The next day Kelly took me to her Gynecologist, and I was sitting in one of the chairs reading the latest people magazine with my leg bouncing up and down nervously. “Lori, chill. It’s going to be fine. She’s the best there is.”
“I know, but wouldn’t you be nervous?”
“Yeah I guess I would.”
“Should I have told him…” I was cut short by the nurse calling my name.
“Lorelei McBane."
My head immediately turned in her direction, “That’s me.” I said putting my magazine down. I looked back at Kelly, and she smiled sympathetically at me as I walked toward the nurse.
“Is this your first time with Dr. Morgan?” she asked as she led me into a room. I took a seat on the exam table.
“Yes it is. She’s my best friend’s doctor, and she came highly recommended.”
“Are you here for an examination?”
“Well, no. I’m actually here for a pregnancy test.”
The nurse couldn’t hide her smile, “Well in that case you really don’t need to see the doctor unless you would just feel more comfortable with her doing it, but I could do it for you.”
I took the nurse up on her offer, and ten minutes later I was waiting with Kelly in a different room. Talk about the longest ten minutes of my life. My head snapped in the direction of the nurse entering the room, “I have your results.”
“Oh joy.” I mumbled under my breath. Kelly nudged me softly. “Sorry.” I mouthed to her.
“It looks like you’re one hundred percent pregnant. Congratulations.” I tried to smile, I honestly did. But nothing would turn up on my face. A few tears escaped, and the nurse immediately turned down the excitement. “I take it this wasn’t planned?” she asked sympathetically.
I shook my head, and wiped some tears off my face, “No, I have always wanted kids, it’s just this wasn’t the way I wanted it too happen.” I said. I wiped away some more tears, and waved it off, “It’s just really complicated.”
Kelly rubbed my back sympathetically, “Everything’s going to be ok. I’ll help you.”
The nurse smiled, “If you want I can write you some referrals to some really good OBGYN’s.”
I smiled despite the tears, “Thank you. That would be very nice.” I said smiling.
“Good. Just give me a few minutes, and I’ll have that right out to you.” She said as Kelly and I walked out the door, and back into the waiting area. That was the easiest part. Now I had the hardest to overcome.
“Hello?” I sighed when I heard Justin’s voice answer his phone. I was really hoping for a voicemail.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Hey you. I was fixing to call and check up on you.”
“I’m feeling better. I haven’t hugged the toilet yet, but we still have the rest of the day ahead of us.”
“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. Where are you?”
“I was on my way over to see you. Are you at home?”
“Actually I’m at the studio, but I’ll be done in about an hour. Is anything wrong?”
“Kind of. I just need to talk to you about something. But don’t rush. Take your time in the studio.”
“What’s up?” he asked. He was more than ready to listen to what I had to say, but I couldn’t tell him over the phone. Hell no.
“I can’t tell you over the phone, and no I’m not dying or deathly ill. I just need to talk to you.”
“Ok, well just go on over to the house. My mom’s there…”
Hold the phone. I don’t remember that. “What?”
“Remember she wanted to come and visit? Oh shit, I forgot to tell you. Well, she got here last night.”
I stopped at a red light and leaned my head against the steering wheel. This was going to make it ten times harder to tell him. How could I not tell Lynn? She was going to know something was wrong with me, and pry it out of me. That must be where her son got it. She was going to be a grandmother, and she’s like my own mother. I love that woman to death. No one else could know before Justin. That was it. He would be pissed. “That’s cool. I haven’t seen her in a while. I’ll have someone to keep me company.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I get a chance.”
The light turned green, and I still had my head on the steering wheel. I jumped when I heard a car horn that scared me. “Fuck.” I said as I quickly stepped on the gas.
“Are you sure you ok?” Justin asked laughing.
“I was just thinking, and didn’t see the light turn green.”
We said good bye, and I pulled into this driveway. I parked my car in front of his garage, and used the front door entrance. “Mom?” I called. Yeah I called her mom. I’ve known her just about as long as Justin has, and I haven’t called her anything but.
“Lori?” I heard her call out, and I soon saw her coming out of the den. “Honey, I thought you were sick? Justin said we probably wouldn’t see you for a few days.” She said with a smile as she wrapped me in a hug.
“Yeah well you know me. I can’t stay away for long. Plus I feel a little better today. I haven’t seen the bottom of the toilet since yesterday.”
“Well you shouldn’t be working when you’re sick.” She said pushing some hair out of my face and behind my ear. She grabbed hold of my hands and stepped back to look at me. “Honey, you look like you’ve lost some weight. You’re skinny enough as it is.”
“I actually gained three pounds since last month.”
“Well it sure doesn’t look like it. Come on, let’s get something to drink, and talk.” She said as led me into the kitchen. God, I hope I had the strength to keep this to myself.
A few hours later I was at Justin’s alone. Lynn had gone out to run some errands, and I found myself nervously waiting for Justin. I lay back on the couch, and had almost fallen asleep when I heard Justin’s voice enter the house.
“I’m home. Mom? Lor?”
“I’m in here!” I called, and a few seconds later I heard Justin enter the living room and sit down next to me.
“Where’s mom?” he asked looking around the room.
“She left about twenty minutes ago to run some errands.”
