“What about Melanie?” Justin asked as he looked down to where I was lying beside him on my bed. On the way home from the doctor we stopped and bought every name book that we could find. I guess that might have been pointless to do considering they were probably all the same in there anyway, but who cares right? I smiled, and rubbed my stomach. I’ve gotten in the habit of doing that lately.
“I like it, but I want something original.”
“Well Melanie isn’t that popular much anymore.”
“We’ll put it on the maybe list.” I said grabbing the book out of his hands.
“Hey I was looking at that.” He said trying to grab it back from me, but I moved out of his grasp.
“You’ve been looking at ever since we got home. When’s it gonna be my turn?”
“How about when I’m done?” he said trying to grab it again. I pushed him back over on the other side, and got up at quick as I could. He started to go after me, but stopped when we heard the doorbell.
“You’re saved by the bell my friend.” He said pointing his finger at me from where I had my head sticking out of my bathroom that was connected to my room. He winked at me as he walked out of my room to answer the door. I heard the doorbell ring once more, and then a few minutes later the sounds of a female voice enter the house.
Oh yeah with all the baby excitement I forgot to mention that Justin had a new…well, to tell you the truth for once I don’t know what this girl is to him. I wouldn’t say that they’re boyfriend girlfriend but you know they’re more than just friends. Well I was just friends with him and look where that got me. I rolled my eyes and plopped back down on my bed.
Ok I’m not jealous, but there’s just something about that girl that I don’t like. Maybe it’s because I get the vibe that she doesn’t really care for me either. Oh, her name is Michelle. I don’t know how they met, nor do I really care. That sounded bitter didn’t it? I placed the baby book on my stomach when I heard someone knock on my door, and then enter.
“Hey, I know we sort of had plans tonight, but can I rain check? I forgot that I promised Michelle that I would have dinner with her tonight.” I heard Justin say as he sat down by on the bed.
Would you read too much into it if I said I felt a tiny pang of jealousy rip through me?
“Uh, sure, go ahead.” I said smiling.
“Are you sure? I can cancel if you want me too.”
“No, Justin, go. You already had plans with her, and I don’t want you breaking things off with her for me.”
“Lor, you need me more than she does.”
Well, at least I knew where I stood when it came to me and her. Would it be bad if I liked it just a teensy bit to much that I knew that I had the upper hand when it came to her?
“Justin, I’ll be perfectly fine. Go.” I said picking the book back up again, and focused my attention on it. This time he was the one to grab it from me. “Hey!”
“Pay backs suck don’t they?” He said shoving the book into this back pocket, “Seriously though…you know what I’m just going to tell her that I can’t. You need me.” He said on his back to my door.
“Justin! No, come on. It would be rude of you to do that her.” Not that I really cared.
“Honestly what good would I be to her anyway when I know that I left a pregnant woman at home all alone? I would be worried about you the whole time.”
“Would it make you feel any better if I asked someone to come over?” I said. Was it just me or was he looking for ways to get out of this date?
I could see that would have really preferred to stay home, “I would really rather I do it so I know for sure you’re ok.”
I grabbed my cell phone, “I’ll just call Kelly and ask her to come over. We haven’t hung out in a while, and I kind of miss her.”
He smiled despite the look on his face. You know I would almost say that he dreaded going on this date. Poor girl, “I guess I could live with that.”
I pulled her number up on my contact list and pressed the dial button, “Now you go and have fun. I’m sure you’ll have fun with a skinny girl then one who looks like a beached whale.”
“Lori, you don’t…”
“GO! Now, before I throw something at you. Go have fun, in fact have it for the both of us.” I said smiling at him.
He walked back over to me and kissed me on my cheek the leaned down and kissed my stomach, “I’ll be back.”
Ok of all the times that he has kissed my cheek I have never felt what I just did. Have we just been spending too much time together, because I could have just sworn to you that I felt...butterflies? No, no way. I really am going crazy! You know it’s these damn hormones that are making me feel this way!
I laughed; you know one of those laughs where you’re just too nervous to do anything else? Yeah one of those. “I promise we’re not going anywhere.” I was startled by hearing Kelly’s voice pick up the phone, “Hey it’s me hold on a sec.”
“I’ll call you and tell you when we’re on our way home.”
“If you make it home.” I said with a playful wink.
“Trust me, I’ll make it home.” Justin looked at me concerned, “Are you feeling ok? You look a little flushed.”
There goes that nervous laugh again, “No, no, I’m fine. Probably just a little…is it hot in here?” I said fanning myself. Damn this blushing shit. I haven’t blushed since like…hell I don’t even remember when!
