Usually after I take Brady to preschool I’m busy running around doing errands or cleaning. Today, I went home and went back to bed. I’m not usually such a complete bum but I haven’t really been sleeping too well.

            My cell phone ringing woke me up, and I’m really bad at having a normal voice when I just wake up.  “Hello?” I asked in a whisper.

            “Hello?” the female voice answered softly, “Is this Brady’s mother?”

            I jumped up and cleared my throat, “Yes, is he ok?”

            “Um, he’s fine. This is Miss Stephanie from his school. Can you come to school and get him please?”

            I let out a sigh of relief; I really thought something happened to him. I’m just the idiot that falls asleep and forgets to pick up her son. I looked at the clock to see it wasn’t time to pick him up yet; in fact I still have another hour and a half. “Is something wrong?”

            “He’s fine.  I’ll see you soon.” She hung up the phone before I could ask any more questions. Now I’m worried. I have never driven to the preschool that fast in my life. I ran into the office and saw my son sitting in the corner with his arms crossed, pouting his lips out.

            “Hi, I’m um…” I pointed to Brady, “his mother.”

            “Hi, come on in. Brady you wait out here.”

            I glanced back at Brady who was still pouting and then followed the principal into her office. I don’t know if she is a principal, I don’t even know if they have principals in preschool. All I know is she does not look happy and I feel like I’m back in grade school getting called to the office myself.

            “I’m Stephanie Moss, the head teacher.”

            “Chloe,” I answered, “Is he in trouble?” I wish she would just get to it, there’s no need to have the introductions. Clearly he’s in trouble, I would like to know why.

            “Brady punched another boy in the face.”

            “What?” my mouth dropped open.

            “And made his nose bleed.”

            “My Brady?” There has to be some sort of confusion, there is no way my son would punch another boy in the nose.

            “Yes. He won’t tell me why he did it and the other boy won’t tell me what happened either.”

            “Are you sure he did it? Because he’s not like… violent.  At all.”

            “His teacher saw him.”

            I nodded my head; I don’t want to be one of those parents in complete denial. I believe an adult, although I really don’t know what would have gotten into him to do that. “Was the other boy picking on him?”

            “No he wasn’t. You’re going to need to keep him home for the rest of the week.”

            “Like… he’s suspended?” she nodded her head. I didn’t know they suspended kids from preschool.

            “Yes. I’ll bring him in.”

            When Brady walked in he still had his arms crossed. Who is this kid and what happened to my sweet, adorable son? “Come here,” I pulled him close to me, “Look at me,” he looked up slowly, “What did you do?”

            “Nothing Mommy, he made me do it.”

            “Oh Brady, please. You do not do that.  I’ll take care of this, he won’t act like that again,” I said to the teacher as I stood up and grabbed onto Brady’s hand, “I’m so sorry. Can we go apologize?”

            The teacher led us into his classroom and I pulled Brady along with me.  He is not happy and neither am I. I just would like to know who this alien is and where’s my son? She called the little boy over and Brady pulled his hand away from mine to cross his arms over his chest again. “I’m sorry hunny, are you ok?” I kneeled down to be at this little boy’s level.  He nodded his head, “Brady, what do you say?”

            “Sorry,” he pouted.

            “OK, let’s try it again and this time say it like you mean it.”

            “Sorry,” that wasn’t as bad. I’ll take it.

            “Let’s go,” I grabbed his hand again and dragged him outside. I’m not exactly sure what to say with him. I’ve never had to really discipline him. This would be one of those times I need my mother to tell me what to do. I’m really fucking up. I really need her. I took deep breaths to stop the tears that were making their way down my face.

            “Mommy, I’m hungry. Can we get McDonalds?”

            “NO!” I screamed, “Are you serious?”

            “But I’m hungry,” he whined.

            “Well that’s great. Maybe you should have behaved and then you’d be in school eating lunch right now.”

            “I’M. HUNGRY! Mommy my belly is growling.”

            “Tell it to be quiet then. And you be quiet too, I don’t want to hear your voice again.”

            He pouted and I’m sure he crossed his arms again but I can’t look back because then he’d see my tear stained face.  I took the long way home so I could get myself together.  When we got back to the apartment I helped him out of his seat and went upstairs, he managed to keep himself quiet the whole time.

