Luckily for everyone, the medicine that doctor gave Justin really helped him out. It’s only been a few days and already he’s like a completely new person. Don’t get me wrong, he still has his moments, but he’s been doing much better.

         “Morning,” he said as he came down the stairs and poured himself a cup of coffee.  This is a perfect example, usually he doesn’t speak, or if he does he orders me to make him breakfast while he pours some bourbon into his coffee. I’m glad he’s over that, and I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I hid all the alcohol in my house.

         “Good Morning.”

         “Do you want to do something today?” he asked sitting down across from me.

         I wouldn’t be surprised if my mouth dropped open, “What do you have in mind?”

         “I don’t know, I’m just sick of living like a hermit. I need to get my mind off this shit.”

         I nodded my head, “Yeah, that’s good. I just need to run some errands,” I want to go see Ayden quickly. That’s the truth, but I’m not supposed to tell him that.

         “I’ll come.”

         “Oh no, no. It’s ok. I’ll come back, I won’t be long.”

         “Alright,” he laughed, throwing his hands in the air, “How about golf?”

         I looked at him as if he were crazy, he is kind of crazy, “I don’t know how to golf.”

         “I know. I could use a good laugh.”

         I slapped his arm before standing up and pouring myself another cup of coffee, “Well, I do want to learn how to golf. But you’re not exactly a good teacher.”

         “How am I not a good teacher?” he seems insulted as he stood up to pour himself some cereal, “I’m a good teacher.”

         That made me laugh, “Justin, you like yell and throw the golf stick thingy when you don’t get it in.”

         “It’s called a club, first of all, and I only throw it when I miss it. I don’t care if you miss it, that’s better for me,” he answered with a smile, running his hands through his hair, “I can take you.”

         “Well I would hope so. You’re not going to go easy on me?”

         “I don’t go easy on anyone Sari, you’re no different,” he smiled and licked his lips before sitting back down, “What do you think, I’m going to go easy on you just because you wipe up my sweat and hide all the alcohol and buy me bean sprouts? It’s going to take a lot more than that darling.”

         “Whatever,” I laughed, “I’m going to go run my errands and you figure out what you want to do. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

         “All good, I’m all good Sari.”

         “OK, bye Justin.” he’s very flirty, I don’t know if that’s a side effect from the medication, but hell, at least he’s in a good mood. I like him being like this.  It’s something I could easily get used to. In fact, I may even be able to do my actual job instead of wishing I could just kick his ass the whole time.

         I drove to the home that Ayden’s in and waited outside for Lauren to meet me. The trial is in three days and I can’t wait. I’m not even nervous anymore because there’s no doubt in my mind that Ayden is going to get to come home. Justin’s been doing great, and I mean, even if this girl cleans herself up Justin is totally more financially able to take care of Ayden. She doesn’t even know who her “mother” is, there’s no possible way they’d make her go with the crackhead. OK, I’m a little nervous. But Lauren makes me feel better, plus being able to see Ayden makes everything ok. I’m so glad they’re taking care of her.

         “Ahh! Sari! Sari!” Ayden screamed when she saw me, “I knew you would come back! Do I get to go home yet?”

         “Not yet hunny,” I grabbed her in my arms, “Hopefully soon. How are you doing?”

         “Good. Me and Teddy was playing Go Fish, wanna play with us?”

         “I would love to play with you,” I don’t want to let go of her though. I just need to keep thinking about how in three days she’ll be back home and then I’ll feel much better. That is of course if she gets to go home. She has to, there’s no way the judge could honestly think the crazy lady is better than Justin.

         I only got to stay with Ayden for an hour but it seemed to go by like minutes. It definitely isn’t easy leaving her, even though I know they’re taking good care of her. They all love her though, I’m pretty sure she’s their favorite and I’m not just saying that because she’s my favorite. I really hope the good Justin stays good with Ayden and he treats her like the princess she is. Especially after all this shit she’s had to go through, she better get spoiled for a real long time.

         “Finally,” I heard Justin’s voice the second I walked in the door, “Ready?”

         “Yeah, excited much? God.” I laughed as he grabbed his clubs and walked past me.  I guess it’s true that he has been moping around and hasn’t had much time out of the house. Golf always has been his escape, he always comes back relaxed and in a good mood. I’ve never actually golfed, or even gone to a field… or a course. I don’t even know what it’s called. I hope he doesn’t get mad when I suck like he did that time we went bowling. Gosh, he was screaming at me because it kept going in the gutter like I was doing in on purpose or something.

         I climbed in the passenger side of his car and he started driving before I even closed the door, “Come on!” he laughed.

