Lance wiped down the kitchen table. It needed it after the dinner they just had. Chris and Joey had volunteered to do the dishes since he’d made dinner, and that he should relax. The sentiment was appreciated, but Lance liked to keep busy.
“J, can you get me the dishwasher soap?” Joey asked, taking the plate that Chris had rinsed off and putting it into the dishwasher.
“Sure.” Justin had been leaning against JC, who was sitting on the counter. He pushed himself off JC and walked over by the sink. Opening a cabinet, he sighed when he didn’t find it.
“It’s in the lower cabinet,” Lance told him, not wanting Justin to tear his kitchen apart looking for soap.
Justin nodded and bent down. He opened the cabinet and grabbed the bottle before closing it again. Standing quickly, the back of his head connected with the still open cabinet door above him with a loud thump.
“Ow!” Chris cried, the spoon falling out of his hand and clanging to the floor.
Lance had seen the whole thing happen out of the corner of his eye. He’d winced in sympathy for Justin, but was surprised when Chris cried out in pain. Justin closed the door with a laugh and didn’t look to be in any pain at all, which wasn’t right. Lance had done that before and knew how much it hurt.
“Chris, does your arm hurt?” Lance asked, remembering earlier in the week when Justin had broken his arm and Chris had complained of being in pain while Justin insisted it didn’t hurt. That situation was too similar to what had just happened.
“Why are you asking about my arm? My head freaking hurts,” Chris scowled, rubbing the back of his head.
Lance crossed his arms. “Just answer the question.”
“Yeah.” Chris shrugged. “It had gotten better, but I noticed it again this morning.”
“Did you take your pain killers today?” Lance asked, turning to face Justin.
Justin shook his head. “No. I figured I wouldn’t have to anymore.”
Lance nodded. He’d had a hunch that would be Justin’s answer when Chris said his arm hurt. It seemed like in some bizarre way Chris was feeling Justin’s pain. But he wanted to test his theory before he said anything to the others, so he walked over to Justin and poked him in the arm. Chris cried out in pain like he had expected.
“I think Chris can feel Justin’s pain,” Lance said.
“Really?” Smiling, Justin went to pinch his left arm, but settled for his bicep when he saw the white cast covering the majority of his left arm.
Chris glared at him. “Quit it.”
“I wonder if it works both ways,” Joey mused and reached out to slap Chris on the back of the head.
“Ow! That’s where I hit my head!” Chris complained.
“You didn’t hit your head. I did,” Justin corrected, laughing at the look on Chris’ face. Lance smiled in amusement.
Joey smacked Chris in the head again. “Yeah.”
Chris turned on Joey who was laughing and whacked him upside the head. “How does it feel?”
Justin smiled at Chris retaliating by hitting Joey back, but he noticed movement out of the corner of eye. He watched as JC silently slid off the counter and a flicker of emotion that he couldn’t place pass over JC’s face as he walked out of the room. There was no doubt in Justin’s mind where JC was going. Whenever there was something bothering JC he liked to seclude himself in his room. But Justin wasn’t going to let that happen. Without a word to the others he left the kitchen as silently as JC had.
“JC,” Justin called from the bottom of the stairs, stopping JC’s ascent halfway.
JC let out an annoyed sigh and turned around. “What, Justin?”
“Where are you going?” Justin asked.
“I need to be alone,” JC said.
“No.”
JC raised an eyebrow. “No?”
“No. You’re not going to lock yourself in your room.” Justin watched the same emotion flicker across JC’s face as it had in the kitchen, and he realized that it was anger. It wasn’t often JC got angry, but even when he did it was rare that he actually showed it. With this in mind Justin added, “I know you don’t think so, but you shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“I’m an adult and I can make my own decisions,” JC said defensively and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Your decisions aren’t always the best for you,” Justin replied, thinking back to JC’s collapse on stage and then, just recently, finding him asleep on the bathroom floor. JC hadn’t been doing a good job of taking care of himself and while he’d gotten better since then, Justin didn’t want it to happen again.
Justin watched as JC fought his emotions and struggled for something to say. After a minute JC turned his back on Justin and continued climbing the stairs. Quickly Justin climbed a few from the bottom. There was no way he was letting JC leave, and he was angry that JC thought he would let him. Justin put a hand on JC’s shoulder to make him face him and said, “Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you!”
“What’s your problem?” JC asked, glaring fiercely at Justin. It unnerved him because he wasn’t usually on the receiving end of JC’s anger. But he didn’t back down.