“Babe, it’s the middle of November.” He said laughing at me.
“It’s still LA.”
“And it gets cold at night, especially during the winter.”
“Well I’m hot.”
“You’re crazy.” He said kissing me on the cheek again, “I’ll be back, promise.” He said as he walked toward my door. He stole one more smile at me, and then closed it behind him.
Oh, I’m officially losing my mind. I snapped out of my daze when I head Kelly’s voice coming from my phone that I hadn’t realized was still up to my ear.
“Shit. Sorry Kel. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting for so long.”
I heard her laugh, “It’s fine. So, what’s up?”
“Are you busy?”
“Nope just got a date with my couch, and Dr. McDreamy. Why? What’s going on?”
“Do you mind bringing the Dr. McDreamy party over here, because I really need some girl time?” I said hoping I didn’t sound too desperate. “Plus Justin has a date tonight and he doesn’t want me at home by myself. He offered to ditch her, but I decided I could really use some me and you time.” I said hoping she said yes, because I really needed to talk to someone about this, and she was my only hope. I couldn’t talk to Justin for obvious reason, and definitely not telling Trace because I would just be better off telling Justin. Little shit couldn’t keep his mouth closed if his life depended on it.
“Sure. McDreamy is much better if you talk about him with someone who appreciates his beauty. I don’t think Cuddles likes McDreamy. I think she’s more of a McSteamy chick.” Kelly said referring to her 5 year old cat.
“What an outrage.” I said laughing.
“I know I’m thinking about disowning her.” Yeah that would never happen. “So, I’ll be over in say, 10?”
“Yeah, hey can you do me a huge favor?”
“What’s that?”
“Can you get us some ice cream on your way over? I’ll pay you back and everything.”
“That serious huh?”
“What?”
“You call me up for girl time, and then you ask me for ice cream. Ice cream and girl time calls for something major. When’s the last time we have had girl time and ice cream and it not being about a guy?”
“Uh…”
“Exactly. I’ll be there in a little bit. Toodles.”
If she could read me over the phone and she’s only known me since we were in college, imagine how Justin could read me when we stand face to face. Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, and more shit.
“So since our hour date with McDreamy is over. Spill.” Kelly said turning to me on the couch. She shoved the spoon of ice cream into her mouth, and smiled raising her eyebrows.
“It’s weird, really, really, weird.”
“Something going on with you and Justin?”
“How did you know?”
Kelly laughed, “It’s only obvious. I can tell you’re having boy trouble, and the only boy that you’ve been around long enough is Justin.”
“Am I that readable?”
“Sort of, but don’t worry guys are dumb when it comes to this sort of thing. So he’s probably just writing it off as some weird side effect of your wacked out hormones.”
“It’s nothing really, but I have a feeling it may grow into something bigger.” I said shoving the pleasant coldness of my Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream into my mouth.
“Explain.”
“Well it’s all started with all this baby stuff. I mean he’s been so…amazing through it all. Then he gets this new girl…thing. I don’t even know what to label her as. And I start to feel…jealous. I was never this way before with any other girl that he ever dated. I mean yeah I cared and all that jazz, but it was because I was concerned with whether he was going to get hurt again, and I was always on guard, but never jealous.”
“You think you’re jealous of this girl?”
“Well, yeah. Like take tonight for instance, he said we were going to hang out all night and pick out names for the baby…by the way it’s a girl.”
“A girl? Oh yay! I’m so excited.” She said leaning over to give me a congratulatory hug. “Ok now go on.”
“Well we were kidding around with each other, and then the doorbell rang, and it was her. I didn’t really care at first; I just thought she was going to be here for a few minutes or so and then leave. But he comes up and tells me that he forgot he had plans, and was wondering if it was ok if he went. I told him it was perfectly fine, but that little twinge came up like she was stepping in on my territory and I didn’t like it.”
“He wasn’t just making up the fact that he had made plans with her before to just go out with her was he?”
“No, no, he honestly forgot. He felt really bad, and offered to ditch HER and stay with me. But I told him that would be really rude, and convinced him that I would call you. Hence one of the main reasons you’re here.”
“Thanks for making feel like a babysitter. Here I thought you honestly just missed me.” She said jokingly.
“I do miss you.” I said smiling as I grabbed her hand. “You have no idea how much this means to me that I have everyone’s support in all this, plus I can talk to you about things that I can’t with Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumb Ass.”
“Well that’s what friends are for right?” She said smiling at me, “So back to the point at hand. Continue.”
