“Mama, what’s up with all them boxes?” Brady said the second I opened the door to the apartment.

         I laughed at the way he spoke, but quickly was brought back to reality. “We are… moving. So we need to pack.”

         “Moving? How come?”

         “I just think we need to find a nicer apartment. Maybe one a little closer to school.”

         Brady looked at me as if I were crazy, “So how come we got boxes?”

         “We need to put all of our things in the boxes, so it’s easier to move.”

         “Ohhhh. All our stuff?” I nodded my head, “OK. I help Mama.”

         “Thank you Monkey, it’ll be fun.” I dead bolted the door shut and made sure to pull all the curtains down. I had to go buy more curtains the day after Gabe showed up, just in case he decided to pop back in. This way he won’t even know we’re here and I don’t have to worry about him looking in the windows.

         “Lots of fun! Cause I can throw it in the box, like this!” he said as he threw a bottle of water in the box.

         “OK, except we can’t throw things in, we need to place them neatly so we can fit more. And we don’t need to take water. I’ll tell you what to pack. OK?”

         “Um, ok. But first I gotta have my snack.”

         “Oh, of course. The snack is the most important thing,” I smiled as I walked into the kitchen, “So you were good in school?”

         “Oh yeah! I got a smiley face! Wanna see it?”

         “Yes, of course I want to see it.”

         “Ok.” He smiled and grabbed his folder from his backpack, “Do you see it? A big green smiley face! Cause I was extra good. And Mrs. Little said cause I got all green smiley faces I get to pick from the treasure box. AND I got a sticker! I got these glasses, wanna see them?” I nodded my head as he pulled out a pair of adorable alligator sunglasses and placed them on his face, “Aren’t they cool? Now you know, I can be a alligator when I want.”

         “Oh my goodness! Ahh!” I threw my hand over my heart, “Oh gosh, I was scared for a minute there Brady. I thought there was an alligator in my house.”

         He giggled and took the glasses off, “It’s just me Mama.”

         “Why are you calling me Mama? You never call me Mama.”

         “Justin calls his mommy Mama and I wanna be just like him!” he smiled, “Where is he? How come he didn’t come over?”

         “He’s been busy,” although I haven’t exactly been going out of my way to talk to him. He’s been calling but it’s been late, and I haven’t really been calling him back. I’m not exactly sure why. I just think I need a few days to sort my thoughts out. “How about a s'more for a snack?”

         “OH! YAY! Them are my favorite Mama! My favorite!”

         “I know Monkey,” I laughed, “They’re my favorite too!”

         “I know Mama!” It’s weird for him to call me Mama, I mean it’s been five years of him calling me Mommy… well I guess not five years, he wasn’t talking since he was born. All right Chloe, relax.

         “Do you have homework tonight?”

         “Yeah, I gotta do a paper. It’s called A is for Apple and I gotta find all the pictures that start with a and color them.”

         “That sounds kind of tricky.”

         “No suh Mommy, I mean Mama,” he caught himself quickly and giggled, “it’s easy peasy.”

         I grabbed the paper plate from the microwave and took a s’more for me before sliding the plate in front of Brady. I grabbed his folder; looking through on the papers he finished, “So do you like your new class?” he seems to be doing amazingly well.

         “Oh yeah! I like it and I have fun. Oh, and it’s my snack day on Monday, so I gotta remember to bring my favorite snack. I said I wanna bring ice cream but she said I can’t. Then I said I wanna bring popsicles but she said I can’t.  So then I say I wanna bring those icy things and guess what she said?”

         I laughed, “Did she say you can’t?”

         “Yeah!”

         “Oh man. We’ll think of something good that’s not frozen.”

         “Yeah, like push up pops!” Oh my goodness, he’s lost it.

         “No, not so much like push up pops. More like crackers or grapes.” Brady was too busy playing with the marshmallow of his s’more to pay attention to me. I laughed as I grabbed a rag to clean him up, “Maybe we should do your homework now.”

         “No, that’s ok. It won’t take long Mama, I think we should pack first.”

