It’s amazing how a couple hours can change everything. A few hours ago I was standing right here in front of my apartment scared out of my mind that Gabe was going to do something to seriously hurt Justin. I guess that fear came true, to some extent at least. I sure hope Justin isn’t seriously injured. The last time I tried to open this door, just a little while before that, I couldn’t even get the key in because I was scared I would go inside and find something happened to Brady. But now here I am, a few hours later, and I have this weird sense of ease. I know that Justin is hurt. That does worry me. But I also know that Gabe is in custody of the police and there’s not a slight chance he’s getting out anytime soon. That’s a good feeling.

         I woke Kelly up and thanked her for watching Brady once again. I owe her… big time. I’m done at the club so it will not happen again but I still need to figure out some way to repay her. After explaining everything to her she left, only after making me promise I’d call her if I needed her again. Friends like her are not easy to find. It surprises me she hasn’t cut me off yet.

         I stood in Brady’s doorway for a few minutes before waking him up. I need to really take it all in. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing son. Sure, he’s been giving me a hard time recently but that’s my fault. I’ve put him in some shitty situations and I need to make sure I don’t do that again. He’s safe and sound, that’s all that matters.

         “Mommy!” Brady shouted as if he was surprised to see me. There has only been one day of his life that I wasn’t there when he woke up, I don’t know why he’s acting so surprised.

         “Brady!” I answered back the same way. “Good Morning Monkey, did you sleep ok?”

         “Yeah, uh huh,” he nodded his head and stood on the bed as I walked over to him, “I slept soo good.”

         “I’m so glad,” I smiled as I picked him up and twirled him around. This is definitely one of the last times I’m going to be able to do this. He’s getting way too big. It’s weird how so much has happened during the night and he’s oblivious to it all. Thank goodness.

         After getting Brady washed up and fed I brought him to school. He promised me he’d have a good day and for some reason I believed him when he said it. He’s told me he would have a good day for the past few weeks but hasn’t really followed through. I feel like today is different, it was almost like he promised me differently than he usually does.

         I stopped at McDonalds on the way back to the hospital so I could sneak Justin in a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. I know hospital food sucks and he should have something edible.  I had to walk through a crowd of people to get into the hospital. It’s kind of interesting how fast news gets out when it comes to Justin. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it. 

         “He’s getting his cast,” Trace said as I walked into the room and noticed Justin was nowhere to be found.

         “How’s he doing?”

         “He’s fine. He’s just a little out of it but they said that’s normal. How are you doing?”

         “I’m glad you came. I didn’t want to leave him.”

         “Yeah, of course. He’ll be ok; it’s just a concussion. How are you holding up?”

         “Me? I’m fine. I don’t have a concussion so…”

         Trace laughed, “People get concussions all the time Chloe, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Except it is kind of a big deal.  I mean, I get it’s not like he’s in a coma or something but he’s acting weird. That can’t be normal. “Is he still acting crazy?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he answered with a chuckle. “The doctors said it’ll just take time. There’s not much they can do but he’ll get better on his own. He’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

I nodded my head and sat down by the bed, “There’s a bunch of people outside.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll call his managers and get it all straightened out.”

“What about his mother?”

“I called her, it’s all set. Everything is fine. Call me if you need anything.”

         When Trace left I looked out the window at all the people outside. The crowd seems to be growing. I really hope Justin doesn’t get in trouble for all this. It sure isn’t going to work wonders on his whole image. I’m sure they can spin it around whatever way they want. It’ll probably be in the papers tomorrow that Justin just attacked this random innocent guy.

         “Hey Chloooeeee,” I looked to the door when I heard Justin’s voice. A young nurse that looked like she was trying her hardest to stay professional when inside she wanted to scream because she was pushing around Justin Timberlake was rolling him in. I guess I understand why so many people are so awed by him, but it’s still weird. If they really knew him, like knew the real him, they’d be so unbelievably in love with him they’d probably burst.

         “Hey Justin,” I walked over to the bed as he climbed in, his arm now covered in a light blue cast. “How are you feeling?”