“Then before he left after I assured him everything would be fine, he did something that he normally does before he leaves to go anywhere. He kisses me on the cheek, and then kisses my belly.”
I looked over and saw her blissfully looking into the air, “That’s so sweet.”
I rolled my eyes, “Anyway, he kisses me on the cheek, and for some reason, it just felt…different.”
“You felt something different in a kiss on the cheek?”
“Well, yeah. I did.” I said defensively.
“Lori, I think you’re just running from the obvious.”
“And what’s that?”
“You’re starting to develop feelings for the guy.” She said as she put both her feet on the ground, and put her empty pint of ice cream on the table. “And there’s no reason why you shouldn’t. He’s a pretty awesome guy. Not to mention extremely gorgeous.” She said fanning her hand in front of her face. Then she turned to face me again, and grabbed my hand, “And he’s the father of your baby.”
I was going to say something, but our attention was turned away to the garage door opening and the sound of a car engine turning off. “Speaking of yo baby daddy.”
I hit her on the arm, “Shut up! Do you have any idea how bad that sounded?”
“What? It’s the truth!”
“That just sounded…wrong!”
I heard the sound of the door open, and then shut, “Lor?”
“In here.” I called leading him into the living room.
“Hello ladies.” He said placing a kiss on our heads. “Did you have fun gossiping?”
“We did nothing of the sort.” I said smiling as he sat on the chair opposite the couch.
“Sure. You left evidence.”
“What evidence?”
He picked up an ice cream container, “This.”
I looked over at Kelly. Didn’t she just say that guys don’t pick up on that kind of thing? She caught on to my look, “It’s just ice cream.” She said looking back at me.
“Yeah ice cream, two women, and weird looks being passed between them. But I know you women like to have your little secrets so…whatever.” He said not hiding the smile that was beginning to play on his face. Then he stood back up, “I’m going to go take a shower. So if you ladies will excuse me.” He said turning toward the staircase then turning back around, “Oh Kel thanks for coming over and staying with Lori for me.”
Kelly smiled. It was sort of a nervous one, but hey a smile none the less. “No problem.” He smiled at her and then walked back up the stairs.
“He has a killer smile.”
I threw a pillow at her, “I thought you said men don’t pick up on this stuff.”
“I said boys not men.” She said trying to lighten the mood.
“Whatever! Who cares? I don’t need him reading into my, what I think might be, feelings for him right now. My god I’m about to go insane just thinking about it. It’s the last thing I need right now.” I said standing up. I grabbed our empty cartons and began to carry them into the kitchen. Well more like waddled them into the kitchen. It was something that I recently developed. So sue me?
I heard Kelly sigh, and get up from her spot on the couch. I threw the cartons in the trash away, and began to work on the dishes that were left in the sink. I threw open the dishwasher, and began to put the dishes in there. Well, ok, more like slammed them. I was in a mood. I recently developed that too.
“Is it so bad that you have feelings for him?”
I abruptly turned around still tightly gripping the glass in my hand, “YES!” I took a few deep breaths and calmed down then continued, “Yes it’s bad when the person that you have feelings for is your best friend.”
“He’s also your baby’s father. That has to say something.”
“What does it say? It says I was drunk and slept with my best friend. That’s what it says.”
“What if there was something there that was just brought out more when you were drunk.” She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms, “We all know you have an evil side, but that side never rears its head until your drunk or in traffic or haven’t had your coffee in the morning.”
“Your point?” I asked turning back to the dishes and the dishwasher.
“My point is even when you’re drunk you just don’t up and sleep with your best friend.” She sighed, “But then again I could be wrong. I’ve always thought that you two would make a great couple, and maybe that’s clouding my mind. But seriously there’s something there between you two that obviously neither one of you can see. It’s not wrong to have these feelings for him. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“I’m sorry. I just freaked out that maybe he could read me.”
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?”
“I don’t know. With the pregnancy, thanksgiving, excitement of finding out that I’m having a girl, and these…whatever the hell they are, has got me a little confused and frustrated.”
“I understand.” Then she gave me a smile, “Congratulations on the baby girl.”
“Thanks.”
“I think I’m gonna go now that baby daddy is home.” She said giving me a hug.
I returned it and walked with her toward the door. She grabbed her keys and her purse off the entrance table, and turned back to me, “A little advice?”
I smiled, “What’s that?”
”Don’t ignore these feelings. Don’t try to push them away. Let it happen. Don’t’ be afraid. You might be surprised you might find what you’re looking for.” She said as she turned the door knob.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” She said as she walked out. I stood there until her car was out of sight then I closed the door behind me.
Maybe she was right.
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