It’s been three weeks since Ayden’s been back and I feel like I’ve been living in a fairy tale. Ayden’s been behaving perfectly, she’s so excited to be home. Justin has managed to say no to every single engagement his managers want him to do and hasn’t left Ayden’s side since she’s been home.
“Daddy! The sky is white cause we’re in the clouds!” Ayden looked up at her father with a smile as he held her in his lap.
“You’re right smarty pants, you remembered that from the last time we were on a plane.” Justin smiled before kissing her forehead and holding onto her tightly. “Do you remember why everything looks so small?”
“Yeah, silly cause we’re so high in the sky and it looks small. But it’s not small, it’s still big we’re just way way up high!”
“You’re smart Ayden,” Justin said as he looked across at me, “That one was all you.”
I shrugged and smiled back, I don’t really remember telling her that but I’ll take credit for it.
“I can see Granny’s house,” Justin continued as he turned his gaze back to the window, “Do you see it Ayden?”
“No suh!” Ayden giggled, “Granny’s house is big, that one’s tiny.”
“I thought everything was tiny because we’re so high in the sky.”
“Ohhhh. But Granny’s house is big even in the sky!”
Ayden’s right, Justin’s mother’s house is huge, even bigger than Justin’s. I’ve only been to the house in Tennessee a few times. Justin doesn’t go home that much, unless it’s a holiday and I’m spending time with my own family. It’s always great when Justin goes home because it’s the only place in the world that people don’t pay any special attention to him. I always thought he needed a good trip home every few months to get his head back on straight.
Now we don’t have to worry about that. I’d say Justin’s head has been on straighter than it’s ever been before. Back home it’s pure hysteria. Not only are there paparazzi camping outside of Justin’s house but there’s also actual news and reporters. Everyone is so interested in Justin and Ayden, it’s getting out of control. We’re pretty much trapped in our own home. It’s crazy because Justin’s whole reason for hiding Ayden in the first place was because everyone is so crazy and wants her picture and now it’s actually happening. They all feel so bad that everything happened but that doesn’t stop them.
We had to sneak out in the middle of the night and stay at a hotel near the airport so they wouldn’t follow us to Tennessee. I’m not sure how long it will last, but I’m praying they’ll stay by the house in LA for as long as we’re here.
As soon as the plane landed Justin grabbed Ayden and literally ran off. He acts like a little kid when he goes home, I think it’s because this is his only escape. He doesn’t have to be Justin Timberlake world famous celebrity. When he’s home he’s just Justin, that kid that lives in the house by the river with the big porch and the tractor in the yard.
I took my time and gathered up Ayden’s coloring book and crayons along with my own book before walking off the plane. Justin was twirling Ayden in the air while a couple men put the suitcases in the back of the Escalade that was waiting for us.
By the time I got to the car Ayden was already in her car seat and Justin was waiting patiently in the driver’s seat. He’s in quite the rush to get home even though he just saw his mother a few days ago. I guess it’s just the whole idea of being at his house.
“The air smells better, don’t you think?” Justin asked seriously as he turned to see my reaction.
“It smells better?”
“Yeah, fresh, clean. None of that smog crap, it’s all fresh air like we’re in the middle of the woods. We are in the middle of the woods,” he corrected himself with a quick chuckle, “You know what I mean.”
I nodded my head, “It does smell better.”
“It smells like marshmallows!” Ayden giggled from the backseat.
“Marshmallows?” I asked with a laugh. I don’t think marshmallows even smell.
“Uh huh. Marshmallows.”
“I do love marshmallows,” Justin smiled.
“Uh huh. Oh! Daddy can we make the ones on a stick in the fire? Memba when we do that here?”
“Of course, I’m sure Granny has some marshmallow’s hanging around somewhere.”
How cute is it that Ayden things Tennessee smells like marshmallows because she remembers roasting them by the fire? Too cute. Just when I think there’s no possible way she can get more adorable she goes and says something like that.
When we pulled into the driveway at Lynn’s house she came running out. I don’t know who is more excited about this trip. They all ran into each other’s arms so I thought I might as well start taking the suitcases out of the car. I took a deep breath of the fresh country air and for once understood what Justin was talking about. The air does smell better, it’s like we’re in a whole different world.
