I poured some milk into my bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen table across from Ayden and Justin. Justin whispered something into Ayden’s ear and then looked at me with a smile. He has something up his sleeve. He looked back at Ayden and nodded his head.

            “I need more juice.”

            Justin didn’t move, he just looked at me, “I’ll get it for you,” I said softly looking between the two of them for some sort of explanation.

            I walked to the refrigerator and saw a picture taped to it, a picture from the other day of Justin laughing hysterically while we walked into his manager’s office and me looking at him like he’s crazy. “Oh my god.”

            Justin and Ayden both started laughing, I’m pretty sure Ayden doesn’t know exactly why she’s laughing but I know damn well Justin does. “You’re famous now girl!”

            “Oh my god,” I repeated. I look like a complete idiot giving him that look.

            “Next time laugh with me,” Justin said with a laugh, “Don’t make me look like I’m crazy.”

            “You are crazy, why do you laugh?”

            “It’s better than crying right?” He’s so strange. I pulled the picture off the fridge and crumbled it up before throwing it in the garbage and sitting back down at the table, “What’s the plan for today?”

            “Ayden has a dentist appointment,” Ayden smiled when I said her name.  She’s so cute, even Justin noticed it this time and he laughed at her. “Did you fire Chantal yet?”

            “Not yet.”

            “What are you waiting for?”

            “I’m waiting to bang her,” he answered honestly. Sometimes I do wish he would keep that stuff to himself, although I guess I should know better than to ask.

            “So can you do that and then get rid of her?” he nodded his head and I took a deep breath, “Like today?”

            “Yeah, I think I can manage that,” he laughed at the face I made, “I like when you give me shit like that to do instead of signing stuff or calling people. You should give me more chicks to fuck, then I’ll always do what you say.”

            I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the fact that he’s once again swearing in front of his daughter and he just said that he was waiting to fire her nanny until he bangs her AND he wants me to find more girls for him to fuck. He really has no clue.

            “What else?”

            “You don’t have anything to do today. You can go golfing?” When Justin goes golfing it really calms him down.  He comes home and is just chill. There are no crazy needs or screaming, he’ll just sit by the pool or in front of the TV and I never hear a word out of him. I would really enjoy it if he went golfing every day.

            Justin shrugged, not giving much thought to my suggestion, “I was thinking of heading into the studio.” He is such a workaholic it’s unbelievable. We just finished up a thirteen-month tour and he wants to get right back to work. And then he wonders why he gets so stressed.

            “For what?” I asked the question and Justin laughed at me for it.

            “Johnny’s in the studio with the girls.” The girls he’s referring to is the Making the Band girls.  I’m confused about his involvement with them. He seems like he really just wants to help them but I’ve learned a long time ago not to expect too much from him. Plus they are five hot girls so I wouldn’t be surprised if he had some ulterior motives.

            “Yeah, he called and said the cameras were there so if you want to go make sure you’re decent.” They also do a reality show, I don’t know if that’s common knowledge or not. Johnny actually told me the cameras are there to make sure Ayden doesn’t show up. I hate how everyone thinks that Ayden is such an issue. I honestly don’t think anyone would care if they knew he had a daughter. I mean they could spin it around and make him so hero for taking her. I don’t know; it just really bothers me that everyone is so ashamed of her. They don’t know how lucky they are to have her.

            He nodded his head, “Are you going to take Ayden?”

            “No, I’m going to let Chantal take her,” I answered sarcastically. I’m hoping that Justin can fuck the girl while we’re gone and she’ll be long gone and never have to see Ayden or me again. That’d be the perfect situation.

            “I was thinking you be the nanny today and I’ll deal with Chantal.”

            “Perfect,” he has never had a better idea in his life, “We’re going to go to the zoo then ok?”

            “Go to the zoo Sari, live it up.”

            Ayden’s face lit up, “I want to see the teddy bears!”

            “Then you’ll have to go to the toy store Ayden, you don’t see teddy bears at the zoo,” Justin answered seriously. It’s so adorable that she would say she wants to see teddy bears at the zoo and he just rolls his eyes and corrects her like she’s not three damn years old.  He was doing well too, I thought today was going to be a good Justin day. Forget that.

            “Actually they do have teddy bears at the zoo,” I corrected Justin when I saw Ayden’s smile slide off her face, “They have hundreds of teddy bears and all kinds of bears too, like grizzly bears and polar bears and black bears.”

            “And gummy bears!” the smile came back on Ayden’s face, this time bigger than before.

            “Yes,” I laughed, “gummy bears and panda bears and dancing bears.”

            Ayden giggled, “And gummy worms?”

            “Of course.”

            “Can we go now?” she jumped up and down, “I wanna go now! Can we go now?”

            “Yes, we should get going,” I looked up to see Justin had disappeared. Apparently we were boring him. “Go say bye to your dad ok?”

