Cassidy did not have a clue what to expect as she pulled up the street to Justin’s house.  He’d called when she was on her way back from her parents, asked if they wanted to come over for lunch, then given her directions and the security code to get into his front gate.  A little trustworthy right off the bat, but she realized they were going to have to trust each other if they were planning to make this co-parenting work.

Obviously she’d accepted the invitation and she and Cody—who was sleeping in the backseat with his head slumped forward looking completely uncomfortable—were only a few minutes away.  Justin said he’d had information on the test and that they could talk it over after they ate.  He then mentioned something about being starving and she was instantly reminded of the late night room service they’d shared some five years earlier.

Of course she’d have been lying if she said she never thought about what had happened between them.  The worst had been mid-pregnancy, when her hormones were raging and she’d had no outlet for release—in other words, no man.  She’ d come so close to calling him then, but as soon as she’d look down at her little hump of a belly, she’d chicken out.  No way he’d have wanted what she’d wanted after realizing the state she was in, even if the baby was his!

But that seemed like ages ago now.  Shortly after Cody was born she met Jason.  He’d completely wined and dined her—and caught her at a time in her life when she felt like maybe it was time to try and build a relationship with a man for the sake of her son.  Too bad she picked the completely wrong one!   Thank God Jason had always been nothing but kind to Cody.  Cassidy wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if it had been any differently.

She’d let her mind wander just a bit after Justin had left the night before—What if she had called him up back then?  Would they have tried to build a relationship?  Would it have worked?  Maybe they both would have been saved from the heartache they were suffering presently.  Or maybe their heartache would have been even worse.

Life was a gamble.  There was no guessing at the “what ifs”.  It never worked.

Pulling up to what she believed was his home, although she couldn’t exactly see it, she found something—or someone, rather—that she wasn’t expecting.  Trace was standing just outside the tall, wooden gate, and it looked like he was waiting there just for her.  She stopped a few feet in front of him, watching as he came jogging to her passenger side door.  When he tried it and it was locked, he knocked on the window.  Her hand flew to the automatic door lock, it clicked and he hopped in.

“Slight change of plans,” he announced.  Then he looked at the little boy asleep in the back before his sight met with hers.   “Hi, I’m Justin’s friend, Trace.  You remember me, right?”

She nodded.  “Yes, of course.  What do you mean, change of plans?”

“If you could just drive around to the back of the house, I’ll explain.” 

She did, realizing that driving around to the back of Justin’s house meant driving around a rather large city block—that was all his.  Not that she was surprised, of course, or all that impressed.  It wasn’t like she was living in a shack and with the position she was, money was the last thing to tilt her head.

As she drove, Trace talked.  Apparently Justin’s ex-wife had shown up out-of-the-blue and he was trying to escape.  The plan was for him to meet them out back and Justin and Trace would switch places.  It was a little evil, if you asked Cassidy, but she could totally understand.  She didn’t want to deal with her ex—or soon-to-be as they hadn’t actually signed papers yet—right now either.

Finally they came to a spot where the fence that surrounded the property was just slightly ajar.  A secret gate, perhaps?  “Stop here,” Trace told her.

She did.  Quickly Justin popped out from behind that small camouflaged door in the fence. 

“Nice seeing you again,” Trace grinned and gave one more quick glance back at Cody before hopping out and Justin sliding in.

“I am so sorry,” the man immediately spoke.  

“It’s okay,” she told him as he shut the car door, waving a quick goodbye to his friend before he disappeared behind the same small door.  “Where are we going?”

“It doesn’t matter.  Trace is going to call me when it’s safe to go back—probably 15 or so.”

She nodded just once and pulled the car back onto the road.   “Does he work for you?”

“Trace?”  Justin craned his neck to look back at Cody.  When he returned his sight to Cassidy he had the biggest, goofiest grin on his face.  “Is it okay for him to sleep like that?”

Cassidy nodded again.  “Yeah.  It’s fine.   Every kid I’ve ever known sleeps in the car like that.”

He bobbed his head a little bit and then continued, “So, you asked about Trace.  Yeah, he works for me.  We’ve been friends since we were born I think—something like that.  We’ve known each other longer than we remember.  Anyway, he started as my assistant and just kind of worked his way up as he learned the business.  Now he handles a lot of stuff for me and I pretty much just couldn’t live without the guy.  He’s married and his wife is expecting any day now—a little girl.”  Justin huffed out a breath.  “And that’s Trace’s life story.”  He grinned and asked, “How’d it go with the folks?”

