March, 1993

She groaned, running a hand roughly through her hair as she leaned forward to read the same paragraph over for what seemed to be the tenth time.  Or maybe it was the eleventh.

“Why won’t this stuff stick?  Seriously, how hard is it to explain the kinetic-molecular theory?”  Her eyes moved over the page once more and she let out a long sigh.  “Who am I kidding?  This may as well be in Latin.  God, I hate chemistry.”

Her elbow propped on the desk and her forehead fell into her hand, giving herself a minute to fight back the full blown panic that was building.  Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm down.  “It’s going to be okay.  It’s just one test.  If you fail it, you have a full grading period to make it up.  No biggie.  Just relax and . . .”

The phone rang next to her, bringing her out of her pep talk.  “So much for studying.”  Sighing again, she pressed the button on the handset and brought it to her ear.  “Hello.  You’ve reached the help desk.  Did you know that the kinetic-molecular theory states that a gas consists of molecules in constant, random motion?  This is just one of the many questions on my test tomorrow that I will undoubtedly get wrong.”  She took a deep breath.  “But enough about my problems.  How on Earth can I make your day better?”

“Whoa.”  The familiar laugh carried over the line, bringing a smile to her face instantly.  “Bad day, Boof?”

“Slightly.”  Her chin rested in her hand, her eyes moving over the book in front of her.  “I’ve had better, that’s for sure.”

“What’s going on?”

“Let’s just say chemistry sucks and leave it at that.”

“Ah.”  Understanding rang in his voice.  “Yeah, chemistry sucks.  Big test tomorrow?”

“Yep.”

“Are you ready for it?”

“Nope.  Not even close.”

“Should I let you go so you can study?”

“No, don’t go anywhere.  I think I’m just overly stressed this week.”  Her eyes dropped closed.  “I have this test tomorrow, an algebra test Wednesday, a term paper due on Thursday and a presentation for my speech class scheduled on Friday.”

“That’s . . . wow, Jen.  That’s a lot of stuff.”

“Yeah.”

“How’s it looking?”

“Well, the algebra is nothing.  Easy stuff.”

“Right.”

“And the paper and presentation are nearly finished.  The paper needs to be proof read and I need to time the speech, but that shouldn’t take more than fifteen minutes.”

“Okay, so you’re pretty much set except for the chemistry?”

“Yeah.  It’d be better if I didn’t have so much trouble with science, but there’s really nothing I can do about that.”

“Don’t stress over it so much and it’ll be easier.  Trust me.”

“Yeah, I know.”  She flipped the heavy book closed.  “Maybe I’ll just put the book under my pillow and hope to absorb it by osmosis.”

He laughed.  “Yeah, you could try that.  I wouldn’t count on it working, though.”

“Me, neither.”  Quietly, she got up from the desk chair and laid down on her bed, staring at the ceiling as she talked.  “So what’s up with you, Josh?  This isn’t your usual night to call.”

“No, I know.  I just . . . I guess I needed to vent and you were the only one I wanted to talk to.”

“Vent?  Is everything okay with the show?”

“Yeah, the show’s fine.”

“Awesome performance today, by the way.  Tell Blain that he’s more than welcome to call me up and sing me to sleep anytime.”

“I’ll definitely pass that along.”  His grin was obvious.  “How about that choreography?”

“The choreography?”  She blinked at the ceiling, trying to think of the right descriptive words.  “It was . . . it was . . .”

“Crazy.  And stupid.  I felt like an idiot up there, waving my arms around like a fool and the jumping and crap . . . it was awful.”

“But you did your job and you made it through it.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And the little girls ate it up.”

“Right.  That’s all that counts.”

His sarcastic response made her smile.  “Exactly.  You’re eye candy for the ’tweens.”  He groaned and she laughed.  “Seriously, Josh . . . it wasn’t all that bad.  Besides, you weren’t the only one up there.  Tony, Matt, Blain and Kevin had to do it, too.  With all of you together . . . the whole performance came out well.”

“Okay.”

“Do you feel better now?”

“About that, yeah.  Thanks.”

“Was there something else bothering you?”

“Well . . . yeah.  You just got me off track when you started talking about the show.”

“Oh, sorry.”  She settled her head further into her pillow.  “What’s wrong?  Vent away.”

He took a deep breath.  “Jennifer and I broke up.”

“Oh, man.  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  I wasn’t counting on it lasting too long, anyway.”