         “Relax, god, you’ve gone crazy,” I laughed as I buckled my seatbelt.

         “So you’ve never played?” I shook my head, “Never? Not even mini golf?”

         “Oh no, I’ve played mini golf.”

         “How’d you do?”

         “Good I won… I mean I was playing Ayden but I did win, that’s all that really matters.”

         Justin laughed, “That’s certainly something to brag about, beating a three year old. When did you take her mini golfing?”

         “I don’t know, a while ago.”

         “Why didn’t I go?”

         “Seriously?” I actually laughed but stopped quickly when I realized it wasn’t exactly a joke, “Justin you never exactly wanted to go out in public with her.”

         He nodded his head and that look he gets when he’s zoning out covered his face. “Yeah, I really fucked her up, huh?” he asked softly.

         “No. No, not at all,” I felt the need to reassure him. I know he’s done some fucked up shit but there’s no way in the world I would consider her fucked up. She’s doing absolutely fine, despite his shitty parenting skills, “Justin seriously, you can be such a good father when you want to be and she loves you no matter what. Shit happens, and yeah you’ve messed up, but she doesn’t care. She’s still so young that she loves you no matter what, but you just need to make sure that you change. Because seriously Justin, she’s almost at the age that she’s going to figure out everything and want nothing to do with you if you treat her like shit.”

         “Yeah, I know. I don’t know what the hell was going on with that, I knew I mean I know how I need to treat her, how I want to treat her. I just let all my management get in my head. But she’s so great because of you Sari; I mean dammit if it weren’t for you she’d be a real terror. I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you manage to calm her down. And she loves you so much, it’s like you’re her mother. I was worried when I first got her because I knew she needed a mother but I knew her real mother was not the kind that she deserved. But as soon as she came home you turned on your motherly quality and have really taken the part. From the first day, I was so fucking scared and I came back home and you were there and you set her room up and you got all her shit together. When my mom left Ayden started crying, do you remember that?” he stopped to laugh, “I was so fucking scared, I had no idea what to do and you just picked her up and she stopped crying.”

         I nodded my head and smiled but I feel like I’m about to cry, “Of course I remember that. You were so funny because you were like scared of this little adorable girl.”

         “I didn’t want to break her, she was so precious and tiny I thought I’d do something and snap her in half.”

         “That’s right!” I laughed with him, “Do you remember when you had to burp her and you were afraid to like hit her back to get it out? You were so cute, you were scared of everything.”

         “Did you just call me cute Sari?” he asked with a crooked smile as he pulled into the parking lot of the golf course.

         “No,” I answered quickly even though he was adorable with her when he first got her. I don’t know when it started getting bad; he was so into in at the beginning.

         “OK,” he laughed, “This is me saying thank you for all your help with her. I know that if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have made it.  So thanks, you’ve put up with a lot of shit. I’m going to go back to the good… you know taking care of her and shit. This has been a wakeup call and as soon as she comes back I’m going to be the best damn father anyone’s ever had.”

         I smiled, “Good.” I actually believe him. The way he said it, with that gleam in his eye like he’s really going to try harder and he knows how hard it is, but he’s finally ready to appreciate how great his little daughter is.

         “Yeah, and if I don’t just slap me, alright?”

         “No, I’m taking her and leaving,” I laughed as I followed him to the trunk to get the clubs out.

         “You know, I actually couldn’t stop you. Ayden would be much better of with you.”

         “Don’t say that,” now he’s got me feeling bad, “You’re her father, what’s up with you and all the emotional stuff?”

         He laughed, “You don’t like it?”

         “No, not really. It worries me.”

         “It worries you?” he gave me that crooked smile again, for the record that’s the smile he uses on the covers of magazines to see millions of copies.  “Let’s go to the driving range first and practice.”

         “Practice could work,” I followed behind him until he stopped at the driving range.

         “Ok, so you stand and you put the ball down and you want to hit it with this part right here,” he pointed to the club trying to give me a professional lesson. I’m not exactly planning to be a professional but he’s trying so I’ll let it go, “Line you feet up, bend a little, pull back and then swing.”

         He acts as if it’s so easy, and for him clearly it is, the ball went much further than I’m going to be able to hit it, in fact it went further than mostly everyone that is hitting.

         “You’re turn,” he smiled and held the club out for me.

         I took a deep breath and grabbed it from his hands, “OK, so I hold it like this and stand like this and just pull it back and…” I did swing, but the ball didn’t exactly go flying out hundreds of feet into the sky. At least I don’t think it did, I don’t know where it went. Justin’s laughing woke me from my thoughts, “What?”

