A bucket of shiners. We went into a small, shady fishing store and Justin told the man behind the counter that we wanted a bucket of shiners. The strangest part is that the man, with a potbelly like Santa Claus, knew exactly what he was talking about. The man went to the back room, without saying one word, and came back with a plastic bucket. The lid had small holes in it, I’m assuming so the little fish can breathe.

“Twelve ninety-seven,” was all the man said as he slammed the bucket on the counter.

I jumped out of shock at the loud noise.

“You alright there, Killer?” Justin asked with a smile as he grabbed a pair of binoculars and tossed them on the counter.

The man grabbed them before scanning them quickly, “Thirty-eight seventeen.”

“Thanks man,” Justin handed him the money, me the binoculars and grabbed the bucket.

“Can I look at them?” I asked as he placed the bucket in the trunk. I don’t know why, but I’m feeling this weird bravery like I want to look into a bucket with little fish.  Honestly, this whole thing scares me just a little.

“Go for it,” he smiled opening the little window on the top of the bucket. It took be a few seconds before I was able to peek in, not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.  It’s just a bunch of little fish no bigger than my pinky. I wasn’t scared at all… until they jumped and I jumped and Justin laughed. “You ok?”

“It’s not funny, I thought it was going to jump out at me.”

“Which is funny,” he disagreed, “They’re tiny fish Chloe.”

Well he’s just going to get a kick out of how I act around the big fish that they catch. “I don’t like fish, unless they’re on a plate with lemon and seasoning.” He laughed as he walked around the jeep and got inside. “What are the binoculars for?”

“Dinosaurs.”

I smiled at his response; he’s very thoughtful, always thinking about those extra things that will make Brady so happy, “Thank you.”

“They’re not for you Chloe,” Justin answered with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and looked out the window, he’s really changed… a lot, since the first time I met him. I guess he’s always been like this; he was just acting like a jerk when we first met. I mean that’s what he said. But I’m still a little scared that his asshole tendencies may come out again.

Justin parked in the school parking lot and turned the car off. “Can you give us a second?”

“Yeah, take your time.”

“Thanks,” I nodded my head before slowly walking up the walkway. I’m scared to pick up my own son. I’m afraid that he’s going to look at me differently than he’s always looked at me. I’m so scared that I’ve let him down and he’s going to remember it for the rest of his life. I can’t deal with this pressure. I felt my chest tightening up as I walked to his classroom.

“Brady, Mommy’s here” his teacher called out to him.  Brady looked up and then back at the blocks he was playing with, ignoring me completely. So much for him forgetting about it, he’s still mad.

“How was he?” I asked his teacher.

She answered with a smile, “He had a little bit of an attitude at the beginning of the day, but he got his act together.”

I nodded my head, aware that I was the reason for him acting like a little brat, “I’m sorry. Come on Brady, let’s go.”

He stood up and threw the blocks back in the bucket they were in and walked over to me, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Hey Monkey,” I messed up his hair as he made his way closer to me, “Do you have all your stuff?”

Brady’s arms remained crossed and I grabbed his backpack. He’s giving me the silent treatment. That’s like the ultimate for a five year old.

“Alright babe, let’s talk” I sat down on a bench when we got outside and pulled him up with me, “How are you? I missed you.”

“No suh. You didn’t come home. Where was you?”

“I know sweetie. I fell asleep at Justin’s house. That was bad, I know it was scary for you and I’m so sorry. It will never happen again Monkey, I promise.”

Brady pouted out his lips like he was really thinking, “You know what? I wanted to go.”

“To Justin’s?”

“Yeah, and you know what? He said I could.”

“Yes, you’ll be able to, just not last night.” I pulled Brady to my lap, hugging him tightly, “Do you like Justin?”

“Yeah. Uh-huh. Do you know why? Cause he said he’d take me fishin’ and he said he’d take me on a dinosaur hunt. And he has da Jurassic Park Car and you know what Mommy? He taught me how to tie that thing on your neck. And he’s a boy, just like me!” a big smile covered his face, “And he’s the coolest boy ever. He’s my favorite boy too. AND he said he’s gonna take me fishin”

“He did say that didn’t he,” I laughed. I think it’s more important than I ever thought it was that Brady has a male role model of some sort in his life. It’s different for him than it was for me. I was all right because I had my mother and I’m a girl. He needs more than I can give him, Justin’s right. “Well you know what Monkey? it’s your lucky day. Look who’s here.”

Brady jumped up and started to run towards the jeep but I managed to catch him before he ran through the parking lot full of cars trying to get out.