“Um, not bad.  A little difficult looking my dad in the eye after admitting that I lied.  He’s really big on truth and all that.   But they both agree that this will be better in the long run.”

“You mean me?”

She looked back to make sure Cody was still sleeping.  He was.  “I mean Cody having a father—so yes, you.”

Justin smirked.  “Turn here,” he told her.

Without questioning, she did as he instructed. 

“Well, that’s good.  I guess…”   His eyes focused from the road to her.  “So your dad wasn’t, like, upset because I’m a singer and not a football player or something?”

Cassidy shook her head.  “Would you stop with that?   No, of course not.  Don’t be silly.”

“Well, just making sure…”

She caught herself grinning as she drove down a curvy road.   Large, beautifully landscaped homes lined both sides of the street.  It was a neighborhood very similar to her own.  “So what did you find out about the test?” she asked.

“Oh,” he said as if he had forgotten all about it.   “Well, my attorney had a kit messengered over this morning.  It’s very simple and we should have the results in 7 to 10 days.  They’re going to rush it for me, of course.”

“Of course.”

“So we can do it today if you want.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” 

Silence filled the car then as she continued to drive aimlessly.  Cassidy stole a few discreet glances at Justin while he gazed out the window.  He was still just as gorgeous as he’d been five years before.  In fact, she wasn’t sure why exactly, but each time she saw him he seemed to be better and better looking.  His hair was cut very short to his head and his jaw was clean shaven—not how it had been that first day she had seen him at the game, when he’d had what looked like the start of a full beard.  It was hard to tell exactly, but he looked maybe a little thinner than she remembered.  Considering her current weight and stress, she understood completely.  Today he was dressed very casually in a plain pair of dark denim jeans and a plain white designer t-shirt—it had a very small logo on the chest.  Not that she expected any less.  She’d always been a bit of a brand whore herself.

She still had one eye on him as he chuckled softly to himself, his head shaking back and forth and a hand raising to his brow.  “What?” she asked curiously.

“Oh, I was just imagining the scene playing out back at the house.  Poor Trace—having to deal with that.  I owe him my life, I think.”

“She going to be pissed because you snuck out like that?”   She wasn’t sure if it was okay to ask, but she did it anyway.

It must have been, as he laughed a little more.  “Irate is more like it.  I don’t even know why she showed up.  Something about some photo albums.”  He shook his head.  “Like I want to keep pictures of her and her family from their vacation ten years ago.”  His lip snarled.   “Crazy woman, I swear.”

“So if she just came to get some photo albums then why would she care if you’re there or not?”

“Exactly.”  He pointed at her expressively.   “My thoughts exactly.”

“She doesn’t know, does she?”

Justin shook his head no, fervently.  “I want to keep it out of the press for as long as possible, not that I’m afraid she’d tell, but I haven’t told anyone except for who already knows.  I haven’t even told my dad yet, which is probably not a good thing…”

Cassidy was too busy absorbing what he’d said about keeping it from the press to think about anything else that had come out of his mouth.   That thought hadn’t even occurred to her.  The press was going to have a field day when they found out that Justin Timberlake had a long lost son with Jason Brown’s ex-wife.  Before she even realized what she was doing, she’d groaned loudly and obviously.

“I know.  I’m worried about it too,” Justin said, clearly knowing what she was thinking.  “I don’t want my boy pictured in the media either.  We’ll figure it out, okay?  Don’t stress too much yet.”

She nodded.  “I’ll try not to.”

They both heard little movements coming from the backseat then.  Cody was waking up.  “Mommy?” he called out hoarsely. 

She looked back quickly, catching sight of him as he stretched his arms up towards the sky.  “Hello, sleepy head,” she smiled.

“I’m hungry.”

She realized Justin was looking back at Cody as he agreed, “Me too, little man.  Me too.”  The similarities between father and son were appearing more and more, and it seemed to just touch her heart in every way possible.

An hour later Cassidy found herself sitting next to Justin’s mom, Lynn, on a bench at the outskirts of Justin’s own private basketball court, where he and Trace were playing with Cody, lifting him up to shoot and dunk.

It was probably one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen, but she was trying not to look too sappy in front of Justin’s mother.   They’d spoken a little bit, but it was definitely an awkward situation.   Cassidy was feeling slightly uncomfortable even though she got the feeling Lynn was trying very hard to convey the opposite.