         There was a knock on the door and Brady ran to answer it. He opened the curtain first and I screamed, “NO! Brady, get away from the door! What are you doing? Get back here! What did I say about that? You don’t EVER go near the door. If someone knocks you stay where you are and make sure they can’t see in the window.  Get over here!”

         “Sorry Mommy, I was just checking. I forgot,” now he’s crying.

         “I know, I’m sorry for yelling,” I grabbed him in my arms, “it’s just really important that you never go near the door, alright hunny?” I kissed his forehead as he nodded his head. I’m paranoid, but I’m scared it’s going to be Gabe again and the last thing I want is for him to even see Brady.

         Brady sat down on the rug and began throwing towels in the boxes as I went to the door. I took a deep breath and looked out the peephole. My heart started to beat at a normal pace when I saw Justin standing outside. “Hey,” I opened the door and pulled him inside quickly before locking the door.

         “Hey,” he answered looking around the apartment. I watched, as he looked at the boxes then at all the curtains and how every window was blocked, “What’s going on?”

         “We packing!” Brady shouted from the ground, “Hi Justin!”

         “Hey, what’s up man?” he asked still looking around the room. I sat down on the ground and folded the dishtowels before putting them in the box.  “What are you packing for?”

         “We’re moving.” Brady answered.

         “Where are you moving?”

         “I don’t know. Mama, where are we moving? Oh! I know! We’re moving closer to my school.”

“What’s with all the curtains?”

“We need privacy!” Brady giggled, pronouncing the word privacy completely wrong. He did ask me that same question and I gave the exact answer.  “Guess what Justin? I got a green smiley face cause I was so good in school. So I got to pick from the treasure box AND I got a sticker. It’s a truck! The sticker is, but I got alligator glasses from the treasure box,” he paused to giggle, “And I put them on and Mommy said OH MY GOODNESS! Cause she thought there was an alligator in the house! But I said no way Mama, it’s just me!”

         “Chloe, where are you moving?” Justin asked, ignoring Brady completely.

         “Wanna see um Justin? I bet I’ll scare you too!” he ran off to get the glasses and jumped in front of Justin, “AHHH! Scared you! Look, I’m a alligator ROAR!”

         “That’s cool, can you give me a minute with your mom?” Justin asked, “Go to your room or something,” he suggested.

         “Oh. How come? I’ll be good. I wanna play with you. I wasn’t being bad, I promise.”

         “No, you’re in trouble Tec, I just need to talk to Mom for a minute.” I think I’m the one that’s in trouble.

         “Brady here, take a box and pack up some of your shoes.” He took the box and pushed it into his room while I finished with the towels.

         Justin sat down on the couch and waited until Brady was safely in his room before speaking, “Where have you been the past few days? You haven’t been returning my calls…”

         “Yeah, sorry, I’ve just been busy and I knew you were recording so I didn’t want to interrupt.”

         He nodded his head, clearly not buying my bullshit, “Where are you moving to?”

         “I’m not exactly sure. Is your mother still here?”

         “No, she left this morning. What’s with the curtains?”

         “I just don’t really like it wide open. We need more privacy.”

         He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. He leaned forward and spoke softly, “I’m getting really sick of the bullshit Chloe.”

         “It’s not bullshit, I just…”

         “Give me a fucking break, I’m not an idiot,” he still kept his voice down so Brady couldn’t hear him, “You have so many fucking secrets, I don’t know why you can’t just tell everything. You can’t keep secrets relationships don’t work like that. I don’t keep any secrets from you. I can’t read your mind; I can’t keep trying to guess what it is that’s bothering you. I can’t help you if you don’t let me help you.”

         “I don’t have any secrets.”

         Justin took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch. He’s ready to break, I can tell. “Right, of course not. Then why haven’t you had any contact with me in three days? Why do you have curtains up like you’re in hiding? Why are you packing all your shit when you don’t even know where you’re moving to? Why is the door fucking bolted shut? Why do you pull me in as if there’s someone out to get you? Why do you scream at Brady when he gets close to moving the curtain out of the way to see who is at the door? Why did you call me to pick up Brady at school and then jump three feet in the air when I saw you? Why didn’t you want to go home that night? Why did you want me to stay over? What the fuck is going on Chloe?”