“What happened?”

“The same old, same old.”

Her eyes narrowed at the ceiling.  “You have a usual reason for breaking up?  Josh . . . that’s not normal.”

“For me it is.”  He sighed.  “I accidentally let it slip that you and I went to a few movies when I was at home last month . . .”

“And she got mad, right?”

“Right.  You’d think I was cheating on her or something.”

“Well, to her . . . it probably seemed that way.”

“How?”

“You went to a movie with another girl, Josh.  That almost automatically constitutes a cheating situation.”

“Not when it’s you, it shouldn’t.”

“Uh, yeah.  No exceptions to that rule, I’m afraid.”

“Why not?  You’re going to have to explain this one to me.”

She sighed.  “Welcome to this tour of the female mind.  Please remain seated, with the seatbelt tightly secured and keep all hands and arms inside the car at all times . . .”

“Okay.  I’m entering dangerous territory.  I get it.”  He let out a short laugh.  “Just get on with it.”

“Look . . . when a girl is dating a guy, she wants to be the primary girl in his life.  Well, after his mother and sisters or whatever.  It’s common nature.  She focuses on you.  You focus on her.  Nobody else enters the picture.  Your basketball buddies or other guy friends are okay in limited quantities and time increments, but absolutely no outside female interference is allowed.  End of story.”

“But she’d met you and she knew . . .”

“Yeah, we met last year.  She wasn’t too keen on me, either.  And that was before you were dating.”  Her fingers picked at the comforter as she tried not to laugh out loud.  “I seriously think she was jealous that we had the same name.”

“That’s stupid, you know.”

“Uh huh.  But girls and jealousy are something even I’m not brave enough to try to explain.”  She sighed.  “We get jealous easily and quickly.  And when we think another girl is zeroing in on our territory . . . well, it can get vicious.  But ask us why . . . and we can’t tell you.  It’s nothing that can be explained without getting into all those different brain chemicals and attitudes and crap.  Probably something you should take up with a psychologist.”

“And you’re not a psychologist.”

“Nope.”

“I still don’t get it.  She knew about you going in . . .”

“Josh, she probably didn’t know exactly what she was getting herself into.”

“How could she not have known?  Like I said before . . . she’d met you.”

“We were around each other for a few days.  There’s no way she could’ve gotten the entire picture while I was down there for your birthday.”

“Okay . . . okay, yeah.  I can see that.”  He sighed.  “But . . .”

“Did you break up with her, or did she break up with you?”

“She dumped me.  Why?”

“What exactly happened, Josh?  What were her reasons when she broke up with you?  Start with the little stuff and work your way up.”

“Well, she was upset about something with her name . . . something about how I have a nickname for you, but not her.”

“She wanted the pet names thing.”

“I guess.  Is that an issue?”

“To her, yes.  What next?”

“Apparently it’s a crime for me to have pictures of the two of us around.”

“Pictures of you and her?”

“No . . . of me and you.”

“Do you have any pictures of you and her?”

“Nope.  She’d never mentioned it and I never thought of it.”

“Hey, you’re a guy, so she shouldn’t really fault you for that . . .”

“Then why did she?”

“Because you made the effort to have pictures of me, but didn’t really care when it came to having any of her.”  She shook her head and closed her eyes.  “You put her lower on your list of priorities whether you realized it or not.”

“I . . . I never thought of it that way.”  He sighed.  “I just figured that I had her right in front of me, but you weren’t here . . . so I needed more reminders of you than of her.”

“And that would be another strike against you.  Girlfriends don’t want their guys to have reminders of other girls.  If she’s not family, you shouldn’t be thinking about her.”

“You’re almost family . . .”

“No, I’m not.  No blood relation, no dice.”

“Okay, I’ll buy that.”

“Anything else?”

“She had issues with my calling you, hanging out with you while I’m at home . . .”

“It should be obvious why those are problem areas.  Josh, you can’t expect to convince one girl that you care for her and only for her if you’re spending time on the phone and going out to movies with another.  Even though I’m just a friend . . . that doesn’t fly.”

“You’re more than just a friend.  You’re my best friend.”

“But you have to consider that most guys have another guy as their best friend.  There’s nothing there for a girlfriend to feel insecure about, because the testosterone pretty much overrides everything.”

There was a brief pause before his incredulous voice came through.  “You’re joking, right?”