“You,” Justin snapped, his anger getting the better of him because he didn’t really mean it. Quickly he added more gently, “You always think you have to deal with everything on your own, but you don’t. You can talk to us. To me.”
“I don’t want to talk!” JC spat. “I want to sit in my room and process things by myself.”
Justin took a deep breath. He had to calm because both of them couldn’t be yelling or else they would get nowhere. “What’s there to process?”
JC shot him an incredulous look. “You know what!”
“Let’s go back downstairs and talk about it together. We haven’t had time to process it either,” Justin suggested.
“Of course you haven’t! You think it’s a damn joke!” JC took a step closer and this time Justin took a step back.
“No, we don’t,” Justin objected.
“Yes, you do. You guys were hitting Chris, purposely causing him pain and laughing about it! You should’ve been concerned with what’s happening.”
“We are--” Justin started, but was cut off by JC.
“Chris won’t only be feeling his own pain, but yours too. Every time you get hurt your pain will be passed on to him. Tell me, is it funny now?”
Justin was shocked and didn’t say anything, just stared at JC with wide eyes full of hurt. JC sighed heavily and looked down as he mumbled, “Just leave me alone.”
JC climbed the last few steps and disappeared around the corner. The echo of the door shutting filtered down the stairs and into the silent hallway where Chris was standing with Joey and Lance. They had heard the yelling and came out to find JC and Justin on the stairs fighting. It had been surprising to see them go at it like that because they hardly ever fought, and when they did it never escalated like that.
Lance walked over to Justin and gently put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. Justin jerked out of Lance’s grasp and walked past Chris and Joey towards the kitchen. They followed him and stopped when Justin suddenly turned around, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over.
“He’s right.” Justin gazed at Chris and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right, J,” Chris soothed, pulling Justin into a hug. He felt Justin’s arms wrap around him.
Justin shook his head. “It’s all my fault.”
Chris pulled Justin back and held him at arm’s length so he could see his face. “None of this is your fault.”
“But if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t be in pain,” Justin objected, sadly. As Chris steered Justin over to the couch to sit down, he couldn’t help but curse JC for saying those awful things and making him feel responsible. He wanted to give JC a piece of his mind, but for now he had to take care of his littlest brother.
“Listen to me,” Chris commanded softly and waited until Justin looked up at him. “I would do anything for you, this included. And I would much rather it be me in pain than you. I’m glad to take away your pain.”
“But I don’t want you to,” Justin said quietly.
“Yeah, well, that’s what comes with being a big brother,” Chris told him, smiling slightly. “Even when his little brother is as annoying as you.”
Justin choked on a laugh before he sobered. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“Stop apologizing. You had no way of knowing, so there’s no way I blame you,” Chris said.
“You should,” Justin muttered, looking down at the couch.
“Well, I don’t.”
“JC said””
“Screw what JC said,” Chris interrupted. “He’s being an ass right now, and I’m sure he regrets what he said to you.”
Justin sighed. “Yeah, maybe.”
Chris hated that Justin was upset. It was even worse that JC had been the one to cause it too because he was always the one that looked out for Justin all the time. There wasn’t anything else that Chris could say to make Justin feel better, and the only person that could was currently hiding in his bedroom.
JC steadily paced the length of his room alongside his bed. There was so much to deal with. The biggest thing was Chris feeling Justin’s pain. He hadn’t really been too surprised when Lance had said it aloud because he’d had his suspicions ever since Justin broke his arm and Chris was complaining about his arm hurting. But there hadn’t been anything else that would suggest that it was actually true. Until now that is.
This was horrible news in JC’s eyes. It was one more thing that they had to deal with and he was convinced that it was his fault because he just knew the demons had to be behind this. The demons were after him so that made it his fault. JC was even more convinced that when it came time to face them that he would have to leave the guys behind, especially now that Chris was feeling Justin’s pain because if something happened to Justin, he would be hurt physically but Chris would be receiving the pain. Who knows what would happen if Justin died. Would Chris die too? JC didn’t know and he didn’t plan on finding out because there was no way he was going to let anything bad happen to Justin.
Sighing, he raked a hand through his long hair as his thoughts led him to Justin. He knew that he’d said the wrong things to Justin from the hurt look that he’d seen on his face. His anger just got the better of him. But a small part of him said that Justin deserved it because he wouldn’t leave him alone. JC had known that he needed to get control of his anger. That’s why he’d left the kitchen because he knew that if stayed any longer listening to them laugh and continue to hit Chris that he’d start yelling at them. Regardless of that, JC knew that he was going to have to apologize to Justin.