         I stood up and walked into the kitchen to get away from his twenty questions, “Are you staying for dinner? I made lasagna, it’s almost ready.”

         “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” he spoke louder this time as he followed me into the kitchen, “Are you fucking listening to me at all?”

         “Yes, I’m listening,” I answered softly as I put the garlic bread in the oven, “But Brady’s…”

         “In his room,” Justin broke in, “He’s in his room.”

         “I know, but I can’t get into it now. Just wait until he’s in bed and I’ll tell you everything. I promise, please just wait.”

         I felt his arms around my waist, “I’m waiting. This lasagna better be good,” he answered with a smile.

         “It is. It’s my mom’s secret recipe.”

         “Sounds good to me,” he kissed me quickly before heading towards the window, “It’s so dark in here, can’t you let any light in?”

         “No, please don’t.” I grabbed onto his arm and he stepped back, “Sit down, it’s ready. Brady sweetie, wash your hands and come out here, dinner’s ready.”

         Justin grabbed the plates from my hands and placed them on the table as I grabbed the bread from the oven. Brady came running out, “Oh hi Justin! Are you staying for dinner?”

         “He is, did you wash your hands?” I asked Brady. He nodded his head, “Let me see them.” Brady slowly held his hands out, he lies, “Wash your hands!”

         “I did,” he giggled.

         “No you didn’t,” I giggled back, “Brady, please.”

         “OK, I’ll do it again. But this time I’ll use soap.”

         “What a great idea,” I laughed as he walked back to the bathroom and I heard the sink go on.

         Justin laughed as he sat down at the table, “You didn’t specify, I can see where there would be some confusion.”

         I rolled my eyes as Brady came running out again, “Let me see,” I grabbed onto his hands, “Oh, so perfect. Next time let’s do it that way first, ok?”

         “OK, I don’t like soap though.”

         “We bought the good soap that smells like strawberries!”

         “I know, but you know what Mama, it don’t taste like strawberries.” Brady answered seriously shaking his head.

         I threw my hands in the air as I laughed, Justin looks like he’s about to fall over from laughing, “I don’t think you’re supposed to eat it Tec.”

         “Oohhh.”

         The remainder of the night went amazingly well. We looked like a family. Brady told all his stories to Justin and Justin laughed and told his own stories. As I cleaned up dinner Justin sat and helped Brady with his homework. This is like a dream come true, I know I think that a lot, but Justin’s interaction with Brady keeps getting better and better. Or at least more fatherly. That worries me, especially since as soon as Brady’s asleep I have to tell Justin all about Gabe and he’s going to freak the fuck out and want nothing to do with us again.

         “It’s just about eight,” Justin said with a smile.

         I took a deep breath and threw my head back. Justin laughed, but this night went by way too fast.  “Come on Monkey, time for bed.”

         “No, no no no! A little longer, please Mama? I’m not even tired.”

         “Oh, you’re tired. You’re so tired. You had a big dinner, you got to play with Justin, I’d say you had a real good night. But now it’s time for bed, so say goodnight.”

         “Goodnight Justin,” he answered softly before giving Justin a hug, “Thanks for helping me with my homework.”

         Whoa. I didn’t even have to tell him to say thank you. That’s pretty impressive, he’s getting really good with those manners.

         “Anytime buddy, goodnight.”

         Brady waved one more time before I followed him into the bathroom to get him washed up. I read him a story and usually he wants me to read another one but unfortunately for me he fell asleep right away. I guess he was more tired than we thought. I seriously considered pretending he wasn’t asleep so I could read him another story and not go back out to Justin.

         Justin was still sitting on the couch when I walked out of Brady’s room and to the kitchen, “Do you want some coffee?”

         “No, I’m good.”

         “Soda? Milk? Push Up Pop?”

         “Chloe, you said…”

         “I know I’m just getting some coffee. Do you want any?”

         “Yeah, sure.” He gave in walking into the kitchen, “But we can still talk while it’s brewing.”

