Justin was gone a good 45 minutes.  It was the longest 45 minutes of Cassidy’s life.  She was just about to call to make sure everything was okay, when she saw his car pull in, on the closed circuit security channel on the TV. 

She didn’t even try to pretend that she hadn’t been waiting.  She rushed to the front door and waited outside as he pulled up.

When he stepped out, he looked completely aggravated.  Grimacing, she met him half way.  “It didn’t go well?” 

The look he shot her told her plenty.  “He is the most annoying drunk I think I’ve ever encountered, and I’ve encountered quite a few.” 

“Sorry.”

He threw an arm over her shoulders as she turned with him and they walked up towards the house.  “I almost dropped his ass off in the middle of fucking Sunset Boulevard, but out of respect for you, I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, as they stepped inside her home, one at a time.  She went through first and he shut the door behind them and locked it.  Then he grabbed her and pulled her back around and up against his chest.

Her head spun accordingly and she knew she was smiling. 

The tip of his finger dropped to her temple before trailing softly down the side of her face.  “Is Cody asleep?” he asked softly.

She nodded, almost too caught up in his gentle touch to answer.  “For about ten minutes now.  It was a fight, but he finally conked out.”

He grinned, wide and happy.   “So I get you all to myself?” His voice was soft, but in the deepest and sexiest way.  More and more Cassidy was learning that what she felt was something so much more than just sex, and as much as it scared her, she had no desire to push it away.   It felt too damn good to try and stop whatever was happening between them.

“Definitely.”  She reached up that slight distance for a kiss, one that she felt like she’d been waiting for forever.  And in an instant flash she realized just how hard and how fast she was falling for him.

She wasn’t sure how it could have hit her so quickly, but it had.  And the more she thought about it, the more desperately she wanted him.

Her hands found his chest as the kiss she’d started grew hungrier and deeper.  He touched her waist, his fingers slipping underneath the hem of her top, seeking out her bare skin.  His other hand braced her head, as her neck tilted even farther back and her mouth was completely his for the taking.

He was taking with no problem and she was giving with her everything.

The hand he’d had at her back smoothed down past her hip and to her thigh, where he gently lifted her leg, letting it curl up against him.  Her touch slipped up his neck, to his slightly stubbled jaw, where she reveled in the feel of his rough, completely male skin beneath her fingers.

She’d thought she’d wanted him bad the night before, but it didn’t even compare to what she was feeling now.  Maybe it was because the recent memories reminded her so well of how good he made her feel.  Or maybe it was because she felt something more that she wasn’t trying to deny herself this time.

Either way, it was only minutes later that he was leading her up the stairs without as much as one word, and she was following without any argument.

She didn’t strip out of her clothes the minute they’d set foot in the room.  She fell with him onto the bed and danced the slow dance of making love.  She let the term fill her mind, because in her heart the feeling consumed her.  He took his time—undressing her slowly and kissing her everywhere.  There was no begging, no pleading, no rushing.  No words, just breaths and quiet moans.

When they finally joined, she closed her eyes, letting her body feel every sense of him.  Not just in the physical sense, but emotionally as well.  She listened to his grunts, his groans, his heavy breaths.   She felt the sheen to his taught skin, thanks to the warmth they were creating, as she smoothed her palms up his chest, his neck and around to his back.  He felt strong and sturdy and secure—and she realized it was something she’d never truly felt with a man. 

And just as hit—her entire body tensing as she held onto him so tight, waves of ecstasy crashing in, over and over again—she knew that she was a total goner, and that she planned on doing nothing to stop it.

He came with her, breathing heavy as he murmured how good it felt—how she felt.  She couldn’t speak.  She couldn’t move, other than to accept the last of his slow, sputtering thrusts.  All she could do was think about how amazing he felt inside of her and how much she didn’t want the feeling to end.

She still hadn’t spoken a word as he kissed her cheek and collapsed beside her, letting one of his arms drape over her stomach.  With her eyes closed, she took in long, deep breaths.  She was completely overwhelmed.

“That was amazing,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of her head. 

In her mind she agreed, but she didn’t utter one word.  He was still breathing heavy and she liked listening to the quiet inhales and exhales he took.  She liked everything about him—the way he looked, the way he felt, the way he touched, the way he talked, the way he treated Cody.  It was an endless list.