“I’m dead serious.  With your guy buddies, you talk sports, tell nasty jokes, do handshakes . . . whatever.  It doesn’t get overly personal.”  She twisted a piece of hair around her index finger.  “With you and me . . . it’s deeper than that.  We understand each other.  How would you feel if you were dating a girl whose best friend was a guy who, more than likely, knew more about her than you could ever hope to?”

“That’s not a great example, Jen.”  He laughed softly.  “Because I know how it feels to have a friendship like that.  You know more about me than anyone else and you still take me as is.  I know without a doubt that if I need you, you’ll be there in a snap.  There’s nobody else who can read me the way you do, because you know exactly what to look for.”  Silence carried over the line as he sorted through his thoughts.  “I’ve had plenty of guy friends over the years and not one of them could come anywhere close to doing that.  In all honesty, I think everybody should have a chance to have a relationship like ours, just so they can see what it’s all about.”

“But not everyone has had that kind of friendship.  They don’t know what it’s like to have another person out there who knows every little thing about you, and can read you like a book.”  The hair unwound from her finger, the strands taking on a gently curled look.  “We know each other backwards and forwards.  But that kind of relationship . . . that’s what you’re supposed to want from someone you’re dating, right?” 

“Well . . . when you put it that way, I guess so.”  His tone was unsure.  “But Jen . . . I don’t . . .”

“It’s simple, really.  If you meet someone who you think could be, you know, the one . . . just let me know and we’ll handle it.”

“Now hang on a second.”  Suddenly his voice was sharp, alert.  “It sounds like you’re telling me that you’d . . . you wouldn’t back out on me just because I got into a serious relationship, would you?”

“Not for just a serious relationship, no.  But . . . we’re growing up, Josh.  Someday you’re going to find a woman and fall head over heels in love with her . . . and she’s not going to appreciate how close we are.”  She swallowed hard.  “One day, you’ll have to leave this – us – behind so that you can have a future with her.  We may as well prepare ourselves for it now so that we don’t end up seriously hurt when that time comes.”

“Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun just a little bit here?  I mean . . . I’ve tried dating a few girls and it hasn’t worked out.  So what?”

“I just . . .”

“We’re sixteen.  I highly doubt that either of us will be looking to get married in the next few years.”

“You’re right, but I still think . . .”

“Let’s forget about that whole mess for right now.  It’s a can of worms that shouldn’t even be picked up yet.”  He sighed.  “I think what I’m trying to say here is that I don’t want to date anyone who can’t accept that you – a girl – are my best friend.”

“Even if you’re up front about it, it’s going to be hard for you to find anyone that’ll take you seriously, Josh.”

“Then I won’t date.”  He paused as she laughed.  “I’m serious here.  I want to be able to go grab a bite with you every now and then, to go out and do things together.  I like being around you, doing things with you, and I’m not going to stop just because Potential Girlfriend Number Seven thinks I’m too close to you.”

“And what if she’s right?  What if we are too close?”

“I don’t think we are.”  He fell silent for a few seconds.  “I’m not going to trade you in, Jenny.  I couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t get rid of me that easily and you know it.”  She laughed.  “All I want to do is let you know that if you ever meet that girl . . . the one you think could be your meant to be . . . then you just need to let me know and I’ll back away or whatever and it’ll be fine.”

“Uh huh.”  His disbelieving tone spoke volumes.  “Yeah, I can just see that.”

“Okay, so maybe it won’t be fine . . . but I’ll deal.  Really.”

“Right.  Whatever you say.”  A mental image of him shaking his head at her crossed her mind.  “Why is it that I’m the only one with this problem?  You’ve never said anything about it.”

“Probably because I haven’t found anybody worth the effort.”  She sighed.  “Nobody local, anyway.”

“You know, Tony asks about you quite a bit.  I keep telling him he should call you.”

“He did.  A few months back.  He still does, every now and again.”

“And?”

“At first it was a little weird.  A thousand miles makes a big difference, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”  He sighed and she could picture him running his fingers through his hair.  “Do you think it’ll work out for you?”

“No.  Tony’s a good friend, but there’s nothing else to build on.”  A grin formed on her lips.  “Besides, long distance relationships aren’t exactly my thing.”

“Okay.  But don’t count it out . . . and you never know when somebody new will come around.”

“I know.”

“And remember that I have to approve.”

