There are so many things going on right now that really make me question everything and feel like I’m living a completely different than that I was living even only a month ago. First of all, I’m in Tennessee, not even Tennessee, in the middle of nowhere Tennessee. I’m in a car with Justin laughing and actually enjoying myself, more so than I can even explain.  We just left his mother’s house, where we returned halfway through our date because we both missed her and wanted to read her a story and tuck her in before she went to bed. Oh yeah, and we’re on a date.

         This is the man I wanted to kill as recent as a month ago, the man who has treated me like a slave for the past three years of my life.  All right, probably more like the past two years of my life. He used to be like this. When I first started, when he first got Ayden, he was like this. Normal, funny, goofy, just the guy next door that happens to be a world famous celebrity. Obviously, something happened with that. He got caught up in all the shit and an evil took over his body for two years but he’s back, he’s back and better than ever.

         “What?” Justin’s voice woke me from my thoughts.

         “What?”

         “Nothing. You’re just quiet.”

         “Why can’t I be quiet?”

         “You can be quiet. But, I mean, we were in the middle of a conversation and you just stopped talking,” he laughed as he pulled into a parking lot.

         “Sorry,” I laughed, “I’m just thinking.”

         “You’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately,” he turned the car off and looked at me, “Good thinking or bad thinking?”

         “Good thinking, or I mean… just thinking.” I’m really not so good at hiding the fact that I’m finding this new Justin to be absolutely amazing. I need to be better at holding that in, but it doesn’t seem possible.

         “Alright,” he chuckled and threw his head down, “Ready? Next stop.”

         “Ready,” I looked up for the first time to see we were parked in front of a tiny old country house type thing, “You brought me to a shack?”

         “A shack?” he shouted with a chuckle, “This may look like a shack but the truth is it’s the best barbeque in the world. And I know what you’re thinking, Miss Realistic, but I’ve been all over the world and I’m telling you, it’s the best.”

         “I didn’t say anything.”

         “You don’t have to say anything. You’re thinking it, and don’t say you’re not because that’s all you’ve been doing is thinking,” he laughed and held the door open for me. “Real barbeque, none of that California shit.”

         He led me to a small table in the corner; one of the small tables, there’s like four tables in this whole shack. It is a shack; I don’t care what he says. It looks like something from a Food Network show about the smallest places in the world. I don’t doubt it’s good, I’m sure it is but jeez, it’s like maximum ten people capacity.

         “So, best barbeque ever?” Justin asked after we finished dinner.

         “Yes actually, I think that is the best barbeque in the world.”

         “That’s right,” he chuckled. “Last stop, are you ready for it?” I nodded my head as we walked outside, “We’re going to walk, it’s right down the street. Are you alright to walk, you’re not going to faint on me, are you?”

         I rolled my eyes, “I’m fine, thanks.” I was absolutely crazy to think that just because he hasn’t mentioned my fainting episode in the past 2 hours that he’d forgotten about it all together.

         “You’re getting all mad, I’m just making sure,” he laughed and grabbed onto my hand, “So seriously, good date so far? I’ve done good?”

         “I thought it wasn’t a date.”

         “It’s not a date.”

         “You just said, good DATE so far,” I repeated with a smirk. He’s the one that got all defensive when I said it was a date before, so I’m glad he’s calling it one now. I would not be doing our weird relationship justice if I were going to just let that slip by.

         He chuckled and threw his head down, “You’re killing me here, Sari. All right fine, it’s a date… it’s a date. Good date or no?”

         “Besides the whole first stop, I’d say so far so good.”

         “Good. Cause you’re going to hate this last stop,” he thinks he’s funny. He always thinks he’s funny and that used to piss me off and annoy me to no end. But now I think it’s kind of adorable. Ugh, I hate how he’s been making me feel recently.

         “I’m going to hate it?”

         “Oh yeah, hate.”

         “Then why are we going?”

         “Because I’m going to love it,” he chuckled again and swung my hand in his, “I need a good laugh.”

         “Why is it that every time you need a good laugh it’s at my expense?”

         “I don’t know, stop being so damn adorable and then I’ll stop.”

         What did he just say?

         “Oops,” he continued, “Over-thinking again. Yes, I said you’re adorable. Let me clear that up so you don’t go worrying about that all night and can actually enjoy yourself.”

         “I’m not,”

         “Of course not,” he broke in with another chuckle before I could finish. “Alright we’re here.”

         “We’re here?” I asked, looking at the barn type building we were standing in front of. “A barn?”

         “Yup. Shh, listen,” he whispered, “You hear that?”

         “Music?”

         “Yeah. Music. Any guesses?”

         “Are we going to a country music concert? Oh my gosh, is it Keith Urban?!?”

         “Would you shut up about Keith Urban? He’s Australian, he doesn’t even know what the fuck the real country is.” It’s kind of cute how he gets so defensive when it comes to his country music, even though he doesn’t even sing country. I bet he’s going to do a country album someday; he has to. And he obviously has some issue with this Keith Urban thing, a little jealousy I’d say. “Not a concert.”

