Five Years Later

Justin Timberlake sat two rows back from courtside.  His mom sat to his right.  His best friend Trace sat to his left.  The Lakers were playing the Supersonics.  It was the beginning of the season and the game really didn’t mean a whole lot in the scheme of things.  The Lakers weren’t quite the team they’d been a few years back, but he still loved basketball and after the past couple of months he’d needed something to occupy his mind.

He’d been through one of the roughest break-ups ever.  If you could call it that.  Technically it wasn’t just a break-up.  It was a divorce.  Unfortunately the marriage had only lasted six months, but that was beside the point.  He'd failed and he couldn't shake the pain of it.  This basketball game was the first time he’d set foot out of the house in weeks.  Every time he tried he was hounded by the press, hounded by the ruthless paparazzi. 

His lengthy relationship with one of Hollywood’s hottest starlets had been well publicized.  The separation had been even worse.  He was tired of thinking about it, but everywhere he turned it was right in his face.

He was twenty-seven years old, his career was still fairly strong.  He had a few hit movies under his belt, not to mention several hit records, both solo and with *NSYNC.   His career had never truly faltered.  But his personal life was in shambles.

He was absolutely miserable.

He’d talked her into marriage, but he couldn’t talk her out of divorce.  He wanted kids--a family.  She didn’t.  

Six months.  It had failed in six short months.

They’d dated for much longer, but the marriage had only lasted for six fucking months. 

He was miserable.

Instantly he shook out of his rut as Trace knocked a knee into his leg.  “You wanna beer?” the man asked.

“Yeah.  Mom?”

“I’ll take a bottle water, thanks.” 

Trace nodded and stood up.  Justin decided to stand up too.  “You know what?  I’ll go with you.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” 

The area they were in was fairly secure.  He wasn’t too worried about being mobbed or anything considering the price he'd paid, and anyone else in the area, had paid for their seats.  So pretending that he wasn’t nearly as depressed as he truly was, he followed Trace to one of the more private snack bar areas. 

He’d only made it two steps in line when he saw her.  He wasn’t even sure how he knew for sure it was her, but he did.  He knew instantly.

Cassidy Nickel had never called him.  They’d had one amazing night together and one incredible limo ride.   Still, to this day, he had not met a woman who could turn him out quite like she had.  The thought of all they'd done almost made his depression fade--almost.

He’d tried to get in touch with her after he’d returned home.  He tried all of his contacts, but nothing ever came through.  It was almost like she dropped off the face of the Earth for a good year and a half.   Then all the sudden there she was, on his TV--ESPN to be exact.  He’d been attached by then, with the woman who would eventually become his wife and then his ex.  But even still, he sat staring at the TV in awe once he saw her.  She was doing just fine in front of the camera, brilliant actually.  And he realized instantly that he had never forgotten about her.

Loosely he followed her career.  She ended up marrying one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL.  Funny, it wasn’t too long after he’d heard about her engagement that he asked his own girlfriend to marry him.

He’d never put those two facts together until that moment.

Now here she was, standing about three feet in front of him, looking just as good as she did five years ago--a time that was so memorable it had sparked him to write a number one song about it.  He wondered if she had any idea that the song was about their night.  He figured she must have.  He’d made it obvious on purpose.  He’d hoped after the song that she’d call, but she never did.

“Mommy!” Justin watched the little boy run, his arms stretched out, a head full of blond curls bouncing jubilantly as the boy trotted straight for her.  It was as if he’d been sucker punched right in the chest.   The wind just escaped right out of him.

He felt Trace elbowing him, but still he didn’t move.   It was almost as if he wasn’t even part of his own body, like he was watching from a spectator’s point of view.

It was silly to think.  It was his mind playing tricks on him.  But the boy looked just like him. 

Trace smirked and Justin was suddenly a part of reality once again.  “Funny,” his long-time friend remarked.  “That kid totally reminds me of you when we were little.”  Justin’s mouth went dry.  He must’ve been as white as a ghost.  “You okay, man?  You don’t look so hot.”

He didn’t answer.  Instead his feet were moving and before he even realized what he was doing he was kneeling down, eye to eye with a miniature version of himself, looking into gray-blue eyes that exactly mimicked his own.  “Hey, little man,” Justin grinned.  “You a big basketball fan?”

The boy nodded, looking mildly confused, but smiling nevertheless.  It was a Timberlake grin.  There was no mistaking it.  Justin put a hand to his chest, as if it would stop the sudden ache he felt in his heart.

He was overcome with emotion.  He wasn’t sure how he knew, but he was positive that this was his son.  In the deepest part of his soul he felt the connection.  He looked into this little boys eyes and it was as if he were looking at himself twenty-three years earlier.  It was--amazing.

“Justin,” her voice was soft, whispery soft.  It only confirmed what he already knew.  He swore he heard five years of pent up guilt.  It all made such perfect sense now.  She’d disappeared to have his baby.  She’d never called because she didn’t want him to know.   She’d did it all on her own.

He’d had a son for more than four years and he’d had no fucking idea.

