I heard the front door open and close when it was still dark out. I looked at the clock to see it was six o’clock in the morning and wondered why the sun decided not to shine for the second day in a row. Justin must have left to pick up his mother, I’m surprised that he didn’t make me go, although I know he’s still scared of his mother so that may be why. I feel a lot better knowing she’s here. If anyone can make Justin get his act together it’s her.

            The coffee was brewing and I went back to sit on the couch, or my bed for the past two nights. I knew as soon as Justin’s mother came we would get right to business, so I stood up again and decided to make pancakes. They walked in a few minutes later. Justin went right upstairs to his room and Lynn came into the kitchen. She sighed when she saw me, offering a weak smile, before giving me a hug only a mother can give.

            “Are you doing alright sweetie?” she asked me.

            I shrugged, unable to hold in my tears while actually seeing her. She cried too, but only for a second, before telling me not to cry. She told me she would find the “best darn lawyer in the world” to figure this out and I had nothing to worry about. We ate pancakes when Justin came down a few minutes later, handing his mother a pile of business cards he had received over the years.

            She waited until we all finished our breakfast to speak again, “Justin, clean yourself up and then clean this place up. I’m fixing to call about lawyers and I’ll have them come over today, you can’t have this house looking like it does,” that’s my fault; I haven’t exactly been cleaning like I should have been. Justin stood up and grabbed the empty plates automatically, placing them in the dishwasher. How does she get him to do whatever she says? “Sari, sweetie, call Child Services and find out if Justin can meet with this girl, what’s her name Justin?”

            “Amber.”

            “Amber. Try for tomorrow, and find out if there’s any way we can move up the court date. Let me know when you hear something, and I’ll do the same.” Lynn said as she stood up and walked to Justin’s office.

            Justin stood by the sink, waiting for his mother to leave, before pouring bourbon into his cup of coffee. He looked at me while he swirled the mug in his hand, “Aren’t you going to call?”

            I nodded my head, walking out of the room.  He is worrying me with all his drinking. Maybe I’m overreacting, he did just get his daughter taken away and he’s always been a pretty big drinker. I just don’t want him turning into an alcoholic after all of this, that is if he hasn’t already.

            He caught me watching his as he chugged the whole glass and then poured himself another, “Want some?” he offered.

            I shook my head, “No.”

            “Then go call.”

            Justin’s mother found a lawyer who came to the house that night, asking questions and trying to understand what happened. This new lawyer, Gabe Coulter, seems to know what he’s doing and he has a very impressive resume. I hope he can do what we need him to do. I was able to set up the meeting with Amber, although I was hung up on when I asked if we could have Ayden there. I wasn’t trying to be selfish, although I did need to see her. There was a chance that seeing Ayden with Justin would make everyone see that he’s not a horrible father. Especially after all this, I know he would be great.

            “You have to come in with me Sari,” Justin said softly as we walked into the Child Services office, “You have to calm me down, I’ll fucking kill her.”

            “And then you’ll be in jail and you still won’t be able to see Ayden. Just relax and don’t make a scene. You need to look like the normal one, let her act crazy.” I tried to comfort him, but judging by that look in his eyes I know there is no possible way he will remain calm and collect through this whole meeting with Ayden’s birth mother. I can’t call her just the mother, because no mother would do what this lady has done.

            “Mr. Timberlake, you can follow me,” an officer said the second he opened the door.

            “Thank you sir,” Justin said, turning up the charm and manners as needed. He’s good at charming people; I just hope they all fall for it.

            I definitely wasn’t surprised when we were led into an empty room. The officer told us Ayden’s birth mother- Amber Watts- hadn’t arrived yet. It’s good to know her name so I don’t have to refer to her as Ayden’s mother because she sure as hell isn’t.

            We sat in silence at a conference table for what seemed like hours. I tapped my fingers, a nervous tendency, until Justin told me to stop. He tapped his foot against the chair the whole time and popped his lips, but I refrained from telling him he was doing the same. It was forty-five minutes later when she walked in.

            She was short, maybe five foot three at the most, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a white wife beater. Her blonde hair was down to her shoulders but looked like it hadn’t been combed in weeks. I immediately looked over at Justin, wondering how drunk he must have been to actually sleep with her in the first place; she was definitely not his type. I looked back at her, there were dark circles under her eyes, either she hasn’t slept or she’s on something, I would tend to go with the latter.

            A man, I’m assuming to be her lawyer, came in behind her, followed by Justin’s new lawyer his mother found. Each of them took a seat next to their client while three other people in suits sat down in the middle, and two stood to the side.

            Justin glared at Amber; she did not make eye contact even once. Instead she looked down at the table or at the door, looking for an escape. She did look at me, eyeing me over, before turning her gaze back to the table in front of her.

            “Did you run out of money?” Justin was the first to speak. He was shooting daggers at her with his eyes.

            Amber didn’t answer right away; instead she looked at her lawyer.

            “Mr. Timberlake,” one of the men in suits spoke up, “I’m Bob Collins,” he continued to introduce himself and his duty but Justin couldn’t care less.

            “That’s great,” he broke in holding his hand up to the man before glaring at Amber once again, “Can you answer my fucking question?”

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” was her response.

            “Alright,” Justin nodded his head, getting more tense by the second, “Play dumb. Or are you stoned enough that you don’t remember?”

