My knuckles were beginning to hurt from how much I have been banging on this damn door for the past half hour. “Justin!” I called in for the fifteenth time.
“Fuck off! Give me a minute!” he screamed from behind the door.
“You have to go out there in ten minutes!” I screamed back. This is the last night of his 13-month tour and I have never been happier in my life. What I wouldn’t give to spend one night far away from him so he can’t bang on my door in the middle of the night when his drunken ass can’t find his key or he needs a condom.
I continued banging, “It’s open you idiot!”
I took a deep breath and tried to control the fact that my boss just called me an idiot. That’s actually good for him, he usually calls me much worse. “You need to get ready. You go on in ten minutes, you have to get changed and…”
“Does it look like I’m changed Sari?” he asked never breaking his gaze from the blank wall in front of him. The room smells like marijuana, that shouldn’t surprise me. It usually does. Isn’t that stuff supposed to calm you down? It sure as hell doesn’t calm him down.
“I just get nervous when you lock yourself in your dressing room before the show.” It wouldn’t surprise me if one of these days we have to open it and find he slit his wrists or something. Not that he’s depressed or anything but who knows what’s going on in his messed up rock star mind.
Justin looked right at me and rolled his eyes, making sure that I could see it, “How long have you been working for me Sari? How long have we been on tour?” too long is the answer. “Over a year, and before every show for over a year I lock myself in my dressing room. And before every show for over a year you bang on my door and scream in for me to open it up because you’re so scared that I’m not going to be ready when the show starts. And every time I’m already dressed and ready to go, and I wait out there for twenty fucking minutes. It’s not like they’re going to go on without me. Calm down”
One of these days I’m going to snap and tell him to fuck off and sell my story to the tabloids. It makes me sick to think he has fooled so many people around the world into thinking he’s this sweet wholesome boy next door, when in reality he’s an arrogant asshole who only cares about himself. “Some people wanted to meet you before the show.”
“Some people? Who?”
“Um…” I looked through the papers in front of me.
“Um…” he mimicked, “Let’s go Suzie, I have to be onstage.”
I looked up at the papers to give him a dirty look. I swear sometimes he does all this to annoy me. He knows damn well my name is not Suzie yet he manages to call me every name that begins with a S. “I have it somewhere.” He started to hum the Jeopardy theme song, “Alright, stop! You’re like five. Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie.”
“No.”
“No? what do you mean no?”
“I mean no. I don’t want to see them.”
“OK, fine what about Gary Coleman?”
He laughed at that one, full out laughed. I knew he wouldn’t want to see him but it’s my job to ask him yet I get made fun of for even considering it. “Are you fucking kidding me Suzie? Unless it’s a fucking Victoria’s Secret model I don’t want to meet anyone.”
“What do you want me to tell them?”
“That I have a fucking show to do, that might work.” I tired to scribble it down in my notebook but he hates when I write things down and grabbed it from my hands before throwing it down, “You really have to write down that I have a show?”
I grabbed my notebook off the floor and followed Justin to the stage along with his three security guards. “Shit,” Justin said softly as he saw the girls mentioned earlier waiting for him to pass and they began to giggle, “What’s up ladies?” he asked with a smile, turning the charm on when needed, “I have to go, I’ll see you later” he said as he continued walking, not stopping for even a second. “Fucking whores,” he said softly and I heard Jim let out a chuckle, “What they’re not?” he asked with a smile.
“No they are, that’s why I’m laughing.”
“I don’t know what it is man that makes these whores think I’d fuck them” he said as he stopped at the stage, “I wouldn’t even fuck them for money” he laughed. Except he would fuck them, in fact the girls he does fuck every night are pretty big whores. I mean they kind of have to be they are groupies. He acts like he’s above that and he only will date good girls, that’s such bullshit. Well, I guess it’s true, he will only date good girls. But he’ll let any whore suck his dick. And he will proceed to hook up with the groupies when he’s on tour, whether he has a girlfriend or not. There goes that whole making a career out of being a good guy with a broken heart who would never in his life cheat on a girlfriend.
Justin grabbed a shot glass of tequila from the table in front of him and held it up. He also is quite an alcoholic. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t call him an alcoholic, I don’t know all the signs. What I do know is that he cannot go onstage without at least a shot of tequila before he goes on and one while he’s on stage. I also know he parties after pretty much every show, but I’m not one to judge. At least he’s smart enough not to drive “Good luck, Good show, Now fuck, let’s go” he gave his toast, the same as it had been every night for the past year, threw back the tequila, quickly placed a lime in his mouth, slammed the glass back on the table and got in position to start the show.
As soon as the little elevator thing goes up on stage it’s my cue to go back to his dressing room where Ayden was now waiting. “Sari!” she shouted as she ran over to me.
I picked her up while Rob, another one of Justin’s security guards left the room. We trade off with Ayden, although I’m the one that watches her the most. Ayden is Justin’s three and a half year old daughter. Most people don’t know he has a daughter, in fact there are only a handful of people that do. Justin didn’t even know he had a daughter until two years ago. I wish there was a nice story about it, like he was married to the love of his life and she sadly died in labor. But there’s not. He got one of his groupies pregnant while he was dating Cameron Diaz. The mother realized a baby doesn’t fit into her partying lifestyle and wanted nothing to do with Ayden, so she gave her to Justin. When I say gave, I mean she told him she had his child and he had to take her and she was planning on selling the story to the tabloids.
Justin, being the great guy he is, did not want his baby to live with such a crazy mother so he decided to give her the life she could never have by taking her in. OK, that’s how I like to imagine it went. Really, it was more like him not wanting to ruin his career so he took Ayden in and paid the groupie millions to shut her up.