“Yeah, right.”  The laugh that followed was loaded with sarcasm.  “Like you let me approve who you date.”

“Hey, I got rid of Alex, didn’t I?”

“That was because she called and threatened me with bodily injury if I ever spoke to you again.”

“She was kind of . . . odd, wasn’t she?”

“Odd?”  Her voice was incredulous.  “Try nutso.  A few fries short of a Happy Meal.  Forget the light being on, there wasn’t even a switch installed.  Living proof that God has a serious sense of humor.”

“Okay, okay.  She was a whack job.” 

“She wanted me to send her a pair of your underwear.  Like I’d have them.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“Do I want to know what you did?”

“Probably not, but I’ll tell you anyway.”  She bit her lip, trying not to laugh.  “I took a pair of Tyler’s old Muppet Babies underwear and mailed them with a note telling her to enjoy.”

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Nope.  I’m totally serious.”  Her laugh carried over the line.  “She probably has them framed or mounted somewhere.  I wish I could’ve seen her face when she opened that bubble mailer.  Talk about priceless.”

“Oh, God.”  He groaned, then laughed right along with her.  “Boof . . . you’re horrible.”

“Yeah, I know.  You have to love me, though.”

“I guess.  It’s what makes you who you are.”  His grin showed in his voice.  “You’re a handful and you know it.”

“Yep.  I sure am.”

There was silence for a few moments, then he laughed again.  “What if God really does have a sense of humor and we end up together?  That’d be freakin’ hilarious.”

She blinked, thinking over his words, then arched an eyebrow at the ceiling.  “Hey . . . it wouldn’t be all that bad, would it?”

He fell silent . . . and stayed quiet for several seconds, causing her mind to run wild with all sorts of things that he could be thinking.

God, I’m not totally horrible, am I?  If he’s having to think this hard about it . . . 

“No . . . no, I don’t think that’d be too bad at all.”

She let out a quiet sigh of relief.  “Really?”

“Yeah . . . you’re an awesome girl, Jen.  Whoever catches you is going to be extremely lucky.”

“Good answer.”

“Did I score any points with that one?”

Her grin reappeared.  “Yeah . . . I’ll give you a few points for that.”

--------------------------------------------------

November, 1993

The car stopped in the driveway and her eyes widened when she saw the bodies flying across the front yard, each desperate to get their hands on the ball sailing through the air.

“They started the game early this year.”  Lisa laughed from the driver’s seat as the wrestling match on the lawn grew by the second.

“Yeah, they did.”  Jen watched the melee for a few minutes before turning large eyes to her mother.  “Maybe this means they won’t ask me to . . .”

“Hey!  Jen’s here!”  Tyler had pulled himself from the tangle of limbs and was pointing toward the car.  “Now we can have even teams!”

“. . . play.”  She finished with a groan, sinking down into her seat.

“You don’t want to play?”  The older woman waved back at the boy on the lawn, her surprise evident in her voice.  “The football game has always been your favorite part of Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”  A sigh escaped.  “I just get tired of them acting like I’m going to break.”

“Well, honey . . . you’re a girl.  The Chasez boys know better than to hit a fragile female with a full-out tackle.  Karen and the rest of their mothers would be out for blood.”  She grinned as Karen waved from the side yard, camera dangling around her neck.  “See?  She’s even standing guard.”  A short laugh echoed in the small space.  “Not to mention that Joshua would kill anybody who put a scratch on you.”

“But that’s the whole point of football.  To take out the guy who’s trying to get the ball around you.”  Brown eyes rolled in frustration.  “They don’t even let me touch the ground.  What kind of tackle is it if you’re just gonna maneuver it so that you cushion the fall for your target?”

“Like I said . . .”

“I know, I know.  The Chasez boys know better.”  She ran her fingers through her hair, sighing again.  “But I won’t break, so there’s really no reason to worry all that much about it.  I’ve got more fight in me than half those guys out there have in their little finger.”

“And they know it.  But consider this . . .”  Lisa turned to face her, a serious look on her features.  “Those boys out there know you.  They’ve known you since you were little.  And they’ve always treated you like a sister, whether it’s a younger one or an older one.  Did you ever think that maybe they’re easy on you because you’re important to them?”

“I . . .”  The idea struck her speechless.  “No.  I hadn’t thought of it that way.  I mean, I knew Josh cared, but . . .”