         “It went so far you didn’t even notice,” he’s still laughing as he pointed to the ground where my ball was still sitting untouched. “Try again, this time watch the ball.”

         “Alright,” I nodded my head before pulling the club back and I actually hit the ball this time! So what if it only went two feet? I hit that, that’s an accomplishment for me. Justin had stopped laughing for the second I hit the ball but he started up again, “you said you wouldn’t laugh.”

         “I did not. In fact, I said I could use a good laugh. You’re doing fine, you just need to give it more power. Go ahead, set up to shoot it again, I’m going to help you.” I did as I was told and he stood behind me, wrapping his arms around me so he could hold the club too. It felt a little weird, he’s never been this close to me, “Go ahead, you pull back and hit it real hard.”

         It actually went far, I’m not completely delusional I know it was all Justin. “We hit it! That was good.”

         “See that? Real good. Now you do it yourself.”

         I laughed, “You’re taking this teacher thing too seriously. It’s not going to go that far.”

         “Try it, Miss Glass Half Empty. Give it more power.”

         The ball didn’t go nearly as far as it did when Justin helped me but it did go kind of far. We played that the driving range for about an hour but then the paparazzi showed up so we didn’t get to go on the actual course. I was a little relieved because there’s no way I’d actually be able to get it in the hole. We’d be there all day.

         “Want to go swimming?” Justin asked as we walked into his house.

         “Yeah, it’s hot. I’ll meet you out there,” I walked through his house and into the guesthouse. I surprisingly have had a fun day. I really hope he stays like this and doesn’t go back to the crazy Justin. When I walked out to the pool Justin was just jumping in, “How is it?”

         “Nice, it feels good just jump in.”

         I threw my towel on a chair and stepped out of my flip-flops before diving in. It does feel real good; it’s been so hot here the past few days. “Yeah, it’s nice. It’s been so hot huh?”

         “Yeah,” he nodded his head, “Come over here, you can see the sun set, and it’s real pretty.”

         I swam over to him; it is a real pretty view from up here. That’s one of my favorite parts of living here the view from my bedroom, not that I get to actually take it in very often.  “You have such a cool view.” We both turned around, leaning our backs against the edge of the pool quietly, “So are you nervous about the trial?”

         “Nah, well I mean a little I guess. I just can’t wait to see her. I wish they let us see her, I mean I wish we could just go and make sure she’s all right. I really worry about that.”

         “She’s fine.” I tried to reassure him without giving too much away, “I’m sure she’s fine, they have to be taking care of her.”

         “Yeah, I just hope they’re treating her good and letting her read her books or play with her dolls.”

         “Don’t worry about her, I’m sure she’s fine.”

         “Yeah.” He answered looking into space and continued a minute later, “Yeah, I just wish I could see her, ya’know?”

         I nodded my head; I know exactly what he’s going through, especially since I was going through it a few days ago. But now I know that she’s doing great. I wish I could tell him but I’m not exactly sure how he’ll react.  “You’ll see her soon.”

         “Yeah. Thanks a lot, really I can’t say it enough.”

         “It’s ok, I’m glad I could help. I’d do anything for her.”

         “I know,” he answered before moving his head closer to mine and, ok he’s kissing me. He’s definitely kissing me. I need to push him away… but he’s a real good kisser and I haven’t been kissed in a real long time. Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like this before.

         “Justin…” I managed to pull away, even though I definitely didn’t want to, but I know we should not be kissing right now, or ever for that matter.

         “I know,” he pulled away, looking into the water, “I’m sorry I just… I don’t know I’m, I’m sorry. Really.”

         “No it- it’s ok, I just…”

         “No, I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry,” he looked into my eyes this time.

         “It’s ok, I’ll just… I’m really tired so I’m just going to go in and get washed up and…”

         “Yeah, yeah me too. I’ll see you tomorrow or something.”

         “Ok, thanks,” did I really just thank him? “I mean today, I had fun so…”

         “Yeah, yup. Me too, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

         We both grabbed our towels and went opposite ways to our houses. What just happened? OK, obviously what just happened is that Justin kissed me. More importantly what happened is that I kissed him back, and I swear to god I saw fireworks. I couldn’t have seen fireworks. It must have been the reflection of the light on the water. He’s Justin. I don’t like him. I hate him. He’s a pain in my ass. I’ve spent just about every day I’ve worked with him wishing he would just get lost and leave me alone. Why did I kiss him back? Why the hell did I see fireworks?

         Now I’m going to hide out in here until I can’t hide out anymore. It’s my turn to be the hermit because it’s going to be awkward. How am I going to deal with the awkward shit when I have so many other things to deal with? God, what is wrong with me?