“You look better today. Do you feel any better?”
“Well I haven’t seen the bottom of a toilet since yesterday so I guess that’s an accomplishment.”
“Everyone’s asking about you.”
I was surprised, “Who?”
“Well you’re with me at the studio everyday almost. They were worried about you when I told them you were sick. Tim especially.” I had become very acquainted with Timbaland over the past few years, and especially in the last couple of months. The majority of this new album was done with Timbaland, and he’s a very nice guy, and extremely talented.
I smiled the first genuine smile of the day, “That’s nice. I went to the doctor today.” I said quickly.
“I thought you weren’t going to go to the doctor.”
“Well I found out something last night that kind of gave me that extra push. I needed a second opinion.”
I could see his face had worried written all over it. “What’s wrong?”
I sighed. There was absolutely no easy way to say this was there? I mean you can’t just come out and say, “Hey! I’m pregnant!” Nope that just wouldn’t work.
“Hey,” He said as he grabbed both of my hands, “you can tell me anything. We’re best friends, remember? Whatever it is I’ll help you with whatever I can. So, just tell me.”
Well, it’s his fault that I said it that way I did. “I’m pregnant.”
“Huh?” he asked confused.
“I’m pregnant.”
“How? I mean I know how, but you haven’t had a boyfriend. How far a long are you?”
“A month.”
He was about to say something, but I could tell that it finally hit why I needed to talk to him, and why I was so worried about telling him. “Oh shit.”
I think today was the most that I had cried in the past two years, and tears immediately sprang to my eyes. “I’m so sorry Justin. I know you don’t need this right now, and neither do I because I’m going to be just as busy as you…”
“Hey, hey, hey. It’s ok. It’s not just your fault. It’s mine too.”
“B-B-But what are we going to do?” I asked wiping at my tears for the hundredth time today. I swear I don’t normally cry this much.
“Well, I guess…I don’t know.”
“I hope you know that I don’t expect anything from you. Like a relationship, and all that shit. But I would really like to have you around for everything. I, I just, you’re my best friend and I can’t imagine going through this without you.”
He smiled and kissed the side of my forehead. “And I couldn’t imagine letting you go through this alone. Of course I’ll be there. For everything.” He said as he pulled me to him in a hug. I pulled my legs up on the couch and curled myself into him. I don’t know what I was so worried about. We laid there together for a while until we heard Lynn come in.
“Lori? Are you still here?” I heard ask, and that’s when I smelled the food that she brought in with her.
“We’re in here mom!” Justin called, and then looked down at me. “Lori? Are you ok?” He asked looking at me weird.
“Oh god.” I said as I slapped my hand against my mouth, and ran to the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me just as Lynn entered the living room.
“What happened?” she asked with concern
“She got sick again. I’m going to go check on her.” Justin said as he walked toward the bathroom. He knocked on the door, and winced at the sound of my…well, you get the drift. I don’t have to go into detail there do I? I didn’t think so. “You ok?” he said when he opened it.
With my head still in the toilet I moaned, “No.” He walked over to me, and pulled my hair out of my face.
“Are you through?” He asked.
“I think so. Can you get me a wash rag?”
“Sure.” He said as he grabbed a rag off the counter and wet it with warm water. He knelt down beside me and rubbed it on my face. “Feel better?”
“No.” I said with the only smile that I could muster. “I think it was the food that your mom brought in. For the past couple of days I haven’t been able to even look at food much less smell it. Even the smell of lettuce makes me sick, and you know how much I love salad.” I took the rag from his hands, and continued with the job. We both looked up at the voice that entered the bathroom with us.
“Honey are you ok? Do you need anything?”
I smiled, “No, Mom, I’m fine.”
“I suppose you don’t want to try and eat anything do you?”
I smiled and shook my head, “I think I’ll pass.”
Justin looked at his mother, “We’ll be out in a few minutes, Mom.”
“Alright. I hope you get better sweetheart. I hate to see any of my kids sick.” She said as she walked out of the bathroom.
“Want to try standing up?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I said as he held his hands out to help me up. “Thank you.” I said looking at myself in the mirror and making a face. “God I look like hell.” My face was once again clear from all make up, and my hair…well let’s just say it wasn’t the prettiest thing ever.
“You look sick. That’s all. Give it a few days.” Justin said patting my shoulder. “Do you think we should tell my mom?”
“Well, we’re going to have to sooner or later. I mean a few more months and I won’t be able to hide it.”
“Do you want to tell her together?” He asked.
“Why don’t we tell our parents separately? Speaking of which I need to call my mother.”
“She isn’t going to be mad is she?”
“Mad? No. Shocked, definitely.” I placed my hand on the knob, and walked into the foyer. “I can come back over if you want me too after I call my mom?” I said grabbing my keys.
“Yeah, that’ll be good. We have a lot to talk about.” He said smiling at me to reassure me that everything was going to be ok.
“I guess we do.” I said walking towards the door, “I’ll call you before I leave.” I said as I opened the door and stepped out onto the brick steps.
“Ok. Good luck.” He said smiling.
“You too.” I said as I reached my car, and pulled my sunglasses on my face. I sat in my seat, and took a deep breath. Yep, this was going to be an interesting next couple of months.
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