I don’t know why I’m so nervous. Brady is five years old. Kids his age forgive and forget. Whenever he’s mad at me it only lasts a few minutes before he forgets what it was that caused him to feel that way in the first place. This is different though. When Justin disappeared out of Brady’s life Brady was lost, he still is. There still is a little part of him that just won’t go back to normal. I have hope that having Justin back will bring that part back. That’s why I have some faith that Brady will be able to forgive and forget Justin.
As soon as I got to Brady’s classroom he came running to the door to greet me, “I GOT GREEEEEEN!!!!!” he shouted before jumping into my arms.
“What?” I shouted back just about as loud. Brady hasn’t gotten a green smiley face since Justin left. See, I do have some faith that it will work. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah Mommy, I was so good. Cause you know why? Cause you said I gotta be good. I did all my work and I even helped clean up, even though it wasn’t my job. So look Mommy! I got a cool sticker; look it’s a dinosaur. I love dinosaurs!”
“I know you do love those dinosaurs. I’m so proud of you Monkey. Do you have a lot of homework?”
“No, just one paper on addin’ cause I’m almost in first grade and first grade kids gotta learn how to add. Mrs. Little said that we’re all done with kindergarten work cause we’re so smart and it’s almost summer so that means when we come back from summer I’m gonna be in a new class and that class is called first grade. It’s almost like kindergarten but we’re not babies anymore so we don’t get playtime or naptime. But it’s more fun cause we get to have lunch with the big kids and we get to play with the instruments in music class. But ya know what Mommy? It’s not too scary cause it’s only right next-door and if I get scared I can just come in and see Mrs. Little and she’ll make me feel better. That’s what she said cause I was scared I’d be scared and she said I won’t.”
“Wow Monkey, I can’t believe you’re almost in first grade. You’re growing up so fast.”
“Yeah, uh huh cause I’m a big boy, for real now!” I can’t even explain how excited I am that Brady is finally getting back to normal. The depressed Brady really worried me. I just hope he can keep this up, even with Justin back in our lives.
“We’re going to go home and get a bag together for the night. We’ll do your homework later on.”
“Where we going Mommy?”
I took a deep breath, afraid of his reaction when I tell him. “Well, we’re going to stay over at the hospital.”
“What? How come? Cause we’re moving there?”
“No silly. We’re going to go visit Justin, he’s in the hospital so we’re going to stay with him until he gets better.”
“But I don’t wanna go see Justin. I don’t like him no more, memba?”
“I do remember but do you remember when I told you that I don’t think you should be bad at him? I was mad at him for a little bit too but then realized that I wasn’t really mad I was just sad because I missed him so much. I think we need to talk to him and let him tell us why he went away for a little while. We need to give him another chance because we forgive people we love, and we do love him, don’t we?”
Brady crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t love him. I don’t even like him that much.”
“I don’t think that’s true Brady. I think you’re just like me and you love him a lot but you were just sad. But we’ll talk to Justin and if you don’t think you can forgive him then you don’t have to. We just have to promise to try to forgive him and be nice and listen to what he wants to say to you.”
“OK, fine but I’m not gonna love him no more.”
“That’s fine darling, if you don’t want to you don’t have to. Just be nice and give him a chance.” Strangely enough, Brady’s comments make me feel better. I know how much he misses Justin and how much he wants to be with him again. Justin’s right, I’m sure as soon as they’re back together Brady will forget why he was even mad at Justin in the first place.
When we got back to our apartment I moved fast getting an overnight bag together for Brady and I. I’m a little nervous leaving Justin alone, I just don’t want him to be alone that long. I held on to Brady’s hand tightly as we made our way through the crowd still outside of the hospital. I wish they would all go away but luckily they were too busy focusing on a room on the fifth floor to even notice us walking by. For the record, Justin’s room is not on the fifth floor.
Brady’s holding onto my hand tighter than he’s ever held onto it before. I can tell he’s nervous but I think he’s kind of excited too. Hopefully he’ll forget he’s mad at Justin as soon as he sees him.
Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. When I walked into Justin’s room Brady stopped at the door with his hands crossed over his chest. “Hey, how are you feeling?” I asked as I continued walking in. I’m not going to make Brady do anything he doesn’t want to do. When he’s ready he’ll come in.
“Hey Concussion Head. I’m fine, where’s Tek?” Justin asked and I nodded my head towards the door, “Oh, hey man. Are you going to come in?”
“No suh,” Brady spoke between his teeth, “I don’t like you no more, I’m mad at you you know.”
“Oh, you’re mad at me huh? I guess I deserve that. Do you think maybe you could come on in here and we can talk about it?”
Brady looked over at me and I nodded my head so he slowly walked into the room. He stood right next to me, as if he were attached, and kept his arms crossed over his chest. “You got glasses. You look silly.”
Justin chuckled, “You think I look silly? I kind of like them.”
“No, you look silly.”
“Brady, that’s not nice.” I tried to hide my smile.
“He does though Mommy,” Brady said as he wrapped his arm around my leg and looked up at me. Nice Brady, real nice.
“How have you been, Brady? I missed you. How’s everything?” Justin’s trying and Brady’s letting loose of me so that could mean something.
Brady pulled his arms away from my legs and crossed them over his chest again before speaking quietly, “I got a green smiley today.”