“Everything okay?” he asked, just as she was turning on her side, to meet him face to face.

“Justin—”   Her eyes were open now and staring right into his with a seriousness she could feel in her expression.  “I’m falling for you—hard.”

His smile should have told her everything, as it was gigantic and happy and proud.  He brought a hand up, brushing her mess of hair out of her face, letting the back of his fingers dance lightly against her flesh.  “Don’t be afraid, okay?”  He said it as if he had read every single thought in her mind.  “I know we’re both fresh out of really bad relationships, but we’ll take it slow.  One day at a time.   Okay?”

She nodded, not exactly sure if that meant he was feeling the same, but wanting to hope that it did. 

He was still grinning as his touch smoothed up, over her forehead.  “I’m not a scary guy.  Really, I’m not.  I promise.”

With a quiet smirk, she let a touch of a grin play at her lips.

“Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m perfect or anything,” he added, “Probably the closest damn thing there is to it,” he winked and she knew he was being playful, “but I’m sure I will piss you off eventually.”

She didn’t know what it all meant.  What was he saying?   Was he saying that he wanted a relationship with her?  Had one already developed right under her nose, without her even realizing it?

The hand he’d had at her head, fell to her shoulder, smoothing down the length of her arm until it reached her fingers, which he locked with his own.  “Are you getting all this?” he asked, “Because you’re not saying much and that is a little scary for me.”

She did smile then, a tiny giggle seeping from her voice.  “I’m getting it,” she said.

“Good, because in case you didn’t interpret the meaning behind all those words I just threw at you—I’m falling for you, too.”

Her heart swelled, just as his mouth came to hers for a kiss.  It felt good to hear that he was feeling the same.

When he pulled back, big smile still on his handsome face, he told her, “I’m glad you said something because after the conversation I just had with your ex-husband—which, by the way, I had to remind him that he was because he kept calling you his wife—well, I was trying to figure out how I was going to ask you if we’re “just fucking,” since that’s how it’s been referred to several times now this evening.”

“I don’t think we are,” she said softly.

“I don’t think we are, either.  I think it’s a lot more than that.”

She closed her eyes, letting it all sink in.  She couldn’t even describe how happy she felt at the moment.  She was tingly from head to toe and for once it wasn’t from the sex.

He kissed her sweetly and patted her hip.  “Do you mind if a take a quick shower?” he asked.

She shook her head no.  “I’m going to change the sheets and then I’ll join you.”

“Why don’t you join me now and we’ll change the sheets together, afterwards.”

She liked that idea.  She liked it very much.

It must have been close to three a.m. when Justin woke up in dire need of something to drink.  He slipped out of bed, away from Cassidy’s sleeping figure, and slipped into the shorts he’d had on earlier.  He didn’t quite feel right walking around in his underwear—yet.

He felt good about their talk—their entire night.  Actually their entire day.  Even the part that involved her ex-husband, because it only confirmed one thing.  Cassidy was definitely over the guy, and as she’d so openly admitted, was falling for Justin—hard.  He loved the fact that she was so open with her feelings.  It made life so much easier. 

He’d been in so many relationships where he had to fight with a woman to get her to tell him what she was feeling—his marriage, for sure.  Communication was so important, and Cassidy had no problems communicating. 

But there was one major thing he needed to talk to her about and it was something he was having a hard time being so open about.  They’d had sex a total of four times in the past two days without using any type of protection.  Yes, it is something he should have thought about before it happened, and it wasn’t like that slight flutter of a thought hadn’t popped into his head.  He’d just chosen to ignore it.  Definitely not the smartest way of thinking, especially since her ex-husband had been a total dog and fucked around on her at a very extreme level.

He was pissed at himself for not talking about with her before, but he really hadn’t thought about that consequence until seeing the guy face to face.  The other consequence—of course, the one that had brought them Cody—didn’t scare him at all.  Justin wanted a decent sized family.  If she accidentally got pregnant again, he’d be happy not scared.

With a huff he opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, drinking the entire thing.  When he turned to throw it in the trash and head back, she was standing right behind him and it just about scared the shit out of him as he jumped about a foot backwards.

She laughed.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He shook his head.  “Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, I was afraid you were sneaking out.”