JC’s attention was caught by his door opening. He turned to see Lance striding purposefully into the room with a dark, tense look on his face. That was a sure sign that Lance was pissed. Not that JC expected anything less because he was sure arguing with Justin had drawn their attention to them.
“Enjoying your alone time?” Lance asked, crossing his arms.
“Don’t, Lance.”
Lance glared at him. “Don’t what? You wanted to be alone so bad that you yelled at one of your best friends and pretty much told him he was to blame.”
“I know and I’m sorry,” JC said.
“Tell that to Justin, not me. He’s really upset,” Lance replied.
JC sighed, frustrated. “Don’t you think I feel bad enough without you harping on me? I know what I said was wrong and I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.”
“Then why did you?” Lance asked.
“He wouldn’t leave me alone,” JC snapped.
Lance raised an eyebrow. “You hurt his feelings because he cared about you?”
“That’s not what I meant,” JC said, glaring at Lance. He hated that Lance was trying to twist it so it sounded like he didn’t care about upsetting Justin because he did.
“That’s what it sounded like.”
“You know I would never intentionally hurt him,” JC said.
“But you did,” Lance replied.
JC hung his head, regretting starting that argument with Justin. He could’ve easy ignored him and just continued upstairs to his room instead of lashing out on Justin. The argument certainly wasn’t worth it, and he felt horrible. When JC had first met Justin and taken him under his wing, he’d vowed that he would protect him and never let anything hurt him. But he had, not physically, but emotionally, and it was by his own hand.
Lance sighed and leaned back against JC’s dresser. “What’s wrong with you, JC?”
“Nothing,” JC defended.
Lance gave him a knowing look. “Ripping up your notebook, yelling at Chris, yelling at Justin…Your temper is so easy to set off lately and it isn’t you.”
“I know. It’s just…” JC paused, lowering himself to sit on his bed. “I can’t seem to control it.”
“Well, you’re going to have to because you can’t keep taking your anger out on us,” Lance said.
JC nodded. “You’re right. It’s just hard with everything that’s happened lately.”
“I know you’re frustrated””
“That’s not it.” JC saw Lance’s look of disbelief and amended, “Well, it is, but…This is my fault more than anything.”
Lance frowned. “Why would you say that?”
“Because!” JC jumped up and ran a hand haphazardly through his hair, making it stick up in odd places. “I’m the reason behind everything that’s happened. You getting the demon in your head, Joey getting attacked, and now Chris feeling Justin’s pain. The demons are behind it.”
“We don’t know that this stuff with Chris and Justin is the work of the demons,” Lance objected.
“They have to be. Why else would this be happening?” JC asked. “The only purpose it serves is to hurt them both. Chris’ll be feeling twice the pain, and Justin will feel guilty about it.”
“See this is why Justin didn’t want you to be by yourself. Because every time you are you get yourself all worked up,” Lance said.
“That’s not true,” JC denied.
“Oh yeah?” Lance challenged. “You collapsed on stage and you made yourself sick.”
“You don’t have to remind me,” JC grumbled.
“Yeah, JC, I do. You let your thoughts consume you and neglect to take care of yourself.”
“That’s not going to happen again,” JC said quickly.
Lance nodded. “You’re right. It’s not because I won’t let it.”
JC glared at him. “I don’t need to be babysat.”
“I know you don’t like it, but I refuse to go through that again, especially now that we’re trying to figure out a solution,” Lance said.
“I want you to trust me,” JC replied.
“Then give me a reason to.”
“I would if you gave me a chance,” JC said.
“OK.” Lance stood up. “I’m going downstairs and I want you to come down when you’re ready to apologize to Justin.”
JC nodded in agreement and watched Lance walk out of the room. He couldn’t believe Lance had said half of things that he had, but JC could understand where he was coming from. Neglecting his body to the point of exhaustion probably scared them, but that didn’t mean they could treat him like a child. Determined to prove that Lance could trust him, JC took a deep breath to prepare himself because he knew that if Lance was pissed then Chris would be ten times worse. Not to mention Justin might not even want to talk to him. But no matter what JC knew this was something he had to do.
Chapter End Notes:
Sorry this one was a little bit later than I said. You'll probably get the next one on Friday though since I'm going away for Memorial Day weekend.
But anyway, hope you're enjoying it and thanks for reading!
But anyway, hope you're enjoying it and thanks for reading!
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