“Sari, get over here!” Lynn shouted as she placed Ayden down to run around the front yard. I walked towards her but she pulled me into a hug quickly. “I’m so glad you came. How are you doing sweetie?”
“I’m great, how are you?”
“Wonderful,” she’s just looking at me and smiling. I’m not exactly sure what Justin tells his mother but she’s definitely looking at me weird.
“Ma,” Justin called out from the trunk with a chuckle, “Don’t start.”
“I’m not starting nothing,” she said before grabbing onto my hand and walking me to the trunk so we could help Justin bring the bags in.
“Go inside, I got it.” Justin answered before literally pushing us away and giving his mother a look of warning.
I followed her inside and the smell of barbeque filled the house. Now I’m convinced that it smells better out here. I’m just about ready to move in. “How’s he been?”
“Really, really good. Like a new and improved Justin.”
Lynn laughed as she stirred the mashed potatoes, “It’s not new and improved, sweetie. It’s more like he’s back to his old self. He just got caught up in the madness; he was never really like that. You know what he was like when you started working for him. It was never that bad.”
I nodded my head, “I know.” It is true. When I first started working for Justin he was very similar to the way he’s been acting recently. I’m not making excuses for him, but as soon as his music started to explode and his management started booking him for everything possible, he started acting like the asshole. Hopefully he learned his lesson and is now able to say no.
Ayden came running through the door giggling like a hyena covered in dirt. She hid behind me as Justin came chasing after her, covered in just about as much dirt. How is it possible for two people to get that dirty in three minutes?
“Nooo!” Ayden screamed between laughter, “No! Daddy’s gonna get me! No! Sari help!”
“Don’t bring Sari into this Ayden. This is between you and me. Move out of the way Sari. I’ll go right through you.”
I held my hands up, “I’m not getting involved.”
“No Sari! Stay there! Daddy’s gonna get me!”
Justin laughed and placed a hand on either of my hips before lifting me up in one swoop and placing me a few feet away so he had perfect access to Ayden. “Now I got ya!”
“You two need to stop. Why are ya’ll so dirty?”
“Ayden decided it would be a good idea to make a mud pie.” Justin answered quickly. It’s so funny how he goes right back to being a twelve year old when his mother yells at him and starts blaming everything on his little girl.
“Not uh!” Ayden pouted and crossed her arms over her chest, “I was just makin a mud pie for Granny but then Daddy came and made one too but he threw it at me!”
I saw Justin’s mouth drop open as he watched his daughter sell him out right before his eyes. “That is not how it happened.”
“Yes sir!” Ayden answered. “I wasn’t doing nothing but then Daddy came and was being silly and said he was gonna make a big pie for Sari and then he dropped it and it made a big splash and got all over his pants. I was laughin and then he said that’s not funny and he throws mud at me!”
“I would never…” Justin answered with a chuckle.
“Yes suh Daddy! You did!”
I can’t do anything but laugh. It’s kind of amazing that little Ayden is selling out her Daddy. “It’s not funny Sari,” Justin said seriously.
“It is kind of funny,” I smiled back.
“Not really,” Justin smiled before picking up Ayden, “We’re going to get cleaned up.”
“Ya’ll better hurry. Dinner’s just about ready.”
“We’ll hurry.” Justin said as he walked upstairs, “I can’t believe you told my Mommy on me Ayden.”
“Daddy, you was getting me in trouble!”
“So you got me in trouble?”
“Yeah, cause I don’t wanna be in trouble.”
“Granny wasn’t gonna yell at you.”
I laughed as they made their way upstairs and I could no longer hear them bickering. They’re so funny. I helped Lynn finish up dinner so when Ayden and Justin came back downstairs we were ready to eat. She’s such an amazing cook, I could get used to having her cook for me every day.
After dinner Justin made a bonfire so Ayden could roast her marshmallows. I’ve been spending a lot of time just sitting back and watching them. I can’t get over how good Justin has been treating her. He held onto her tightly as she reached over to roast her marshmallow and tried to bite it off the stick before Ayden could get it. I’ve never seen either of them this happy before in my life.