“He is such an adorable little boy,” the woman remarked, her eyes focused on the same place as Cassidy’s.  “And he is the spitting image of Justin.  I’ll just feel better once we see the results of the test, though.”  Her head turned Cassidy’s direction then.  “Not that I think you’re lying.  I just don’t want to see my son go through anymore hurt.”

“I understand your concern,” Cassidy told her, keeping one eye on Lynn and one on her son and his daddy.  “But there is absolutely no question in my mind that Justin is Cody’s father.”

Lynn nodded.  Maybe she was agreeing.  Maybe not.   “What about now? Do you have an interest in my son now?”

“Uh…”  Cassidy was dumbstruck.  She’d never expected for the woman to be so outspoken. 

“I just don’t want you to disappear again.  Now that he’s found you and this perfect little boy—”  She sighed quietly.   “He’d be devastated—”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Cassidy said, before Lynn could finish.  “I know I hid Cody from him for all this time.  But what was I supposed to do?  And would he even have believed me back then?  I don’t know.  But those were different circumstances.  Cody needs a father and I’m not trying to keep that from him.”

Two men and one little boy—perched on top of his daddy’s shoulders—were on their way over and the conversation immediately ceased.   “Should we go inside?”  Justin asked.  “Get the dirty work over with?”  He was referring to the test, no doubt.

“Yeah, let’s.”

Justin had noticed the look on his mother’s face from across the court and he knew that whatever she was telling Cassidy was probably something he wouldn’t exactly want her to say.  He figured it was a good time to get the two of them away from each other.  The test was as good as excuse as any.   Besides, the quicker they got the samples, the quicker he could call for it to be picked up and sent to the lab for processing.

It was kind of unbelievable that this was something you could actually do in your own home and not even have to visit a doctor’s office.  It was amazing how far the medical world had come.

They all marched up the short distance to the house.   Cody bouncing on top of Justin’s shoulders.  He was feeling incredible about how the boy was already starting to build a bond with him.  Justin already felt close.  There was just so much he wanted to do and show him.  He couldn’t wait for all their long talks about growing up—school and girls and cars—and girls.   He’d have lots of stuff to share when it came time for that subject.

He probably didn’t realize that he was smiling hugely, but he was.  He let out a deep breath and carefully put Cody back to his feet as Trace opened the back slider.  He was ready to be alone with his boy and his boy’s mommy, but he wasn’t quite sure how to get rid of Trace and his mom.  Maybe he could take Trace aside and tell him.  He’d figure out a way to get his mom to leave too.

But that was kind of chicken shit, wasn’t it?  Maybe he should just tell them both the truth.

“Cassie,” he called her, sticking with the nickname whether she liked it or not.  “Why don’t you and Cody go hang out in the family room.  I’ll be right there.” 

She agreed with a nod and took the little boys hand, disappearing into the room they’d been sitting in before they’d gone outside.   Justin looked over at his mom and then Trace and tilted his head for them to follow him.  They got inside the kitchen and Trace had already read his mind.  “J, I’m going to head out, if you don’t need me anymore.”

Justin shook his head and gave the man a quick wave.   “See ya.”

Trace kissed Justin’s mom sweetly on the cheek and was out the door.

“Momma, I hate to be annoying, but—”

“You want me to go too?”

Justin grinned guiltily. 

“No problem.  I think I’m going catch a flight home tonight.  Seems like you’re handling things on your own just fine now.”

She was right.  He was.  “I am.”

“Don’t mind me then.  I’ll just be out in the guest house packing a bag and hopefully on a flight in a few hours.”

Justin stepped up to her and gave her a hug.  “You didn’t say anything to her that I should know about, did you?”

“I asked if she had an interest in you.”  He stepped back from her with wide eyes.  “I think I caught her off guard.   She didn’t give me an answer.”

Why did he find himself happy that she hadn’t told his mother a straight out no?  “Well, Jesus, what did you expect?”

“I just wanted to make sure she didn’t plan on up and leaving.  I know you’d be devastated.”

“Okay, okay.  I get it.  I’m going back in the other room now.”  He wanted to end the conversation quickly all the sudden.   “Let me know before you leave.”

