I was afraid to open my eyes when I woke up after the little amount of sleep I actually got. Maybe, if I keep my eyes closed, Ayden will come and wake me up in a few minutes. She’ll jump around on my bed or start singing one of her father’s songs. And I’ll open my eyes with the biggest smile on my face. I will never complain of her waking me up again. In fact, I’ll be thankful that she chose to wake me up instead of her father.

            I’ll take better care of her. I’ll keep her safe and protect her from the scary men as she put it. Maybe it was all a nightmare. Is it even possible to take a little girl away from her family and put her in a foster home with strangers?

            Maybe if I open my eyes I’ll see it was just a dream. I’ll be in my bed and Ayden will be next door, sleeping safely. Or she’ll be in the kitchen with her father eating cereal and humming peacefully.

            I took a deep breath and said a silent prayer that she was still here, somewhere, before opening my eyes. I’m on the couch. That’s not a good sign. I stood up quickly and ran to her room, Ayden wasn’t there. I looked across the hall in Justin’s room. He was lying on his stomach, half of his body falling off the bed, with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor below him. That bottle was full last night when he went up. I really can’t baby-sit him right now.

            My eyes started watering as soon as I realized it wasn’t a nightmare. Ayden really is not here. The tears flowed faster and I went downstairs to get away from the sleeping Justin. Quickly, I made coffee and grabbed Justin’s laptop. I sat down at the kitchen table ready to do research. There has to be a way we can get her back, without waiting two weeks for the stupid court date.

            I grabbed my cell phone from the counter and called Justin’s lawyers. They have to have some idea as to what’s going on, even though they seem to be helpless. They answered after three rings, “Hi, this is Sari. I’m looking into ways we can get Ayden quicker. Like there’s gotta be some way right?”

            “We don’t work for Mr. Timberlake anymore.”

            “What? No, he was just upset.”

            “He let us go, you were there.”

            “He wasn’t thinking straight. Of course you’re not fired. We need you.”

            “Well, he thinks he can find someone else to do our job let him go find them.”

            I took a deep breath, “Are you seriously worrying about your pride right now? He was upset.”

            “Then he can call us and apologize. Don’t waste my time Sari.”

            He hung up on me! He fucking hung up on me! As if Justin fired him for something minor and we’re not talking about a fucking three-year-old girl who I’m sure is currently crying her eyes out.  The thought made me cry again.

            I took another deep breath; I don’t know what to do. Do I really have to start interviewing lawyers? I wonder if Justin called his mother. I can’t do it. I can’t be the one to tell her.

            I sat in front of that computer doing research until 8o’clock that night. It was still stormy and dark I didn’t even realize the day had come and gone.  When I saw the time I decided I should go and check on Justin, at least to make sure he’s still breathing.

            He hadn’t moved from the position he was in when I went up that morning. “Justin,” I called softly. I sat down on the ground next to the bed and reached up to rub his back, “Justin, you should really wake up.”

            I saw one eye open. He opened the other and looked at me for a few seconds, without saying anything or even moving his head and then closed his eyes again.

            “Justin, it’s like eight o’clock at night. You should get up and have something to eat. Then you can go right back to bed.” I know I shouldn’t be talking about eating since I haven’t had anything all day.

            His eyes opened again and I saw that look on his face like he was ready to throw up. I know that look too well with his drunk ass. Luckily I managed to get the trashcan in front of him before he threw up all over the ground and me.

            “OK, then” I stood up and grabbed the empty bottle of Jack. “I’ll be downstairs making something to eat. I could really use your help with all of this.”

            I’m not good with puke, so I decided to let him take care of himself. It’s a good thing; if I stayed there any longer I would have been throwing up with him. I can’t believe he got himself so drunk after last night that he’s not even going to be able to do anything about it. This is a whole day wasted that we could have done something. What am I saying? Of course I can believe it.

            I grabbed a frying pan and put some bacon in it, if I know Justin the smell of bacon will get him up.

            I was right; Justin came downstairs as soon as the bacon was done. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of sweatpants. He scratched his stomach, went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer, then sat down at the kitchen table. I pushed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him, “Don’t you want some coffee?” Justin shook his head and took a sip of his beer.

            He looks horrible. I’m sure I look horrible too but his hair is all messy, his face has stubble growing all over the place. His face just looks different, like there’s something missing. I guess because there is something missing.

            I bit at my lip, wondering if I should be the one to mention Ayden or if he would. “Did you call your mother?”

            Justin didn’t look up at me, he pretended he didn’t hear me and continued cutting up his egg. A minute passed before he answered me, “No.”

            “You have to call her.”

            “I’m not calling her,” he looked right in my eyes, “You call her.”

            “There is no possible way that I am calling your mother.”

            Justin took a sip of beer and then grabbed a piece of bacon in his hand, “I’m not going to fight with you Sari.”

            I took a deep breath, he’s acting like I’m the one causing all the trouble. “You need to call your lawyers.”