“What’s up Tec?” Justin asked as I helped Brady in the car.

“Hi Justin! Guess what? Guess what? Today’s my favorite day cause you’re here and I get to go in da Jurassic Park Car and you know what too? And you know what else? We had pizza for lunch! Real pizza! The kinda with the round pepperonis and everything!”

Justin laughed at Brady’s excitement, and gave me a look as if to prove to me that I was overreacting. “Oh little man, it gets better. Did your Mom tell you where we’re going?”

“No. Oh, I know! I know! Back to that playground with the balls?”

“Nope. Better,” Justin smiled.

“Better? Oh, I know! I know! Are we goin fishin?”

“We are going fishin!” I turned around to see his reaction. He’s so adorable, I’m never going to get used to it. I just love this kid so damn much.

“Oh! Yay Yay Yay!”

“Wait man, there’s more. We’ll be dinosaur hunting on the way. Keep your eyes open the whole time. Look through the trees, use these.” Justin reached back and handed him the binoculars.

Of course Brady had no idea what to do with them, but Justin managed to talk him through it. Although he did have them on the wrong way, but it was too adorable for me to correct him. The whole ride to the lake Brady pointed out the dinosaurs he saw, he has such a great imagination. I miss being a kid with a wild imagination.

We continued driving, deeper and deeper into the woods. I didn’t even know they went back so far. If I didn’t know better I’d be worried he’s taking us out in the middle of the woods for something other than going fishing. Justin backed the jeep up to the water and took the things out of the trunk as I helped Brady out of the car, “You’re going to be good right Monkey?”

“Right Mommy! I’m going fishin!”

“I know darling, you’re very excited. But I don’t want you getting too close to that water alright?”

“Um… ok but I gotta still go close cause I’m fishing. And fishies are in the water. But I’m not gonna fall in; ok Mommy? I’m not gonna fall in.”

“Alright Brady, don’t fall in,” I couldn’t help but laugh. I love him.

Brady ran to Justin and I followed closely behind. “Alright man, are you ready? Be careful with your fishing pole because there’s a hook on the end.” I grabbed the pole from Brady’s hand because I’m pretty sure he’ll hook his eye out.  Justin laughed as he continued, “Alright, you have to get a shiner,” he opened the bucket and Brady looked in but didn’t exactly jump up to grab a fish. “Can you grab one Brady? Or do you want me to get it?”

Brady looked over at me, a look pretty close to terror covering his face, “Go ahead Monkey, you wanted to go fishing.”

“I’ll do mine first, if you want,” Justin smiled but before he could grab a fish Brady stuck his whole arm in the bucket trying to chase a few around. The water splashed out of the bucket as Brady almost jumped in the bucket to get a fish. “Alright man, wait,” Justin laughed as he grabbed Brady’s arm and helped him get a fish.

I sat back and watched Justin teach Brady how to put the shiner on the hook and cast the fishing line out. Brady was definitely having the time of his life; he kept looking back at me with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen in my life.  Justin told Brady that you have to wait sometimes for the fish to bite and that’s when you sit back and talk about football.

“I like footballs. I got one you know. It’s red and it has black spider webs and a spider cause it’s Spiderman’s football!”

“That’s pretty cool. Do you play a lot?”

“Yeah, I play wit Mommy. She can throw it good but sometimes she can’t catch it,” he giggled.

“Brady, just sell me out me. I’ll remember that kid.”

Something started pulling at Brady’s line as I spoke. Justin grabbed onto the pole, “You got something Tec, alright, now you have to pull it in.”

“I got something! Mommy I got something! I got a fish! Mommy!”

“I know Monkey, but you have to help Justin get it in. Help him hunny, he needs help.”

Brady ran closer to help Justin pull it in. He seriously caught a huge fish. It was gigantic, Brady was so proud but I’m pretty sure I was more excited.

“Well, we got dinner.” I laughed because I didn’t think he was serious, but apparently I was very wrong, “I’m serious.”

“You can really eat that?”

“Of course, you’ve never had bass?”

“I have, but not like straight from the pond. You know how to cook it?”

He nodded his head, “You have a grill? That’s all I need.”

We packed everything up and headed back to the apartment. Justin wanted to be left alone as he cooked dinner so I decided it was a good time to give Brady a bath and get him ready for bed.  By the time we were back in the kitchen Justin was just finishing up dinner.

“Spiderman huh?” Justin asked with a smile as Brady climbed into his chair with his Spiderman pajamas on, “Are you hungry.”