Three hours later Justin’s mom had gone, the samples for the test had been swabbed, labeled and contained just as instructed and the courier was on its way to pick it up.  Justin sat in the middle of his living room floor with Cody, playing with the huge Lego set he’d bought during his shopping spree earlier that morning.  He’d picked out the whole set for Cody’s age group—a castle with a dragon and knights and all kinds of stuff.  There’d been one of all dinosaurs, but it was for age 7+ so he went with castle and knights one instead.  He’d almost bought both, but changed his mind when he realized he already had a cart full.

He’d put most of the stuff he’d purchased up in one of the many rooms in his oversized home.  It would eventually be Cody’s bedroom.   He already had an appointment with a designer for the following week.  By then he figured it would be safe for someone else to hear about his son.  He was just a little wary that by hiring someone to do Cody’s room, he was opening the door to gossip and press—even more than he was already getting because of the divorce.

It sickened him to think he was going to be dragging his son into such a circus, but there was absolutely no way around it.  If there was, he’d figure it out.  He’d do everything he could to shelter him from his madness of a lifestyle.

Cassidy was sitting on the floor with them, too.   Although she wasn’t helping much with the Lego building.  She was perched with her back against the sofa, mainly just watching and adding her two cents in every now and then.  After they’d finally finished constructing the castle, the dragon and the knight, Justin left Cody alone to play and scooted towards her.  “You getting bored?” he asked.

“Are you kidding?  No way.”

He found himself smiling for the umpteenth time since he’d been around her and their son.  He hadn’t smiled so much in months, maybe even years.  It was sad to think about how long he’d been unhappy and hadn’t even known it.  “That’s good.”

“It’s nice watching the two of you together.   Score with the Lego’s, by the way.”

Justin fell beside her, her body just a touch away.   “You forget that I was a little boy once, too.”

She smiled then, looking right at him.  “No, it’s pretty easy to be reminded of that, seeing you play with him.”

He didn’t think she meant he was childish, but he felt himself wanting to ask anyway.  “Are you trying to say I’m a big kid at heart?” he asked instead.

She shrugged.  “I guess.”

“Is something wrong?  Did my mom say something to upset you earlier?”

She shook her head no.  “Not really.  She is a little more outspoken then I expected, though.”

He chortled softly.  “Yeah, she has a tendency to be that way when it comes to me.  She’s usually very reserved, but then sometimes that bluntness just sneaks right up on ya.  I’m sure she didn’t mean anything to offend you, though.”  He was pretending he had no idea what his mother had said to her when in actuality he knew exactly.  He just wanted to see if she’d tell him or not.

“She didn’t offend me.  She asked if I had any interest in you and it just caught me kind of off guard.”

“Do you?”  He’s said it before he could even think to stop himself. 

The look on her face at his boldness could only be described as surprise.  At least it wasn’t repulsion!  “You’re not any better than she is,” Cassidy spoke gruffly, but softly.  “Honestly, I haven’t really thought about it.”  Well Justin had thought about it, so hearing that was slightly disappointing.  Maybe she read his expression too well, because she continued.  “It’s just—I haven’t even signed my divorce papers and you barely signed yours.”

“I feel the same way completely.”  He put both of his hands up in surrender.

“Obviously I feel some sort of connection with you.   I mean, we have a huge connection sitting right in front of us.”

Justin grinned widely.  “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he confessed sappily.

Cassidy was smiling now too.  “He’s pretty great.  I’ll be the first to agree with you on that one.  He’s my whole life.”

But Justin couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to be a part of her life too.  Was that normal—already?

They sat silently for several minutes.  Cassidy’s mind was working overtime and then some.  She did feel an interest in Justin, other than the fact that he was Cody’s father, but it definitely wasn’t something she was ready to admit.   When Lynn had asked her about it, she’d been scared to death that the woman would have read her like an open book and known the answer without hearing a word.  If she had, she didn’t show it. 

And if Justin knew, he didn’t show it either.  But he did give off subtle little hints that he was interested.  But she had to wonder if it was genuine or just because of the circumstances, and that made her extremely wary.  Another reason why she didn’t want to bring her slight amount of interest to his attention.

The most unfortunate part was, of course, that she hadn’t had sex in months and even though he was doing nothing to provoke it, she found herself wanting him profusely.  But her days of one-night-stands were long gone—especially after the outcome of the last one she’d had!  Not that she was afraid of that happening again.  She was definitely on the pill now, even though she didn’t have much need for it.  She’d simply failed to stop taking it after her marriage had fell apart.

But that was beside the point.  She didn’t want to ruin the friendship she and Justin needed to build in order for the whole relationship to work.  They had to make things work for Cody’s sake.  Her son came first before everything.

