“Ugh Daddy, look what you made me do,” I looked in the back seat of Justin’s car to see Ayden pouting in her car seat with her arms crossed over her chest.
“What I made you do?” Justin asked out of disbelief, looking in his rearview mirror, “I’m driving.”
“I know you turn and it go bye.”
Justin looked over at me and I shrugged, “You did make a sharp turn.”
He shook his head and laughed, “What did I make you do Ayden?”
“My pop tart fell. I want it now!” Well wow, she is sure getting the attitude here. Justin let out a sigh and pulled the car over before reaching back to get her pop tart. He does spoil her; it’s one of those things. He’s either completely rude, like he was before we left, or a complete pushover. It doesn’t make sense. Justin handed Ayden the pop tart and started driving again.
“Are there two interviews?” Justin asked me as he drove away.
“One actual interview, there are two parts. It’s for the same magazine, I’m not sure if it’s the same person interviewing you or not.”
Justin nodded his head right as a pop tart went flying and hit him on the back of his head, “What was that?” he asked me first but I’m not about to tell on Ayden so I shrugged instead, “Dud you just throw a fucking pop tart at me Ayden?”
“It was an accident! It was an accident! I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to.”
“Don’t EVER throw fucking shit at me, especially when I’m trying to drive.”
“I sorry Daddy! I didn’t mean to do it!”
“Alright, shut the fuck up.”
He goes from hot to cold so fast. He was doing better today but that seems to be over.
*~*~*~*~*~
I sat down in front of the pool reading one of the articles in the tabloids. Ayden was sitting down next to me when I heard the screen door open and Justin came out in his bathing suit with a towel wrapped around his neck. He sat down next to me, “They got some good pictures huh?”
“Yeah,” I handed the magazine over at him so he doesn’t have to look over my shoulder. “Are you going out tonight?”
“I don’t know, why?”
“My dad’s coming up.”
Justin nodded his head as he flipped through the magazine, “When?”
“Tonight, at like six.”
He nodded his head again, “Make reservations somewhere then, we’ll go out.”
I swear he has a serious problem. It was no more than two hours ago that he literally told his daughter to shut the fuck up. And now here he is suggesting we take my father out to dinner. “Like… you want to go?”
“Yeah,” he answered with a smile, “your father’s coming up, I should take him out, no?”
“You don’t have to.”
“I think I should, to explain some of this shit to him. I’m sure he’s confused.” Understatement of the century. “So make reservations,” Justin smiled as he stood up, dropped the magazine on the chair and picked up his daughter, “Let’s go swimming.”
It was 6:30 when my father arrived. Luckily for everyone, Justin was still in good father mode. “Hi Daddy!” I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug. It is nice to see my father, even though I know it’s only a matter of time before this whole night becomes a disaster.
“How are you doing sweetie? It’s good to see you.”
“You too Daddy, I missed you.”
“Well, you should come home more,” he placed his arm over my shoulder, “Where is he?”
“He’s in the other room. Daddy, please don’t do anything.”
“I’m not going to do anything,” he said as he followed me into the living room. He stopped at the door watching Justin as he lay on the couch holding Ayden over him as she pretended to fly. She giggled and Justin laughed and my father looked at me with a very confused look on his face.
I smiled, “Justin, you remember my father?”
“Yeah, of course,” he put Ayden down and stood up to shake my father’s hand, “It’s good to see you again, how was the drive?”
“Not too bad,” my father took his hand but didn’t offer much else.
“And you know Ayden,” Justin picked her up again.
She giggled and waved at my father, “Hi Sari’s Daddy! I’m Ayden.”
“He knows that goofy, I just told him,” Justin said as he playfully threw Ayden on the couch. “We have dinner reservations in like twenty minutes. We should get going. I’ll go get her ready and give you guys some time.”
“Bye Sari! Bye Sari’s Daddy!”
I waved at Ayden and my father waited until they left the room to speak, “Is this supposed to be funny?”
“What?”
“Does he always act like that?”
“Do you mean go from being cool to a complete asshole?” my father nodded his head, “Yes Daddy, that’s what I’ve been saying from my first day,” I don’t think he ever listens to me.
“What do you think?” he’s asking for my professional opinion. It’s a shame I haven’t studied in years and I don’t remember too much.
“I think he’s crazy.” I answered honestly.
“Sari,” he shook his head and laughed, “was it your idea to go to dinner?”
“Nope. All him.”
Justin came back to interrupt us from our diagnosis and we went to dinner. Surprisingly enough dinner was like it would be if Justin were a normal human being, except for the fact there were cameras everywhere following us, taking pictures, and asking me about my daughter. Luckily, my father didn’t start his questioning until we got back to Justin’s house.
“Justin, I have a couple questions, if you don’t mind.”
“Go for it man,” Justin sat down with his coffee after putting Ayden to bed.
“Well, first explain to me the logic in telling the press Ayden is my daughter’s child.”
He just gets right to it. I sat down on a chair opposite the both of them so I wasn’t choosing sides. Maybe I’ll be able to be invisible over here and I can just listen instead of taking part of the actual conversation.
“It was not my idea,” Justin laughed, “They didn’t want it getting out that I have a kid because they think it’ll ruin my image. So there were pictures and they said we should have Sari say she’s hers and that’s basically all there is to it.”
“Who is they?”
“Oh, my bad. My managers and lawyers.”
My father nodded his head and I played with the rim of my coffee mug. “Why is it you don’t want it getting out?”