He nodded his head and smiled, but he’s about ready to fall asleep at the table.

“Here we go. You caught this. Ready?” Justin asked as he placed the fish on the table.

“Brady! Look at that, it looks so yummy. Good job.” I laughed as a smile slid on Brady’s face. Justin started to clap so I joined in, Brady giggled and bowed.

The fish was absolutely amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever had fish that good. I helped Brady get in bed as soon as he finished because he was about to fall asleep at the table. When I came out Justin was already cleaning the table, “You don’t have to cook and clean.”

He smiled, “It’s ok, I’m used to it.”

“So am I.”

“Yeah, so take a break. Sit. I got it.”

I sat down and watched him clean up. I’m getting spoiled. “I didn’t know you were such a chef.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Chloe,” he answered with a smile.

“I guess so. Thanks for taking us fishing, he had the time of his life.”

“So did I, he’s a good kid.”

“Yeah, he is,” I nodded my head, “He’s kind of perfect.”

“Yeah, he gets it from his mother,” Justin smiled and wrapped his arms around me, “Thanks for letting me take you guys fishing.”

I get butterflies when he kisses me, I’m not exactly sure when that started. It hasn’t always been like that.

“Do you think he’s asleep yet?” Justin asked in a whisper.

I nodded my head and turned the lights off as I walked into my bedroom with Justin following close behind. His lips found mine as soon as the door was closed. I felt him smiling as he kissed me, “I’m really glad you let me kiss you now.”

“Me too,” I laughed as he kissed my neck, “Please don’t make me regret it.”

“I would never,” he looked in my eyes as he spoke and made me actually believe him, more than I’ve ever believed anyone in my life. Justin picked me up and placed me on the bed.  He kissed my neck and slowly unzipped my sweatshirt, kissing down my chest as he did so. I felt my sweatpants sliding down my body and felt his lips on my legs, kissing every part of me.

“Justin.”

“What?” he asked with a crooked smile kissing my shoulders as he pushed my sweatshirt down my arms.

“I’m ready.”

“I’m not,” he gave me a look before continuing kissing my body.

I could feel him growing hard against me, “Yes you are. Don’t tease me.”

“You love it,” he smiled before biting at my lip. I managed to get out from under him and pulled his shirt off. Justin sat on my bed, with that half smile covering his face as I unbuttoned his pants. I’m not really one for being teased; I’d rather get it moving along. I straddled his waist and kissed him passionately.  There was no resisting on his part; I think he’s ready now.

Justin wrapped his arms around my back and unhooked my bra, massaging my breast as he kissed my neck. I kneeled up so he could push my panties off and felt his fingers rubbing against me, “You’re so fucking wet.”

“I told you I’m ready,” I whispered in his ear, “Now give it to me.”

I gently lowered myself on him and moaned when he entered me. He feels so fucking good. I wanted to scream, I wanted to call out his name but I knew I had to be quiet. He moved with me, rocking to the same beat as he massaged my breast.

“Oh, fuck Chloe.”

“Shh,” I placed my hand over his mouth, “No screaming.” I felt Justin’s tongue on my hand and replaced it with my lips.

I could feel him tighten inside me and I moved faster with him. “I’m close.”

“Me too baby, let it go.” Justin placed his hand over my mouth and I placed mine over his so we weren’t too loud as we reached our points.  I fell into Justin as I caught my breath and he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. It was kind of a weird position we were in, but it didn’t seem weird. It was comfortable. Justin let his grip go and I fell onto my bed.  He lay down next to me, wrapping his arms around me immediately.

“You know, we’ve been together for just about twenty eight hours straight.”

“I  know,” I answered with a laugh, “I’m tired.”

I could feel him nodding against my back, “You’re bed is so small, what is it a fucking double? We can hardly even fit on it.”

“Sorry,” I laughed, “It’s usually just me and sometimes Brady but he doesn’t take up much room.”

“I’m going to get you a new bed.”

“I don’t need a new bed, I like this one just fine.”

“Alright then,” he laughed, “You’re going to get a bad back.”

“Shh, I’m tired,” I yawned.

“What time does Brady get up?”

“Usually around 7:30 or 8:00”

He nodded his head and sat up, grabbing onto his cell phone, “I’ll set my alarm for six so I’m gone when he wakes up. Is that cool? Or do you want me to leave now?”

“No, I want you to stay now.”

“OK,” he lay back down and kissed the back of my neck, “Goodnight Chloe.”

“Night Justin.”