He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel.  He didn’t know what to say or to do, but he realized quickly that Trace was marching up behind him.  Rising to his feet he pushed a tight smile to his lips and said a calm, “Hi.”

“You, um.  This is my son, Cody.”  She patted the top of the boys head, ruffling his curls as she forced out a smile.

“He’s beautiful.”  His voice came out calm and serene, but inside he felt like a tornado was ripping through his body--a tornado of hurt and confusion.  He realized that they didn’t know each other very well, but how could she not have told him?  Then again, what would he have said five years ago if she had?

“He’s yours.”  Her words were so quiet he barely heard them.  He wasn’t expecting her to admit it so openly.  He wasn’t expecting her to just drop it on him like that, even if she was simply confirming what he’d already known in his heart to be true.

“I know,” he whispered, trying not to choke up like he wanted to.  His heart was pounding and he felt as if his chest were ready to explode, but still he somehow managed to keep his calm.

“J, do I need to get security?”  Trace had obviously heard what she said and was undoubtedly thinking it was some crazy woman claiming she had his child.  It wouldn’t be the first time.  But this was different.  This was for real.

He turned to his oldest and closest friend and shook his head no.  “No need for that. Trace, this is Cassidy Nickel.”

She stuck out her hand.  “It’s Nickel-Brown now,” she corrected, and then added, “Sort of.”

Cassidy had played the scenario in her mind hundreds of times, but never had she expected it would go down quite like this.  She’d expected something bigger, some kind of blow up or--a temper, she guessed.  But not this.   He was completely calm, and accepting.

He’d known before she’d even told him.  How could he have known just like that?  Cody did look just like him.  She’d done her research.  It wasn’t a difficult task to find baby pictures of Justin Timberlake online.  And when she’d birthed a child that looked absolutely nothing like her, obviously she was curious.

Justin’s friend stuck out his hand at her, mouthing her name quietly to himself as if it sparked something in his mind but he wasn’t quite sure.   “Cassidy Nickel,” he stated it quietly.  “Oh, shit.”  Obviously he was aware of the very short time she and Justin had shared.

But Cassidy was more concerned with her child’s ears just a couple of feet down from them.  Cody was holding on to her hand tightly, absorbing everything.

Luckily Trace realized instantly and corrected himself.  “Shoot, I mean.”  He grimaced for just a quick moment.  Then he looked over at Justin.  “That Night?”

She wasn’t sure what the reference meant, but Justin obviously knew exactly as he nodded with confirmation.  Cassidy just squinted with confusion.  This whole scene was very awkward.  What was she supposed to say to him now?

But her attention was drawn behind him, to the woman that was marching straight for them.  It was his mother.   She knew instantly, kind of like he’d known instantly that Cody was his son.  “I was starting to get worried.”  She spoke in a thick southern drawl as she laid a hand on her son’s shoulder from behind.  He turned his head gently.

“Sorry.  Everything’s fine.”  His eyes returned back to Cassidy.  “This is Cassidy Nickel-Brown and her son Cody.”

The middle-aged woman grinned with mild confusion as she stuck out a hand and said, “Nice to meet you.”  Cassidy could only hope that Justin’s mother wasn’t as perceptive as he was.  But why on Earth would she think that Cody was her grandson?  Surely she had no knowledge of what had happened between them.  Who would tell their mom all that!  “What a gorgeous little boy, you have there.  Now I understand the hold up.  I’m sure my son just couldn’t help himself when he saw that little cutie.”

Thank God.  If she thought anything, she wasn’t showing it.  “Mom,” Justin spoke quietly, warningly, as if the woman had already said too much.  Then he eyed his friend as if he was telling him a million things without saying a word.

The shorter man touched the blonde’s arm.  “Hey mom,” he called her and Cassidy realized in an instant how close they all were.  “Let’s go get those drinks,” he suggested to her.

“You sure you’re okay?” The woman asked her son.

Justin nodded.  “I’ll be there in a minute,” he assured.

The two left and suddenly Mommy, Daddy and child were all standing together for the very first time in Cody’s life.  The boy didn’t know it, of course, but it was still a rather strange feeling for Cassidy.  Her heart was racing at the realization.

“Obviously we need to talk and this is not the place,” Justin said after a quiet moment.

“Justin, I don’t expect anything from you.”  She didn’t know what else to say, but she didn’t want him to feel obligated just because he’d become aware.  They’d done just fine for the past four years.  Well, if you didn’t count her bad marriage and even shakier separation.  The divorce papers would be finalized any day, thank God.

He shook his head and it was obvious to her that she’d irritated him.  Funny, he hadn’t changed a whole lot since she’d seen him last.  He’d aged some and it seemed there wasn’t quite as much bounce in his step as there’d been before.  The twinkle in his eye wasn’t there, but she could understand why.  Everyone who lived on planet Earth knew what he was going through.   It had been very well headlined, much to his dismay she was sure. “Well, I expect something from you and like I said we can’t very well talk about it here.  Where can I call you?”

“Just give me your number and I’ll call you.”

“No.”  His voice was firm.   It was obvious that he wasn’t going to back down.  “We tried that once before, remember?  I never heard a word from you.”  She honestly never thought he would care.  A part of her was surprised he even remembered.  It had been almost five years.  “How ‘bout we just go somewhere right now and talk.  Or are you working?”