         “Amazing!”

         Yes, he’s definitely still acting crazy.

         “He’s on some anesthesia but everything went great. He should just try to sleep it off. He’s tired, which adds to everything so that’s the best we can suggest,” the nurse informed me.

         “I thought you’re not supposed to sleep if you have a concussion.”

         “That’s just a myth. It’s actually better to sleep it off. Sleep deprivation doesn’t help anything. I’ll be back later to check on you.”

         I sat down on the chair by the bed when she left and Justin just laid in bed smiling at me. “Are you hungry? I brought you a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich from McDonalds.”

         “Oh Chloe,” he said, dragging out his words as if he were drunk, “You’re so good to me. How’d I get so lucky?”

         I laughed as I pulled the food out of the bag. He is so out of it. “That’s a very good question Justin,” I answered sarcastically.

         “It is a good question! I know! Thank you for this wonderful sandwich. I’m going to eat it all.”

         “Your welcome, I’m glad you like it.”

         “I do. Is Brady ok?”

         “Yeah, he’s fine. He’s at school.”

         “Good. Cool. It’s hard to eat without my right hand. I still got my fingers out at least. That’s good. Last time I broke my thumb and the cast came all the way up and covered my thumb all the way. I still had my other four fingers out but you have no idea how hard it is to do just about everything without a thumb. Thank god they let me keep my thumb this time. They tried to take it away but I wouldn’t let them.”

         “How did you break your thumb last time?”

         “Dancing, practicing and stuff, basketball… I forget. I’ll have to get back to you on that cause I forget right now.”

         “It’s ok, thank you,” I answered with a smile. He’s kind of adorable when he’s so confused like this.

         “Your welcome,” he said as he crumbled the wrapper up and threw it towards the trashcan, missing completely. “Close. I’m not right handed. No, I am right handed, I’m not left handed. That was my left hand.”

         “Yeah, I know. It’s ok. Do you want to take a nap?”

         “Yeah. Do you?”

         “Um… I think I’m alright.”

         “There’s another room you know. You can sleep in there. NO! You can sleep in this bed. With me. There’s room.”

         “No, no, no. Be careful. Don’t move, I’m fine. I can take a nap on this chair if I want to.”

         “Nooooo. That’s silly. I want you to sleep with me on here. There’s room Chloe! It’s bigger than your bed. Not as big as my bed, but I have a big bed right?”

         “Yes, you do have a very big bed,” I answered with a chuckle. I feel like I’m talking to Brady. The meds are really messing him up.

         “It’s a big comfortable bed though. This one is kind of comfortable too. Come on, climb in. I moved over. Look, I can turn off the lights from here. All I have to do is press the button and BOOM the lights are off!”

         “That’s so cool. I’d like to have one of those in my room.”

         Justin laughed like a five year old, “Yeah, me too! Come on.”

         “OK, I’m coming,” I said softly as I carefully climbed into bed with him. I’m really afraid I’m going to hurt him but I know that’s not really possible. It’s not like he has all tubes and stuff going in and out of him.

         Justin wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close. I forgot how good it feels to be in his arms. I hope I’m not being stupid. I hope when his meds wear off he doesn’t tell me that he wants nothing to do with me. I know that has happened before but for some strange reason I feel like maybe it’s different now. I guess that’s just me hoping.

         “Oh! We were supposed to talk. Let’s talk, right?”

         “Um… not right now. I don’t really want to have a deep conversation with you when you’re all concussion head and drugged up.”

         “Concussion head,” he laughed, “I’m not concussion head.”

         “You are concussion head. You have no idea how concussion head you are.”

         He’s still laughing. It’s like that crazy laugh where his whole body is shaking. “Concussion head…”

         That laugh is so contagious, “go to sleep Justin.”