“They’ll run with it and make it out like I’m this crazy person that doesn’t know how to take care of my kid and that I don’t know what I’m doing. They’ll go crazy.”
“Who is they?”
Justin took a deep breath, I can tell he’s getting annoyed already and no offence to my father but I kind of am too. “The press.”
“Do you feel like there are people that are out to get you?”
“They are out to get me, it’s not a feeling it’s a fact.”
“A fact?”
“Yes, they follow me around and try to find shit that can get me in trouble.”
“I see,” my father answered softly, “Do you ever feel alone even when you are surrounded by people?”
“What the fuck kind of a question is that?”
Now my father can see the transformation right before his eyes. “I’ll rephrase it, excuse me. Do you ever feel lonely, even if there are people around you? Do you feel like no one understands you and you’re all alone in the world?”
“I’m not answering that shit. I’m going out of my way to help you understand the shit with Sari, I don’t need a fucking psychoanalysis.”
“Maybe you do,” my father answered softly, “Do you feel empty inside?”
Justin looked away from my father and gazed at me, making me feel very uncomfortable, “Sari, I’m telling you right now, if this was your fucking idea…”
“This has nothing to do with Sari. She can leave, Sari leave. Let’s talk just you and I Justin; I’m not going to tell anyone anything. It helps to get it all out sometimes, and then I can help you.”
I stood up to leave but Justin stood up just as fast as I did, “Do not leave me alone with him.”
I sat back down; at least he knows his limits and knows if I leave him alone he’ll kick my father’s ass.
“I don’t need a fucking therapist.”
“There is nothing wrong with going to a therapist. I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to listen and offer some advice.”
“I don’t need advice,” Justin answered angrily. He is not taking this very well and honestly I don’t blame him. My father didn’t exactly ease into it like I had hoped. “I’m going to bed, good to see you.”
Justin walked upstairs and left my father and I alone in the living room. I will say I’m impressed at the way he took it. It’s a big step for him to just walk away instead of having a screaming match. My father, on the other hand, was not as impressed.
“Borderline personality disorder definitely, possibly narcissistic as well.”
“He’s not narcissistic. He’s not like seriously self-absorbed. You just think that because he does what he does,” I don’t know why I’m standing up for the crazy person, but I almost feel bad that my father came in and like automatically labels him with all this shit. Especially since he said he wasn’t going to label him. There is a reason why I decided not to go into being a therapist. “What about bipolar?”
“Bipolar is much more intense sweetie. His episodes would last weeks, possibly days. They only last a few hours correct?” I nodded my head, “Possibly cyclothymiacs.”
I nodded my head again, that’s like a mild form of bipolar, I don’t know why I remember that.
“I do think he should see a therapist. Why is he so against it?”
“I don’t know Daddy.”
“So many people are in therapy, especially in his field. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.”
“I know,” I answered. He’s preaching to the choir here.
“OK,” he stood up, “If you need help with anything you just give me a call. I still think you need to talk to his lawyers about Ayden, it’s not fair to her.”
“I know Daddy, I will. Thanks for coming, it was good to see you.”
“You too, come visit us soon. You’re mother’s worried about you.”
I nodded my head; my mother’s always worried about something. “I’ll see you soon, tell mom I miss her.”
When my father left, I let out a sigh of relief. Now I’m afraid of what I’m going to see. I went into the kitchen and Justin was sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of Jack Daniels next to him. “Is he gone?”
“Yeah,” I nodded my head and sat down next to him, “Sorry about that, I didn’t know that’s what he was coming to do.”
“It’s cool, fathers are… fucking… fucked.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his deep comment, “You’re a father.”
“Besides me,” he laughed and pushed the Jack closer to me and slid a cup over to me.
“No, thanks.”
Justin laughed again, throwing his head back as he did it, “You don’t ever drink?”
“I do drink.”
“When? I have never seen you drink. Sometimes you just need to get drunk Sari. You don’t?”
I shrugged and poured myself a glass, “I don’t know.”
“Have you ever even been drunk?”
“Of course I have. I just can’t drink whisky straight from the bottle.”
Justin laughed, “Get some coke, wuss.”
“I’m not a wuss. I’m just not a manly man like yourself.”
“That’s right,” he nodded his head with a smile, “Thank god.”
“I know, right.” I smiled before taking a sip of the Jack and coke. I could feel it burning down my throat; there is no possible way that’s normal.
Justin laughed at the face I made, “There’s other shit, don’t drink it baby.”
“I’m not a baby,” I said as I pushed the glass away from me and grabbed a bottle of Malibu, which I can handle.
“This is weird.”
“What is weird?” I asked curiously.
“You drinking with me, that never happens. You’re usually too busy on your soapbox.”
I rolled my eyes, “You’re a bad influence.”
“I guess so,” Justin smiled before taking a swig of his drink, “You have a problem with the eye roll, do you realize that?”
“What?”
“You roll your eyes all the time. Too much.”
“Please,”
“You’re doing it again,” he laughed, “It’s a serious issue Sari, you don’t even know you’re doing it. Call your father back, I’m sure he could label that as some fucking disorder.” I rolled my eyes again, not on purpose it just happened. He laughed again, “Seriously Sari, your eyes are going to get stuck like that.”
“Shut up, you’re so annoying.”
“Whoa,” Justin gave me a look and smiled, “Have another drink.”
“I will, thank you,” I poured myself more Malibu, “You are annoying.”
“And you’re perfect,” he answered sarcastically.
“I am,” I smiled.
“You sure are,” the sarcasm was very apparent in his tone.
