping in the doorway, he jingled his keys as he looked at her standing there with her toothbrush in her mouth. “I love you too, kiddo.”

She watched him walk out and get into his car before her mother yelled again. “Jennifer!”

“Coming!” She finished up with her teeth, grabbed up her backpack and lunch, and ran to the front door, stopping only to give her mother a quick hug before hurrying out to the van, calling back over her shoulder. “Bye, Mom!”

*********************

Blue eyes moved restlessly around the room, finally settling on staring out the window at the dark sky, the worry rising in him once again. She’d promised to call and let him know what was going on as she’d packed up her stuff to leave class that afternoon. Her face had been puzzled, her confusion over why she was being picked up early from school obvious in her actions.

“It’s probably a dentist appointment or something. I just can’t remember it. I’ll call you when I get home.”

He could still hear the doubt in her voice as she zipped up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder.

But she hadn’t called and he couldn’t focus on the math book in front of him for more than a few seconds at a time, different scenarios flying through his mind every time he tried to work out the equations.

Surely she was okay. He would have heard if she wasn’t. Turning away from the window, he focused back on his math, determined to keep the panic at bay until he had finished the assigned work.

A little while later, he’d just finished up the fifth of the equations when he heard the phone ring, the sound pulling his attention away from his homework. His brow furrowed, his ears straining to hear the tone in his mother’s voice as she spoke.

“Josh!”

His eyes widened at her call and he got to his feet, moving quickly out the door and down the stairs. “Yeah, Mom?”

“Come here, son.”

“Sure.” He followed her voice into the kitchen, his wide eyes narrowing when he saw her posture. “What’s up?”

“Sit down.” She patted the chair next to her, a sad smile on her face. “We need to talk.”

“What’s going on?” Obediently, he sat, his eyes never leaving her face. “Who was on the phone?”

“That was Jenny’s grandmother. Josh … Mr. Lawson passed away today.”

He visibly jerked in shock. “What?”

“He was in an accident.” Karen took a deep breath, shaking her head. “At work. The doctors tried their best, but they just couldn’t save him.”

“Jenny …” The words refused to set in, his mind going in a million different directions. “How’s Jenny?”

“She’s upset right now. She’s sad and she’s hurting.”

“I need to go see her.” He stood from the chair. “Can we go, Mom? She’ll … she’ll need me.”

“I don’t know, Josh.” She looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s late. We should probably wait until tomorrow.”

“No.” Serious blue eyes met hers dead on. “Jen needs me now. If you’ll take me, I’ll stay over there tonight.”

“She might end up at her grandmother’s tonight.”

“Then I’ll go with her.” His voice was stubborn. “Mom, I know it’s dark, but she’s just around the block. Or just through the woods. I’ll walk to her if I have to.”

Mother and son stood there, measuring each other until she finally sighed. “Get some clothes together. I’ll call and make sure they’re still at home.” She watched as he practically ran for the door. “What are you going to do about school tomorrow?”

“If she’s not going, then I’ll stay with her.” A dark eyebrow rose when she opened her mouth to protest. “Mom, she’s my best friend. I’m not going to leave her alone right now.” He gave her a smile, then turned to rush out the door and back up the stairs, leaving her staring at his retreating form.

“You can’t tell him that his heart isn’t in the right place, Karen.” Roy spoke up from where he was leaning in the doorway to the kitchen. “At least he’s got his priorities straight.”

“I know. He makes more sense than most adults I know.” She shook her head as she reached for the phone again. “I swear, that boy is thirteen going on thirty.”

Fifteen minutes later, they were pulling up in the Lawson’s driveway. The car hadn’t even come to a complete stop when he opened the door and jumped out, backpack over his shoulder as he walked to the front door, then waited for her to join him. “I don’t want to be the one to knock, Mom.”

His eyes pled with her and she couldn’t help but smile. “It’s okay. I’ll do it.” She put her arm around him before reaching up to knock softly on the wood.

Not more than a minute later, the door was pulled open to reveal an older woman with curled white hair. “Karen. Joshua. Come in, come in.” She closed the door behind them. “Lisa is in the living room, Karen.”

“Hey, Grams.” He stopped to hug her on the way in, watching as his mother walked into the living room and sat beside Jen’s mother on the couch. Lisa looked as though she hadn’t slept in days, her eyes red-rimmed from the tears and her posture slumped in exhaustion. At the moment she was hugging Karen, her shoulders heaving with heartbroken sobs.

“I hear you argued your way over here, young man.” Grams’ voice drew his attention and he looked up to intercept the stern look she was giving him.

“I didn’t argue. She didn’t have to bring me.” He tilted his head as her eyes narrowed on him. “I could’ve walked. This way was just safer.”