            “Mr. Timberlake-“

            “Mr. Collins,” Justin answered back in the same tone, “Amber over here, was paid seven million dollars to keep her big mouth shut.”

            “That’s not true,” she answered, looking up at Justin for the first time, although never looking into his eyes.

            “We have it in writing, sweetheart,” Justin answered, leaning across the table to be closer to her, “Answer the fucking question.”

            “I just want my baby.”

            Justin laughed, threw his head back and laughed, “You just want your baby? The same baby you told me you were going to put up for adoption and wanted nothing to do with? The same baby that you dropped off at my doorstep three years ago for seven million dollars that you spent on fucking pills and powders?”

            “Mr. Timberlake, you do not know my client has ever taken any drug…” her lawyer spoke up, causing Justin to laugh again.

            “Your client has taken every drug.”

            “She’s my baby!” Amber shouted.

            “She is not your fucking baby. You gave that up. You don’t want her, you want money, you want your name in fucking magazines, you want my career ruined. You don’t give a fuck about Ayden.”

            “Of course I do, I’m her mother!”

            “You’re not her mother,” I spoke up and felt everyone’s eyes on me, “A mother doesn’t scare a little girl half to death and make her leave all she knows to go stay with foster parents just because she has an issue with the father.”

            “Says the girl pretending to be my daughter’s mother.” Amber answered with a half smile.

            I wanted to tell her I was more of a mother to Ayden than she’d ever be, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, Justin spoke, “Fuck you. You don’t know one damn thing about Ayden, she doesn’t even know who the fuck you are."

            “Mr. Timberlake, please.”

            “Don’t fucking tell me please. This bitch came into my life for one fucking night. A year later she shows up at my door telling me I have a daughter and she’s going to tell every fucking magazine in the world and make four million dollars then put the baby up for adoption. I gave her seven million dollars to shut her mouth. Then I said I didn’t want a child of mine to live in a fucking home so I’d take her in, no questions asked. Now three fucking years later this bitch comes into my life once again, and Ayden’s in a goddamn home. Tell me how any mother would do that? Any mother that wants what’s best for her fucking daughter. This girl doesn’t give a shit. She wants money, and that’s all. Ayden’s in a damn home with strangers! She sees absolutely nothing wrong with that!”

            Everyone was quiet, letting everything process. Justin was breathing heavily, a part of me wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I felt like I shouldn’t. Amber sat still, running through what she wanted to say next in her head. A few of the men wrote things down, while the rest of them watched carefully.

            “Can we see her?” I asked the question that had been running through my mind since the second we were told about this meeting. “Please, can we see her?” I looked around, not exactly sure who I should be directing my question to.

            “She’s not here.”

            “We can go somewhere, can we visit?” I asked again, my eyes starting to tear up. I tried to wipe my eyes because I know how much Justin hates it when I cry about this, but I couldn’t.

            “We’ve found that it’s harder on both the child and the parents to have multiple goodbyes.”

            “But she needs to know we care, and we’re still here, and we’re fighting for her.”

            “Who are you?” Amber shouted, “You’re his fucking assistant. Ayden doesn’t need to know you care; she doesn’t need to know you’re fighting for her. You’re not her mother.”

            I tried to stand up but Justin grabbed onto my wrist. If we were not in the police station and there were not people all around me I would have been across that table, pounding her head against the wall seconds ago.  “You’re not her mother,” Justin answered calmly, “You don’t want to be her mother. Just admit you want more fucking money and we’ll deal with that. Let me take Ayden home and we’ll work something out.”

            Why is he saying he’ll give her more money? She should not get more money. She should be executed. People like her should not be allowed to have children. There should be some sort of a law.

            “I don’t want money. I want my daughter.”

            “Well go home Amber, pop a couple more pills, smoke a little more crack and think about that. Because you know damn well that’s not what you want.” Justin pushed his chair out, “And next time don’t waste my fucking time.”

            “Please, can we see her? I’ll do anything,” I looked around the room, “I just want her to know we didn’t forget about her.”

            Amber had the nerve to laugh at me. I wish I could meet her in a dark alley sometime and give her a piece of my mind. Justin grabbed onto my hand and towed me out to his car.

            “What a fucking waste of time,” he said as he drove away, “And that crack head actually thinks she can win this.” I could see Justin look over at me from the corner of my eye. I was busy looking out the window with tears falling down my face, “She can’t win, Sari, she’s not going to win.” He put his hand on my leg to comfort me. “And you were supposed to keep me calm.”

            I let out a quick laugh, “I didn’t let you kill her.”

            “Yeah, you were about to kill her for both of us,” he laughed, “Damn girl, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

            “You should have let me go.”

            “I should have,” he nodded his head.

            “What could you have possibly seen in her? She’s disgusting.”

            Justin laughed, “I was very inebriated. She was prettier, back then, she wasn’t as fucked up. Not hot by any means, but decent. And I was cocked out of my mind so any piece of ass was a good looking piece of ass.”

            “You’re horrible.”

            “It was four years ago, give me a break,” he smiled.

            I nodded my head and looked up to meet his gaze, “Would you change it? If you could go back in time would you?”

            “Nah,” he answered right away, “Then I wouldn’t have Ayden. It’s worth it. Sure, there have been a couple speed bumps along the way, and now we got a fucking ditch, but having Ayden is worth it all. I’ll get her back. I will not let her be with that woman. Don’t worry, I promise you I will get her back.”