“No way!” Justin shouted. It’s so obvious he’s really excited that Brady got a green smiley face today. He always manages to prove how much he cares about Brady, even with just the little things. “That’s awesome Tek, I’m so proud of you. I’m so glad you had such a good day.”
“Yeah, cause I’m good now.”
“You were always good Tek.”
Brady kept his arms over his chest before speaking softly looking down at the ground, “You call me Tek cause I’m a lie detector.”
“Yeah man, that’s right, you remember.”
I watched from the side as Brady slowly looked away from the ground and moved closer to Justin, “What’s that?” he asked, pointing to Justin’s wrist.
“It’s a cast. I broke my wrist, it’s kind of weird huh?”
“Oh yeah, uh huh. How are you gonna write? Mrs. Little says we gotta write everyday or we’ll forget how to write.”
We both laughed while Brady gently touched Justin’s cast. This is going much better than I expected, although I can’t get ahead of myself. I feel like this is really going to work out.
“I know, she’s right,” Justin began, “I won’t be able to write for awhile and I bet when I get it off I’ll need someone to help me learn how to write again. Maybe you could be the one to help me. What do you think? I hear you’re doing real good in school so maybe you’d be a good teacher for me.”
Brady shrugged his shoulders and climbed on a chair on the opposite side of the room. He was quiet for a few minutes before speaking up again. “You left. How come you left? I didn’t even do nothing. I didn’t mean to wake you up but you just left. How come? I said I was sorry.”
“Brady…” I broke in. I know that he wants to know, and he does deserve to know but I don’t think he’s really going about it the right way.
“No, it’s ok Chloe. Brady, it had nothing to do with you. I’m sorry I left without letting you know. I should have talked to you. I just needed some time to think. Your mom and I needed some time away from each other. While I was away though I realized how much I missed you and your mother so now I know that I don’t want to miss you guys any more. I don’t want to leave you guys, I want to stay here with you guys all the time.”
Brady looked up at me as if he didn’t listen to anything Justin had just said, “Mommy, I’m hungry.”
I let a chuckle escape, “Brady, Justin is trying to talk to you.”
“No, it’s ok,” Justin answered with a laugh, “Do you want to go get him something to eat? He can stay here with me and we’ll talk while you’re gone.”
I wasn’t sure if I should leave Brady at the hospital with Justin. I was afraid Brady would act up and Justin wouldn’t be able to go after him if he got mad and ran down the hall. But Justin assured me he’d be ok and I know that they need to talk alone. Brady will listen better if I’m not there and they can have some male bonding time.
I headed to the cafeteria first but quickly realized that probably wasn’t the best option so I snuck out the back and headed to Lucky Devil’s in Hollywood not too far from the hospital. Brady will be happy with a grilled cheese and milkshake and I know how much Justin loves the burgers.
By the time I got back to the hospital most of the paparazzi were gone, except for a few hidden in cars. The police and security were positioned all around the hospital keeping them away. I was a little worried when I got to Justin’s room and didn’t hear anything, so I stood at the door for a second before I heard Brady giggling and opened the door. Brady was sitting on the bed next to Justin drawing with markers all over Justin’s cast.
“Hi Mommy!” he waved when he saw me, “Look, Justin said I could color on his cast, isn’t it cool? And guess what? That lady, the nurse lady, she brought me some gummy bears cause she said I was being so good, so I got some gummy bears! I love gummy bears Mommy.”
“I know you do, but let’s put those away for a little while and eat some real food, alright?”
“Alright, cause I am hungry you know.”
“I sure do know,” I smiled as I helped him down and got his dinner out, “You sure did make a cool picture on Justin’s cast,” I said looking over at the cast. I am not exactly sure what the picture is supposed to be, it looks like a lot of scribbles with a sun and a couple people thrown in there somewhere. Thank God Justin doesn’t mind Brady drawing all over his cast. I think it’s absolutely adorable that he would even suggest that, but that’s just me.
“Wanna see? It’s me and you and that guy’s Justin and we’re going fishing and that’s a dinosaur and that’s the fish that we caught and over there is the stove that Justin cooked it on and there’s my Spiderman pajamas cause that’s what I had on that night.”
I definitely felt a tear in my eye; I can’t believe he remembers that night so well. That really was one of the first nights we all bonded together, its kind of where it all began. “You have a real good memory Brady.”
“Yeah, that’s cause I’m little. Ohh yummy! A milkshake! Yum yum yum!”
“I got you a burger,” I said as I placed it on the tray in front of Justin.
“My favorite, thank you,” he said before reaching his hand up to the side of my head and pulling me closer so he could kiss me.
“So everything’s good then?” I asked, looking over at Brady quickly.
“Oh yeah, everything’s good,” Justin smiled as he watched Brady make a fish face as he tried to suck the thick milkshake through the straw, “I’d say everything’s just about perfect.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, “Just about perfect.”
He’s right. This is exactly how I wished today would go. Brady is back to normal, he’s back to being obsessed with Justin, and we’re back to being the family type thing we were starting to be. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so maybe all the bad shit happened so I could really appreciate Justin when he came along. I know one thing for sure, I asked my mom to send me an angel and she sure did. An angel name Justin Timberlake.