So on top of everything she was feeling just a tad sexually frustrated.  It was a no win situation.

For some reason her thoughts drifted back to Lynn and she found herself wondering just exactly how much the woman knew about their past encounters.   It had been several minutes since either of them had spoken a word and Cassidy found it rather easy to ask such a thing.  “So how much does your mom know?”

He turned to her, a curious expression across his face.   “About what?”

“Me.  Us.  Five years ago.”

“Oh… that.”  He said it as if he’d forgotten it ever happened, which she knew was definitely not the case.  “Honestly?   More than I’d like her to.”

“Really?  How is that possible?”

His shoulders slumped as he seemed to sink down towards the floor.  “I guess you never heard the song, did you?”

“What song?” 

He huffed.  “That Night.  I wrote a song called That Night.  It was a huge hit about four years ago.”

She was a little nervous about the reference to That Night.   “Justin, I was a little busy four years ago.  I’m sure I probably heard it if it was a big hit, but I don’t know exactly what song you’re talking about and I’m not always good at paying attention to the words of a song.  And for some reason I’m not sure that I want to know now…” she drifted off.

He smirked, maybe a bit nervously.  “My intentions were not bad when I wrote it.  Actually, I was hoping you’d hear it and call.”

“Really?”  Her curiosity was definitely sparked.  “So what did this song say?”

He smirked again.  Definitely nervous, she thought.   “Pretty much everything that happened between us in a suitable-for-radio kind of way.”

Cassidy groaned, loudly.  Suddenly she felt very—embarrassed.   “And your mother’s heard this?”

“Cassie,” he called her again and she wasn’t sure if she liked him using the nickname or not, but she didn’t stop it.  “Everyone’s heard it.  It was probably one of my biggest hits.”

“Oh… my… fucking… God.”

Her curse was quiet, but not so quiet that Justin didn’t hear.  Funny, one little word and he felt this instant lust for her.  It was a very bad thing and he needed to squash it right away.  If it had been acceptable for him to ask her to not use that word ever again, he would have.  “Would it make you feel better if I told you I meant it as a total compliment?”  He didn’t think as much, but it was worth a shot.

Her head shook—a subtle no.  “I am so embarrassed right now.  You have no idea.”

“What happened between us was not a bad thing.  I mean, look at what it produced.”  He was definitely reaching now.

The look she shot him was incredulous to say the least.   “Yes, but I never expected the whole world to know all the details.”

“I can’t help it that you inspired me to such a degree.”  He was doing everything possible to squirm his way out of it, but he had a bad feeling that nothing he could say would help.

In fact, she outright laughed at that one.  “Puh-lease.   Don’t give me that.  You saw an opportunity to market your exploitations and you took it.”

He feigned a gasp of shock.  So what if she’d figured that part of him out completely?  So what?  “I honestly thought you’d hear it and call,” he told her again.

She was laughing now and he was hoping that it was a good thing.  “I cannot believe this.  How am I ever going to look anyone you know in the face?”

“You looked my mom and Trace in the face just fine and they didn’t say anything about it… shit.”  He realized instantly that he’d cursed too loud as Cody immediately looked over.

“Mommy, Justin said the s word,” the boy snitched.

“I know, sweetheart.  Remember, it’s okay for grown ups to say it, but not little kids; and what did I tell you about tattling?”

Cody’s big blue eyes dropped, a look of sadness fell over his perfect little face.  “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.  You’re not in trouble.   Just keep playing, okay?”

He nodded and marched the Lego knight up to the front of the castle.

“Sorry,” Justin whispered.

“Don’t say sorry.  You didn’t do anything.”

Had she forgotten about it already?  “So I’m off the hook then?” he asked, a hopeful grin across his face.

“For that?  No.  I was talking about—" She let out a loud breath of air.  "Oh, damn you, Justin.”  Her head was down, shaking lightly back and forth and there was a huge smile on her face.

Victory had been seized and he was very aware of it.  He patted her knee.  “It’s hard to stay mad at me.  I'm just warning you now.”

She looked up at him, obviously not liking what he'd just said, but not trying to argue either.  “I want to hear this song… but not right now.”

He smirked.  “Whenever you’re ready,” he told her.

“It might take me some time to work up to it,” she said.

He found himself chuckling.  “I understand completely.”

She just shook her head, glared at him and then turned her attention away.   “So what are we doing for dinner, anyway?” 

© BrandyRae 2005