“Sari! Sari!” I woke up to hear Ayden screaming my name and jumping on the bed.

            “Good morning sweetie.”

            “I’m hungry! Let’s go wake up Daddy and get breakfast!” It’s not even weird to her anymore that she is sleeping in the guesthouse. You would think she would wonder why she isn’t in her bed or waking up her father when she’s hungry instead of his assistant. She stays here with me in the guesthouse more than she stays in the mansion across the yard with her father.

            I really doubt that Justin does not have beer cans and naked girls all over his house so I don’t think going into the house with Ayden would be the best idea. “How about we go out for breakfast? And then we can go to the grocery store and get some food for later.”

            “OK, I go wake Daddy.”

            “No, let’s let Daddy sleep,” I got out of bed and grabbed Ayden in my arms and brought her to get changed.

            “But I want Daddy to come.”

            “I know, but we need to let him sleep so maybe we can do something extra fun later.” I should not have said that because he tends to disappoint with those things.

            We got dressed and walked through the yard.  I saw Justin passed out on the couch and even though there were no girls in sight I still do not think Ayden should see her father like that so we walked around the house to get to the driveway.

            When we got to the restaurant I helped her out of the car seat and held her hand as we walked inside. “We’ll have two hot chocolates with extra whipped cream.” I said as I helped her into her seat. 

            “Guess what?”

            “What?”

            “Can we go swimming?”

            “When we get back. What do you want for breakfast?”

            “Scrambled eggs!”

            “OK, relax hunny.  Are you sure? They have those alien pancakes here.”

            Her mouth dropped open and she nodded her head.

            The waitress came over and Ayden spoke up before she could even put the hot chocolate on the table, “I want the alien pancakes.” I gave her a look, “Please.”

            “Thank you.” I smiled, “I’ll have the western omelet please.”

            “No problem, your daughter is adorable.” The waitress said with a smile as Ayden buried her face into the whipped cream.

            I smiled, “Thank you.” It’s just too much work to tell them she’s not my daughter.  Everyone always thinks she’s my daughter, probably because she’s with me more than she is with her own father. I don’t think we look much alike besides the blonde hair and blue eyes but people always seem to think we’re like twins.

            After we finished eating we went to Whole Foods to stock up the refrigerator.  Justin was still sleeping on the couch when we got home and Ayden went right into the living room. “Ayden, come back over here.” I whispered.

            “How come Daddy’s sleeping on the couch?”

            “He must have been watching a movie and he fell asleep.”

            “Yeah, cause there’s soda cans on the floor.”

            “Ok, you need to leave him alone sweetie, go get your bathing suit and towel and sunscreen while I put the things away.” He really has beer cans on the floor in front of him while his daughter is in the house.

            Sometimes I want to just slap some sense into him.  He’s such a dumbass. At least there are no naked girls in the house, it could be worse.  I finished putting everything away and went upstairs to get Ayden’s things before going back to the guesthouse to get changed.

            I was lying on a lounge chair with Ayden on my lap reading a story about bugs.  She absolutely loves bugs so much so that it’s almost weird. If she sees a bug she has to touch it. I can get Ayden to sit quietly if I talk about bugs, or if I read.  She loves to be read to. So if you put the two together it’s like the easiest part of the day.

            “Guess what Sari?” she asked as she played with my fingers and rested her head against my stomach.

            “What Ayden?”

            “Scorpions don’t needa eat for a year.”

            I laughed as I fixed her hair, “I know that’s pretty cool isn’t it?”

            “Mmhmm. They’re my favorite.”

            “What are?”

            “Scorpions.”

            “Scorpions?” I couldn’t help but giggle, “Yesterday you said spiders were your favorite because they make a web.”

            She was quiet for a minute like she was really pondering how she could have two favorites. I can’t believe she’s not even four yet and she’s so smart. “Well…. Maybe I can have a new favorite every day.”

            “You know what, I think that’s a great idea.”

            The smile on her face gets so big when you give her a compliment. She’s so adorable. I really wish I could just steal her and get her away from Justin. I know that’s horrible to say but seriously she’d be so much better off without him.