“Josh is one of their own.  You’re important to him, so you’re important to them.  Either by association, or personally.  You know them all pretty well, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah.  We’ve been spending Thanksgiving with them ever since . . .”  Ever since Dad died.  She almost let the words slip, but caught them just in time, knowing that the holidays would always be the time when they missed him most.  Clearing her throat quietly, she redirected her statement.  “For what?  Four years?  Something like that.  We’ve always gotten together for Josh, Heather and Tyler’s birthdays.  And they come out for summers and stuff.”

“Right.  So you know them . . . and they know you.”

“Okay.  So what?”

“Honey . . . those boys range from Jake at nine all the way up to Steven at twenty-two.”

“Uh huh.”  Jen was becoming aware of the odd looks they were getting from the guys on the front lawn and she grinned through the window, waving quickly, generating a wave of ‘come on’ gestures.  “And your point is?”

“Sometimes, I seriously doubt that you’re my daughter.”  She shook her head in exasperation.  “Jen, you’re smart.  Figure it out.”  At the girl’s puzzled look, she groaned.  “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Well, apparently not.”  Slender shoulders shrugged.  “What’s there to get?”

“Open your eyes sweetheart.  You’re seventeen.  You’re attractive.  You’re smart.  You’re comfortable with them.  They know that you’re all bark and no bite, unless it’s over something you care about.  Plus, you’re fun to have around.”  She gestured to the group of guys horsing around on the grass.  “There’s nine of them . . . and chances are, at least five are more interested in something other than football when you’re out there.”

“Five of them?”  A surprised laugh escaped.  “Are you out of your mind?  No way.”

“Pay close enough attention and you’ll notice it.  I’ll bet it’s not so much that they want to win, but that they’re trying to impress you and keep you from getting hurt at the same time.  What girl wouldn’t want a guy who’d put her well-being before his own . . . and in a football game, of all things?”

“Hey Jen!  Come on!”

The yell broke through their conversation.  “You’d better get out there before they rush the car.  And don’t complain that they’re gentle with you.  It just shows they care.”

Jen was still shaking her head as she opened the door and stepped out, quickly pulling her hair back into a ponytail.  “You’re crazy, Mom.”

“Sure I am, but at least I know what I’m talking about.”  She laughed, heading over to where Karen was standing.  “Just remember what I said, Jen.”  Lisa turned and walked away, smiling when she could still hear her daughter’s grumbling behind her.  She reached the side of the house and leaned against the brick beside Karen, her smile becoming knowing when she turned around to see Jen being slung over nineteen-year-old Aaron’s shoulder, a broad grin lighting his features as she screamed in surprise.

Yep.  There’s number one. 

He walked across the yard, two more boys following closely behind him, tugging at her hair, trying to tickle her and smiling as she laughed.

Two and three. 

Tyler began racing after the group and smiling eyes moved over to the other team, finding eighteen-year-old Ben watching after them intently.

Four. 

Then her gaze moved further to the left, landing on a smiling JC, whose eyes were locked on Jen as his cousin carried her over to be on the other team.

And there would be number five.  Whether he knows it or not. 

*************************

“Maybe we should change your position.”

Her head jerked up, meeting Aaron’s eyes across the huddle as she tried to catch her breath.  “You think?”

“Yeah.  He knows every move you’re getting ready to make.”

“It’s that psycho connection, isn’t it?”  Tyler grinned next to her, nudging her shoulder with his.

“That’s psychic connection, Ty.  Not psycho.”  On her other side, fourteen-year-old Mike snickered, shaking his head.

“Actually, I think he had it right the first time.”  She laughed, draping her arms over the shoulders of the guys on either side of her.  “We probably hit the point of psycho a long time ago.”  Taking a deep breath, her attention turned back to Aaron.  “Anyway, it won’t do any good to change my position.  If I change, he’ll change and you know it.”

“So what do we do?”

“Well . . .”  Her voice trailed off, her eyes darting over to the other huddle, only to find JC looking in their direction.  “He’s trying to figure out what we’re doing.”  She moved her arms, looking down as she talked quietly, trying to throw him off.  “How about we try faking it?”

“Faking it?”  Sixteen-year-old Shane furrowed his brow, giving her a quizzical look.

