“Mommy?” I hear my son’s soft voice as he walks into the living room where I am sitting in the dark with a blanket wrapped around me and a cup of coffee in my hands.

         “Hey Monkey, I’m in here. Can’t sleep?” Brady crawled up on the couch and I put my coffee on the table before wrapping the blanket around him and holding onto him tightly. “Are you alright sweetie?” I felt him nod his head but he didn’t say anything, “Do you want me to come lay down with you in bed?”

         “No, I don’t wanna go to bed Mommy, I wanna stay here.”

         “OK,” I kissed his forehead and ran my hands through his hair.

         “Who was that guy Mommy? He was scary.”

         “No, no he’s not scary. Don’t worry about him he’s gone.”

         “How come he said I have his nose? I don’t Mommy, I have my nose.”

         “I know, he was just kidding,” I don’t know exactly how to deal with this. “Let’s lay down and try to sleep, it’s late.”

         “I’m not tired.”

         “Let’s just rest our eyes,” I said as I lay down and pulled him down with me.  I know he’s tired and will fall asleep just as soon as he closes those beautiful eyes of his.  Justin just got on the plane a little while ago and he said he’d call me as soon as he lands. He’s more worried about this than he should be, I mean obviously is a big deal but he’s going crazy. Justin’s really one of those guys that likes to be in charge and needs to protect everyone. That’s great, obviously, but he gets really pissed off when something happens. But I’m not the kind of girl that just does whatever someone tells me to do. Granted, I probably should have listened to him and stayed in Vegas. But we weren’t very safe their either.

         I could feel Brady fall asleep against me so I picked him up and brought him back to bed and lay down with him.  He definitely needs to be in his room when Justin gets here. I really don’t want to go through everything that happened, but I guess I have to tell him everything. Justin is going to freak out.

         I went back into the living room so Brady wouldn’t wake up when Justin called. The lights stayed off, I’m afraid to turn them on. I like living in the dark. It wasn’t much longer before Justin came, at least I don’t think it was, my sense of time is kind of blurred at the moment.

         “Are you alright?” he asked as soon as I opened the door and pulled me into the tightest hug I’ve ever gotten in my life. I nodded my head but he was holding me so close I couldn’t actually answer, “What happened? Tell me what happened.”

         “I can’t breathe, you’re holding me too tight,” he let the death grip go, only a little though; he still had his arms wrapped around my waist.  “Hi Tiny,” I said as the big guy came in and locked the door behind him.

         “Hey Kiddo, how are you doing?”

         “Tell me what happened,” Justin broke in, moving me to sit down on the couch, “Everything.”

         I took a deep breath, I would much rather never talk about it again and pretend it never happened. “We just came back and he showed up when I was trying to open the door. He was talking to Brady, asking him if he knew who he was. I told him we were really tired and maybe we could do this some other time. But Gabe told me to invite me in like three times, getting closer each time.”

         “So you invited him in?” Justin asked as if the simple solution would have been to ask him to leave politely and he would leave.

         “I had to, he would have come in anyway and I didn’t want Brady to be scared. Do you think I invited him in because I wanted to spend time with him?”

         “Of course not. I just don’t get it, go ahead.”

         What doesn’t he get? “He came in and he let me put Brady to bed. Oh, he was like what are you so afraid of? What do you think I’m going to tie you up and take the kid and light the building on fire? And he was like laughing when he said it.”

         “Did you call the cops yet sweetie?” Tiny stood up and grabbed his phone from his pocket, “You need to file a report, did you do it yet?” I shook my head and he went outside to make the call.

         “Why did he come?” Justin asked, running his hands through his hair. I know he’s trying to figure this whole thing out but he’s never had a situation like this before. The truth is he has no idea what Gabe is capable of doing, and I think he’s just starting to figure that out now.

         “He said he wanted to see Brady and he was mad about the restraining order. He said last time he deserved it but this time he doesn’t because he didn’t do anything yet. Yet. And then he got mad because I was talking back and he said I need to shut up and the only time he wants me to open my mouth when I’m sucking his dick.”

         Justin took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair again before turning to look at me, “He made you?” I nodded my head and stood up to pace around the room. “If I ever see him, I swear to god I will kill him. Then he left? Please tell me there’s nothing more and he just left.”

         Watching Justin get so upset and pace around the room like that is hurting me a lot more than I thought it would. I could feel the tears coming down my face; I don’t want to hurt him. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him and I should have just dealt with this by myself. “That’s it.” I answered softly, although it’s not the complete truth.

         Justin nodded his head, trying to act like this isn’t getting to him as much as it is. “It’s going to be alright, come here,” he pulled me up and into a hug, “It’s going to be ok.”