            “I’m hungry,” he whined softly.

            “I don’t care. Quiet.”

            “I wanna play.”

            “Brady, you are not going to play. You did not come home from school to play and get McDonalds. So sit.”

            “No.”

            “What did you just say?” I am about ready to go completely mad. Did he really just talk back to me like that? “You do not say no to me.”

            “Well what if I just shake my head then?” and now it’s over.

            “You sit down in that chair and do not move until I tell you to. Do you understand?” he didn’t respond, “Brady, do you understand?”

            “Yes,” he answered softly.

            “Do not talk to me like that. I don’t know what has gotten into you.”

            I walked into the kitchen and grabbed some bread to make him a sandwich.

It really makes me nervous that he punched another kid. He’s never been a violent person. His father used to hit me… a lot… so I’m afraid he’s going to turn out like that. Brady’s never even met his father so there’s no reason why he would be like him. I’ve tried my hardest since the day he was born to make sure he does not grow up to be one of those men that always resorts to violence. Hell, the day I found out I was pregnant was the day I ended all contact with his father for that reason.  I guess it took the idea of having a child for me to realize I didn’t need to be treated like that.

            After trying so hard to make sure Brady doesn’t turn out like his father, I am still standing here in my kitchen making a sandwich for my five year old son that just punched another boy in the nose to the point of blood splashing out. Not only that, he’s beginning to talk back to me. I thought I’d have a few more years before that started. I need someone here to help me get through this.

            I’ve never been a strong female. I really wish I was, but the truth is I need someone to help me get through hard times. My mother was always that person for me. There was a short time that she was replaced with Brady’s father but it all went back to her.  It didn’t really hit me that she was gone until the day of the funeral.  Everyone always told me how well I was taking the whole thing but it just didn’t feel like she was gone.  It wasn’t until I saw her lifeless body in the coffin that it hit me.

            It was at that point that I broke down.  I fell to the ground screaming and crying. It was like all of a sudden my mother had just vanished. One minute she was there sitting next to me helping me with laundry and the next she was gone.  I need her help.

            “Come on Brady, it’s lunchtime,” I placed the plate on the table and he slowly and quietly sat down.  He didn’t say anything; I think he’s about as mad at me as I am at him. Instead of acting like the adult I decided I wasn’t going to talk to him either. I honestly don’t want to talk to him. I want him to go back to my sweet, innocent, perfect little boy.

            “Can I watch Sponge bob?” Brady stood up after he finished half of his sandwich.

            “No. Sit down, we need to talk.” He sat back down and played with his sandwich. “Tell me why you’re in trouble.”

            “I didn’t do anything!” he started blaming ten other kids.

            “Whoa, whoa, stop. I didn’t say you did or didn’t do anything. I asked you a question. Tell me why you’re in trouble.”

            “I dunno. It’s not fair!”

            My head is starting to pound. Why can’t he just tell me what he did and see why he’s being punished and be done with it?

            “Brady, you seriously don’t know what you did wrong?” He shook his head and that made my blood boil, “Well then go back to your thinking chair and think about it. And when you figure it out then you can tell me. But until you figure out why you’re in trouble I don’t want to see you out of that chair.”

            I stood up and walked away leaving him speechless. I’m actually quite impressed at how tough I’m being. My mother has to be looking down on me and helping me deal with this.

            “Wait Mommy. I think I remember.”

            “Oh, you think you remember.” I repeated. Now we can add the fact that he’s lying to me to the list.

            Brady nodded his head and looked up at me.  “I punched Nathan.”

            “Yes, that’s why. Why did you do that?”

            He shrugged, “He was being mean.”

            “How was Nathan being mean?”

            “He wouldn’t let me play with him.”

            “So you punch him?”

            Brady made a face like he was really thinking about it.  Of course he has to make an adorable face so it’s harder for me to be mad. Although I’m pretty pissed this time it’s not exactly working.

            “I told him I was sorry.”

            “Sometimes sorry isn’t enough.”

            “I gave him a hug too,” he offered.