“Yeah.”  Her hands worked at the sleeves of the shirt she’d tied around her waist, the green and blue checkered fabric finally coming loose.  “He knows that I like to fake left when I’m the receiver, so he’ll automatically want to go to my right.  If I keep going left, it’ll knock him off balance and he’ll have to recover.”  She shrugged into the shirt, pulling it over her loose fitting tee shirt, glad for the warmth it provided in the cool breeze.  “Get me the ball and we score.”

Aaron arched an eyebrow at her.  “You sure you can do that?”

“It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?”  When they just stared back at her, not saying anything, she sighed, rolling the sleeves of her overshirt up to her elbows.  “Come on.  I’m pretty fast for a girl.  I could beat any of you in a fifty yard dash any day.”  Her gaze moved around the huddle.  “Let’s do it.” 

“I don’t know . . .”  Heads began shaking around the circle.

“Hey.  This isn’t cool, guys.”  Her eyes narrowed on each of them.  “If we’re gonna play, then let’s play.  I won’t break.  I promise.”  She grinned.  “Besides, look who’s covering me.  If I get hurt, he can’t blame anybody but himself.”  Her hand reached out into the center of the group.  “All right?”

“Yeah.”  Tyler immediately reached in, putting his hand over hers.  He looked up, taking in the amazed looks of his team mates.  “What?  She’s right.  Josh won’t hurt her.”   

“Good point.”  Mike nodded, adding his hand to the mix.  “I say we do it.”

Shane covered the pile of hands with his own.  “Yeah.  I’m in.” 

All heads turned to Aaron, who placed his hand on the top, still appearing wary.  “All right.  Just . . .”  His eyes moved over her, not even bothering to try hiding his concern.  “Just be careful, okay?”

She grinned, nodding quickly.  “I will be.”

The huddle broke apart and they lined back up, facing the other team.

“Took you long enough.”

She looked up, smiling at the teasing look in JC’s eyes.  “Well, you know . . . talking strategy and all.”

“Uh huh.”

They crouched down, waiting for Aaron’s signal that the ball was in play, and she made sure to position herself as she would if she were running her regular receiver’s route, fighting back a smile when JC shifted slightly to his left, anticipating her usual pattern.

“Hike!”

She shot forward, focused on positioning herself to receive the ball, not even batting an eyelash as she whipped herself around and to the left, taking the opposite direction of what she usually ran.  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see JC trying to correct his mistaken block, tripping over his own feet and costing himself several precious steps.

Her upper body turned and she looked toward the sky, immediately finding the football as it sailed overhead.  Reaching up, she snatched it in mid-stride, bringing it down to cradle the leather protectively against her body as she barreled on, all too aware of the pounding feet scrambling after her.

Just as she was crossing between the trees that served as the entrance to their end zone, two arms wrapped around her waist and tugged, sending her careening off balance.  Since she’d already scored the desired points, she released the ball, letting it bounce harmlessly to the grass as the momentum of the grab brought them tumbling over and to the side.

JC tried to halt the movement, twisting around so that she’d land on top of him as he always did, but rather than just hit the ground, they rolled down the slope of the side yard, coming to a stop inside the huge pile of leaves his father had raked the day before.

“Oof!”  The air rushed from her lungs when he landed on top of her, his head pressing squarely on her chest, his body crushing her into the ground as the leaves settled back down over them, burying them underneath a thick colorful blanket. 

For a moment, it was just leaves around him, crunching under his knees as he realized that she was pinned underneath him, her chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, her heartbeat thundering beneath his ear. 

He didn’t even consider the softness pillowing his cheek, just laid there for a second to regain his bearings.

She tried to sit up but couldn’t and settled for raising her head, her shoulders barely leaving the ground when she felt his hair on her chin.  “God, that hurt.”

The words came from just above his ear and he could feel her jaw moving against the top of his head before she let herself fall back to lay flat on the ground, her voice vibrating in her chest below his cheek.  His eyes widened as it sank in exactly where his head was laying . . . and when he realized what he was using as a pillow, he stiffened, raising his head immediately.

“Hey . . .”

Her voice was soft as she shifted a little, rising up just enough that she was pressing against him.  With his sense of sight being limited by the darkness of their cover, his sense of touch was amplified, suddenly making him fully aware of every inch of her that was between him and the ground.  His eyes closed, his teenage male mind instantly bringing up an image of her in her usual loose clothing, mentally tightening the material until it resembled the curves he could now feel.  Long legs, rounded hips, flat stomach . . .

Whoa. 

