So Slut-tal as I call her, or Chantal as everyone else calls her, is absolutely pointless. It’s harder with her here than it was when she wasn’t here. She is completely clueless in life in general; forget about with a three year old. She can’t even take care of herself.
“Sari how bout… a grilled cheese?”
“Surely ma’am,” I said as I put her on the counter as I made the sandwich, “You know, you can ask Chantal to make you lunch too.”
Ayden looked at me like she was trying to figure out what I was saying. “How come?”
“She’s here to help you. If you need help with something or you need someone to play with and Daddy is busy you can play with her.”
She curled her lip up and shook her head, “I don’t wanna. I wanna play with you.”
“I know babe, but I mean if I’m busy.”
Ayden shrugged, “I don’t like her, she mean.”
“Why is she mean?”
“She say… be quiet Ayden, you too loud. And den Daddy say go to room,” she waved her finger in the air like she was being punished, “And den she laugh and Daddy laugh and I come here. And they make silly faces.”
“Yeah, let’s stay out here away from them.” Ayden nodded her head while I put her grilled cheese on a plate and sat down to eat with her. “Do you have any fun bug facts for me today?” She shook her head, “Didn’t you read any of those books we got?”
“No, she say that buggies are yuck!”
“I don’t think buggies are yuck.”
“Me neither,” she pouted out her lips and I grabbed a book to read to her while we had our lunch. Justin came into the kitchen followed by a giggling Chantal and went right to the fridge and grabbed a beer for himself and one for her.
He handed it to Chantal and then walked over to grab Ayden in his hands, “What’s up girls?”
“Daddy!” Ayden giggled, she always gets so excited when he spends time with her, it breaks my heart a little, “Wanna go swimming?”
“Yeah,” he twirled her around before placing her back in the chair, “I can’t though, we have an appointment, me and Sari.”
“That OK, I come and we go lata.”
“No, you’re going to stay here with Chantal, she’ll take you swimming.”
The smile slid off her face as she looked over at Chantal. I followed her gaze to see Chantal picking at her fingernails and I understood completely why Ayden looked so nervous.
“You’ll have fun,” I tried to assure her.
“Yeah, you’ll have fun,” Justin agreed with a laugh, “Chantal will take you swimming, right?” she didn’t answer, “Chantal?”
“Huh?” She’s a complete moron.
“You’ll take Ayden swimming?”
“Oh,” she giggled, “Yeah.”
I really don’t think she should take Ayden swimming. She can’t even pay attention when we’re in the kitchen, she’d totally be the girl that’s out there tanning and leaves Ayden alone in the pool.
“Yea-ya” Justin said as he walked out of the room, “I’ll be ready in a minute Sari.”
And he left me alone with Slut-tal. She leaned against the counter and took a sip from her beer. Meanwhile Ayden finished eating her grilled cheese and sang to herself as I cleaned up.
“So… are you CPR trained? We never asked you that.”
“Huh?”
“CPR?”
“No, I don’t know him.”
Oh my god, she can’t be serious, “Do you know first aid?” she shook her head and I stood up and went right to find Justin.
He was in his room getting changed and I knocked on the open door as I walked in, “Yeah, what’s up?” he asked as he pulled a shirt over his head.
“I don’t think you should let Ayden go swimming with her.”
“Why?”
“I don’t trust her. I mean we’re down there talking and she’s not even paying attention.”
“Relax Sari,” he laughed, “She’ll be fine.”
“No seriously though, I can picture her lying on the lounge chair reading a magazine while Ayden’s in the water drowning.”
“You’re paranoid,” he laughed again.
“I am not. Justin you honestly trust her to be alone with Ayden while she’s swimming?”
“Yeah, I do. She has a lifejacket.”
“So whose to say she’d even put it on her?”
Justin stretched his arms over his head before standing behind me and putting his hands on my shoulders while he walked out of the room, “Relax, you’re so paranoid.”
We walked back into the kitchen to see Ayden ripping up pieces of paper while Chantal sat at the table texting. Justin looked at me; you know it’s bad when even Justin thinks something is wrong. “What are you doing?”