         “Karaoke? I hate Karaoke, oh my god, it’s karaoke isn’t it? I’m not going to do it, I won’t do it.”

         “Relax,” he laughed as he led me into the barn shaped club, “I wouldn’t put these nice people through the pain of hearing you sing. This is much better.”

         I stopped in the doorway, unable to move. He’s got to be kidding.

         “Come on, you’re causing a traffic jam,” Justin chuckled and pulled me inside the square dancing club.

         “I hope we’re just watching,” I know we’re not just watching, but it’s worth a try.

         “Sure,” Justin tried to contain his laughter, “Sure, we can watch for a minute, but you know damn well I’m not going to sit back and let these people show me up.”

         “I don’t mind you dancing, I can have a drink and watch.”

         “Obviously I need a partner, Sari.”

         “You really live to annoy me.”

         “Oh come on, it’s not that bad.” He grabbed my hand again and led me to the dance floor, more like pulled because I definitely didn’t go without giving up a fight. “It’s easy to pick up, just follow my lead.”

         “Right, but I’m not a dancer and I don’t enjoy dancing so…”

         “Look, you’re not country if you don’t learn how to do some square dancing.”

         “I’m completely fine with not being country.”

         He laughed again and put my arm in his, “Don’t say that too loud, you’re going to get shot. Just calm down, follow with me. See how they’re doing it in front of us? We just do that and walk around the circle, it’s not that hard.”

         It is actually. For most people, sure, I’m sure it’s quite easy. But for me, not at all, I can’t even walk straight, forget this shit.  “I’m not having fun.”

         “Come on, we just started,” he put his arm around my waist as we walked around in a circle, well I walked around in the circle, everyone else was doing some weird steps and Justin was trying to do the ones he could without my help, “Give it a try, huh? You’ll have fun, I promise. If you hate it after three songs we’ll leave. Deal?”

         “Fine, three songs.  But you have to tell me what to do.”

         “Of course. This is the easy kind, just walk like they are, you can do that Sari, come on now.”

         Sure, they’re walking with their legs all together and stuff. Gosh, this is more confusing than it should be.

         I heard Justin laugh and felt his arm tighter around my waist, “You’re so fucking cute when you’re all focusing like that. It’s easy, you’re getting it.’

         “Shh, don’t talk I need to concentrate.”

         “You’re doing good,” he smiled and moved his arm from my waist and put it over my shoulder, “Alright this one’s different, grab onto my hand.” I went for his hand that wasn’t over my shoulder but he laughed, “Nah, this one, see how they’re doing it?”

         I grabbed his hand and copied the people in front of me exactly, “Alright.”

         “Alright, you got it. Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

         I laughed and elbowed him in the side with my free hand, “Obviously.”

         “Yeah, obviously,” he laughed, “Give me your other hand.”

         We’re all like knotted up now, this is kind of awkward, “I like this one, it’s easy.”

         “Yeah, you just like holding my hands,” he smiled.

         “Oh shut up, I do not.”

         He laughed as I almost ran into the people in front of us when they decided to stop, ok fine, I guess everyone decided to stop and that’s what they were supposed to do, but no one told me about that. “Pay attention, you’re going to get us kicked out.”

         I laughed as I watched more carefully, “I didn’t know you did this.”

         “Of course I do, it’s in my blood. Every time I come home I do it. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Sari.”

         “Yeah, I guess so.”

         “Alright but seriously, people are kind of looking at me, cause they expect stuff from me and… not to be an ass, but you’re kind of making me look bad.”

         “That’s being an ass! I’m trying.”

         Justin laughed and walked me off the dance floor, “I’m kidding, calm down,” he wrapped his arms around my waist, “You’re good at this.”   

         “Shut up.”

         “I’m being completely serious. You’re not anywhere near as bad as I thought you’d be. I won’t have enough new material to make fun of you with like I had planned.”

         I laughed and placed my hands on his chest, trying to push him away but he just held onto me tighter, “That’s mean.”

         “We should have got you a cowboy hat, that would have sealed the deal.”

         “Sealed the deal?”

         “Yeah,” he smiled, “Sealed…. The…deal. Let’s go outside for a minute.” He moved his hand from my waist to my hand and led me out to the back, where there were some tables and Christmas lights around a patio.

         “It’s really pretty out here,” he nodded his head, “I’m having a lot of fun down here, I’m glad I came.”

         “I’m glad you came too.”

         “And I’m really glad you’re back to your normal self and you’re not a huge asshole anymore.”

         He laughed at that, “I’m glad you said I’m back to my normal self and not that I’m just acting weird now.”

         “No. I know you used to be a good person.”

         “Used to be?”

         “No, you are a good person now, like you used to be, it was just clouded.”

         “Yeah,” he laughed, “I learned my lesson, that’s for damn sure. I really am sorry about everything and…”

         “I know, Justin.”

         “Alright,” he pulled me close and kissed me gently, making my knees go weak. “Oh fuck Sari,” he pulled away and chuckled, “You’re doing all this crazy shit to me.”

         “I am not, what am I doing?”

         “More than you know, way more than you know.”