“Oh my god!” I jumped up from the ground where I was laying with Justin, “Oh my god!”

         “What’s wrong?” Justin shot up, not exactly the best wakeup call.

         “It’s morning, that’s what’s wrong,” I ran into the other room and grabbed my purse, throwing everything out while I searched for my phone that was, of course, at the bottom. It’s 7:48 in the morning. What is wrong with me?

I dialed Kelly’s number and she answered it after the first ring, “Well you’re alive, that’s a plus.”

“Oh god, I am so sorry. I fell asleep and totally lost track of time. Is he ok?”

“Yeah, he’s scared. I calmed him down a little, but now he’s just mad.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Yeah. Don’t rush back now; he’s all ready for school. I’ll take him over; you won’t make it back in time. Just don’t forget to pick him up.”

“Thanks Kel.”

“Sure, Brady” I heard her calling him. It took a minute; he doesn’t want to talk to me. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to let this happen.

I heard him on the phone but he wasn’t speaking, “Hey Monkey.”

“Where was you? I was scared.”

“I know hunny, I’m so sorry. I fell asleep and lost track of time.”

“I’m mad at you. You’re not a good Mommy.” My heart broke and I could feel the tears filling my eyes. He’s so mad; the anger in his voice is killing me. “I have to go to school. Bye Mommy.” He hung up on me. I flipped my phone shut and threw it to the couch, throwing my head in my hands.

“Everything alright?” I heard Justin’s voice.

I shook my head, “I left him. Justin, I left my son for the night. He didn’t know where I was. He woke up, and I wasn’t there. He’s never woken up without me there. He was scared out of his mind.”

Justin didn’t know exactly what to do, I know most men are not too comfortable with the whole female crying thing, and I wish I could stop because I’m not exactly at the point where I feel comfortable crying in front of him. “He’ll be mad for a little while, but he’ll forget about it soon. He’s five.”

“He said I’m not a good Mommy.”

Justin sat down next to me, “He didn’t mean it, he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He’s just upset. I’m sorry, I should have taken you home.”

I nodded my head; it’s not his fault. I know I’m overreacting a little, but I really feel like I was very irresponsible. I can’t just leave my son alone, especially when he thinks I’ll be home. Thank God I have Kelly and not some horrible babysitter that would just leave him. I don’t think anyone would just leave a five year old, but who knows.

“We’ll make it up to him. What do you say we take him fishing? I mean, if you want to do something just the two of you that’s cool too.”

“No, he’d love to go fishing. He’s been talking about it since you said you’d take him.”

“Perfect. We’ll go to breakfast and then get some shiners and stuff.”

“What’s a shiner?”

He laughed at my question, “The little fish you put on the hook.”

That works.

I grabbed onto Justin’s hand while he helped me up and I realized that I was still wearing the black dress from the night before. “I can’t go to breakfast wearing this.”

Justin smiled but continued walking upstairs, “I got you covered. This is my bedroom, my bed. Where I like to sleep usually, instead of the ground.”

“It won’t happen again,” I answered softly as I looked out of the window.

“I’m kidding, I’m a kidder,” he felt the need to explain as he wrapped an arm around me.

 I can’t believe that I fell asleep here. I have not slept a whole night since I’ve had Brady, and the one night I do is the one night that he’s alone. What is wrong with me? I should have gone home right away, I should have known better.

 “Do you need to shower?” Justin’s voice woke me from my thoughts. He had a crocked smile on his face, possibly suggesting we shower together but I can’t think about that right now. I shook my head and took the sweatpants and t-shirt from his hands. “Are you alright?”

I looked up at Justin as the smile slid off his face, “Yeah. I’m just… going to… get changed. You can shower,” I answered softly as I pulled the sweatpants under my dress. I turned around while I pulled the dress over my head, I know it’s not really necessary but I just did it out of habit. When I turned around Justin was pulling a t-shirt over his bare chest. God, he’s gorgeous. What the fuck is wrong with me? This is going to be serious trouble if I don’t get my act together. I can’t be that girl that forgets about her son as soon as she meets a guy.

I turned away to look in the mirror and ran my hands through my hair to straighten it out. I wish I had elastic. “You don’t have any elastics do you?”

“For your hair?” he asked, coming behind me. “No, but I’ll get you one. Ready?”

I nodded my head and followed him downstairs. “I also don’t have any shoes. Maybe you should just take me home.”

“I got you covered Chloe, don’t worry,” he smiled again, walking through his kitchen, out the sliding glass doors and through his back yard.

I gave him a weird look but he just kept giving me that crooked smile he has. “Where are we going?” I finally asked.

“The guest house,” he answered simply.

Of course. The guesthouse. Who has a guesthouse? This guesthouse is bigger than my house growing up, about twice as big. I decided not to ask questions and just follow quietly. Well, for a second I decided I should not ask questions, but I’m not good at listening quietly when I have a question, “You have a guesthouse?”

“I do,” he answered as if it was a normal occurrence and most people do have guesthouses bigger than regular houses in their backyards.

“Who lives in your guesthouse?”

“My cousin… my assistant, Rachael.”

Rachael, I don’t think I’ve met a Rachael. I’m getting to meet a lot of people in his life. That seems kind of weird, but then again I did meet his mother before any of this started. Justin knocked on the door and then started banging when she didn’t answer right away, “Maybe she’s sleeping?” I suggested.

“She’s not sleeping,” he answered while banging, “She’s up.”

I don’t know if she’s up since she’s not coming to the door. I don’t know why he wants to get her up anyway. A minute later a brunette, I’m assuming to be Rachael, came to the door. Justin was right she wasn’t sleeping. In fact, she looked like she had already gone on a morning run. She smiled brightly, “Good Morning.”