“What?” Ayden asked with a smile, she knows she’s doing something she’s not supposed to be doing.
“What?” Justin repeated, “Pick it up, you’re making a mess.”
I will say I’m impressed that he’s actually being the father for once. I kind of just stood back taking it all in because I don’t think I’ve ever seen him act so fatherly in my life. Maybe his mother’s intervention actually worked.
“Come here Ayden, listen to me.” He picked her up and put her on a chair and then squatted down so he was at her level, “I don’t want you swimming until we get back ok? You wait for me or Sari and we’ll go after we get back. Do you hear me? I don’t want you in that water.” Ayden nodded her head and Justin stood up to talk to Chantal, “Just don’t let her go swimming alright?” he looked over at me while Chantal continued texting. I gave him a look to tell him that I know she’s fucking crazy and I tried to warn him but no, he doesn’t listen. “Chantal!” he screamed it and she jumped then he laughed and Ayden giggled but Chantal just looked up at him.
“Huh?”
“Don’t let her go swimming.”
Chantal nodded her head as Justin picked up Ayden, “you’re in charge kid. Watch out for her.”
“Bye Daddy! Bye Sari!”
“Bye Ayden!” Justin shouted back at her.
“Bye,” I said before going over to give her a hug. I really don’t like leaving here alone with this girl who is still on her damn cell phone, “Be good and be careful,” I whispered into her ear and kissed her forehead.
I got into Justin’s car and sat quietly as he drove off. He laughed, “What’s your problem?”
“I don’t trust that girl at all.”
“She’ll be fine. Ayden can take care of herself,” I looked over at him and he smiled but the fact that Ayden is alone with this crazy girl scares me so much.
“She thinks CPR is a person.”
“What?” he asked with a chuckle.
“I asked her if she knew CPR and she said, I don’t know him.”
Justin laughed, he threw his head back and laughed for a good minute, “She’s a fucking dumbass.”
“Yeah. You can fire her and I’m sure we could still get Maria.”
“Give her a chance. Calm down, you really are paranoid.” My mouth dropped open and Justin threw his mouth open to mimic me, “You know, they say Lexapro can really help with the anxiety, you should probably talk to your doctor.”
I rolled my eyes, “You’re obnoxious.”
He laughed; I really think sometimes his main goal is to annoy me. Actually, I’m positive that his main goal is ALWAYS to annoy me. “Did you just hire her to make my life more difficult?”
“No, I hired her because she’s hot.”
I took a deep breath; at least he’s honest… I guess. “Where are you going?”
“You said we’re going to Johnny’s.”
“No, David’s.”
He took a deep breath, “You said my fucking manager.”
“If it were Johnny I would have said Johnny, I never say your manager for Johnny. Oh my god, relax!” I screamed as Justin literally went across three lanes of traffic to get off at the exit. My heart was in my throat, “There are like twenty of cars on the highway and you jump across three lanes?”
He looked over at me and laughed, “I’m telling you Lexapro.”
“It is not normal to jump across three lanes and speed like a fucking mad man.”
“Maybe if you told me where we were going I wouldn’t have had to.”
“Is David your manager Justin? Yes, he is. I always call David your manager and I call Johnny Johnny. Besides, I said, you need to go meet with your manager about the movie. Why would you see your music manager about a movie?”
“Alright! Whatever, I don’t listen to everything that comes out of your mouth.”
“Obviously, which is your problem.”
“Maybe if you didn’t talk so damn much I’d be able to listen to the important things you say,” he had a smug smile on his face which makes me once again believe he does everything to annoy me. As he pulled into the parking lot there were a few guys with cameras that followed him from the second he stepped out of the car to the second we were in the building. Most celebrity’s deal with the paparazzi by ignoring them, some even go a little crazy and attack them. But I think Justin is possibly the only one in the world to laugh at them. That’s all he does, as he’s walking into the building he laughs hysterically, like he just heard the funniest thing he’s ever heard. I really think there’s something wrong with him. Maybe he has some sort of a chemical imbalance.
“Call and make sure Ayden’s ok,” he ordered when we got off the elevator.
“Oh… who’s the paranoid one now?”