            “Can we go wake Daddy now so I can tell him about my favorite bug?”

            It is almost two o’clock in the afternoon. Justin really doesn’t have an ounce of maturity on his body. How does any father sleep until two o’clock when he has a three and a half year old daughter? It doesn’t happen. Well it shouldn’t happen. “Let’s give him a little more time.”

            She let out a sigh and sat up, “I wanna go swimming!”

            My cell phone started ringing and every time it goes off I cringe a little. Even though I think Justin is extremely irresponsible by sleeping all day, it does make my job much easier when I only have to worry about babysitting the actual baby. “We’ll go swimming when I get off the phone ok?” she nodded her head and grabbed onto the book while I answered.

            “Hello?”

             “Hi Sari sweetheart, how are you doing?” from the first word I could tell it was Justin’s mother. I always love talking to her.  She is seriously the nicest woman in the world. Whenever she is around Justin he’s like a totally different person.  Unfortunately, she hasn’t been around in a while. But even when she calls and talks to Justin she somehow manages to knock him into place at least for a little while. I wish she would give me some hints about how she does it.

            “I’m good, how are you? I haven’t talked to you in awhile.”

            “Great, I’m great. Is Justin with you? He isn’t answering his phone.”

            “Yeah, well he’s sleeping.”

            “He’s sleeping?” she just about screamed, “Sari, it’s almost two o’clock.”

            I nodded my head; she doesn’t have to tell me about that.

            “Where’s Ayden?”

            “Right here with me, we’re getting ready to go swimming.”

            She took a deep breath, “He does not know how lucky he is to have you. You are not her nanny. He should be awake. I would like to know when he plans on taking responsibility…” she stopped herself “I don’t know why I’m preaching to the choir.”

            “Are you going to come out here soon?”

            “Sure I am. It sounds like I need to.”

            I don’t want her to think that he is completely out of control.  I think it’s more like I don’t want to get him in trouble.  The tour is over I think he’ll be calming down at least a little.

            “Will you have Justin call me when he wakes up?”

            “Yeah, of course.”

            “Great Sari, thanks for everything. Can I talk to Ayden?”

            “Sure. I’ll see you soon,” I handed Ayden the phone and she just looked at me. I giggled and then she giggled because I was, “It’s Granny.”

            “Granny!” she screamed before putting the phone to her ear, “Hello, hello. I’m Ayden.” I laughed at the way she answers the phone. I will admit that is one cute thing that Justin did teach her.

            Ayden spent the next few minutes telling her grandmother all about scorpions. It is kind of funny how she’s so obsessed with bugs when her father has a heart attack if he even sees one. “OK, bye bye. Later.” She flipped my phone shut and handed it back to me. The reason why she says later at the end of all phone conversations is because of her father. I don’t know if he taught her that or if she just copies it from him.

            Justin walked out of the sliding glass doors and made his way to the pool. Not really walked out, more like dragged himself out. He looks like shit; he always looks like shit when he wakes up, especially after he’s been drinking the night away. I’m very tempted to take a picture and send it in to one of those teenybopper magazines. Those poor little girls who idolize him have no idea.

            “What’s up ladies?” he asked as he fell on the lounge chair next to me. I didn’t answer him, just looked him over. He really is disgusting.

            “Daddy!” Ayden jumped over me and on him, “Wanna go swimming? Wanna play princess? Wanna jump on the tramp-a-ween?”

            “Fuck Ayden, chill I just woke up,” Justin grabbed onto her and put her off the chair. He makes me sick. He swears in front of her like it’s nothing, he swears at her. She’s three and a half years old. One of these days she’s going to grow out of the whole loving her father because he’s her father thing and despise him.

            “I wanna go swimming Daddy.”

            “Well Daddy’s hung-over so you’re going to have to wait.”

            “What does hung-over mean?”

            “It’s when you drink…” the sad part is he’s about to tell her.

            “Justin,” I can only sit back and watch him ruin his daughter’s life to a certain extent.

            He laughed, because to him it’s the funniest thing in the world to have a three and a half year old know all about drinking and swearing. His arm moved to cover his eyes from the sunlight, “You need to go shopping.”