“Night Sari!” Ayden hugged me tightly when it was time for her to go to bed.
“Goodnight Ayden, sleep tight.”
“I’ll be back, don’t go in.” Justin said to me before picking up Ayden and leaving me outside alone with the fire. Even the little things get me so excited. Justin never put Ayden to bed and ever since she’s been home I haven’t been able to put her to bed once.
Justin came back out awhile later, “Sorry. She needed a story.”
“It’s fine, she’s doing good.”
“Yeah, she’s doing great,” he laughed, “My mom’s watching her. Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“For a walk.” He answered as he headed towards the woods.
“In the woods?”
“In the woods. Don’t be scared. Its just a couple feet into the woods then there’s a clearing,” Justin laughed as he grabbed onto my hand, “I’ll protect you from the bears.”
“There’s so not bears.”
“Alright, whatever you say Sari.” I know he’s just teasing me. He better be just teasing me.
“Did you always live in this house?”
“No. Well we had this land. We had a small little two-bedroom shack. I knocked it down and built this one.”
“It’s huge.”
“Yeah. My mom thinks it’s too big but she’s got people visiting all the time, and when we come home we’d never be able to fit if it were any smaller. Especially later on if I got more kids and a wife and shit.”
“You want more kids?” I never really thought about it but I guess I just assumed Ayden was it for him.
“Oh yeah, a whole house full of them,” he chuckled, “I’m the only child and it sucked, Ayden needs brothers and sisters. Not now though, I’m going to do it the right way this time. What about you?”
“I want kids, of course.”
“How many?”
“As many as I can afford.”
Justin laughed, “That could be dangerous.”
“Not really.”
“You’re going to be like Angie and Brad. A little further, are you doing alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I can walk through the woods.”
“Yeah? I thought you were a city girl,” Justin answered with a chuckle. I’m hardly a city girl, I didn’t grow up in the middle of the woods like him but I definitely didn’t grow up in the city.
He stopped when the woods opened up to a huge field lit by the moonlight. “Oh my God,” I couldn’t help but say as I looked up to the sky full of stars. “I’ve never seen this many stars in my life.”
“I know it’s amazing isn’t it. You can’t see shit in LA.” he said before leading me to the middle of the field and laying down. “Come on girl, lay down with me and get a good look.”
It’s really romantic out here, which I’m sure has a lot to do with why he brought me out here. “How many girls have you taken out here Justin?”
He laughed quickly before answering, “Now you know I don’t take a lot of girls home Sari.”
“So how many girls do you take to look at the stars back in California?”
“I already told you, you can’t see shit in California.” Justin chuckled again before pulling me to his chest, “You’re acting like you don’t know me.”
“No, I’m acting like I do know you. That’s the problem.”
“You think I’m going to hurt you.” It wasn’t really a question; it was more like a statement. It’s not that I think he’s going to hurt me, but I don’t know if he’s really looking for what I’m looking for. “You think too much. You gotta just feel and go with it. I’m not going to hurt you Sari. I couldn’t hurt you if I tried.”
“I know,” I answered softly. I do know he’s not going to do anything to purposely hurt me. I also know he doesn’t do that. When he has a girlfriend he treats her amazingly. The only girls he treats like shit are the ones he just wants to have one-night stands with. Come to think of it, even those girls he doesn’t treat like shit. I supposed they have some kind of an agreement going on that sex is all that they’re there for. I’m just not like that, at all. I don’t believe in casual sex at all and I certainly would never just freely sleep around. I guess I’m old fashioned and out of date but I still think sex should be special and not something shared with random people.
“We’ll take it as slow as you want to Sari. I’m in no rush.” Justin finished and ran his hand through my hair as we laid in silence looking up at the stars.
“It is very romantic,” I spoke after awhile of silence.
“I’m romantic Sari, you’re acting like you don’t even know me.”
I turned my head so I could see that cocky smile cover his face and laughed as I rested my arm over his chest. “Yeah, so romantic. Aren’t you going to kiss me?”
He laughed at my question; “I thought you wanted to take it slow.”
“You took me all the way out here just to look at the stars? I find that hard to believe.”
“Well, of course I didn’t take you out here just to look at the stars but you kind of shot everything else to shit, huh?” he chuckled.