“It’s contagious.”
“Yeah, contagious,” I answered sarcastically as I went through my bag to find my phone. I really need a different bag so I can be more organized. Maybe a smaller bag would do it, but I need a big bag to hold everything.
“Watch out! Jesus!” Justin shouted as he grabbed onto my arm, “You’re going to walk into a fucking desk.”
I wasn’t paying attention so I almost walked into some guys moving a desk into another room. I really need to pay attention and deal with my multitasking skills some other time, “Thank you Justin.”
He nodded his head, “I got your back, and you got mine. That’s how we roll.”
Justin is a little kid stuck in a man’s body. “I’d rather work with Ayden. Can we switch and I’ll be the nanny and Chantal can be your assistant?”
“Chantal can have my back instead of you?” I nodded my head, “I would love for Chantal to have my back. She can have my front too,” he laughed at his own perverted joke.
“Then let’s do it.”
“Nah, you know damn well I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I’d be fucked without you,” his answer caught me by surprise. I thought for sure he’d come up with some stupid, obnoxious answer. “I need you like water like breath like air, I need you like mercy from heaven’s gate,” he sang making sure to point his finger in the air when he reached the high notes.
“You have serious problems,” I laughed as we walked into David’s office.
“You’re in the presence of goodness. People pay big bucks to hear this voice, and you get it for free.”
“I’m the luckiest girl in the word,” I answered sarcastically.
“You are. Call Ayden.”
I called Chantal to check on Ayden three times during the first three hours we were there. I would have called more but every time I excused myself everyone at the meeting gave me dirty looks. My cell phone rang during the first hour and I left the room when I saw it was Chantal.
“What’s the matter?”
“I have an audition,” she answered.
“OK?”
“Like now… what do you want me to do with her?”
“What do I want you to do with Ayden?” I asked out of disbelief, she can’t be serious.
“Yeah.”
“Um… watch her?”
“I have an audition,” she repeated.
“Ok… you’re working though.”
“I have an audition,” once again she repeated it. I can’t deal with her, I really can’t.
“I know!” I shouted, “You’re saying that you’re going to leave?”
“Yes, I have…”
“An audition. I get it. You can’t just leave her.”
“Well I have to go, I have an audition.”
“Right, but you can’t just go. You’re working and you’re watching a three year old, you can’t leave.”
“I have to leave, I have an audition.” Dear God, help me.
“What are you going to just leave her?”
“That’s what I’m saying, what do you want me to do with her?” now she’s getting annoyed. As if I’m the crazy one because of course this hooker should go to a fucking audition while she’s working and watching a three year old.
“Watch her!” I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down, “Chantal you can not leave her alone, she is three years old.”
“OK, but I have to go, I have an audition. When are you coming back? She’ll be ok for a little while.”
I don’t even know how to deal with this idiot; it’s like talking to a fucking wall. “Alright, don’t leave until someone’s there. Or you’ll go to jail; do you know what that is? No auditions there, never.”
“OK but I need to go.”
“Oh you need to go? Why?” I asked sarcastically.
“I have an audition.”
“Oh, you have an audition? Why didn’t you say so?”
“I thought I did. Didn’t I?”
She is the biggest idiot, honestly I’ve never even heard of someone being so stupid, “Don’t leave her alone.” I hung up the phone and went back into the meeting.
“Everything alright?” Justin whispered to me when I sat down with him.
I shook my head, “Chantal is ready to leave Ayden because she has an audition,” I whispered back.
“What?” he shouted and jumped up. Everyone else at the meeting stopped and looked at him, “Sorry,” he sat back down, “Are you going to go get her?” he asked me softly.
“Yeah, I need the keys,” he handed them to me, “Thanks, I’ll come back?”
“Yeah,” he nodded his head, “I’ll call you when we’re done and I’ll come down, don’t bring her up.”
“Alright,” I ran to the elevator and then to the car. It’s really sad that I have to race back to the house so the crazy nanny doesn’t leave the three year old so she can go to an audition. This is why I said from the beginning that we should not have let her watch Ayden. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, I could feel it. This girl is going to kill us all.