With a chuckle he wrapped his arms around her, realizing then she was draped in his way-too-big t-shirt.  “And miss breakfast?  Are you crazy?”

“Oh, but it’s your turn to cook breakfast,” she said, her face nuzzled against his bare shoulder.

“I can cook cereal just fine,” he smirked, pressing his nose into the top of her head.  He loved the scent of her shampoo, it was sweet and made him feel like he was in a flower garden.

She giggled and pressed her lips into the crook of his neck.  “Come on,” she said, “come back to bed.”

During the trip upstairs Justin kept thinking about how he could bring it up.  How could he ask something of such a nature?  It was important and he didn’t think she was going to be upset about it.   In fact, he was sure she was going to tell him he had nothing to worry about because he couldn’t imagine her putting him at risk.   He just couldn’t.

When they got back into bed, and she curled up against his side, cozying up next to him, he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer.  She kissed his chest and the feeling to talk only grew stronger. 

He brushed a hand down the back of her head.  “There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he said.

She looked up at him, her chin weighted against his flesh.  “Okay…”

He could tell he’d already worried her.  “This is kind of hard for me to say, but I need peace of mind.”

“I’m on the pill and I’m not lying about it this time,” she said.

He smirked because that was part of it, but not all of it, and also because he realized how good they were getting at reading each other’s thoughts.  “That’s not just it,” he said.

“That was part of it.   So what else?”

“Your ex.  He cheated—a lot.  I mean, should I be worried about—”

She sat up, Indian style, and looked down at him.  “Justin, no.   Do you think I would put you in that type of situation?”

“No, of course not.   But it’s my health and that’s important to me.”

She nodded, completely understanding just like he knew she would be.  “Okay, ignore how stupid this is going to make me sound.”

“Baby, I don’t care what you tell me, I would never think that you’re stupid.”

She grinned and he didn’t know if it was because of what he’d said or because of how he’d said it.  “The last person I had sex with without a condom, was you.”

He looked at her kind of funny.   “But—”

She put up a hand to shush him.   “Remember, no judgment,” she said.  “Look, I know it should be a very big sign, when your husband refuses to have sex without a condom, that he’s probably screwing around, but he gave me some lame excuse about how it made him last longer and I bought it.  For awhile, anyway.  Obviously when other signs started appearing I got more and more suspicious.  But even still, since then I’ve been checked out and tested four times.  Because, yes, my health is important to me, too.”

Justin just shook his head.   “What an asshole.”

“Yeah, no fucking kidding.”

He hated that he’d brought it up, but it was something he was glad that they’d talked about.  Tugging on her arm, he pulled her back down beside him.  “Well, you’re going to not believe this, but—” he smirked at the coincidence because it was almost too much to believe—“I haven’t had sex without a condom either, since you.”

“You’re trying to make me not feel like such an idiot.  That’s sweet.”  Her hand smoothed down the center of his stomach. 

“No, I’m not.  My ex-wife was paranoid about getting pregnant.  She was on the fucking pill and she still made me wear a condom every single time.”

“Damn, that’s kind of ridiculous.”

“I always thought so.”  He hugged her even closer to him, tightening the arm he’d had curled underneath her.  “She never wanted to have kids—ever.  She wanted me to get fucking fixed.  Then we could stop using condoms.”  He shook his head, thinking about what a frigid bitch she’d been to ask that of him.  “I’m fucking 27 years old and she wanted me to have a goddamn vasectomy.”

Her lips pressed into his jaw and then to his neck.  “Sounds like we both picked the cream of the crop,” she voiced with sarcasm.

“God, you’re not kidding,” he turned his head, smiling as his eyes met with hers.  “You want more kids, right?  Eventually?”

Her grin was evident and that pleased him more than he imagined.  “I was an only child and it sucked.  I don’t want Cody to be an only child.”

He kissed her forehead.  “Good.  From now on that’s a prerequisite.  Do you want kids?   Yes?  Okay, check.  Now we can continue with our relationship.”  He felt like he needed to make what he’d asked sound not so serious, because talk of more kids already could have taken their very new relationship to a place it wasn’t ready to go and he was most certainly aware of that.

She giggled and kissed him again, the top of his shoulder this time.  “God, I really like being with you.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment.  He liked what she’d said.  “I like being with you, too,” he told her.  More than you know, he thought.