         “Oww. OK, just don’t put your hand there,” I moved his hand up a little so it would get off the area of my side that’s killing me.

         “Why?”

         “It just hurts a little.”

         “Why does it hurt Chloe?”

         “I don’t know, it just does,” he tried to pull my shirt up but I grabbed onto it, “Justin,” I pleaded; I really don’t want him to freak out anymore than he already is.

         Justin looked into my eyes and lifted my shirt before slowly looking down, “God Dammit Chloe! He did that. I fucking told you not to leave! God Dammit Chloe! I fucking told you!”

         “Stop J, you need to chill out,” Tiny came back in at exactly the right moment, “Man, it’s tough, but you can’t take it out on her. You’re angry, it’s understandable but it’s definitely not her fault. The cops are on their way; we’re going to get it all figured out. It would have happened sooner or later anyway.”

         “No!” Justin shouted, “It wouldn’t have happened because she wouldn’t have been coming home to her apartment all alone in the middle of the fucking night.”

         “OK, I fucked up! Can we stop screaming before we wake Brady up? Do you need me to say it? I can’t just show you? I mean, you saw it. Don’t you think I know I fucked up? Don’t you think that’s something that went through my mind when I’m standing in front of my door in the pitch black with my son clinging to my legs scared to death? And I tell him it’s ok and it’s going to be all right but I don’t know that. Because he tried to kill Brady before he was even born and he obviously doesn’t give a shit about me. Who’s to say he didn’t just come to kill us, what would stop him?  A piece of paper? The invisible fence that travels 200 feet away from us at all times? God Justin, I fucking know.”

         I ran into my room and closed the door as I fell onto the bed mostly so I wasn’t crying in front of them. I’ve been holding it in like I always do but then I just get to the point that all the tears come from wherever I’ve hidden them over the years. Usually I end up crying for so long I forget what it is that made me cry in the first place. I’m absolutely positive that won’t be the case this time.

         The door opened, shining the light from the living room on my face, “I’m sorry,” Justin stated quietly.

         “That’s great but I really just want to be alone.”

         I heard the door close and the room was dark again. For a second I thought he actually left but I should have know he wouldn’t, “I just… it really bothers me that he could do that. I mean, it’s one thing when you were young and I didn’t know but now that I know you and we’re together and it’s still happening, that’s fucked. I’m not blaming you; I didn’t mean to blame you. It’s my fault, it really fucks with me that I couldn’t do anything.” I think he was waiting for some kind of a response but I’m too busy crying to speak. I know when he gets angry he doesn’t always think before he speaks. I know he means well but the last thing I need after the day I’ve had is to listen to him scream.

         I felt the weight on the bed shift and felt his arms around me, “I am sorry mostly that it happened and I wasn’t here to kill him. But the police are on their way, and they’re going to do more than give you a piece of paper. I will make sure of that. You should put some ice on that, it’s gotta hurt, huh?” I nodded my head and he kissed my neck, “I won’t let anybody hurt you like that again.”

         The door opened again slowly, “J, Chloe, the cops are here.” Tiny whispered.

         “Alright man, thanks,” Justin sat up with me and kissed my lips gently, “Tell them everything.”

         When we walked into the living room the officers introduced themselves and actually looked like they were there to help. When we went in to get the restraining orders they looked like they were ready to go home and we were interrupting their conversation. I told them everything, every last detail because I had to. It was very hard to relive it, especially since I’ve always tried to repress these horrible things.

         Apparently, this is a bigger deal than I thought and they can arrest Gabe for what he did. Well they will arrest him, that’s what they said. They will find him and take him in, and he’s most likely looking at some jail time. That will make me feel much better but I am afraid that he has these amazing lawyers and will somehow get out of it. If that happens he’ll definitely be out to get us. We’ll have to move to Kansas or something. This is a nightmare.

         When the police left the sun was just about to come up. I told Tiny he could go home but he’s just as bad as Justin so I grabbed some blankets and made up the couch for him. I can’t thank them enough; I really don’t know what I would do without them. Justin insisted that I try to sleep but I know I’m not going to be able to. When I told him that he said he’d stay up with me. I think that’s ridiculous but there’s no talking him out of that.

         Justin did fall asleep; I lay in bed and watched him sleep. I need to trust him more. All guys are not like Gabe, and I can’t let him have ruined that for me. I know Justin’s one of the few good ones. I know he really cares about Brady and I. He’s smart too, so I need to trust his opinion more. When he says I’m safe, I’m safe. I shouldn’t question everything so much.

         “Mommy,” Brady whispered as he came into my room.

         I waved and managed to get out of Justin’s arms, “Let’s go in your room, ok?” I whispered back and grabbed onto his hand.         

         “How come everybody’s here?”

         “They missed you. Let’s play a game so we don’t wake them.”