Releasing a rather loud huff of air, she shook her head no.  “I’m not working.  Haven’t been for about a year.  But I can’t leave. My Dad is here with me and Cody would be very disappointed.”

She opened her purse and dug out a pen and the only thing she could find to right on--the receipt from the snack bar.  She scribbled down her number on the back.  “Here.”

He took it.  “What about your husband?  Does he know?”

Cassidy sighed again, realizing what a complete wreck her life was.   “My husband will only be my husband for about another week, and no.  No one knows.   Only me, and now you, and your friend… and I suspect maybe your mother.”

“Cassie, everything okay?”  She looked over to see her father coming towards them, concern written across his sixty-year-old face. 

“Cody, go with Grandpa.  Okay?”  She let go of her son’s hand and ruffled his hair again.  “Mommy will be right there.” 

“Okay, Mommy.”  He looked up at her and smiled with bright blue eyes before trotting off to meet Grandpa.

“I’ll be right there, Dad,” Cassidy called out to him.  

The gray-haired man looked rather confused, but nodded his head and headed back to their seats with the little boy’s hand held securely in his own.

“Cassie?” For the first time she saw a tiny glimpse of a grin at his lips.  What she didn’t know was that it was the first touch of a smile Justin had shown in weeks.

She shook away the thought of her nickname and said to him what she knew she needed to say.  “Look, I’m sorry.  Okay?  But what was I supposed to do?  Call you up and tell you the truth?  Would you even have believed me?”

Justin shrugged.  He honestly didn’t know.  All he did know was that he’d missed the first four years of his son’s life and that made him very sad.  “I don’t know,” he answered honestly.  “But he’s my son and I think I deserve a chance to be his daddy.”  His heart ached at what he’d just said.  He was a daddy.  It was something he’d wanted more than anything and here suddenly he was--had been for four years with no fucking clue!

“Justin,” her voice was rather shaky when she spoke his name this time.  “That’s touching. It really is.  But you don’t have to do this.”

“Quit fucking telling me what I do or don’t have to do.   Alright?”  He was getting pissed off and his voice probably was a little louder than it should have been.  He instantly softened at the realization.  “Look.  I am going to call you tomorrow.”  He leaned in closer.  He wanted her to know just how serious he was.  “I hope to God you answer your phone.  Please don’t turn this into something ugly.  I don’t want to get lawyers involved, but I will.  He’s my son too and I have every right to be a part of his life, just as much as you do.” 

He turned and walked away before she could say a word.  Suddenly basketball didn’t sound so fun anymore.  He got back to his seat and told them he was ready to go home.   And they did.

Cassidy was shaking when she returned to her seat.  He wouldn’t actually try to take Cody away from her, would he?  The little boy had no idea who his father was.  It would tear him completely apart. 

“Sweetheart, what is going on?” her father asked before she’d even sat down.  The look on her face must have shown a thousand concerns.  She had at least that many going through head at the moment.  “Wasn’t that that Justin Timberlake guy?  How do you know him and why did he look so upset with you?”

“Daddy,” she called him.  “I can’t talk about this right now.”  And she looked down at Cody without even realizing she was doing so.

“That’s not--  Is it?”

She turned away, trying to focus on the game.  She couldn’t look him in the eye.  He’d already figured out the truth and her refusal to answer was all the confirmation he’d need.  Her father knew her well.  Better than anyone.

He’d softened up quite a bit over the past few months.  At first when she’d announced that she was getting divorced he’d been furious.  Then when she explained why, he was furious again only not at her but her soon-to-be ex.  The marriage had turned ugly rather quickly and Jason Brown had turned out to be the exact opposite of what she’d thought she’d married.   She thought she had married a kind, gentle and loving man.  In all honesty, she'd married a liar, an abuser and a cheat--although not in that exact order.  The lying came first--lying about the cheating of course.   Then, when she’d finally gathered enough proof to call him on it, came the abuse.  That’s when she’d walked out the door and never looked back.  She’d let him hit her one time.  It would never ever happen again.

Luckily for her she was getting a rather nice settlement from the divorce, including their home in Beverly Hills.  It was odd that a man who liked to cheat on his wife would put a clause in the prenup in regards to committing adultery--a clause that granted her a much bigger chunk of his estate than if things had ended under different and less heartbreaking circumstances.   The only explanation she could fathom was that his ego was so fucking big that he thought he’d never get caught.  Or maybe he thought if he did he could just beat her into submission and she’d actually let him get away with it.  Wrong!  He’d definitely picked the wrong girl.

But it had made a rather ugly legal battle, which made her even more nervous at Justin's mention of lawyers.  Jason had tried everything in the book to completely write her off and she'd got lucky.  She'd had a good attorney and was able to get what was rightfully hers.  Now she was about five days away from signing papers, thinking that she was finally free, but running into Justin Timberlake had brought a world of stress back into her life. 

If he tried to take her son she’d have nothing left in her life at all.  She couldn’t let that happen.  No way.

© BrandyRae 2005