The old woman gave a quiet laugh, patting his back. “That’s my boy.”

“Where is she, Grams?” His expression became questioning as he hoisted the backpack higher up on his shoulder. “Where’s Jenny?”

“She’s upstairs in her room.” Before the words were even out of her mouth, he was already moving, taking the stairs two and three at a time.

He blinked, his vision adjusting to the darkness as he walked down the dark hallway, his eyes narrowing when they focused on the thin strip of dim light coming from underneath her bedroom door. Pausing, he took a deep breath before knocking quietly and pushing the door open. “Jen?”

“Hey.” Her voice was watery as his head came through the doorway and she sniffled as she sat up on the bed. “Come on in, Josh.”

He stepped inside the room, dropping his backpack next to the door as his gaze moved over her. One of the bedside lamps was on, providing the only light in the room, illuminating the bed while keeping the corners in shadow. She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her full-sized bed, shivering despite her sweatshirt, jeans and socks. Her face was tear-stained, her posture defeated, her eyes red-rimmed … an exact replica of the picture Lisa had made sitting on the couch.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I just … I couldn’t …” She sniffled again, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging her arms around them.

“No. Don’t worry about that.” Without a second thought, he slipped off his shoes and got on the bed with her, pulling her to him in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Jen. So sorry.”

She swallowed hard as she looped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. “He’s gone, Josh.” A sob ripped from her throat and she gripped him tighter as the tears began to flow again. “My dad’s gone.”

“I know.” His arms tightened around her, his palms pressing into her quivering back as he hugged her to him. “I know, Jenny. And I’m so sorry.”

Neither said a word for a while. They just sat there, holding each other until the wave of crying was over and she was left sniffling in his arms. She lifted her head, wiping at her eyes. “I’m so tired.” A shaky yawn escaped. “I just want to sleep.”

“Go ahead. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I … I can’t.” She whispered. “I’m scared.”

“Scared?” He tilted his head, studying her. “Scared of what?”

“If … if I fall asleep … what if I forget him?” Her eyes welled up again, but only two tears escaped, one running down each cheek. “I don’t want to forget him, Josh.”

“You won’t forget him, Jenny.” His hands came up, his fingers brushing her hair away from the wet spots on her face. “I promise. You have so many memories of him that it would be impossible for you to forget.”

She leaned forward, her forehead resting on his shoulder as she took another shaky breath. “But what if …”

“If you feel like he’s starting to slip away, then come to me and we’ll talk about him.” He tightened his arms around her again, rocking back and forth to help her relax. “We’ll pull out the old photo albums and tell stories of everything that we did with him. You can tell me about things he did with you, things that only you know and maybe I can tell you some things you don’t know.”

“I know everything about Daddy. Everything he said, everything he did …” Her voice grew soft as she began to drift off. “He never kept anything from me.”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe he did. But maybe I know a thing or two that you don’t.” He spoke softly and continued to rock, knowing she wouldn’t be awake much longer. “There are so many things you can do to remember, Jen. Dreaming … dreaming is one of them. He’ll live forever in your dreams.”

Her breathing had grown deep, her arms loosening their hold on him, and he knew she’d fallen asleep. Twisting, he pulled her arms from around his neck, slowly laying her down so that she wouldn’t awaken. He backed away from her and off the bed, moving around to turn off the lamp, shrouding the room in darkness before settling himself back on the oversized comforter.

He heard her give a quiet whimper, turning on her side and curling into herself as she slept. Carefully, he moved so that he was right behind her, spooning her, his fingers lacing through hers as he tried to comfort her in the only way he knew how. She sobbed quietly, her body tensing against him, and he tightened his hold on her once again.

“It’s okay, Jenny. I’m here.”

The words were whispered to her, his fingers tightening on hers, and she sighed, relaxing back against him.

He blinked in the darkness, biting his lip as he tried to imagine being in her position. Just the thought made him choke up a little bit and he had to fight back his own tears. Shaking his head, he released her hand just long enough to pull the comforter around so that they were cocooned in its softness. Then he took her hand again, stretching up to kiss her cheek before settling down behind her, resting his head on her pillow.

“I’m trusting you to take care of her, Joshua. She’s the only Jenny I’m ever going to have.”

Mr. Lawson’s words rang through his head, a warning he’d received years ago, when she’d gotten hurt attempting a bike trick he’d dared her to do.

“She won’t get hurt again. I promise, Mr. Lawson. I won’t let anyone hurt her.”

As he lay there, listening to her shaky breathing as she slept, that promise took on an all new meaning. He bit his lip as she instinctively snuggled back into his chest, sighing softly as her breathing grew less shaky. His head tilted forward until his forehead rested against the soft hair on the back of her head.

“I’ll always be here, Jenny. No matter what.”