            “I did.”

            “Guess what Daddy? A scorpion doesn’t needa eat for a year.”

            “That’s fantastic,” he answered sarcastically. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him pretend to be interested in anything that has ever come out of his daughter’s mouth. “You need to make breakfast, I’m hungry.”

            “It’s lunchtime.”

            He took a deep breath and moved his arm away from his face so I could see him glare at me, “Then make fucking lunch, don’t be a smartass.”

            I rolled my eyes so he could see it but it doesn’t faze him.  He covered his eyes again as I stood up, “Your mother called.”

            “That’s great.”

            “So call her.”

            “Did you find out about the gardeners?”

            I shook my head, “I haven’t had a chance.”

            Once again the arm was moved away from his face so he could glare at me, “How do you not have a chance? It’s lunchtime, as you’ve reminded me.”

            “Sorry, I’ve been busy shopping for you and watching your daughter and cleaning your house and talking to your mother.”

            I could see the corners of his lips form a smirk as his arm went back to his face and I knew I was in for some attitude, “Hey, if you can’t handle your job…”

            I broke him off, “My job is not to be your slave.”

            “Do I not pay you enough? Because I’m pretty sure last time I checked I pay you a hell of a lot more than anyone else pays their assistants.”

            “It’s not about the money.” He does pay me a lot. Which is the reason why I took this job in the first place. I’m an educated person. I graduated from college. The last thing I wanted to do after getting a degree in psychology is work with a spoiled ass celebrity.  But someone told me about the job and the pay, and let’s face it there’s not too many openings for someone with a psych degree. So now three years later, here I am. Still stuck with the biggest asshole in Hollywood.

            “Then what’s it about Sari? Your inability to do what I ask you to do?”

            “I’m your assistant, I am not a nanny and a cook and a receptionist.”

            “Yes you are, my assistant assists me in everything.” Assist? When is the last time I assisted him in anything? I do everything. I assist him as in he sleeps until 2 while I watch his daughter and do his shopping.

            “No, your assistant assists you in business ventures.”

            “No, you’ve been working here for three years and you still don’t know what your job is?”

            “It changes every darn day!”

            He laughed hysterically, “Well my life changes every darn day too! Darn,” he mimicked, “Using the bad words, I can tell you’re really upset.”

            “Well sorry I don’t want to swear in front of a three year old.” Justin really has me fuming and it annoys me so much that he doesn’t even get upset.  He’s over it already. He knows he can piss me off as much as he wants and I’m not going to leave. I couldn’t leave. I want to leave more than anything sometimes but there is no possible way I could leave poor Ayden alone to fend for herself with him. No possible way.

            I walked into the kitchen to make him his damn lunch. I grabbed a package of frozen French fries and threw them on a cookie sheet before throwing it into the oven a little too violently. Justin’s hangover food is always French fries and a grilled cheese. As I grabbed the cheese from the fridge I heard Ayden banging on the sliding door.

            “What’s the matter?” I asked as she walked in.

            “Nothin’.”

            “Why aren’t you outside with your daddy?”

            “He don’t wanna play. I wanna go swimming.”

            “I know, I’ll go swimming with you after we eat ok?”

            “Oooh Kayy,” she answered softly as she climbed up on a chair and rested her head on the kitchen table.

            “Are you tired?” she nodded her head, “Do you want to take a nap first?”

            “No. Daddy said I can have a ice cream cone.”

            “He did not.”

            Her mouth dropped open in shock, “Yeah huh.”

            “Ayden.” She is three years old and already lying like her father. That makes me nervous.  She giggled when she realized she was caught and started to play with the paper on the table.

            “It’s not good to tell fibs Ayden.  You can have a push up pop after we go swimming.”

            “Guess what? A scorpion doesn’t needa eat for a year.”

            “I know that’s so cool. Do you think you could only eat once a year?”

            “Uh huh,” she nodded her head with a smile.

            “Oh, I don’t know Miss Ayden, I think that would be a little hard.”

            “I could do it though, I could.”