            “I don’t have lawyers, I fired them.”

            I can’t believe this is happening, my head fell to my hands, “Justin, you can’t fire them, you need them.”

            “I don’t fucking need them! They’re fucking useless. I’d do better if I were representing myself.”

            “Be serious Justin, they already know everything about before. Like with her mother and the seven million.”

            “I just fucking woke up Sari, give me a fucking minute before you start nagging.”

            “Ayden is with strangers! Do you even fucking care?” I screamed. The thought made the tears stream down my face.

            “Of course I fucking care. Don’t give me that shit.” Justin stood up and went back to the fridge to get another beer. “Stop fucking crying, I can’t even think.”

            I took a deep breath and managed to stop crying for at least a minute. “Why are you drinking so much?”

            Justin looked like he was going to punch me in the face. He turned red and was fuming; I could almost see the smoke coming from his ears. “They took my daughter away, I can’t have a drink?”

            “You can have a drink. It’s 8 o’clock at night and you just woke up and you’ve already had like seven drinks.”

            He took a deep breath and counted the cans in front of him, “One. Two. Seven Sari? Or two?”

            “You’ve been up for ten minutes.”

            He took a deep breath, “You nag like you’re my fucking wife. Stop.”

            I stood up and poured myself another cup of coffee. I guess I probably shouldn’t be nagging him. But he’s not doing what he should be doing, especially since his little daughter is living with strangers, scared out of her mind. I started crying again.

            “Good God Sari! Quit it!” he threw a piece of toast at me.

            “Can you please call your mother? And then I will shut up. Just your mother. And then tomorrow I’ll call for new lawyers. But please just call your mother.”

            Justin shook his head before answering softly, “I can’t.”

            “What do you mean you can’t?”

            “Just like you can’t call my mother, I can’t! I can’t be the one to tell her.”

            I watched him carefully as he looked at his plate. He stood up and grabbed another beer before sitting down again. “You need to tell her though, she could help. And she’ll kill you if she finds out from a magazine or Entertainment Tonight.”

            Justin looked up at me for the first time and I noticed his eyes were already starting to glaze over. I don’t know if he was ever sober, based on the fact that he drank that whole bottle of Jack last night.

            “Why can’t you call her?” Justin asked me softly.

            “She’s not my mother.”

            “You call my mother and I’ll call yours.”

            “Yeah, sure,” I laughed, “Why are you afraid of your mother?”

            “Why are you?”

            “I’m not, I just don’t think I should be the one to tell her.”

            Justin stood up and went to the refrigerator to grab two more beers, “Figure it out Sari,” he headed towards his room and stopped when he got to the stairs, “We need more beer!” he called out.

            My head fell to the table. How can he just go to bed and leave me to be the one to deal with all of this by myself? I shouldn’t be surprised, but for some reason I thought he’d be different when his own baby was taken away. I started crying again, I can’t stop thinking about Ayden. Her little blue eyes full of tears, her tiny fingers gripping at my shirt. I shouldn’t have let her go. I should have sent Justin downstairs to talk to them and snuck out the back with her. I don’t care if it’s child abduction or kidnapping, it would have been worth it.

            Maybe when this whole thing is over I can get custody.  I mean, I don’t know what I’ll do if they call me up as a witness. How can I stand up there in front of all those people and say Justin is a wonderful father? But I’m sure he’s better than Ayden’s fucking mother. It can’t be possible those are the only choices.  At least with Justin she has me, and Justin’s mother.

            I need to call Justin’s mother. I can’t put it off any longer.  It makes no sense that I’m the one that has to call her. I’m not even going to be able to tell her, I know I’m not.  I dialed the number slowly and listened carefully as it rang, praying for it to go right to voicemail so I could tell her to call Justin as soon as she gets it. Although, he’d probably just give me the phone anyway. 

            “Hi sweetie, how are you doin?” her soft southern drawl spoke.  Just hearing her voice made me cry, I couldn’t even speak, “Sari?” now she’s worried, her voice got really tense, “Sari, hunny, what’s wrong? Is it Justin?”

            I shook my head, but couldn’t speak. “No,” I managed to get out between sobs.

            “Ayden?” she took my silence as a yes, “What is it? What happened? Is she ok? Sari, please tell me.”

            “They took her.”

            “Who?” she screamed, now she’s crying too, “Who took her? Did you call the police sweetie? What happened?”

            I took a deep breath, I need to just say it, there’s no use in getting her more worked up than she is.  “Child Services took her. They said the mother wants custody and there’s a hearing in two weeks.”

            “Two weeks?” she shouted, “That’s absurd. Where are Justin’s lawyers?”

            “He fired them.”

            “What?” she screamed, “I’m coming, I’ll be on the next flight.”

            “Thanks,” I answered softly.

            “Where is Justin?”

            “In bed.”

            She took a deep breath, “Why didn’t he tell me?”

            “He couldn’t.”

            “I’ll be there in the morning sweetie. I’ll call when I get in.”