“I’m in love with her.”  He knew how sure he was.  Telling someone else—Trace—only confirmed what had been in his head.  He’d left Cassidy’s just before noon, went home, showered again and headed over to Trace’s house without so much as a call first.  When you were as close as they were, calls weren’t always necessary.

“J… you’re infatuated with her.   I mean, of course, you are.  She’s the mother of your son.  She’s hot.  The sex is great.   She’s hot.”

“You said the hot part twice.”  Trace’s wife Lisa walked into the room, carrying her sleeping infant in her arms.  “When do I get to meet this hot woman who’s the mother of your son and gives you great sex?”

Justin chuckled.  He’d always been a bit envious of the relationship Trace and Lisa had, but he didn’t feel that way now and he couldn’t help but think it was because he felt like he was on the brink of something just as great with Cassidy.  “Soon,” he told her.  “You’ve been kind of busy lately.” He eyed the sleeping bundle in her arms.

“True,” she agreed with a grin, as she sank into a cushy leather chair across the family room, carefully maneuvering her feet to rest on the ottoman without disturbing baby Elizabeth.

“Have you told the guys, yet?” Trace asked.

“That I’m in love?”

“No, dumbass.  That you have a four year old son.  Or did you forget that part already?  Jesus, you must be in love.  You’re losing your fucking mind, I think.”

“Did you lose your mind when you first fell in love with me?” Lisa asked, looking straight at Trace, but giving Justin a wink out of the corner of her eye.  Justin knew she was trying to get her husband to lighten up a little.  He loved her for that.

And as Justin gave an immediate “yes” Trace was defending with an obvious “no.”  The woman chuckled quietly and returned her attention to the adoring infant that was cradled against her chest.

“You never answered my question,” Trace probed.

“No, I haven’t told them yet.”

“Don’t you think they should know?  I can imagine how upset Chris or Joey, or even Lance or JC, are going to be when they learn that you’ve known for almost two weeks that you have a four year old son and haven’t bothered to pick up the phone and tell one of them.”

“Better to not tell any of them than just one of them,” Justin reasoned.

“But this is the thing, J—and you know that I am your very best friend in the world and I would never steer you wrong.  It’s going to hit the press soon and it is going to be this huge shock to everyone—your friends, your family, your fans—”

“I did finally tell my dad,” Justin interrupted.

“Yeah?  What’d he say?”

“He was kind of an ass about it.”

“No surprise there,” the man shrugged.  “Anyway, I think you need to cut this thing off at the pass, so to speak.”

Justin had an idea where Trace was going, but he needed to hear it exactly.  “What do you mean?”

“Put out a press release.   Make a statement.”  Then he started spouting something off from the top of his head, “I have recently learned that I have a four year old son and I’m planning on taking full responsibility, etc, etc, etc….”

Justin understood what Trace was saying, but he’d always had a problem about making press statements regarding his personal life.  He hated it.   But sometimes it was necessary, especially if you wanted to put the right spin on it. 

“Call Johnny.  Call Melinda.  Call Jeff Smith.  Let them know what the fuck is going on so they can be prepared and you can go about this the right way before it turns into a complete fucking nightmare.” 

Trace was right and it was the last thing Justin wanted to deal with.  He didn’t want to call all those people, but he had to.

He didn’t say a word, but he didn’t have to as the attention was taken off him, baby Elizabeth letting out a wail of a cry.  Lisa sat up, patting the baby’s back.  “I think it’s feeding time again,” she said, carefully rising to her feet.

“Baby, you can nurse out here.  Justin doesn’t care,” Trace told her.

“It’s okay.  We’re still getting the hang of it,” Lisa explained.  “As much as I am always for showing Justin my boobs, they’re pretty big right now and I wouldn’t want him to get scared,” she teased before disappearing from sight.

Justin just shook his head, a little frightened.  “You wife…” he remarked, not needing to say anything else.

“I know.  She’s one of a kind,” Trace smirked.  “So, you really think you’re in love with her?  Already?”

Justin nodded his head. 

“I guess that means we don’t have to listen to you cry over Macie anymore.”

He smirked at the mention of his ex-wife.  She was the last thing he’d been thinking about.  That was for damn sure.

© BrandyRae 2005