He forced his eyes open, focusing on one small beam of light that pierced the darkness, illuminating her lips.  They were slightly upturned, as if she was trying not to smile, and full . . . and just a few inches away from him.

“Josh?”

His eyes stayed glued to her lips, studying the way they moved as she said his name, and he suddenly found himself considering how short of a distance those few inches really were.  All he had to do was move forward a little bit . . . let his head fall just a little and . . .

What if I kissed her? 

The thought was unexpected, shocking . . . and surprisingly appealing.  For just a second, he let his imagination run wild, scenarios of what it would be like, how it would feel flying through his mind.  He knew her lips would be soft . . . they’d always looked soft, had felt soft against his cheek, so he could just imagine how they’d actually feel against his own . . .

Are you crazy?  This is Jen, man.  Boof.  Your best friend.  You can’t kiss her!  What are you thinking? 

Out of nowhere, a little voice began screaming in the back of his brain, warning him of the consequences if he went through with what his instincts were telling him to do.

Yeah, it’s Jen.  And I want to kiss her.  What’s wrong with that? 

He blinked, disturbed by the internal argument, his attention still focused on her lips despite the conflict.

You want to kiss her?  When did that happen? 

I . . . I don’t know.  Maybe I’ve always wanted to kiss her.

That thought shook him a little, and he was slightly relieved when the negative voice fired right back.

No, you haven’t always wanted it.  There’s no way. 

But then those pesky instincts kept right on badgering. 

But . . . but I want to! 

No.  You can’t kiss her.  What’s she going to think if you kiss her right now?  Think, man! 

But . . . 

What’ll she do to you if you make a move on her right now? 

There was an internal sigh.

Knowing Boof . . . 

He groaned softly, his eyelids sliding closed as he gave up the fight with a whisper.  “She’d punch my lights out.”

“What?”  Her voice was worried and she lifted her hands, bringing them up to his shoulders so that she could give him a gentle shake.  “Josh?  Are you okay?”

His eyes popped open once again as she spoke, the sound penetrating through and bringing him back to his senses.  “Uh . . . y-yeah.”  He cleared his throat, forcing the unusual thoughts out of his mind.  “Yeah, I’m okay.  You?”

“I’m good.”  Her voice was laced with first relief, then laughter.  “Well?”

He blinked at her expectant tone.  “What?”

“This is cozy and all, but I’m kind of pinned here.”

“Uh huh.”  Even as the sound was leaving his mouth, his body refused to react, perfectly content in its present position.

“Josh.  I can’t breathe with you crushing me.”

“Oh . . . sorry.”  Cringing at the reluctance he could hear in his own voice, his hands moved through the leaves, searching for the ground so that he could push himself up.  Instead, his fingers brushed bare skin, her shirts having ridden up on their journey down the hill.  He froze, his fingertips not moving from her stomach, even more images leaping through his imagination.

“Yeah, that would be me.”  She took a deep breath and the smooth flesh moved beneath his touch, making her laugh.  “Okay, that tickles.” 

He remained quiet, hearing her but not comprehending a thing she said, completely focused on this new discovery.  Absently, his thumbs brushed back and forth over the baby soft skin just above the waistband of her jeans as his eyes trained on her lips once more.

Come on, man.  Just go for it. 

Don’t.  You’re not ready to go there, and neither is she. 

“Josh.”

“Hmmm?”  His voice was distracted as it carried through the darkness.

“Did you hit your head or something?”  Her fingers snapped next to his ear.  “Josh.”

He shook his head quickly, finally coming back to reality.  “What?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.  I’m fine.”

“Okayyy . . .”  She trailed off uncertainly.  “Well?”

There was that expectant tone again.  “What?”

“Are we going to get out of these leaves, or are you going to cop a feel while we’re under here?”  The grin rang clearly in her voice, her joking tone lowering to a dramatic whisper as she tightened her fingers on his shoulders, squeezing him through his sweatshirt.  “I won’t tell if you won’t.”  She laughed immediately after, making it obvious that she was nowhere near serious, but that didn’t soften the impact of her words.

And once again, he found himself considering something he’d never thought possible.

Go ahead.  Do it.  The worst she can do is hit you.  Or laugh at you.  Nobody’s going to see, anyway, so you can always . . . 