“I did not!” I laughed, “I didn’t say anything, you said everything.”
“Now you’re not even making sense. How many marshmallows did you have?” Justin asked with a sarcastic laugh.
I took a deep breath that only made Justin laugh harder. It’s not that funny, I don’t know why he finds everything so funny. “So we’re just going to look at the stars?”
“Yup. Just look at the stars.”
“Fine.” So it is really romantic out here and all I want is for him to kiss me. Why is that so hard? I know that’s why he brought me out here, but now he’s acting like I’m the crazy one and he just wants to look at the stars. “You’re really not going to kiss me?”
Justin laughed again before gently placing his lips against mine but pulling away way too quickly, “Just because you’re so desperate.”
He finds this whole situation absolutely hilarious but that’s fine. I’m not going to beg him to kiss me. I can play just like him. Ok, so I probably can’t because even that short, tiny kiss was amazing. He’s trying to tease me by giving me a sweet kiss then pulling away and pretending like there’s something real interesting up in the sky. I like the stars as much as the next person but it’s not like there’s a meteor shower going on or something. It’s the same thing every night. We could very easily make out a little and then look at the stars, or even come out again tomorrow night and look at the same stars in the sky.
“You’re thinking too much again.”
“Of course I’m thinking. How am I supposed to not think? Is it even possible to stop thinking? There’s no way…”
“Shh,” he pressed his lips against mine again, even though I’m pretty sure this time it was to shut me up. I don’t really care though; I’ll take what I can get. I think it’s safe to say I’m not thinking too much anymore, I’ve found the one way that can get me to stop thinking. His lips taste so good and he’s such an amazing kisser. I could seriously spend the rest of my life just kissing him and be perfectly happy.
Justin rolled on top of me deepening the kiss and slowly slid his tongue into my mouth. I massaged it with mine and now it’s official, I don’t even remember how to think. I don’t even remember my own name. Justin’s hand slid down to my pants as he rested his thumbs under the elastic of my sweatpants. Now I need to start thinking again.
“Wait, Justin wait.” I didn’t want him to stop, part of me would be completely fine with him pulling my clothes off and doing whatever the hell he wants to with me but that’s not me. I’m not that girl and I know I’d have issues for a very long time if I were to pretend to be.
“Yeah. Sorry. Slow. I’m not used to that,” he smiled before sitting up.
“It’s ok, it’s just…. I know you’re like… with girls,” I don’t know how to say it without making it sound bad, and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the way.
Luckily Justin laughed, “You know that huh? Girl, I’m cleaner than clean.”
“I’m sure you are but…”
“But… you don’t believe me. It’s cool Sari. I keep up with this shit.” He’s still kind of laughing, I hope I’m not looking like an asshole but I do know him. I’ve been working with him for three years and I know what happens after all those shows. It’s not that it worries me because I don’t think he’s still into that. I understand that it’s a phase and he’s a guy and that kind of stuff happens. But I’m not about to just go and sleep with him without him getting tested.
“It’s cool, I’m not mad. You’re thinking too much again,” he chuckled, “I’m all for being responsible and smart. I’ll go get tested, let’s do it. You’re coming with me though, and you’re doing it too.”
I laughed, it would be kind of stupid of me to make him go and not go myself. Although clearly I don’t have an STD, especially since I haven’t slept with anyone in like… years. We don’t need to worry about that. “I’ll go.”
“Fine then,” he stood up and held his hand out to help me up and then wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked back to the house, “You’re so responsible. I knew I kept you around for something. A little desperate though. I can’t believe you begged me to kiss you.”
“I did not beg you to do anything, shut up. I just don’t think you should take me out there and then act like we’re just looking at the stars.”
He laughed as he walked me to my room, “That’s all we were doing, looking at the stars.”
“Sure.”
“Sure,” he smiled as he stopped at my door. “Good night Sari, sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight Justin,” I answered softly before he slowly leaned in and kissed me again. I would love to make this kissing thing last a little longer but his mother’s room is right there and I do feel like I’m back in high school and she just might walk out and catch us.
Justin laughed after he pulled away from me, “Night Sari.”
