As I lay partially on Sly’s chest that night I fingered the black cotton sheets that dressed his bed and thought about what Monica had said. Yes I knew that she was right, but couldn’t she see that I was happy with being in a fantasy. Even if I had to lie to myself and say that Justin wasn’t nothing but a guy with great business sense. I liked my bubble that I had built up and there my best friend was to burst it in a matter of seconds. I was willing to be naïve and I wanted to be that way for a while. I wanted not to care that Justin had probably killed someone or had orchestrated a hostel take over of L.A. But now that I was laying with my ear on his heart and heard it beat, I was losing the downhill battle that was my naivety and my head.
“Babe?” I ask to see if he’s still with me. “Yeah?” he answered. “Did you mean what you said the other night?” I asked while bringing my chin to replace my ear and looked at him waiting for an answer. “What did I say?” was his reply. I sit up and look at him more thoroughly. “That you were looking to get out of the game and settle down. That you wanted me beside you when you did.” I reminded him. I watch as his eyes shift as if he’s trying to remember if he said that or not. And then something hit me. The other night before the first piece of clothing fell I had told him that I knew what he did and that I didn’t wanna get hurt by him or because of him. And that’s when he said that he was thinking about leaving the illegal stuff to the new kids and was going to focus on trying to make a bigger name for himself with his restaurants and labels, and then he ripped my shirt off and started to carry me like a cave man to his bedroom.
“You were lying.” I voiced out loud and began to scoot farther away from. He sat up to be eye level to me. “Don’t start this little girl shit again. You knew me and now you know me. I can’t just up and leave something that I birthed. Conceived. So what I lied, you’re here aren’t you.” He said and then reached for me. I flinched away from him and damn near fell out of the bed. “You’re an asshole.” I said and then got up to look for my clothing. “Be that as it may, you can’t beat me. And where the hell are you going?” He said tauntingly. “Home.” I said plainly putting on my pants and looking for my shirt. “How you gone get there.” He asked still laid up in the bed like a king. “I can call Richy.” I answered. “And tell him what that you been laid up at his friend's house getting worked? Please, Rich would kick your ass half way home. Stop acting like a child and get back in the bed and go to sleep.” And with that he turned over and put his back to me. I felt my face begin to get hot and my eyes began to burn.
I had been scammed and my mind wasn’t the onlt thing tricked but a little bit of my heart was too. I had been waiting years for someone to finally care about me and not how big my breast are or about how high my ass sit. And the other night after Justin and I had made love, we had talked about everything. We had even shared a shower. He had seen every inch of me, inside and out, and I had let him. I had been dupped in the worst way and for that I was pissed. And now here I stood in this stranger’s room with ruffled clothes and a bruised pride. I didn’t know who to call because as much as I hated to admit it he was right. I so much as said that Justin had let me used his bathroom, Rich would no doubt shake the hell out of me. And Monica was out of the question there was no way that I was going to give her the satisfaction of being right, and I don’t even wanna think about my mother. So this bastard had me, I wasn’t going anywhere tonight, but I damn sure wasn’t going to lay beside him for another nigt, so I made it a point to stomp loudly out of his room, down his stairs, and into his livingroom and that is where I was going to stay until tomorrow when he took me home and lost my number.
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