The voice faded away gradually, cheering him on as it went, and his fingers flexed against her instinctively.  Taking a deep breath, his eyes focused on her lips through the darkness and he felt himself moving down, down, down, until he was only a few inches away.  The sound of her breathing was so close, he could almost feel each exhalation against his lips.  He swallowed hard, closed his eyes and . . .

“He’d better not cop a feel under there.  Do you hear me, young man?”  Karen’s voice rang out loudly from somewhere close by their leafy prison, followed almost immediately by an explosive round of laughter from the direction of the front yard.

His head dropped onto her shoulder, completely missing the target he’d been aiming for just seconds before.  “Yeah, Mom.  I hear you.”  He groaned, feeling the blush spread up his neck, over his cheeks and all the way to the tips of his ears before speaking in a mortified whisper.  “She just had to yell it, didn’t she?”

“Oh, you know you want the guys out there to think that you might’ve gotten at least a little bit lucky.”  She was laughing full out now, her hands pushing gently against his shoulders.  “Come on, stud.  Let me up.”

The humor of the situation set in, and he began laughing along with her, letting his embarrassment melt away, taking the blush right along with it.  He kissed her on the cheek and let his hands release her to finally find the ground, then backed out of the leaves to sit beside the pile, reaching out to grab her legs and pull her out after him.

As he dragged her, she could feel her shirts moving up even further, her fingers immediately grabbing the hem of her tee shirt and yanking it down before her stomach was exposed to the entire Chasez clan.  The sun shone brightly and she blinked for a minute, her eyes adjusting to the light.

Karen was standing a few feet away with her camera, taking shot after shot, but neither of them paid her any attention, still laughing as they tried to dust off their clothing. 

Jen sat up with a grin, laughing even harder as she reached up to brush the leaves from his hair.  “You’re a mess.”

“Look who’s talking.”  A dark eyebrow arched as he raised his hand, pulling a twig from behind her ear.  “You look like you went three rounds with a leaf blower and lost.”

Her hair had come out of its ponytail and was hanging around her shoulders, leaves sticking out all over the place and making her neck itch.  His fingers combed through the dark strands, raking out the bits of leaves and twigs that were tangled there.  While he was working, his eyes focused on the shirt she was wearing and he couldn’t help but smile.  “I can’t believe you still wear that shirt.”

“Of course I still wear it.  It reminds me of you.”  She shrugged as her own smile appeared.  “Like you said . . . it’s like having a hug from you all the time.” 

“That’s only supposed to apply when I’m gone, Boof.  If you want a hug, all you have to do is ask.”  Without hesitation, he hauled her over and into his arms, hugging her soundly and trying to ignore the feel of the soft curves that he’d never paid attention to before.

When he pulled away, he felt her fingers brushing a smudge of dirt away from his cheek and he saw that she was grinning brightly . . . with a thin strip of red liquid trailing down the left side of her face.  His brow furrowed.  “Oh, man . . . I’m sorry.”

Her expression became confused.  “For what?”

His thumb brushed over the area next to her eye, uncovering the small scrape on her forehead before turning his hand to show her the blood.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”  She touched the spot gently.  “It’s just a scratch.  Nothing to worry about.”

“Maybe we should go inside and get you fixed up.”

“Josh.  It’s fine.”

His eyes moved over her from head to toe, checking her over to see if she was hiding anything else.  “I just . . .”

“Hey.”  Her hand came up to squeeze his shoulder.  “You can’t protect me from everything, you know.”   

He looked over her face again, taking in her small grin before letting his eyes rest on the scratch marring her otherwise smooth forehead.  She was smiling, in one piece, clearly not seriously hurt . . . but despite all that, he felt a pang of guilt for having allowed such a little thing to happen.

And you wanted to kiss her.  You think a little scratch is bad?  How badly would that have hurt her?  You idiot. 

Blinking against the voice in his mind, he shook his head slightly before returning her smile.  “Maybe not . . . but you can’t keep me from trying.”

“Okay, so you have a point.”  Her eyes narrowed.  “But don’t stress over it too much, okay?  I’m a big girl now and I can take care of myself.”  She smiled at him, then pushed against his shoulders until she was on her feet, holding a hand out to help him up.  “How about we go finish up the game?  I do believe my team was winning.”

He reached out and grasped her hand, pulling himself up with a grin.  “Yeah, you were winning.  But that’s probably gonna change, you know.”

“We’ll just see about that.  Come on.”  She took off running back to the front yard and toward her waiting team, leaving him behind to watch her.