         “Go to sleep Chloe… concussion head.”

~~~~~~

There was a minute before I opened my eyes that I forgot where I was or what had happened. For a moment I felt Justin’s lips on the back of my neck and his arms wrapped around me tightly and forget all the events that had happened in the past month or so, forget about the last twenty four hours. I felt like I was lying in my bed, living the life. Justin was there with me, Brady in the other room. I wish I didn’t take all those days where that actually happened for granted.  As soon as I opened my eyes I quickly remembered that I was not home. I saw Justin’s arm over me covered in a cast and wished that we were not in the current situation we’re in.

“Good morning concussion head,” Justin spoke softly.

“No, you’re concussion head. I’m not.” I answered with a laugh as I turned around so I was facing him, “How are you feeling?”

“My head is pounding, but besides that I’m good.”

“What about your wrist?”

“It’s fine,” he said as he brought it closer to his face and examined it carefully, “that’s a pretty cool cast, huh?”

“I guess. I like the color, it matches your eyes.”

         Justin smiled, “It does match my eyes. So you have another hour or so before you have to pick up Brady. Shall we have our talk?”

         My heart started to beat in my throat. He does seem better, a lot better actually. He doesn’t have that weird look in his eyes anymore. “Are you sure you’re ok? I don’t want to talk to drugged out, concussion head…”

         “I’m fine,” he broke in with a chuckle, “Do you want me to walk in a straight line or something? I could say the alphabet backwards if that’ll make you feel better.”

         “No, I trust you. I want to go first though, ok?”

         “Yeah, ok,” he nodded his head.

         Now it’s serious. I’m way too scared to put my heart out there. I don’t do that. I don’t put myself in these situations. “I just um… I’m sorry that I got you involved in everything and that I woke you up. I really am… sorry that all this happened and I got you involved. I shouldn’t have gone back to the club and I know you’ve told me that a million times but I’ve never listened. I’m listening now though. I’m not going back every again and I’m going to get my act together. You’re right, you’re so right about everything. I need to get a real job and I need to think of other ways to take care of Brady because that isn’t working. Putting him in danger like that is just… stupid. I just… I’m not good at this stuff; I’m bad at it. I’m not used to putting myself out there and like really saying how I feel. But I do… I love you and I want to be with you. I’ll go to therapy and I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I just… really love you and I’ve never had this feeling before so I don’t really know how to keep it. I don’t know, I just want to be with you. But I need to think about Brady. And when I think about him I think about what he deserves. He deserves to have a mother that is stable and doesn’t have a life full of drama. He deserves to be loved, not only by me but by everyone in his life. You,” I paused when I felt my eyes begin to water, “you’ve always… since the first time you met him you’ve been amazing with him. You always ask me about him first and you really do care about him. I never really thought I’d find someone that cared as much about both of us as you do… or did. I don’t know. If you don’t want to be with me than I’ll have to live with that but you need to tell me now. I can deal with it but I can’t let Brady go through all of that again. If you want to be with me you need to be with me for the long haul. I won’t make him deal with that again. He loves you too much and too young to have his heart broken. It doesn’t matter about me, it’s about him. But I love you, a lot and I really wish you would stay with me… with us.”

         “I couldn’t leave,” he answered honestly before grabbing onto my hand, “It’s not just that I care about you guys it’s… so much more than that. I realized it with Gabe; I realized how much I love you and how much I need you. The way he talked to you, the thought of Brady being in any kind of danger just kills me on the inside. I can’t take that. I mean, I can’t even think of you guys being in the slightest bit of danger. I can’t let that happen. I didn’t do my job in taking care you of you. It was so stupid of me to leave it up to Tiny. It’s my responsibility. I need to look out for you guys because I love you and the thought of losing you scares the shit out of me. That’s the truth. “

         “Are you serious?”

         “Very serious,” Justin answered with a chuckle, “We’ll have to work on it and work on Brady but we can do it. We can make it work.”

         “Thank you,” I’m crying like a little baby. It’s really hard for me to open up like that but I’m so glad I did. I’m so glad we were able to talk it out and we can make it work. I really think we’ll be able to make it work.

         Now I just have to convince Brady to forgive Justin.