            I smiled as she nodded her head but the smile flew off my face when Justin stormed into the house, sliding the door shut so fast that it made a noise that echoed through the house. Ayden jumped a foot in the air.

            “What did my mom want?”

            It’s not even that he’s mad; he had no reason to come in the house like that.  But he is Justin Timberlake and he needs his presence to be known all the time.

            “She didn’t say.”

            “She didn’t say,” he repeated as he sat down next to Ayden, “Did you sleep ok babe?”

            Is it possible that he’s going to be the good Justin now? I turned away from the stove to take it all in.

            “Mmmhmm, we went to pancakes and I got aliens and that chocolate stuff with the white stuff. And it got on my face,” she giggled.

            “The white stuff got all over your face huh?”

            “Uh huh, you know what Daddy? A scorpion doesn’t needa eat for a year.”

            “I know Ayden, you’ve told me we all know,” ok it’s not the good Justin, he’s already annoyed, “Did you know if a scorpion stings you you’d die?”

            Ayden just looked at him for a second, trying to take it all in. what kind of a father tells his daughter that her favorite bug could sting her and kill her? It’s not like she has a pet scorpion or there are hundreds in the back yard.

            I gave Justin a plate and put one in front of Ayden. He laughed at the reaction he was getting from his daughter, grabbed his plate and went into the other room. I hope he’s calling his mother, not just watching television.

            “Sari, do they really make you die?”

            “No, you just have to be careful if you see one because it would hurt. But I don’t think you’d die.” She pouted her lips out like her life had just come crashing down, “Let’s just eat our lunch so we can go swimming.”

            Ayden ate her lunch quietly, now she’s really starting to second-guess her choice for her favorite bug of the day. When she finished we went in the pool and as soon as she jumped in with her life jacket on she forgot all about the scorpions and her asshole father.

            A half an hour later Justin came out in his bathing suit with a towel around his neck.  He threw the towel on a chair and jumped into the pool. Ayden giggled as he grabbed onto her feet and pulled her through the water, “You’re going to turn into a fish you’re in here so much.”

            “No suh.”

            “Yes suh,” he answered back in the same tone and laughed before looking over at me, “My mother’s coming out next week.”

            Oh thank God.

            Justin laughed, “Damn, relax you’re more excited than Ayden.”

            There is no hiding the smile that I know is covering my face. I just love it when she comes; it’s like my vacation because she makes sure Justin does his own shit.

            “I got her, you don’t have to stay out.”

            “I’m ok.” It’s the good Justin now, and when he’s the good Justin I don’t mind being around him. Don’t misunderstand me, I definitely don’t enjoy spending time with him, even when he is the good Justin, but that’s just because you never know when the bad one will come back.

            “Daddy, did you know a scorpion doesn’t needa eat for a year?” That really is her fun fact of the day. I guess that’s how she remembers, by saying it hundreds of times.

            “I had no idea Ayden. Did you know that scorpions have little claws like lobsters and they can pinch you?” he made claws with his fingers and swam towards her but she screamed and swam away. Justin laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh myself as he caught her and pinched her with his pretend claws.  “Sari did you put sunscreen on her?”

            “Yeah,” I answered him as he inspected his daughter before turning towards me.

            “You didn’t put any on yourself.”

            “Yes I did.”

            He gave me a lazy look, “You’re red.”

            I took a deep breath; I hate my damn fair skin. I could put on pounds of sunscreen and somehow I still burn.  It’s so annoying, “I guess I’ll go in then.”

            Justin nodded his head as he grabbed onto Ayden and threw her in the air.

            “I’ll call about the gardener.”

            “Whenever you get a chance, don’t worry about it,” he threw Ayden up again before looking at me, “Relax a little Sari, you work too hard.” He gave me that half smile that drives all the girls crazy. It doesn’t work for me because I know what’s underneath that smile: the devil himself.

            But I will take this chance to relax a little.  It will feel good to lie on the couch and catch up with my Tivo. I don’t know how long the good Justin is going to last so I need to take advantage of it while I can. 

            I got out of the pool and dried myself off with the towel “Have fun.”

            “Thanks Sari,” Justin answered with a smile.