“Morning Rach,” Justin began, “This is Chloe, Chloe this is Rachael.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Rachael pulled me into a tight hug, “I’m glad I get to meet you.”

I smiled, not exactly sure what to say. I’m sure I would be excited to meet her as well if I knew she existed anytime before the two minutes I’ve known she existed. I’m kind of interested as to what it is she knows about me.

“We need a favor.”

My eyes darted at Justin; we need a favor?

“Yup, what’s that?” she asked with a smile.

“Shoes and an elastic.”

Rachael nodded her head and grabbed onto my hand, pulling me in her house, the guesthouse. “Don’t mind the mess, it’s time to rearrange the furniture. I have to change everything like every month, I’m weird like that,” she laughed as she brought me upstairs. I looked back at Justin as he stood smiling in the doorway. Rachael brought me to her closet and let out a deep breath as she dropped my hand, “Take your pick.”

I looked at her smiling face and then at the closet full of shoes, “I don’t want to take your shoes.”

This closet is like any girl’s dream closet. She has more shoes than I’ve ever seen in my life. And they’re not all stilettos or pumps; she has about twenty pairs of sneakers and at least 50 flip-flops.  “No, it’s not a problem,” she continued smiling, “I have an obsession with shoes, it runs in the family.”

“It runs in the family?”

She laughed and nodded her head, “Justin, haven’t you seen his shoe closet? It’s about twice the size of mine.”

I smiled; I’ve never heard of a man having that many shoes. I do love shoes, and gosh what I would give to have a closet that big full of shoes. But I digress, “I’ll take anything.”

“OK, take some flip-flops then,” she handed me a pair of Roxy flip-flops.

“Thank you, I’ll send them back with Justin.”

“Don’t worry about it, I have plenty,” she smiled, she’s always smiling, “Anything else you need?” she handed me a black hair elastic. I shook my head, “OK, let me know if you think of anything else. How was the Paul McCartney?”

“Oh gosh, amazing. It was like, unbelievable.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m totally going to be sneaking in the studio when they’re recording.”

“Me too,” I laughed, “We can sneak down together.”

“Sounds good. Well we better go, you don’t want to keep him waiting, he gets cranky,” she finished with a chuckle, “It was nice meeting you. I’ll see you soon.”

“OK, thanks a lot Rachael.”

“Anytime,” she smiled and waved, “Have fun!”

“All set?” Justin asked as I followed him to his Jurassic Park Jeep.

“Yeah,” I nodded my head, “She’s real sweet.”

He smiled as he opened the Jeep door for me, “Yeah, I keep her around for something.”

I smiled as he closed the door and went around to get in. I was quiet the whole drive to the quiet restaurant. No one looked at him like he was any different from anyone else. That calms me down a little; I was beginning to think everywhere he went people followed him. I probably jinxed it, so I knocked on wood.

Justin laughed as I did, “knocking on wood?”

I nodded my head and opened up the menu, “Any suggestions?”

“Yeah, they have the best hot apples. You can get them instead of home fries, but the home fries are amazing too, so I get both,” he answered with a smile, “The omelets are good. I get the Western omelet.”

“What about the stuffed French Toast?”

“Rach gets it, she loves it. I’ve never had it, I need eggs in the morning.”

“Brady always gets eggs when we go out for breakfast. He won’t eat them at home, but when we go out he always gets a cheese omelet and eats the whole thing,” I laughed to myself, “He won’t eat my omelets, ever, because he needs it like super thin.”

“I’m like that too,” Justin laughed, “You gotta get a big flat fryer then it gets real thin.”

I smiled as his suggestion then played with the sugar packet in front of me. I can’t get over how stupid and irresponsible I was last night. Brady must have been so scared, why would I do that to him?

“When I was seven, my mom went out with Paul, my step-father now, but this was when they first started dating, and she didn’t come home. She stayed over. I woke up and she wasn’t there. I ran downstairs and my Granny was still there from the night before, in the kitchen making me breakfast. Then she came home, a couple hours later, and I was pissed. I thought something happened to her, I wasn’t used to waking up without her there.  She felt real bad and took me out, horseback riding, and I forgot about it by the end of the night.”

“You did not forget about it, you still remember. It’s twenty years later and you’re still talking about it.” Great. I’ve scarred Brady forever.

“No, no that’s not what I mean. I hardly remember that, I remember the day after. I remember I got to meet Paul for the first time and I got to see how happy she was. I was scared; I was worried about her, because it was always just the two of us. And for a little while, I was pissed at her, but when I saw her so happy it was all right. I know she loves me and will do anything for me, but there was always a part of her that was missing. A part that I couldn’t give her, ya’know? And she never fucking dated, never. She never wanted to leave me alone or have random guys around pretending to be my father. I’m not trying to do that Chloe. I know you’re having this inner crisis but I’ve been there. I’ve been Brady and you have to trust me when I say he’s going to be all right. He’ll get over it. I know you’ve lived the past five years of your life for Brady. And that’s great, you should, but you gotta live for yourself too. Kids know when their mother isn’t happy. We know when something’s missing. He’s going to blame himself when he’s older if it’s still missing. You gotta make yourself happy too.”

“Stuffed French toast, western omelet,” the waitress dropped the plates in front of us, “Enjoy.”

I cut up my French toast and chewed a piece completely as I let what he said sink in. I understand what he’s saying and I do think he’s right to some extent, but it’s different for Brady and I. “He’s all I have.” I answered softly.

“I know,” he placed his hand on mine, “But you could have more. I’m not saying you should stop treating him like you do, but you have to let me in. Don’t go closing me off now because of last night.”

“I’m not.”

“Alright. Thank you,” he answered with a half smile. “How’s the French Toast?”