            I took a deep breath, “That doesn’t solve anything. You really hurt him.” I didn’t get a response, “And I don’t like the attitude you’ve been pulling with me. I don’t like the way you’ve been talking to me.”

            “Sorry Mommy,” he answered softly.

            “OK, now I want you to go to your room.”

            “But Mommy!”

            “Go to your room please,” I answered calmly.

            Brady stood up and stomped into his room before slamming the door. I cannot deal with him being like this forever, he needs to go back to normal real fast. 

            For the rest of the day Brady was in his room, except to come out for dinner. I hope this works, I don’t know what else to do. I know he was playing a little in his room, but he wasn’t doing anything too fun because he was busy trying to keep quiet. After I put him to bed Kelly came over and I was on my way to the club.

            I wasn’t sure how I felt about going to the club. On one hand I think I need to get away from Brady for a little while. But then again, I don’t think this is the place I should be going. Maybe I’ll be able to get my mind off it for a little, or at least I’m getting paid, that will make me feel better.

            After getting changed I went into the room where Justin was already sitting down, a blunt in his mouth and whisky in his hand. He pulled the blunt from his mouth and smiled, “What’s up Chloe?”

            “Hey,” I walked over to him slowly.

            “How are you doing?”

            “Fine.”

            “How’s Tec?”

            “I don’t want to talk about him here.”

            “OK,” Justin smiled before taking a sip of his drink, “Drink?” he offered.

            I shook my head, “What do you want me to do?”

            He answered with one word, “Dance.”

            I danced while I made my way over to his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. I grabbed the back of his head and pushed it into my cleavage. “You’re so beautiful.”

            I ignored him and kept doing what I was supposed to be doing. I ran my hands through his hair and then down his chest. His hands rubbed up my thighs, slowly sneaking closer and closer. I readjusted my weight and moved my spot while Justin slowly undid his belt and pulled his cock out. I looked down at it before grabbing it in my hands and stroking it gently.  I couldn’t get Brady out of my head and the fact that he punched another little boy. I seriously have these pictures flowing through my brain like a slideshow; Brady punching the boy, the blood shooting out, and all of his attitude.

            “Are you alright?” Justin asked and that alone caused me to jump a few feet. I never knew he would actually notice when something is wrong.  I nodded my head. “Are you sure? You seem kid of distant.”

            “Sorry,” I grabbed the strap of my bra with my thumb, playfully pulling to down my shoulder, “What do you want me to do next?”

            “Just keep doing what you’re doing,” was his response.

            I kept dancing but my head was racing. I haven’t been this stressed in a long time. When I’m this stress there’s only one thing I can do: cry. I felt my eyes water and looked away from Justin quickly so he wouldn’t notice.

            “Stop.” Justin put a hand on each side of my waist to stop me.  He then put a hand on each of my cheeks and moved my head so I was facing him. He looked me right in the eye; he’s never looked me in the eyes before.  “What’s going on?” I felt my knees go week and sat down on his lap, “Chloe.”

            “Brady got suspended from school.”

            Justin laughed before quickly stopping. “Kids can get suspended from preschool? For what?”

            I nodded my head, “He punched another boy in the nose and gave him a bloody nose.”

            “That right hook, huh?” Justin laughed again.

            I’m not finding the humor in this situation, “It’s not funny.”

            He looked at my face and stopped, “Alright, sorry. Kids fight, I don’t know what the big deal is.”

            “The big deal is that he never fights, he’s never violent. And he really hurt that boy. And now he comes home and he’s like so obnoxious, talking back to me and being rude. He’s never been like that.”

            “Kids go through phases.”

            “He doesn’t. He never has.”

            Justin laughed again, “Calm down he’ll be ok.”

            I ran my hands through my hair and stood up off his lap, “Why do you think it’s funny? Why are you guys all so messed up that you think hurting yourselves and innocent people is a good idea?”

            He had a smirk on his face but didn’t dare to laugh, “So now you’re mad at me too?”

            I took a deep breath, “I’ll see you Thursday.”

            “You’re leaving?” Justin laughed, “Come on girl, don’t take it out on me. I didn’t even get off yet.”

            “Well sorry, next time maybe.” I grabbed the money from the table and left him and his blue balls alone in the room.