He could be an amazing father, there are moments where he is a great father. But unfortunately, there are many more moments where he is a horrible father. It’s not like he does anything wrong, it’s just that he doesn’t act like a father, he doesn’t spend time with her, and he goes about his business as if she doesn’t even exist. You would think after getting a groupie pregnant you would maybe slow down with the whole fucking random groupies but I guess that is just too much common sense for him.
“Let’s get Daddy’s things together babe,” I said as I put her down and went around the room picking up the clothes that he threw all over the room. I closed the windows that Rob must have opened to air out all the smoke when he brought Ayden in.
Ayden lay down on the couch and I turned on Barney for her to watch while she falls asleep. This is the time where she’s so tired that she falls asleep almost as soon as her father gets onstage. It’s the one time all day that I have to actually enjoy silence and relax a little. She is completely out of control most of the time and so is her father. I fell like I’m babysitting two of them most days. I finished getting all of Justin’s things together and took a deep breath before grabbing a bottle of water and sitting down on the couch and pulling Ayden into my arms. She really is so adorable and such a good kid, I’m just waiting for Justin to figure it out.
The silence did not last long, it never does. Justin came into the room, loud as all hell waking Ayden up, like he always does. She doesn’t care though, she just wants to see her Daddy. It’s only the second or third time she’s seen him all day.
“What’s up baby girl?” he asked as he picked her up and kissed her forehead before placing her back in my arms as he went into the bathroom to change. This is the time where he’s actually a good father. The short amount of time after the show where the alcohol is wearing off and the high has been replaced by the feeling of being on stage in front of thousands. This is the time where he’s happy and a good person and he actually cares about some people other then himself. It doesn’t last long though, it’s only the time between the show and the party back at the hotel or on the bus.
“How was she?” Justin asked as he picked her up again. She was trying to stay awake but her little eyes were just too tired she couldn’t keep them open.
“Perfect.”
“Of course,” Justin smiled, “Are you ready?”
I stood up and grabbed on to Ayden’s bag and followed Justin out to his bus. During the tour I had my own bus, well my own bus that I shared with Ayden. Justin couldn’t have her on his bus because then he couldn’t have the groupies, although the reason he told me was because he needed to get his sleep and she’d keep him up all night. I don’t know if he realizes that she’s almost four and has been able to sleep through the night since he got her. Since tonight was the last show of the tour, we took his bus back to the house. I live in the guesthouse. At times it’s kind of annoying but at least I’m not in the same house as him and he has to actually walk across the yard to get to me. He’s too lazy to do that so it usually doesn’t happen. He’ll just call me but I’m a pro at ‘accidentally’ turning my phone off.
Once we got to his house I carried Ayden right up to her room and placed her into her bed. Justin was behind me and he kissed her forehead before following me downstairs, “Do you need help with your bags?”
“No, I got it,” I said as I rolled my suitcase through his house.
“Your pillow, I got it,” he laughed as he handed me my pillow and grabbed my two suitcases and led me to the guesthouse. He opened the door and turned on the light, “Where do you want it?”
“That’s fine there, thanks J.”
“Yeah, no problem. Thanks for everything on the tour and everything, for taking care of Ayden.”
I nodded my head, “It’s my job.”
“Yeah,” he laughed, “Well thanks. Goodnight Sari.”
“Goodnight.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he smiled before walking out of the house. I wish I saw the show tonight, maybe then I would have some idea why he is acting so abnormally nice.
I’m not going to worry about it. I’m just going to relax, take a nice warm bubble bath and thank god that tour is over so I can actually sleep a full night. I left my bags at the door and went right upstairs to turn on the bath water and grabbed a book. I brought five books with me for the tour and have yet to open one during the whole year tour. I slid my clothes off and slowly slid into the warm bath before taking a deep breath, it feels so good to be back in my house without him screaming.
“Sari?” I must have fallen asleep and I thought it was a nightmare to wake up hearing Justin’s voice calling my name, “Sari? Are you in the bathroom?”
“I’m taking a bath, what are you doing here?”
“Can I leave…” he opened the door as if he didn’t know I was in the tub, naked, covered only by some bubbles.
“Justin!”
He laughed, “Relax, I’m not looking.”
“Can you shut the door and I’ll get out?”
“Yeah,” he shut the door with him still inside.
“Justin! Get out!”
He laughed some more, “Relax.” He got out of the bathroom and I quickly jumped out wrapping my robe around myself.
“You can’t just come in while I’m in the bath.”
“I can’t? it’s my house.”
“I’m in the bath Justin, I’m naked.”
He shrugged and smiled, “It’s still my house.”
I rolled my eyes, “What do you want?”
“Can I leave Ayden here for the night?”
“Are you serious? Justin it’s like midnight, she’s already asleep.”
“I know, I know but I got some people coming and I don’t want to wake her up.”
I took a deep breath, I hate when he does that. He needs a night just to go to bed like a normal person at a normal hour. He needs a night where he doesn’t party and get drunk off his ass so he can spend tomorrow with his daughter instead of sleeping through the day.
“Please?” he asked with those big blue eyes staring down at me.
I nodded my head.
“You’re a lifesaver. Thank you.”
“Yeah,” I rolled my eyes and walked into the spare room where Ayden was already sleeping. It is pretty much Ayden’s room, I mean she spends more nights in here than she does in her own room, “Just be careful Justin.”
“I’m always careful,” he said with a smile.
“Are you really?”
“I am,” he laughed, “I got a whole drawer of condoms.”
I took a deep breath, “What makes you think I want to know about that?”
“You said be careful.”
“You’re obnoxious. Go so I can go to sleep.”
“I should get you flowers or something.”
“Yeah, leave me alone.”