            “Bye dad,” she answered softly and grabbed onto my hand pulling me towards the door.

            “I don’t think he heard you darling,” I laughed and picked her up so we could tell the asshole we’re leaving.  As we walked through the house I noticed a trail of pictures on the wall.  I took a deep breath and ripped every picture down. If he used his power for good instead of evil he really could be such a great person. Instead, he spends his time buying at least a hundred copies of a tabloid (which he hates) so he can put pictures of me looking horrible all over his house.

            When I put Ayden down at the door of the living room Justin was lying on the couch watching television. He looked up at me and saw all the crumbled pages of a magazine in my hand and laughed at me. “Whatcha got there Sari?”           

            I rolled my eyes, “So much for not supporting the tabloids huh?” You should have seen how bad he flipped at me when he saw me reading one at a doctor’s office. At the damn doctor’s office! He acted like I bought a lifetime subscription.

            “Sometimes it’s worth it,” he gave me his asshole smile and then looked back at the television.

            “We’re leaving.”

            “Have fun.”

            Ayden ran over to her father and jumped up to give him a hug, “Fuck Ayden, I’m watching television.” I swear to you, he pushed her off.

            He has no fucking clue. I can’t take it anymore, I really can’t. Why would anybody do that? What is wrong with him? Ayden is going to turn out hating her father by the time she’s 5. She’s going to be one of those fucked up children of celebrities that are drinking and on drugs by the time she’s twelve if he has anything to do with her growing up. Sometimes I think she would have been better with her mother. But then I remember she was probably just as bad as Justin, if that’s at all possible. I really need to take her far away from him.

            She gets so depressed when he treats her like that. Her smile is gone and she just kind of sulks away. “Real nice Justin. You’re an idiot.”

            He flicked me off instead of answering. I took a deep breath and grabbed Ayden in my arms before escaping. She was quiet the whole way to the dentist. It breaks my heart. I tried to cheer her up but even my silliness that usually works didn’t. She’s three years old; she shouldn’t have to deal with this.

            Ayden joined The No Cavity Club at the dentist. I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud in my life.  The first time I took her to the dentist was the first time she’s ever been.  Justin had the theory that her teeth were just her baby teeth so there was no need for her to brush them since they’d be falling out anyway. That’s possibly the dumbest and grossest thing I’ve ever heard.

            We both had so much fun at the zoo. I always have fun with Ayden; I really wish I were the nanny. She’s just so adorable and smart and she’s such a good kid. I don’t know what it’s going to take for Justin to realize that and give her the attention that she disserves.

            Ayden spent the whole ride home telling me about all the things she learned about the animals at the zoo. She held onto the teddy bear we bought her tightly and giggled as she remembered things the animals were doing.

            When we got home I helped Ayden up on the counter and grabbed her a drink. As if on cue, Chantal walked down the stairs, straightening out her clothes that were obviously just thrown back on.  She fixed her hair and her shoe as she walked down and Justin followed behind her.  He was straightening out his clothes as well and had that goofy grin on his face that all guys have after they just got some.

            “What was your favorite animal Ayden?” I asked to get her gaze away from her dirty father.

            Thankfully she turned away from the stairs, “The polar bear, no the gorilla, no no the dolphin!”

            Justin didn’t bother to show Chantal out; instead he walked right to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer before sitting down next to Ayden. “Have fun?”

            Ayden smiled when she realized that her father was back to caring, at least for a little while. “Daddy we saw dinosaurs! The big one! The T-REX and da rappy door.”

            “You saw dinosaurs at the zoo?” Justin asked out of disbelief. “Wow, that’s pretty amazing, especially since they’ve been extinct for 65 million fucking years.”

            “Not uh Daddy, I seen um.”

            “A lizard Ayden, they’re called lizards.”

            “No suh Daddy, it was a big one, called a rappy door.”

            “It’s a raptor, and you did not see one.”

            “Yes she did Justin,” I answered and he laughed at me.

            “What are you fucking feeding the kid? Magic brownies?”

            “I love brownies!” Ayden smiled.

            Of course Justin found that funny. It makes me sick that he refers to Ayden as ‘the kid’.

            “They were robots, they have a dinosaur exhibit,” I clued him in.

            “That’s great,” he didn’t even try to sound interested, “Can you two get the fuck out of my face?”

            “Did you fire her?”

            “I did Sari, when are we going to find me a new one?”

            “I’ll find one, you don’t need to be there.”

            “Last time I had to go and this time I can’t?”

            “Last time you found her,” I pointed out.

            “Yeah, last time I found her,” he agreed with a smile, “So when are we going to find me a new one?”

            “You are not coming. I’m finding the nanny myself.” There is no possible way that I’m going to go through that again. No possible way.

            I hate him. I really hate him.