         I chose to ignore that last part and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet.  “I have some leftover sugar cookies, Brady helped me so there might be some eggshells but I’m pretty sure I got them all out.”

         “I don’t want any cookies, Chloe.”

         “They’re good, made from scratch, none of that cut and bake shit.”

         “How long are you going to stall for? It’s getting late.”

         “I’m not stalling, I just need something sweet before bed,” Justin laughed at my response.

         “Do you not trust me? Is that what this is about?”

         “No,” I answered quickly, “No, of course not. I trust you, like so much.”

         He nodded his head as he stirred some sugar into his coffee, “Then what’s the problem?”

         I sat down next to him, playing with the rim of my mug, “I have issues.” I answered honestly, afraid to look him in the eye.

         “I know, everybody has issues Chloe,” he sounds like he’s getting sick of it. I understand everyone has issues, but not the kind of issues I have. Most girls he would date don’t have their son’s father out to get them.  “What’s this issue?”

         I bit at my lip as I tried to figure out how I could possibly say this without him running away, “Do you promise you won’t leave?”

         “You think I’m going to leave?” he grabbed onto my hands, “Chloe, why would I leave? Have I not made it clear that I’m trying to help you? It pisses me off that you’re living like this, I want you move into an actual fucking house where Brady can play in his own backyard and go in a pool that he’s not sharing with twenty year old crack whores. I want you to have an easier life; I want you to never have to work a day in your life. I want you to be able to do what you want to do and not have to worry about how you’re going to pay your electric bill at the end of the month. You know that, you have to know that, I mean I’ve been going out of my way to help you. I want you to live like a princess, I want Brady to live like a fucking king, but I can’t read your mind. You have to tell me when something’s wrong. You have to let me in. You have to let me help you knock down all those walls you have up. You have to tell me why you have an extra deadbolt on your door. You have to let me in Chloe. You can’t lock me out too.”

         “Brady’s father showed up,” I answered softly, still a little afraid of the reaction I would get. I hate that it’s still so difficult for me to say these things; I really don’t doubt that Justin cares about us and really wants to protect us.

         “And that’s bad, I take it.” I nodded my head as he continued, “How bad?”

         “Really bad. I haven’t seen him since I was first pregnant. He um, wanted me to get an abortion when I told him. He’s from a really wealthy family, that’s all about keeping up appearances. So when I said I was going to have him he said that wasn’t an option and I had to get an abortion. I could never do that, obviously, but he didn’t care. So instead, he tried to give me an abortion himself, but throwing me down the stairs and beating the shit out of me.”

         “Did he touch you?”

         “When he came? Not really.”

         “How does he not really touch you? It’s yes or no Chloe.”

         “He grabbed me. He like grabbed my face and rubbed my leg and… he didn’t hurt me.”

         Justin stood up and started pacing around the kitchen, “I’ll fucking kill him if he lays one finger on either of you. What does he want?”

         “He said he wants to see Brady. He said he gets to see him, it’s his son and he wants to see him.”

         “He wanted you to get a fucking abortion, it’s been five years and now he wants to see him? He’s not going to see Brady,” Justin answered strongly.

         “I know it’s not going to happen. I don’t know what to do,” I answered honestly.

         “You have to go to the cops or something, right? Can’t you get a restraining order? Don’t you have one?”

         “I had one, but it was only for two years. I don’t know why he’s suddenly getting involved. I don’t know what he wants.”

         “You don’t have to worry about what he wants. Don’t even think about him, you’re not going to see him again. We’ll go in the morning and get you a restraining order. I’ll take care of the rest, I don’t want you worrying about it.”

         “What do you mean you’ll take care of the rest?”

         He laughed and pulled me out of the chair, wrapping his arms around me, “What? Now you’re worried?”

         “I’m not worried. I just want to know what you have planned.”

         Justin kissed me gently, “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be taken care of. You should have told me sooner. No more secrets, just tell me if someone’s after you and we’ll get it taken care of,” he smiled before kissing me again.

         “Thank you. You’re amazing.”

         “I’ve been told that a lot actually,” he laughed, “Now it’s bedtime.”